Anemone
by oONekomataOo
Summary: Summary: Kuronue comes back fic! Kuro' moves to Tokyo with his human family, attends and attempts to take over Meiou with his old partner in crime, while dealing with crazy neighbors, crazier fangirls, and cranky fire demons.
1. Chapter 1

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

Kuro: "Flirty Bats"

Neko: That would be you, Wingz.

Kuro: Feh.

**One more warning**: I haven't written 1st Person POV in forever, so….yeah. Still getting used to it. Anemone will be written from Kuronue's POV and therefore it will be psychotic. Not that most of what I write in 3rd Person isn't. --.--; Oh, and I apologize for the first chapter, I had to do a lot of boring plot/setting/chara description so it's kinda blah.

**Chapter 1 **

"Moooooom, do we really hafta move?" I whined for the umpteenth time since leaving Kyoto. "I don't wanna go to Tokyoooooo!"

While normally I consider whining beneath me, being a former demon and all, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Point being that I really didn't want to get in a car and drive hundreds of miles only to move into a brand new city where I knew no one and our neighbors would be three hundred years old with a little poodle called Fifi that had an appetite for human flesh. Besides, I don't like travel, I'm an Aries.

In this life and the last.

My mother just laughed at me. Damn her. Damn her and her inability to get upset. Sometimes I wondered if she was the one that wasn't human.

"Quit whining, you sound like a girl," my younger brother, Hiro complained, only to receive a glare from me, and a poke from our younger sister Hana.

Next to her, Irogami (AKA "Iro" or "Spawn of Satan") opened his mouth and yawned…or something. I don't really know; he's a chameleon. Those things creep me out. I'm pretty sure he's bipolar too.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" he cried.

A poking war was engaged. Was I ever glad I sat shotgun.

_Thump, thump, thump_.

Maybe not. Hiro decided to go all out and kick the back of my seat too. Naturally, I retaliated, but we were all thrown off balance when the tiny blue car we were riding in swerved sharply to the left, only inches away from the guard rail.

"All right, children," Hazuki said mockingly. "Settle down or I'll toss ya out."

Spoken like a true mother. I stopped my attack on the brat in back and sunk deeper into my chair. How did I ever go from being a fearless bandit that roamed Makai to an older brother that poked his siblings in the car? Well, technically I _did_ always poke Youko in the ribs (his only ticklish spot) if I didn't get my way, and I was older…I think. I chuckled a bit. Man, I missed my old life on Makai. But if I had to give up this one for it…I don't know. As much, as I hate to admit it, my human family has really grown on me. I have a caring yet slightly crazy young mother and two younger siblings that look up to me of all people (even if they don't always show it).

All and all life's pretty good. Especially once my old powers started to return to me. While I still can't transform into my original demonic self, I _can_ destroy brick walls with my sythes, and look damn good doing it too, I might add. But my wings…

I now know what those little birds in cages with the clipped wings feel like. Back when I was Kuronue, the wind was like a part of me, and now that I'm wingless Kuroji Akatsuki…you can imagine how depressed that makes me at times. There's nothing better than flying across the night sky on a full moon, stealing some rich bastard's treasure with your best friend, trust me.

Thinking of the time we raided a particularly annoying aristocrat's mansion and took his beloved gold-plated monkey statue on a harvest moon, I sank deeper into my chair and drifted off to sleep with a smile on my lips.

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"WAKE UP, ANIKI!!!"

I shot up out of my seat and hit the top of the car. Behind me, Hiro and Hana laughed. I rubbed my head and glared at them.

"Don't bother waking me up unless we're there, dammit!"

The duo giggled again while I tried to get comfortable in my seat. No sooner had I closed my eyes that I was rudely awoken again.

"WE'RE HERE, ANIKI!!!"

I managed to look out the window. Mom was already outside talking to the movers. They had planned this, the little brats.

"You slept for a really long time, Aniki! It's almost like you're nocturnal or something," giggled Hana hugging Irogami on her lap.

Gimme a break, people, I used to be a _bat_ youkai! Of _course_ I like to sleep during the day. Quickly deciding against whacking them both upside the head, I got out of the car to see if my mom needed anything. On the way, Iro flicked his tongue at me. Bad omen. That little bugger shouldn't even be out of his cage.

"Put the lizard back in his cage, Hana," I said before I shut the door.

"He's a _chameleon--_!" was all I got before the door silenced her voice.

"What kind of crazy family keeps creatures like that anyway…" I muttered to myself while walking over to my mom.

"Perfect timing, Honey!" Hazuki beamed as she handed me a particularly heavy box. "That goes to the second floor!"

Not quite what I had in mind, but at least I'd get to see the inside of the house and get first dibs on rooms.

I kicked the unlocked front door open and glanced around. It was a pretty modest two-story, four bedroom house, but had a lot of elegant woodwork throughout. It was strange to see the place look so empty though, back in Kyoto our apartment was packed wall to wall with everything from pepperoni-scented furniture to embarrassing baby pictures. Speaking of walls, the ones here were painted some kind of crème color and the carpet was blue, which would help me distinguish them in the mornings I came stumbling down the stairs for school. Kudos to Hazuki.

Since I knew the biggest room would automatically go to her, I called the second largest room. I even had my own tree by the window. I smiled; perfect for late night entry. Heading back downstairs, I paused. For some reason, I could sense a particularly strong _reiki_ aura from outside. Nothing I couldn't handle of course, but worth noting nonetheless. Before I went back out, I made sure to suppress my own energy even more. Gotta love that element of surprise.

"Kuroji! Over here!" my mom called from a small group of people on our yawn.

I headed over and immediately regretted it. From out of nowhere, with speed that even a flying shadow would be jealous of, my face was caught in the deathgrip of some strange, over-scented woman with hair so orange I could have sworn she was a carrot.

"Ooooh! Look at him! Such cute little cheeks!" she squeaked.

Who was this woman and why was she squeezing my cheeks? I looked around frantically for help, but received none. Only after Orangy's need to pinch the hell out of my face was finally sated, that I was released.

As I stood momentarily stunned by the awkward experience, I found myself unconsciously rubbing my cheeks. Noting that my brother and sister were doing the same, I guessed that the beast of a woman must have just appeared. I was surprised we were all alive; this lady had more facial hair than most men, a creepy smile, and a body that made Arnold Schwarzenegger look gym-shy.

Where the hell was that homicidal lizard when I needed him?

"This is my oldest son, Kuroji," Hazuki stated with a gesture in my direction. "He's also seventeen, like your son."

Son? Ah, she must mean the two others accompanying the Orange Beast. Didn't notice them, what with their mother slowly draining the life out of me through my soon to be swollen face and all. Now that I got a good look at them, I could tell that it was her son that was the source of the _reiki_. Sadly, he took after his gorilla mother in looks.

"Oooh, just barely! My little boy just turned seventeen last week! We were amazed he got past _seven_!" The Orange Beast chortled, flailing her arms wildly.

Somehow I believed her. This guy may have had more spiritual energy than most humans, but he didn't look any smarter than a third-grader. Judging by his face, I'd say it was a safe bet that he was dropped on his head a few times.

"Mom! Don't be tellin' them stuff like that!" he whined. "I'm Kazuma Kuwabara, Number One fighter at Sarayashiki High! Bwa, ha, ha, ha! "

Given that the second half was spoken in a Macho-Buff voice, I assumed it was directed at me. Was I supposed to be…impressed? I noticed that he puffed out his chest and made his _reiki_ increase slightly when he talked. Not that that would do any good for the general public who didn't believe in spirit energy, much less sense it. He was going to irritate me, I just know it.

"And no one cares," interupted the older female as she hit the back of his head. "I'm Shizuru."

I grinned. I liked this Shizuru already. Not romantically or anything, I just liked a woman that could put a macho idiot in his place. She seemed to have some _reiki_ as well, so I'd really have to watch my back, lest give away the fact that I'm not totally human.

"And this is our little Fifi!" Orange Beast excitedly exclaimed as she held up a vicious little poodle in a pink sweater.

Where the HELL was the damn lizard?

Now I'm relatively pale to begin with, but I'm willing to bet my new house that I turned several shades whiter at that moment. I bit my tongue to keep from letting out my nervous laughter for fear that this little monster would bite another part of me.

"We used to have a cat, but…" started the Beast "…but he ran away."

I could swear I heard Kuwabara choke back a sob.

"Smart cat," muttered Shizuru.

"Anyway, we came over to welcome you to the neighborhood!" The Orange Beast proclaimed. "I made you a casserole as well!"

"Thanks a lot!" smiled my mother as the strange smelling dish was thrust into her arms. "You really shouldn't have…"

She wasn't kidding. Orange Beast's cooking rivaled that of Sasquach on crack. Even Hazuki's smile slipped for a second as soon as she got a better look at it. I'm pretty sure that discolored apples and small children don't belong in casserole.

"So what school will you go to?" Kuwabara asked me in an arrogant tone, almost like he was daring me to give an answer.

"Meiou."

"What, that brainy school?" he asked in shock. "I know a guy that goes there, and you gotta be really smart to pass the entrance exam!"

Right. Or just be really good at cheating off your neighbor's paper. But Kuwabara wasn't done interrogating me quite yet.

"Yeah, are you _sure_ you're going to Meiou? 'Cause you don't look like you're all that smart."

"Likewise."

The look on his face was priceless. Hiro bit his lip to keep himself from laughing and Shizuru chuckled. Of course Hazuki cuffed me on the side of the head before I got too cocky. Thanks a lot, Mom.

After talking with my mom for a few more minutes and promising to answer any questions we might have, Orangy and her kids returned to their home.

I brushed my dark bangs out of my eyes out of habit. First impressions suck.

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With the moving men's help, we got everything inside a little before 5:00. Now it was just a matter of unpacking everything. And dealing with annoyed siblings.

"How come _Kuroji_ get's that room! I wanted it!" complained Hiro.

Guess I'm not "Aniki" anymore.

"Then you should have called it first, Squirt," I smirked.

"How could I! That big, orange ape attacked me before I could get in the house!"

"Hiroshi, don't call the neighbors apes," Mom scolded him in a bored tone. "Hana, can you help me with the plates, please?"

Hana went over to help her while Hiro continued complaining from the table. I had to agree with him about the attack part though. There is no way in hell I'd go anywhere near that woman voluntarily without having complete confidence in my demonic powers. I was just surprised that neither Hiro or Hana seemed scarred for life.

"Quit sulking, or you'll never get a girlfriend," I laughed as I walked by Hiro and ruffled his hair. "They'll all say 'Omigawd, that Hiroshi Akatsuki is soooo scary-looking! I had to pay off the teacher from assigning him as my lab partner! His older brother's really cute though! Tee-hee!'"

All I got was a scowl for my schoolgirl impersonation. I just grabbed a bag of chips and sat down opposite of him, azure eyes gleaming, smirk in place.

"Maybe. I guess you'll just have to tell me what they're like when you have to get up and go to your school's orientation thing tomorrow."

I choked on one of the BBQ chips. Crap. I had totally forgotten about Meiou's "Welcome Week" for freshmen and transfer students. Starting tomorrow, I'd be forced to get up early for the rest of the week and go to Meiou, where a school guide would show me around and explain all the rules and regulations that I'd probably break before the end of the first month. That's just inhumane, making my summer break shorter like that. School wouldn't even officially start for another three weeks!

Noting the newly-formed scowl on my face, Hiro lost his own and grinned at me. I threw a broken potato chip at him.

"Stop eating those things, boys! I'll have supper ready in a few minutes!" called Hazuki from the kitchen.

Hiro and I exchanged a worried look. Now, I love my human mother and all, but the woman just can't cook. She's sweet, thoughtful, and funny, but she burns water in five seconds flat. Hell, even she knows she's no Emeril. She keeps Pizza Hut, King Wok's and other local delivery places on speed-dial after all.

"Uh, mom? Why don't we just order something instead?" Hiro offered. "Y'know, to celebrate moving in and all!"

"Yeah!" I agreed. "You've been working so hard today! You should really rest up for your new day on the job tomorrow…"

Hazuki walked into the dining room carrying a familiar looking dish in a set of hot pads.

"Relax, boys, it's not one of my recipes," she huffed. "I just warmed up Mrs. Kuwabara's casserole for us."

Even worse. Just serve us arsenic straight from the bottle and save yourself the trouble of doing dishes.

"There's no way I'm eating this," I stated. The squirt nodded his head in agreement.

"And why not?"

"Because I value my life?"

"Hiroshi!"

"I'm sorry, but I stopped eating eyeballs a long time ago."

"Kuroji!"

"Look, I made a salad!" Hana beamed as she came out with a large, glass bowl. Our savior!

"Honestly, you kids…" Hazuki sighed, running a hand through her long hair.

"Please don't eat it Mom," I pleaded, poking the strange substance in the yellow dish, cringing when it seemed to recoil from my fork. "You'll die."

The head of the household stared at it for a few more moments, and then sighed again with a smile on her face.

"If anyone asks, it was delicious. Kuro, call Pizza Hut, I'm going to go bury this stuff."

We all cheered.

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The rest of the night went on without too many problems. We unpacked most of the boxes, stuffed our faces with pepperoni and double cheese, held a funeral service for whatever the Orange Beast had killed to create her casserole (My money was on her husband), and retreated to our separate corners of the house.

Feeling a little antsy, I decided it was time to explore the neighborhood. At ten o'clock at night; axe-murderers be damned.

A tumble down the stairs broke my confidence. A solid wall broke my fall (and possibly my spine).

"Owww…."

I looked up to see Irogami decamouflage himself at the top of the stairs and toddle off.

"You little bastard!" I shouted. "I'm going to skin you alive and turn you into a damn _purse_!"

"Kuroji, is that you?" a voice called out from the living room.

"Yeah Mom, I'm going on a walk!" I yelled down the hallway as I grabbed my coat out of the closet. Casting one more hateful glare at the stairs, I walked over to the door.

"Okay, Honey! See you later!" Came the reply.

That's one of the things I really loved about my human mother—she understood when I needed to be alone for awhile. It could be eleven o'clock at night, and she wouldn't raise an eyebrow if I grabbed my jacket for a little midnight stroll. Secretly she might worry, but she never said anything because she knew how important my alone time was. I couldn't help but smile.

I opened the door and savored the small breeze that hit my face. Tokyo was definitely a little chillier than Kyoto was at night. Not that I minded, of course. As long as there was a breeze, I was happy. Now if only I had my wings…

Just as I did in Kyoto, I let my feet take me wherever they wanted while my mind wandered. Since I seemed to be in the Lands of Surburbia, I doubted I'd find a forest to roam for at least a few miles. Oh well, I had time.

I passed by soon to be sleeping houses, stores closing up for the night, and the occasional nightwalker (Guess I wasn't the only freak out this late after all), until I stumbled upon a park.

Ignoring the closed iron gates, I took a few steps back and started running at them. It was only about eight feet tall, no problem for my _youki_-enhanced body. I easily cleared the metal bars and landed without a sound.

"Oh yeah, I still got it."

Walking around the park, I took a slower pace to take everything in. It was strange, all the rocks, trees, and other plantlife echoed Makai. I had no idea why, but this place seemed so familiar to me for some reason. Heck, I half expected Youko to appear beside me and laugh at my current incarnation.

Sitting on a nearby bench, I gazed upwards at the sky. It wasn't easy to merge with a ningen fetus, but I was desperate. There was no way I would let a little thing like death separate me from my best friend and the only lifestyle I'd ever known for hundreds of years. Besides knowing Youko, he'd probably blame himself for my death and give me hell for it when we'd meet again. I snickered at the thought of a whiny-emo Youko Kurama lecturing me in the afterlife. Or maybe…

…Maybe he forgot all about me.

I shook my head to clear it. Sure it's been almost eighteen years since I died in my original body, but that doesn't mean that Youko would just forget about me…..right?

Ugh. Stupid brain. This is exactly why I try not to overthink things. True, my original plan had been to leave the Ningenkai once my current body was strong enough, but then my family came in and….well, Kurama's a patient guy, and we were both orphans since we were kids in Makai, I'm sure he wouldn't blame me for staying with the family I'd only dreamed of for just a little longer…

Okay! Enough of all this self-doubt shit! I told myself as I jumped off the park bench. Somehow I would find Youko again and until then, I'd live as Kuroji Akatsuki: sexy student by day, handsome devil by night! Or something like that, I thought as I brushed the longer strands of my bangs from by eyes.

"Damn," I muttered to myself as my feet hit the pavement on the opposite side of the iron gates. "I need a theme song."

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After I came back home from my walk, I could hear Kuwabara talking loudly near an open window. I really pitied the person at the other end.

"I'm telling you, Kurama, he's just _weird_!"

Kurama? That had to be some kind of strange coincidence, yet I found myself sneaking closer to his window to hear.

"He looks kinda funny, and he goes on walks in the middle of the night, and his energy's really weird, like he's hiding something! I think he's a vampire or a...a...I don't know what!"

So he noticed my energy after all. But 'looks kinda funny?' and 'Vampire?' I don't know whether to be insulted or not, especially considering his own appearance.

"Well, yeah, I guess I did see him outside this afternoon…no, he didn't turn into dust or nothin'…But you haven't met him! Even Sis didn't think he was totally human!"

Shit. Bad news travels fast. I thought I did a pretty good job at masking my _ki_. Apparently these two are used to dealing with demons. Which makes the prospect of him knowing Kurama even more likely, and—

I stopped listening to the oaf and slapped myself mentally. There's no way that Youko Kurama would be wasting his time in the Ningenkai, and there's even less of a chance that he would affiliate himself with morons like Kuwabara. What am I doing out here anyway? I have better things to do than listen to my neighbor's phone conversations. Plus, this would be really bad if some kind of act of God happened and I was actually caught spying on Kuwabara.

Sticking close to the shadows, I slipped away from the Kuwabara household as the boy bid farewell to his friend.

Shouldn't stay out too late, I had school tomorrow after all.

----------------------------------------- END: Chap. 1

**::A/N::**

Thanks to everybody that read this! Once again, I'm sorry about the boring first chapter, things'll get more interesting when Kuro' goes to school. I have another Kuro Comes Back fic called -shallow sleep- in the works, and will probably switch off updating them (along with my other crap) as soon as I get that up.

Translation Corner------------------------

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong, let me know so I can fix it.

**Kuro** (Jap.) "Black." Chances are whenever I use this in Anem, it's just as a nickname for either Kuronue or Kuroji.

**Kuroji **(Jap.) "Being in the black." I thought it kinda fit him, plus I can still use "Kuro" as a nickname.

**Akatsuki** (Jap.) "Daybreak"

**Hazuki** (Jap.) "August, the eighth month of the year" or "Leaf Month" A traditional Japanese name. Her name will make more sense later on.

**Hana **(Jap.) "Flower"

**Hiroshi** (Jap.) "Good Man"

**Irogami** (Jap.) "Colored origami paper" (Iro means "Color")

**Aniki** (Jap.) "Big Brother." This is one of the informal ways to say it.

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki **(Jap.) "Demon-Energy"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit-Energy"

**Ki** (Jap.) "Energy"


	2. Chapter 2

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

**EDIT:** I'm not changing any of the words, but writing this as a second warning of sorts. No matter how flirty Kuro' sounds, this fic **WILL NOT** be yaoi or shonen ai. Kuronue's just joking and/or being (too) friendly. Some readers sounded worried, so I'm just clearing it up here as well. I should have the third chappie up shortly.

Neko: Thanks for all the positive feedback for the first chapter of Anemone! Kuronue's one of my favorite charas, so I love writing him. Hell, he's one of only 4 reasons why I watch the YYH movie. The other three being: Kurama's bathing scene (stupid shadows!), Some of the battles (the Hiei fight was pretty cool), and the unintended humor (I fall over laughing every time at the cheesyness of The Walk to challenge what's-his-name…Yakumo, and his cronies to a Final Showdown). Hee, hee, hee…

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Ok, I'm going to explain a few things quick. First off, Kuronue's new appearance (because I was kinda vague in the first chappie!) I imagined Kuroji as a tall and lean guy, with blue eyes and semi-long black hair. Grr, that hair is a pain in the ass to describe…

Kuro: Thanks a lot.

Neko: Uh…Anyone read DNAngel? Think Dark's hair, but not quite as long...or stylish. Er, what's another good reference…?

Kuro: _(tugs hair)_ I dunno.

Neko: Fine, fine…I'll draw a pic and post it on dA, sometime. Secondly! Kuronue's reincarnation/rebirth thingy! I'll be the first to admit that something similar has been done before (You can only find so many creative ways to bring back the dead), but other than him being reincarnated like Youko, going to school with Kurama, and eventually meeting the Tantei & Co., I'll try to keep things different from other fics. I've only had the time to read a few Kuronue stories on but will do my best to not copy something that's already been done. Granted, I'm sure some things will be similar to other Kuro' fics you've already read, most of the school-related things here will be based off of events that actually happened in The World Outside My Laptop. With a few crazy things that could only happen to an equally crazy koumori thrown in as well, of course.

Kuro: (blinks) That was….really long.

Neko: Meh. Needed to be said. Oh, and to answer your question Sora Sotara,

Kuro: The "creatures" I was referring to in Chap. 1 was anything falling under the category of "Lizard," not my ningen siblings. Although with the way they act sometimes…

Neko: You should have stated that better.

Kuro: You're the one typing this, Cat!

Neko: Touché… On with the fic!

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I woke up and the hateful thing that is my school uniform glared menacingly at me w/its maroon hues and gold trim.

It's not fair, it really isn't. Had I not transferred into Meiou, I wouldn't have to go through their stupid Welcome Week for freshmen and new students held two weeks before the actual semester started. I mean, it's still technically _summer_, for the love of all things shiny! I'd planned on sleeping in!

Snarling a few curses in Makaain to the idiot that designed the uniform as well as the idiot that invented school, I made my way to the bathroom. I flicked on the light, and was temporarily blinded by the overhead light and white porcelain. Mr. Clean obviously has something against me. You really can't trust a guy that uses the same stuff to clean toilets on his freakishly white teeth.

White was so going to be my least favorite color…..Right after Meiou-Maroon.

Grumbling, I returned to my room and put on the offensive uniform and then looking in the mirror to survey the damage. Bad idea. And for future reference, I look about as good in pink as I do in a chicken suit.

I scratched the back of my head. Pity, that Kuroji has such short hair. If I was in my true form, I could at least wear my hair down and hide part of this stupid outfit. Ugh. Some days I'd still wake up feel the back of my head and panic that half my hair got chopped off in my sleep. When I was younger, Hazuki always got a kick outta the screams and fell over laughing when I went through that whole Running-Around-The-House-Screaming-"Youko!! What the hell did you do to my gorgeous hair, you damned Kitsune?!"-At-The-Top-Of-My-Lungs-Phase.

I gelled the longer strands of my bangs to cover my face more than usual to save what little dignity I had left….which was probably about the width of my fingernail by now.

As soon as I got to the stairs, I glanced around quick. Even in my drowsy Half-Awake, Half-Coma state of mind, I know enough to check for Iro. Ever since Hana took him off the pills, I swear he's been trying to kill me. The hallway was lizardless. Good.

Before I made my journey to the bus stop, I swung by the kitchen for some breakfast. The way I figured was that ice cream topped off with pixie stix would help keep me awake for at least half of the boring speech I was sure the principal would give us. As I got closer to the doorway, I smelled smoke.

Hazuki must be up.

"Mornin' Mom," I greeted her.

"Good morning, hon—!"

Now upon seeing their own son's disgracing themselves by wearing the most hideous school uniform known to mankind, most mothers would somehow keep smiling, give them a hug, and tell them how handsome they look. They might even manage to throw in a couple words of encouragement if they had already gotten some coffee into their system to help them anticipate the shock.

But no,…not Hazuki.

"Oh my _god_, what are you _wearing_, Kuroji?!" she yelled in shock.

"My school uniform," I seethed. "The one I'm _required_ to wear."

The shock had quickly turned to laughter.

"You look like a plum that's been out in the sun too long!" she giggled, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You're seriously going out in public like that?!"

"A good Mom would've given me kind words of support and a special Back-To-School-Breakfast," I growled.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" she sputtered between gasping for air and clutching the counter for support. "Have a Pop-Tart."

And with that, a burnt Pop-Tart was shoved into my mouth.

"I can't even begin to guess what flavor this originally was."

"Now don't say that! It's your special Back-To-School-Breakfast!"

"Gee thanks, I'll remember this when it's time to put you in a home."

"You think _you're_ gonna live another forty years, boy?"

I hate it when she has a point, but the victory dance she does right after is just salt in the wound. Hazuki's laughter followed me all the way to the bus stop. At least my day couldn't get that much worse right?

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I was wrong. Horribly wrong.

As soon as I got to Meiou's gates, I fought the immediate urge to run back home. Nevermind the fact that it was nine miles away. I was in good shape, and I'm sure the horror that was beginning to build up inside me would be a great motivator.

Freshman flooded the front grounds in crazy packs all comparing schedules, giggling amongst themselves, and running around like they were at the funny farm. Maybe I had made a wrong turn somewhere…?

"Ow!" shrieked a voice behind me. "Watch where you're going!"

"Well, next time you feel like colliding with my back, you could give _me_ a little warning," I shot back, turning around to see my attacker.

"What'd you say?!" the girl screamed at me.

You know all those TV shows about high school where the entire female cast are drop-dead gorgeous, the guys are either super-buff or super-sexy, and both genders are accompanied by enough glitter to make you worry about them being radioactive? They lie. In real life, not all of the cast look like they just walked off the runway. Unless they had just stepped off the runway and were run_ over_ by a cement truck.

This little spazz was no different. Although she had her hair done up in a fashionable bun and was even wearing 24-carret diamond earrings (Yes, I can tell. I'm a thief, remember?), she was wearing way too much body-spray, about ten tons of foundation, and seemed anything but charming.

"Do you even know who I am?!" demanded the girl.

"No, but I have a feeling you'll tell me anyway," I replied without interest.

"I am Ichiwassou Maaya, Chief-Coordinator of the Welcoming Ceremony Committee!" Maaya boasted proudly.

"Right," I shrugged. "Look, Itchweed, when I actually start caring, I'll let you know, 'kay?"

But she wouldn't let me leave.

"And just who are you?" Itchweed asked.

I wondered if she knew her voice squeaked when she got angry.

"Alright, Itchweed, I'll let you in on a little secret," I whispered. "I'm not really a high school student…"

"Wh-What?" she stuttered, caught off-guard.

"Yeah, I'm really working for the JSDF to capture a serial killer that may be attending this school,"

"You're lying," the little coordinator said unsurely.

"Nope, according to the reports, the killer is a female around the age of 16, kinda short, and has a tendency to wear rotten fruit-scented perfumes, but that's not the strangest part…"

"What do you mean?"

Had her attention now.

"Instead of taking lives….she takes eardrums," I nodded. "This sick freak likes to deafen people with her nails on a chalkboard voice."

"WHAT?"

"It's true! Her name's Maaya Itchweed!"

"You insufferable little--!"

Swing and miss! Thank you demon reflexes!

"Catch ya later, Itchweed!" I waved as I strolled off, leaving the cranky coordinator to fume.

It only took me about twelve seconds later to realize exactly why I _did_ come to this school.

"Hello, ladies…" I grinned, walking over to a group of three girls that probably could have been cast into one of those high school shows I mentioned earlier. "Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?"

I was met by a chorus of giggles and smiles. Yep. Still got it.

Or at least I did before the intercom crackled to life.

"Attention students, will you all make your way to the auditorium in an orderly fashion, please. I repeat…"

Can't let that put me off, now can I?

"Hey," I said in a deeper voice. "Would any of you care to sit by me?"

I was promptly dragged off to wherever the hell the Aud. was, by three pairs of hormonally-driven hands.

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"And that is why we do not switch the school's garden plants with carnivorous ones…" the principal droned on.

We must have been here an hour already, and he still wasn't halfway through the school rules and policies. The three girls I sat with had already fallen asleep, I was pretty sure I'd be next.

"The brewing or production of alcoholic beverages in the chemistry labs is strictly prohibited…"

"The distribution of said alcoholic beverages under the name of 'Gatorade' is also a violation of policy…"

A few decades later, the fat man finally stopped and wished us well on our first year. His secretary took over the mic again, and told us all to return to the courtyard to find our school guides.

"You'll be assigned a guide based on the last two digits of your student ID. All students with 20's and lower will meet by the fountain, 30's – 40's will meet by the field house…"

I looked at my own ID. It ended in a '13.'

"This really won't be my day, will it?" I asked myself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back outside, I was forced to bid a tearful farewell to three ningen girls that sat with me. Well, at least they were crying. Maybe I should have gotten their names? Oh, well.

Now from the five minutes of the Principal's lecture I actually listened to, I learned that I'd have my own School Guide person all to myself because I'm one of only about five transfer students. Apparently, they figure that we know what the hell a locker is and how to open it without being held by the hand, so they let us skip a few of the activities designed for freshmen. Thank God. One less thing I have to put up with on the Tour de Meiou. Now if my School Guide is hot, I think I might actually be able to make it through the week.

Where was I supposed to meet them again? Oh, right. The fountain. Perfect. If I get stuck with that Itchweed as my School Guide, I'll be able to do the school a favor and drown one of us before the festivities begin.

With that happy thought in mind, I strolled over to the fountain with grin on my face. One of the teachers presiding over the event gave me a glare that would make lower class demons think twice about eating humans. Bitch. I was mentally calculating all the ways I could sneak a box full of frogs into her classroom before she even opened the door, when yet another person ran into me.

What _was_ it with people crashing into me today? I thought this school was for the gifted, not the walking-challenged.

"Terribly sorry," a voice apologized.

"Hey, don't worry about it," I said as I turned around. At least he actually sounded sorry. "Are you one of the--"

I couldn't help but laugh at the guy. He looked like the type of person that could give you an hour long lecture about Lord of the Rings followed by another about Star Wars. But that's not what made me laugh. What cracked me up was the way his face resembled that of….a fish?

This is what happens when I get sleep-deprived. I'll notice something that would normally not even get a chuckle and find it hilarious.

"I'm Kaito Yuu," he stated in a bored tone while re-adjusting his thick glasses.

"Yes, Fish-boy, I can see that." I got out in between laughs.

"I take it you just broke out of the asylum one town over?" Kaito said with a raised eyebrow, clearly not getting it.

Geez, you'd think that somebody that got into Meiou would notice if one of their parent's were part-fish. Were all the upperclassmen this stuffy?

"I'm still waiting on my School Guide," I explained. "Please tell me you're not him."

"Well, you'll be waiting a little longer then," the Fish snorted. "I'm just supervising."

I threw a quick prayer of appreciation up heavenward. Who in their right mind would want to be shown around Meiou by some nerd that had the sense of humor of a dead fish? I wanted a cute girl, dammit!

"I believe this is my assigned transfer student?" Someone behind me asked.

…..Okay. I could settle for a cute guy instead.

I took one look at my "School Guide" and blinked. Red hair and green eyes? Was this guy even Japanese? Well, I guess I couldn't talk since my own eyes were blue, but still…

"You speak English?" I said in a horrible English accent as he came over.

"You speak Japanese?" replied the guide with a grin.

Finally, someone here with a sense of humor, bless his heart.

"I'm Minamino Shuiichi," he smiled. "You're Akatsuki Kuroji, correct?"

"Did it hurt?" I asked him seriously.

"Did what hurt?" Shuiichi asked, confused.

"When you fell out of heaven," I finished with a smirk before turning to the confused Fish-boy. "Make sure you write that down, you might actually be able to use it someday after spiking someone's drink."

Kaito's brain managed to register that he'd been insulted during his shock that people actually still used that cheap pick-up line. He scowled at me and stomped off. Shuiichi just laughed.

"So where did you transfer from?"

"Well, depending on the season, I'd have to say either the Sahara or Siberia."

"I see…Kyoto, then?"

"Right-o."

"It must be hard, leaving your old city behind," he said with real sympathy.

"Nah, I'm getting used to it," I replied. "The food's pretty good, here."

He laughed again.

I guarantee you, that's one of the first things you'll notice about Shuiichi. After you're done drooling over his long red hair and elegant eyes, you'll notice that he's actually talking to you. If you haven't fainted in bliss by then, you probably will when you hear the sound of his voice.

What really got me was his accent. It's not totally obvious, but when I'd listen closely I could hear some kind of faint accent under his pronounced and articulate "Tokyo-ese." What I couldn't figure out is why it sounded so familiar. Be damned if I could place it though. Maybe he was from a different part of Japan or something.

"We can start with a tour of the building, tour of the campus grounds, or get your ID card. Any preference?" asked Shuiichi.

"Where will there be less freshmen?" I answered seriously.

"Already had a traumatic experience?" he smirked.

I remembered all the hyperactive first years running when I came in and then the unfortunate experience of running into Itchweed.

"You could say that…"

"Let's see then, the majority of the freshman groups start out getting their tour of the building and campus before the lunch break," he said.

"Then lead the way to the ID office!" I grinned.

And so he did. I was glad we came when we did too, the wait was only about five minutes until I was a proud, card-bearing Meiou junior. Okay, maybe "proud" was stretching it, it's hard to feel anything but embarrassment when you're forced to wear a maroon uniform to school five days a week.

"Hey, Shuiichi?" I said, not even bothering with formality.

"Yes?"

"How the _hell_ do you guys put up with these uniforms?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next we started on the grand Tour de Meiou. Only I got the special No Freshmen Tour. Basically, Shuiichi took me to the fourth floor (this school is effin' HUGE) and we worked backwards. Turns out the freshman tour guides were required to follow a strict schedule, and by starting on the fourth floor, then going to the third, skipping the second and going straight to the first floor, before returning to the second floor, we could almost completely avoid the other tour groups. Smart guy, that Shuiichi.

"The fourth floor is mostly advanced placement courses," explained Shuiichi. "Unlike most of the other floors, it doesn't have a major field of study centered here. Although there's a few underclassmen that have AP classes, it's mostly juniors and seniors that have class up here."

"I'll have to remember that when I'm fleeing from Itchweed, then," I laughed.

"Itchweed…?" the redhead replied.

"Oh, just some psycho-bitch freshmen that wants me dead."

"That's…nice."

"Yeah," I shrugged. "I don't think I'm taking too many AP classes though, so I'll have to think of some other clever excuse to come up here."

"Well, not all the AP classes are held here either." Shuiichi said. "Most of the science classes are in the labs on the third floor."

"So what else is there on the fourth floor?" I asked him.

"Not too much…" he mused. "There's a student lounge at the end of the hallway, but every floor has one."

"Fancy."

We continued on to the third floor and visited a few classrooms. Shuiichi was right about all the lab rooms (not that I was expecting him to lie about them). There were at least twenty-five classrooms on the floor and half of them were science rooms.

"This is one of the chemistry rooms," my school guide explained. "Here all the Chem rooms are on the right side of the hallway and all the Bio rooms are on the left."

As to be expected of Meiou, everything here looked state of the art. One section of the room was set up with a whiteboard and a group of desks for classroom discussions and demonstrations, while the other part had long metal tables with lab equipment. I poked one of the Bunsen burners imagining all the chaos I could cause….accidentally, of course. I wondered if they'd let me take another Chem class since I had taken one my sophomore year in Kyoto. A Bunsen burner, a strip of magnesium, and a half-blind geezer for a teacher made for some of my fondest memories in Kyoto. I must have been really zoned out, because Shuiichi had to wave his hand in front of my face to get my attention.

"Let's go look at the other classrooms, shall we?"

If the Chem labs weren't enough to amaze me, the Bio labs definitely were.

"They let you keep snakes?!" I practically squealed. "That is the coolest thing ever!"

I tapped the glass of a cobra's cage. It uncoiled itself and blinked at me.

"Yes, one of the teachers owns an animal rescue shelter and always brings them in for the animal behaviors chapter," explained Shuiichi.

But I barely heard him. I was way too caught up in plotting how to best use these animals in my evil little schemes. Upon further inspection, I also discovered that they kept rats, mice, crickets, fish, frogs, and my personal favorite, the king-sized crab perched on a rock in one of the fish tanks. (Yes, I liked the crab more than the crickets. Just because I'm a _koumori_, doesn't mean I share all their eating habits). Trust me, if you're planning to freak people out at school by setting an animal loose, use the crabs. They're easier to sneak out than snakes and if they're much bigger than your hand, nobody will want to touch them.

I grinned. This crab was bigger than my head.

"Would you like to see what the student lounges look like?" asked Shuiichi with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure," I smiled.

This guy was on to me.

Turns out the lounges here aren't half bad. They all have two couches, two cushioned chairs, and three wooden tables with standard school chairs for group meetings. In the corner was a vending machine and according to my red-haired guide, got great wireless connection. I still can't get over the fact that someplace this big could be totally wireless.

Shuiichi checked his watch and motioned me to the elevator.

"I'm about as eager as you are to get mauled by the freshman groups, so we're going to skip the second floor for now," he said. "We can come back to it after we're done looking at the first floor. That way all the other groups should at least be on the third floor."

I nodded my head. Good looking out, man. I was really grateful that this guy was my guide instead of some bossy little prick that would probably get us lost amongst a swarm of first-years. Shuiichi seemed relatively easy to get along with too. He may prove to be a valuable ally in my stand against the principal and these god-awful uniforms. Yes…first I'd take over Meiou, then this city, then…a bigger city, and then…an even bigger city, and then….the WORLD!!

"…Akatsuki? Are you alright?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my daydream. "What'd you say?"

Shuiichi chuckled a bit.

"Zoning out?" he asked.

"Eheh…sorry," I scratched my head. "Habit."

"I see," he smiled. "You remind me of someone I used to know a long time ago."

I blinked while he tried to stifle another laugh.

But his eyes weren't smiling.

"Let's start off at the main office…"

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Let it be known that the first floor is officially my least favorite of the five. (There's a weight room and indoor track in the basement that was supposed to stay locked up until later in the week). It not only has the main office, the attendance office, the principal's office, the cafeteria, and the main gym. Oh, no, it also has the Art wing, the Music wing, and the Drama wing. It took us forever to get to them all! No wonder we had gotten through two floors in the time it took most of the freshmen tour groups just to get to the second floor.

I could already hear my stomach growling by the time we got to the elusive second floor Library and Language classrooms. The school Library took up a good half the floor (which is saying a lot, given the size of this place) and took quite awhile to get through. I'm pretty sure Shuiichi could tell I was getting hungry, because instead of taking me into all of the different classrooms, he just told me that if I could imagine any language or writing class, I could probably find it on this floor. He then just stuck to showing me the classroom that I would probably have my English class in.

"And….it's lunchtime!" grinned the red-head as he checked his watch again.

"Thank god!" I cheered.

"Oh, it's too bad you feel that way about the tour," he smirked. "The second part starts right after lunch."

"What?!" I shouted. "I don't mind you giving me the tour, but seeing all these classrooms and imagining myself working in them's starting to depress me! I thought you said we were done anywa--"

"I was joking," Shuiichi said simply while walking by me and patting my shoulder.

I blinked. He got me. That little jerk actually got me!

"I am so getting you back for that!" I yelled as I ran to catch up with him, smile on my face.

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We decided to once more avoid the swarm of freshmen all crammed into the cafeteria, and took our lunches outside. Shuiichi showed me his favorite spot to eat lunch in relative peace—a large oak tree on the edges of the school grounds.

It was a good location, I must admit. Hidden enough to keep the fangirls away, yet close enough to the school, so that you can still keep an eye on what was going on. Plus, there was a nice breeze today which helped improve my mood drastically. The two of us opened our lunches and started to eat while talking about Kyoto and Tokyo.

Lunch went okay until a midget fell from the sky.

And I mean this literally.

A small child jumped (?) from the tree Shuiichi and I were sitting by, and immediately started babbling something about missions, baby chipmunks, and idiots.

"Uh, Hiei, I'm kind of in the middle of something right now, would it be possible for me to listen to how you barbequed Kuwabara later?" Shuiichi asked.

The kid snorted a "Who is this, Kitsune?" before glaring at me.

I could already tell we weren't going to see eye to eye on a lot of things. And not just because I was a good two feet taller.

"This is Akatsuki Kuroji, the transfer student that I'm showing around this week," Shuiichi informed him, then turned to me. "Akatsuki, this is Hiei. He's a friend of mine."

The Hiei kid "Hn'd" at this and cast another glare in my direction. What kind of reply was that anyway? I've gotten better responses out of rocks than—holy shit, what was the midget doing?

I could have sworn I saw something glow under his white bandanna. I thought I felt a small burst of _you-ki_ as well. There's no way this brat could be a _youkai_ was there?

"He seems….strange," the kid said. "I don't like him, Kitsune."

"Hiei…" chided Shuiichi.

"Nah, it's cool," I reassured him. "I'm not real fond of tree-rats with dark secrets anyway."

The kid looked startled for a moment, before giving me a deathglare, and vanishing as quickly as he came.

"Damn, he can really move, huh?"

"Yeah," the red-head said with a sigh of relief.

"But what's up with that name that he called you?" I asked. "'Kitsune,' was it?"

"Oh, just a nickname," he smiled with just the slightest sense of unease.

"Good, 'cause that's what I'm gonna call you too," I grinned. "Okay, Kitsune?"

"Uh…"

"Glad we have that settled!" I said biting into an apple (one of the few things that Hazuki couldn't poison, surprisingly). "You sure know some interesting people."

"That's…one way to put it," sweatdropped the redhead.

As we were talking, I noticed that "Kitsune" as I now called him spoke clear Japanese as always, but his accent sounded stronger. Come to think of it, that kid had a similar one too, it was just a little harder to pick up on.

I tried to listen better while my guide spoke. His accent was still there, flowing right over me. It sounded so familiar, but I still couldn't place it. This was going to drive me nuts.

"Oi, Kitsune?" I interjected. "I know you said you're Japanese, but were you born in Tokyo or did you move here from someplace else? Hokkaido, maybe?"

Kistune gave me a strange look.

"No, I was born here."

"Really? Cause you kinda sound like you have an accent or something." I shrugged. "It sorta sounds familiar, but I'm not sure where I heard it before."

Kitsune blinked at me a few times.

"Okay, maybe Hokkaido wasn't the best guess, but I've never been up that far north and have no clue what they sound like."

"Then why do you think it sounds familiar?"

Now I blinked a few times. He had me there.

"Uh…" I oh-so eloquently countered. "Yeah, good point. Sorry, had a dumbass attack there."

We both laughed and continued our lunch until the bell signaling the second half of the day rang. Time for more fun. This time in the form of another boring assembly wherein Principal Gan would tell us about all the upcoming "exciting" and "neat" activities planned for us during the rest of the week. Be still, my heart.

Oh, well. At least I'd get to sit by Kitsune. He probably wouldn't fall asleep on me. Hmm, not that it would be the end of the world if he did…

"Akatsuki? Are you coming?"

I pulled myself out of my thoughts long enough to respond with a "Yeah."

As soon as we got there, I was having second thoughts. They have _got_ to be pumping sleeping gas through that muffled air conditioner of theirs. I had been fine outside, but the second I sat down in one of the cushioned chairs in the Auditorium, I felt my eyelids grow heavy. The last thing I remember was cracking some joke about the Principal's "hair" to Kitsune before falling prey to the evil sleep faeries that I'm sure were dancing above my head.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up to something jabbing me in the ribs. I half-consciously swung my fist around until it connected with something that gave out a loud squawk. Probably that damned lizard again. Doesn't he know by now just to let me sleep? How would he feel if he had to go to some stupid school event and….oh, shit.

I jolted awake with speed that even surprised me.

"Are you awake now, Akatsuki?"

I turned to face my school guide. He was still sitting in his chair. Good, maybe I hadn't been asleep for very long.

"What was that for, you monster?" cried another voice from the other side of me. This one did not sound happy.

I hesitantly faced it. Turns out it was Kaito, doubled over, clutching his face to stop a nosebleed. He was also glaring at me for some reason.

"What's up with you, Fish-boy?" I asked in a cheerful tone. "I'm flattered that I can even give uptight guys like you dirty thoughts, but I just can't return your feelings."

Kaito's glare increased tenfold.

"It would never have worked out between us anyway," I continued.

Steam seemed to come out of the nerd's ears.

"I might have considered ya, if you looked more like Kitsune or one of the chicks off of Japan's Next Top Model, but….the way you bear a strange resemblance to the sushi I had for lunch…."

Had I been paying better attention to Kaito, I would have heard something snap.

"I just don't think I could bear looking at you, much less date you," I laughed. "Especially with the way your veins keep pulsing like that….Is that normal?"

"SHUT UP!!"

The entire auditorium fell silent, or at least the twenty-five or so students waiting in line to leave fell silent. How long was I out? Freshmen glanced at Kaito then up at their shocked guides. The look on their faces screamed "Holy Crap, The Nerd Finally Snapped!" Thankfully there were hardly any teachers present. Not that it would have mattered—they were frozen in place too.

"Damn, Fishy. Spazz out much?"

"SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!!" he screamed back.

"Kaito, calm down," Kitsune interrupted, stepping between us. "This is not the place to start a fight."

"You saw what he did to me Shuiichi!" Kaito continued to scream, but in a quieter tone. "He's done nothing but insult me since he got here!"

Then it hit me. Fish-boy had _rei-ki_. _Rei-ki_ that he had very little control of at the moment.

"If you create a scene here, you'll drag those bystanders into your little argument," the tall redhead said coldly. "You know well enough that I won't allow that."

Damn…Kitsune was freaking scary! I could have sworn I saw his eyes go gold for a second. Crazy how this Kitsune reminded me of another kitsune (and his damned deathplants) I had the pleasure of fleeing from whenever I pissed him off.

Well, apparently I wasn't the only one that thought so. Kaito backed off quite a bit and fidgeted under the redhead's gaze. His _rei-ki _diminished at the same time that I could feel some kind of pressure surround the three of us. It sent a chill down my spine. Could it be _you-ki_?

I didn't have time to track down who the hell was sending it out, because the bleeding Fish-boy stubbornly brushed past me and stormed out the doorway. Everyone followed him with their eyes and then I felt thier line of vision return to us.

"What's his problem?" I scowled.

"Well, you fell asleep during the announcements, and--"

"Crap!" I cursed. "I didn't snore or anything did I?"

"No, you didn't," Kitsune chuckled, seeming a lot less homicidal than he was twelve seconds ago. "I'm just grateful you didn't drool on my shoulder."

"I…I fell asleep on…your shoulder?" I stuttered, absently pointing to his shoulder.

At Kitsune's nod, I about died. That was not the plan. Why doesn't the world ever swallow you up when you really need it to? 'Cause this was definitely one of these times!

"Relax, the only one that really took notice was Kaito. He was trying to wake you up," he chuckled. "That is, until you punched him in the face."

"Oh," I sweatdropped. "So that was his problem."

We walked out after the last of the spectators.

"So…where to now?" I inquired.

"Home," Kitsune answered simply. "You missed Principal Gan dismissing us all during your nap."

"I was really out, huh?" I scratched my head.

"I'll see you tomorrow," waved my School Guide as he left through the school gates….only to be followed by a horde of giggling fangirls. Poor guy.

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"I'm home!" I shouted as I walked through the door and kicked off my shoes.

"Welcome home, Aniki!" Hana called from the kitchen.

"Is Mom, still at work?" I asked, walking through the doorway.

"Yep," nodded my little sister. "But she said she'd be back in time for dinner!"

"God help us," I muttered.

"You're just cranky because you had to get up early and go to school," laughed Hiro. "Nice uniform, by the way."

I turned to glare at my little brother at the counter. Just sitting there with his apple juice and his messy hair and his…his pajama pants?

"How long have you been up, you little bastard?!"

Hiro checked the wall clock with a grin.

"Well, let's see…it's almost four now, so…three hours?" he laughed.

If jealousy was tangible, I'd have a fucking Behemoth behind me right now.

"You suck," I growled, plopping down next to him.

Hana gave me a glass of juice out of pity.

"Oh, Hana!" I proclaimed. "You're the only sibling I like!"

"Flattery will get you nowhe—Ah! Iro!"

Out of absolutely nowhere the lizard came flying at my juice like he hadn't been fed all day. Did Hana forget to give him any human skulls to munch on? The stupid lizard then proceeded to lap up the spilled apple juice until there wasn't a drop left.

"Screw this!" I said, standing up. "I'm gonna go take a nap!"

I jogged up the stairs, the last sounds of Hana lecturing the Devilspawn fading once I got to the top.

Opening the door with my foot, I dropped my bookbag to the floor, and ripped off my uniform. I kicked it a few times for good measure. Stupid thing. Stupid maroon, self-esteem crushing thing. Grrr…Okay. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts…How about a little self-reflection?

The uniform will leave psychological scars that will only be healed with intense psychotherapy and a shredder. School food provides an excellent selection and much lower ammonia count than Hazuki food. Classes sound worse than Chinese torture methods. I have to get up early for this crap. Kitsune seems cool and will be there too. I have the makings of a ego-boosting group of cute fangirls forming, but Itchweed will probably try to disband them. Actually Itchweed will prove to be a problem of her own, but she, Fish-face, and that one teacher that looked at me wrong will be dealt with in time…heheheh. No, I don't hold grudges at _all_.

Overall it was a good day. School sucks and the uniforms are demeaning, but the food's good and the school guide is hot.

I sat down on my bed and fell against my pillows. It wasn't until I had closed my eyes and replayed the events in my head that I even realized Shuiichi had a Makaain accent.

----------------------------------------- END: Chap. 2

**::A/N::**

Neko: Oh…my…god…was that ever long! My brain hurts. _(bashes head into desk)_

Kuro: Quit whining. _(points to text)_ You made me sound like a dumbass!

Neko: I call 'em, like I see 'em, Kuro-muu. And at three in the morning, you should be grateful you're even speaking in sentences.

Kuro: _(crosses arms)_ How could I _not _figure out that Kitsune is Kurama? It's totally obvious, Cat!

Neko: Shut up, you'll figure it out really soon in the fic anyway.

Kuro: Sure, if you get off your ass soon enough to update.

Neko: _(sticks tongue out)_

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it.

**Kuro** (Jap.) "Black."

**Kuroji **(Jap.) "Being in the black."

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Akatsuki** (Jap.) "Daybreak" OR "Red Moon" (Thanks to Sora Sorato for pointing out the latter)

**Aniki** (Jap.) "Big Brother." This is one of the informal ways to say it.

**-nii** (Jap.) "Big Brother" Another informal way to say it.

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**You-ki **(Jap.) "Demon-Energy"

**Rei-ki** (Jap.) "Spirit-Energy"

**Ki** (Jap.) "Energy"

**Oi** (Jap.) "Hey"

**Ichiwassou** (Jap.) Two words I put together. The "Ichi" means "One" or "First" and the "Wassou" means "Weed". I know that this isn't Maaya's real last name (It's Yamada I think), but I grew fond of calling her "Itchweed" ("Ichi" kinda sounds like "Itch").

**Yuu** (Chi.) "Fish" among other things.

**Gan** (Jap.) "Cancer" OR "Wild Goose" OR "Gun". The principal's name would be written with the character for "cancer," (as in the illness) but all possibilities amuse me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Er…yeah. Kuro came out a little more bi-curious than I intended. This is what happens when I forget to have Kyr edit my shit. Whoops.

Kuro: "Whoops?" My sexual orientation is in question here and all you can say is "Whoops?!"

Neko: Hee. Ok, let me clear it up then. **This fic will NOT be Kurama/Kuronue or Kuronue/Kurama.** I'm writing them as good friends, nothing more. (I guess my Kuronue voice sometimes becomes my Neko voice.) The only couples that I have planned for this story are the YYH series' cannon couples (i.e. Yusuke/Keiko, Kuwabara/Yukina, etc.) Should I change any of that, I'll have it posted before the chapter begins. I'm not promising much romance here though; some fluff maybe, but no serious relationship issues.

Kuro: Wait…so you don't even know who the hell you're pairing me with yet?

Neko: Yeah, I guess I'll have to eventually. Or change the warning from "flirty bats" to "sexually-frustrated bats."

Kuro: That's not funny.

Neko: _(shrugs)_ Meh. Thanks for all the support from the last chapter, people! The constructive criticism was much appreciated.

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Ever have those dreams, where they seem so real that you can actually _feel_ the impact of falling off a cliff, or the fire burning you to a crisp, or the final exam turning your brain into mush?

Well, I hadn't.

Never before has a dream gotten to me so badly that I would actually wake up with my skin crawling or feel any sense of pain. Even when I had nightmares about the last few moments of my previous life, I would jolt awake covered in sweat and possibly be a little short of breath, but nothing beyond that.

After every bad dream, I would wake up, realize that it wasn't real, and usually fall back asleep. Half the time I would forget about them anyway.

But not today.

No, today I would stay in that happy medium of being half-conscious and half-asleep with the last bits of my dream fading away. I can barely even remember it, (something about robbing Wal-Mart with a toothpick and a monster truck) but I could feel a weight on my chest.

Something seemed to slither its way up to my neck while my mind faded to darkness. Its grip started to tighten which made breathing harder. At first I thought I was somehow injured or sick when I heard a hissing sound. It was filled with pure malice and whatever it was coming from wanted me dead.

I think I struggled a little in my sleepy state, but the icy grasp on my neck didn't ease up at all. It reminded me of the grave somehow. Maybe because it smelled like death. The second that thought went through my mind, I snapped awake.

Iro flew off of me and onto the floor.

"YOU CRAZY-ASS LIZARD!!!" I screamed. "It is WAY too early in the fucking morning for you to try and KILL ME!!!"

After that lovely encounter I took a shower and got dressed. Once again, the Meiou uniform gave me the urge to gouge my eyes out. The sick person that designed it _had_ to be colorblind….or sadistic. Pushing that thought out of my head, I headed downstairs. As much as the designer deserved to be hacked and slashed, I wasn't so sure I wanted to meet them after all.

"You know, Kuroji," Hazuki mused. "That uniform looks less and less horrifying the more I see it."

"Yes," I replied sarcastically. "I look absolutely precious."

Hazuki just laughed and returned her attention to the concoction on the stove.

"Mom, this is the second day you made me breakfast," I said seriously. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Do you want pancakes or not?"

I shrugged. I already looked Death on in the eyes once this morning. Why not go for two?

"I'll try one…"

A few bites later my stomach reminded me that it could only handle so many toxic chemicals. I weakly put a hand over it.

"What the hell is IN this stuff?!"

"I think his name was Eric."

Time to go.

"Kuroji-chaaaan! You can't leave without breakfast!" called out my human mother. "You need to get some food in it or you won't feel well!"

"Too late for that!" I called back.

I was halfway out the door and on my way to the bus stop.

"Have a nice daaaaaay!"

"Whatever, Mom."

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I found myself at the front gates of Meiou once more. Younger students were swarming into groups and chatting away. A couple upperclassmen were running around frantically trying to locate everyone they showed around yesterday while some teachers angrily scribbled notes onto their clipboards with disapproving looks. All in all, it was chaos. Maroon-colored chaos.

Now where was I supposed to meet Kitsune? Oh, well. I'd best follow the two upperclassmen girls to my right around until I found him. Yes, that was definitely the best course of action. Or at least the best looking.

"Excuse me, my beautiful senpai," I grinned as I walked up behind them. "I seem to be lost, would you mind taking care of me?"

I earned a giggle and a blush from both. My day was rapidly improving.

"Um, what's your name and ID number?" asked the taller of the two.

"My name is Akatsuki Kuronue," I smiled. "but I seem to have lost my ID card….maybe I should just stick around you two lovely ladies all day?"

"I know where you're supposed to go," growled a voice from behind me. "Follow me."

Dammit! I almost got those two as my personal guides for the day! What kind of asshole was trying to wreck it for me? I turned around. The Fish, of course.

"Heeeey, don't I know you from….beating the crap outta you? How's that nose?"

I got a less than savory response as the nerd snarled and readjusted his glasses. "And it's Yuu-san, to you."

"Pft. Whatever. Who pissed in your Cheerios today, anyway?" I replied.

"His name is Akatsuki Kuroji, perhaps you know him?" Fish-boy said sarcastically while he tugged on my sleeve to lead me away from the female upperclassmen. "I really dislike guys like you, Akatsuki."

I promptly ignored him and waved goodbye to the two girls.

"You'd fall for any pretty girl that can walk and talk."

"She doesn't have to talk…"

"People like you are the worst," he snorted.

The Fish eventually led me over to the fountain area where Kitsune was waiting and talking to a group of four girls. And three out of four of them were cute, the lucky guy!

"Oh, Minamino-senpai! You're so….so smart!"

"I didn't know that they were giving away prizes in the school lobby!"

Ooo-kay, maybe not. These chickies didn't giggle, they cackled. And I'd bet their combined IQ barely made double digits.

"I want to win prizes, too!" cheered one of the other girls cornering the redhead. "I can't believe they didn't announce that they're giving away prizes!"

"That's because they're not yet," stated a fifth girl as she walked over to them. "Minamino was just trying to tactfully get rid of you four fools."

Are all of the upperclassmen here cranky bastards here or something? I noticed the girls flocking around Kitsune glare at her. Way to piss off the moe-hyped freshmen, lady.

"Can I help you with something, Yugasa-senpai?" Kitsune asked neutrally.

"I was just making rounds to see if everybody found their guides," the uptight girl stated. "You didn't get stuck with one of these brats as your transfer student, did you?"

"You! What'd you say…Yugasa Ayame?!" shrieked one girl as she squinted to read the taller girl's nametag.

"You can't talk to us that way, you geeky little—"

"No, I was assigned to guide a third-year male," interrupted Kitsune again to prevent another cat-fight. And I thought youkai women had bad tempers.

The upperclassmen girl had brought the wrath of the freshmen girlies on herself, but it was Kitsune that was now caught in the middle. I couldn't help but feel a little bad for him, so I decided to jump in before the girls bared their claws.

"Kitsune!" I shouted and ran over to them.

"Eh? Oh, hello, Akatsuki," he greeted me.

"I told ya to call me 'Kuroji!'" I corrected him, poking his head. "Ku-ro-ji!"

"Kuroji," amended the redhead with a sweatdrop.

"You girls can feel free to call me 'Kuroji' as well!" I grinned.

The taller girl identified as Ayame frowned. The other four girls smiled in adoration, possibly confusion. Tough call.

"Did you just call Minamino-senpai….Kitsune?" one asked.

"Doesn't it suit him? Kitsune here's smart, crafty, and mysterious….just like the kitsune in legends." I replied, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

"Wow, Kuroji! You sure know a lot about foxes!" another exclaimed.

"Surprising, considering the only thing he seemed to know about was hitting on girls since he came here," Fish-boy spat, joining our little group.

"Yeah…I, uh, had a pet fox when I was younger," I lied, ignoring him. I had to stifle my laughter at my mental image of Youko crouching by a doghouse with a collar and red food dish reading: 'Rama.

"Did you now? In Kyoto?" Kitsune inquired with a guarded smile. "That's a little unusual."

"He was a little ball of fluff! What can I say?"

"Aww! Do you have a picture of him?"

"How'd you find him?"

"Did you name him?"

The original group of freshmen that had surrounded Kistune dished out the rapid-fire questions. I had to think quick to make up a history for my made-up pet.

"I don't have any pictures on me, but his name was…'Rama."

My redhaired guide started to cough violently.

"Something wrong?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Was the name _that_ weird?

"N-No, not at all! Please continue your story," he urged me on.

I shrugged and went on.

"I was walking through the woods one day when I heard some kind of whimpering noise. So, I followed it to a small clearing. There was a huge black dog ganging up on this little injured fox kit. I felt bad for the little guy so I chased the dog off and carried the little kitsune home. I nursed him back to health and released him back into the forest before I moved here."

"Aww! You're such a nice guy, Kuroji!"

"Yeah right…" muttered the Fish.

"It must have been so hard to leave him behind!"

"Yeah, he was a cute little fluffball."

"Ooh! You'll have to bring pictures to show us someday!" giggled another.

"Exactly what do you think this is, Show and Tell?" snapped Ayame. "Stop bothering your upperclassmen and go find your own guides."

She stuck around only long enough to make sure the other four girls had left. The Fish angrily stomped off shortly after.

"Cheery group, aren't they?" I said sarcastically.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Not too long after, an announcement told us to find our groups and proceed to auditorium once more. Kitsune led the way and we ended up sitting somewhere towards the back again. This time, I promised myself not to fall asleep again despite the early hour and the principal's monotone voice. This time I had other stuff to think about….and before anyone says "Girls?" I'll have you know that close-minded stereotypical thoughts like that are offensive and just plain rude.

The fairer sex only takes up 40 percent of my thoughts, the other 60 percent being divided between "shiny stuff," "mysterious stuff," and "pranks." You can probably figure out which of the three gets more attention. Personally, I blame Youko for his bad influence on me. I'm just a victim here.

….You can stop laughing now.

As soon as Principal Gan opened his mouth and sound came out, I tuned out. Pity I left my iPod at home. I put on my best 'attentive' face and tried to figure out the answer to the question that had been bugging me since yesterday---Exactly why the hell did Kitsune have a Makaain accent?

Talking in demon dialect isn't exactly something a normal ningen can do. It's…tricky. Hell, it's uncommon even for humans that actually encountered youkai. Plus, the slight accent Kitsune had was _old_. Modern Makai-dwellers didn't even use it. He'd have to be youkai himself or spend a lot of time hanging around demons. I didn't know him well enough to even take a stab at which possibility was more likely. Ugh…I hate it when my questions go in circles.

Fortunately, I had plenty of time to think of a plan; Principal Gan wasn't shutting up anytime soon. Somehow, I'd have to find out more about Kitsune and either get him to tell me if he has connections to Makai or get somebody close to him to fess up. I smiled to myself. At least I wouldn't be bored.

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I can't really remember the ending of Gan's forty-five minute long lecture on…stuff. I had finished my plotting about twenty minutes in and spent the rest of the time eying the fancy gold-plated sculpture above him bearing the school emblem. Doubt anyone would _really_ miss it that much…

"Ready to go, Aka-, er, Kuroji?" asked Kitsune.

"Sure! Where too?" I inquired, all too eager to escape the aud.

"You really do like to daydream, don't you?" he chuckled. "I wondered why you didn't react at all when Principal Gan mentioned the Welcome Week "Fun & Games" portion of the day."

"Y-You're not serious, are you?" I paled.

Joining another group of crazy freshmen and/or transfer students in a round of sadistic Getting To Know You Games did not sound like a good way to ease into high school. More like a good way to ease into the loony bin.

I glanced around. Groups had already formed organized sets of circles and began throwing string at each other or informing their "new friends" of their name, age, and favorite thing they did over the summer. Cutting edge greeting games, I'm sure.

"Octopus!"

"Elephant!"

"Russian Dwarf Hamster!"

…_.The hell? _

"That's one of the 'Building Connections through Charades' games the Freshman guides had to learn," Kitsune explained, following my line of vision. "That's also one of the reasons I volunteered to help with the transfer student section."

"Uh-huh," I nervously answered, eying his bag. Why hadn't I noticed it until now? Who knows what kind of evil supplies the school had provided him with in order to help torture innocent high school students with games that would make put a grade schooler to sleep in five seconds flat.

I guess the all-knowing guide realized that I had been staring at his backpack like it would bring forth the apocalypse, because he opened the top flap to reveal a laptop.

"Unfortunately I forgot my ball of yarn, so how about we skip to registering you for class?" he smirked.

I glomped his arm, turned on the sparkles, and flashed my best set of puppy eyes.

"You are the best school guide, _ever_."

When I overthrow the Principal and the rest of the evil teachers, I'll have to make him my second-in-command or something.

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"Introduction to Quantum Physics? AP Biomechanics? Dipole Radiation and You?! What the hell is this crap?!" I exclaimed at the long list of science courses.

"Not your thing, apparently," Kitsune answered. "Try looking at this part of the list."

With a few clicks, he highlighted the portion of the courses I could actually pronounce.

"Ohhhh…I'm looking at _Science_ classes."

We were currently sitting outside in one of the outdoor lounges figuring out my class schedule on the redhead's laptop. (Just how huge is the wireless connection here, anyway?) We could have gone to one of the computer labs, but Kitsune said they'd be filled up for awhile and it'd be less hectic to create my schedule somewhere else. Always thinking, that Kitsune.

"Hmm, I'm not sure where to begin…"

"What Science courses did you complete in Kyoto?"

"Uh, lemme see…Physical Science and…Chem," I scratched my head. "So that means I have to take Bio next?"

"Yep."

"Great," I groaned. "Which one are you taking?"

"I already finished my regular Science courses last year, so I could move onto Social Sciences this year."

"Seriously?" I asked, stunned. "Taking Chem and Bio at the same time? That's nuts!"

"Eh, it was okay," he shrugged. "Biology's my best subject and I'm a Teacher's Assistant in this course."

He pointed to a class called Environmental Biology taught by a Sumire Yugasa. Yugasa? Isn't that…

"She's Yugasa Ayame's aunt and runs that animal rescue shelter I told you about yesterday. Yugasa-sensei's pretty well-liked among most of the students too," explained Kitsune.

"Cool. I'll take that one then." I said and clicked on the little 'Add to Classes' icon. "Now we'll have a class together. What's next?"

"You're enrolled in all the basic courses, so you can take two electives of your choice," the redhead replied. "Are there any areas of interest to you?"

"Got anything violent?"

"Not really. What about Football?"

"I don't really do well with the whole teamwork factor."

"Kendo?"

"Nah, not into swords…"

"Karate?"

"Now you're talking!"

"Ok, let me bring that up for you…" Kitsune said, taking the laptop back and entering a new search item. In seconds he had a list of all the karate courses taught here. "Yukio-sensei teaches Goju-ryu karate and Shohei-sensei teaches Shotokan-ryu karate."

"How do you know all that?"

"I'm currently enrolled in Shohei-sensei's class, but I've taken a class with Yukio-sensei as well."

"Whoa, Kitsune. Got a violence fetish after all?" I laughed.

"No," he smiled back. "It helps me with my self-discipline."

"Interesting. Which teacher did you say you have again?"

"Shohei-sensei."

"Then I'll take that class too."

"You can't."

"Why not? I promise I'll go easy on you."

"It's already filled."

"Huh?"

Sure enough, Shohei-sensei's class was already filled with seniors and a few juniors. Kitsune later told me that senior's got priority on most of the classes and that underclassmen could only take the same class if there were available spots left. Unfair, much? I ended up taking Yukio-sensei's class because it was at least at the same time as Kitsune's and he said that sometimes the classes get combined to spar.

After I got that sorted out, I took an easy art class on whim, had Kitsune look over my schedule and print it out. It took a lot longer than I thought it would because it was already time for lunch by the time we picked up the printed copy from one of the computer labs (Kitsune wasn't kidding, the place was _packed_.)

I took up Red's offer to eat lunch by the same tree we did yesterday. As a precaution, I glanced up into its branches in search of tree-climbing midgets out to get me.

"Oi, Tree-rat!" I called up. "If you're up there, do me a favor and _stay_ there!"

Once again, lunch went by okay, overall. Except for when my chopsticks spontaneously combusted. Right. I'm not quite sure what was stranger—the fact that they caught fire or the ease that Kitsune put them out with. It was almost like he was totally used to it. Maybe he's secretly a closet-pyromaniac. Ooh, the mystery deepens.

"Hey, Kitsune! Do you know anything about a 'Makai?'" I asked innocently. Or at least as innocently as I could manage. I swear I pulled off sparkles, though.

"What's that? A new video game?" his response was just as sparkly as my question.

Damn he's good…There goes the asking him directly strategy.

---------------------------------------------------------------

After lunch, we didn't have to do much. Just show up for one final announcement of the day made by Gan, and what should have been a ten minute reminder ended up being a thirty minute seminar.

This time I actually managed to catch most of it. Turns out the fun doesn't stop at cheap elementary school knockoff games. Oh, no. Tomorrow we get to meet the thrilling staff of educators that will guide us down the path of success. And that's a direct quote from the G-man himself. I can't bloody wait.

"We'll see you students tomorrow, enjoy the rest of your afternoon," Gan concluded weakly. "Please remember that drugs are bad for you. Don't give into peer pressure, and--"

He was stopped by another teacher before he could launch into yet another lecture. Thank god.

"I thought he'd never shut up…" I yawned.

"Indeed," the redhead agreed. "Principal Gan has a tendency to get off topic, doesn't he?"

"Forget world, the guy's in his own little galaxy up there!" I complained.

"Well, we'd best be off," laughed Kitsune. "I think the natives are getting restless."

"Eh?"

Finally I noticed. Swarms of giggly girls were making their way towards us slowly, but surely. Normally, I wouldn't mind, but these chickies looked like they were out for blood and/or prettyboy prey by the way they kept swaying in a synchronized action. In fact, they moved like one huge sailor-suited mass of red. I started to feel like a rabbit.

"Are their eyes supposed to be glowing like that?"

"Just act natural until we get outside…" my fellow rabbit whispered.

"Then what?" I asked.

"We make a run for it."

First Iro tries to suffocate me in my sleep, then my dear mother tries to poison me, now I'm being followed by a horde of hormonally-charged girls. How many near-death experiences am I supposed to have in one day? I think I hit my quota for the week.

We reached the doors. Kitsune told me to run, and by the gods I hauled ass. I was a little worried about him falling behind though. I used to be a youkai, so my speed was still pretty impressive if I do say so myself. Nothing like it used to be, of course, but I could probably break the three minute mile if I put any effort in it. Kitsune though….he looked like he was in decent shape, but I still was a little concerned about him keeping up with a former Makaiin thief like me.

That lasted about four seconds.

Not only did Kitsune keep up with me, he set the flipping _pace_. Kitsune even poll-vaulted over the six foot fence like it was only six inches high! How…the…hell…? He speaks ancient Makaiin dialects, he's around when I sense powerful youki, and he runs like the fucking wind. This guy has _got_ to be a Hanyou at least.

As soon as I heard the squeals, I pushed those thoughts out of my head and focused on running for my life. The voices of the psycho fangirls sounded kinda distant, but I wasn't about to check. It wasn't until we were at least two blocks away from school that we even stopped running.

"Damn, Kitsune!" I laughed and pretended to wipe the nonexistent sweat off my forehead. "You didn't tell me you were in the Olympics!"

"Oh…I just get a lot of practice," he grinned. "You get used to it after three years."

"Great, more fun to look forward to." I said sarcastically. "You seriously do this everyday?"

"Only during nicer weather," he shrugged. "Snow kind of discourages them."

"Ha, Tokyo girls…"

I couldn't tell if he was just kidding or dead serious. Kitsune's grin is a little hard to read. After another minute or so we said our goodbyes and parted ways. Somehow I get the feeling that my new high school was going to be a lot more exhausting than I had previously thought.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm home!" I called out once I got back.

"Welcome home, Sweetie!" came a feminine voice from the living room.

I set my bag down and walked in. My human mother and sister were both plopped on the couch watching some afternoon talk show on TV.

"Hi, Aniki!" greeted the little sister.

"How was High School?" Hazuki asked with one of those motherly grins. The kind they use when they know your day has been hell, and feel like rubbing it in while sounding sweet and innocent.

"Meiou's….good."

"Okay, one more time with even _less_ feeling."

"Where's the brat?" I asked, changing the subject. "He'd better not still be sleeping."

"Oh, Hiro-chan went to play baseball with some of the neighborhood kids," said the happy mother. "They had seen us move in the other day and came over to ask him to go."

"Whoa, since when has he been such a sociable guy?" I asked in surprise.

Despite being the more outgoing of the two, Hiro's always had more trouble making friends than timid little Hana. Mom says it's his attitude, I say it's his face.

"Can you two ever go one day without bickering?" she laughed. "You don't even have to be in the same room to whine about each other!"

"I don't whine!" I protested. "I just tell it like it is—Hiro's a twerp."

"Ooh, is somebody jealous of the "twerp?" smirked my mother. "What? Is Mr. Charming Persona not a hit in the big city?"

"Oh, I'm definitely a hit, here," I argued. "I even got chased by a mob of screaming fangirls halfway to the bus stop."

"Really? Your student guide must be really cute!" she giggled.

"What kind of supportive parental unit are you?" I sniffled with a fake sob and jumped over the couch to land next to Hana. "That's no way to talk to your poor, young, impressionable son! Just think of my self esteem!"

"If your self esteem could be converted into electricity, you'd have enough to power all of Tokyo for the rest of the month."

"Yeah, yeah…" I turned to the TV. "What are you two watching? It looks girly."

"It's _Nokoru-sama_!" Hana exclaimed excitedly. "He's super-famous right now!"

"It looks girly."

"Don't get too comfy, I need you to return that casserole dish to Mrs. Kuwabara next door," Hazuki smirked evilly.

"You have got to be kidding."

"Nope. I've got to build up my young, impressionable son's fractured self esteem somehow, don't I?"

Grumbling, I got up and grabbed the now-clean dish belonging to the Orange Beast.

"I hope you washed this thing with Holy Water."

"Just remember…It was delicious," laughed Hazuki.

I mumbled a prayer to whatever deity happened to be passing by and shut the door.

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 3**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Finally another chapter up. Do me a favor and figure out "Kitsune" is "Kurama" soon, Kuro-muu. I kept typing "Kurama" instead of "Kitsune."

Kuro: You're the one writing this, idiot.

Neko: Oh. Right. Speaking of writing, it was beyond creepy to type "Mrs. Kuwabara" _(shudder)_ Kyrie - thanks for editing! Everyone else -Thanks for reading!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**-chan** (Jap.) "Little" Honorific used to express endearment. Usually used for girls, children, pets, or to show childish cuteness.

**Senpai** (Jap.) "Upperclassman"

**Yuu** (Chi.) "Fish" among other things.

**Moe** (Jap.) An affection for or an attraction to certain types of anime/manga characters.

**Ayame** (Jap.) "Iris"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Kitsune **(Jap.) "Fox"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Shohei** (Jap.) Shohei "Soar" and "Calm"

**Yukio** (Jap.) "Gets what he wants"

**-Sensei** (Jap.) "Teacher"

**Hanyou** (Jap.) "Halfbreed"

**Nokoru** (Jap.) A popular Clamp Character and old reference to an interview fic I wrote a long time ago. Can't quite remember the meaning of his name. All you really need to know about him for _Anem_ is that he's a self-proclaimed feminist and lady's man. He's also pretty. Don't worry, only his TV incarnate appears here.

**Aniki** (Jap.) "Big Brother." This is one of the informal ways to say it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Holy flaming possums, Batman! That's a lot of reviews and alert stuff!

Kuro: Is that supposed to be some kind of….pun?

Neko: Maybe. Thanks for all the support guys!

Kuro: I still can't believe there's someone out there that actually _likes_ that damned lizard…

Neko: Chameleon.

Kuro: Whatever.

Neko: Oh, and while I'm thinking of it, yes, Hiei was the one that made Kuro-muu's chopsticks go 'splody. The two reactions I'm looking forward to writing the most are Kuronue and Kurama's as well as Kuronue and Hiei's. _(insert evil laughter here)_

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After a long day of boring speeches, unanswered questions, and exploding chopsticks at school, you'd think a guy could be cut a little slack and maybe catch a nap at his house, right? I mean, what kind of parent would send their son to school to be tortured for a couple hours then force them off on an errand to return dishware to the carroty monster that lurked within their neighbor's house?

I shook my head. Hazuki could've at least let me change out of my hideous school uniform. With any luck, the Meiou maroon would blind the demonic beast inhabiting my neighbor's home long enough for me to ditch the pot and run.

Wishful thinking, I know.

You see that's another theory of mine. That somewhere hidden in the dark and possibly slimy basement of 215 Tanuki Drive, the _real_ Kuwabaras were tied up and being held prisoner by Orange Beast, her evil poodle, and hellspawn. Somewhere in that dungeon the real Kuwabara family was trying to survive on rats and roaches in hope that they would be rescued and the imposters exposed. Not that this explained the normal-looking Shizuru. Maybe they let one of the real Kuwabaras free so no one would get suspicious.

Hope she answers the door. Or better yet, I hope nobody's home at all. Then all I gotta do is leave this pot on the doorstep. Mission accomplished.

"Let go of me, gorilla! I'm gonna bash your face in with my bat!"

"OWW!! That _hurt_, you little brat! Hold still already, I'm missing _Nokoru-sama_ for this!"

Why can't anything ever be easy?

I started running over towards the back of Orange Beast's house where I heard the voices. One of them was definitely Hiro's and the other was probably the idiot son that lived there. Great.

"What the hell is your problem? You're one of those child molesters aren't you! Go away and take your sick hobby with ya!"

"Shut up! I am not! You don't sense right and I wanna know why—ack!"

That 'ack' was my doing. In the time it took my little brother to scream his head off at Orange Beast's kid, I had run up behind them, jumped the fence, ricocheted off the house, and delivered a high kick to his fat head. During his one way trip into the fence he had let go of Hiro, and I stepped between them.

"Take off, perv!" I yelled. "Or I introduce you to the brick wall next!"

"What in the—?" Carrot-top screamed right back. "Who do you think you are barging into a man's property and kicking him like a crazy person?"

"Who the hell do you think you are kidnapping a guy's little brother like a child molester? They should castrate bastards like you!" came my response.

Mentally I was calculating this guy's strength. That kick should have kept any normal human down for the count. Maybe not unconscious if they were really tough, but a normal ningen wouldn't be getting up any time soon.

And this fucker jumped up like it was nothing.

"You guys are weird! You don't sense right!" he went on. "You can't hide it from the Great Kazuma Kuwabara!"

"What's his damage?" Hiro cringed. "He grabbed me from the bushes and has been going on about that ever since!"

"Just stay behind me…" I said.

Things just had a way of going from bad to worse. I couldn't tell Hiro to run for it because I didn't know what other sorts of surprises the spawn of the devil had in his backyard. Then of course, with Hiro here I couldn't use any of my special attacks because it would put him at risk and involve a lot of explanations later. Not to mention the fact that this Kuwabara guy seemed to have been able to sense youki. Hate to admit it, but he had to be especially good if he could sense my aura on Hiro too.

"Admit it! You guys aren't human at all!" accused Kuwabara. "You're really evil demons sent to destroy the world, aren't you?!"

"Aniki, this guy is _cracked_…we should run…"

"Sorry, Squirt, but I prefer to finish fights I start," I replied, easing myself into a defensive stance. I tensed my muscles and waited for Carrot-top's attack.

Just because I wouldn't be able to use my own youki against a reiki fighter didn't mean I was totally helpless. Besides conditioning my human form throughout the last seventeen years, I also learned a few more tricks that I didn't know in my previous life.

Kuwabara rushed me with an easy to read punch. I dodged easy and slipped off to his unguarded right side. This time it was a strike from my hand that sent him stumbling backwards. He felt the blow before he ever saw it coming.

Confused, but not beaten, Kuwabara charged again. This time I just leapt over him and swept my leg under his feet, bringing him to the ground. On the way down, he tried to land another blow that I blocked with his own damn casserole dish. Almost forgot I had it there for a second. The angry ningen just scowled up at me. I grinned.

Holding a black belt in Wado-ryu karate definitely helped a bit.

I had learned it in this life as Kuroji from Hazuki. She had been a Wadu-ryu student since she was little and made sure to teach Hiro, Hana, and I. At first I was a little reluctant to learn that particular style because I had mistaken it for fancy evasion. What can I say? I was young! ...Or at least Kuroji was.

One of the main differences of Wado-ryu karate and other forms of karate are its blocking techniques. Instead of moving against an incoming attack, a Wado-karate expert will move _with_ the attack. In other words, you move out of your opponent's line of attack and take a position that gives you the advantage. Which is exactly why Kuwabaka couldn't land a single hit on me yet. This was almost too easy.

"Argh! Stupid Demon! It's on, now!" shouted the human boy as he started to summon his reiki into his hand.

Scratch that.

"Spirit--"

"What the hell are you doing, you idiot?!" I yelled, driving my knee into his face to break his concentration.

The last thing I needed now was a Spirit Energy battle with my human brother in the near vicinity. It worked though. The knee thing, I mean. If you ever need to break someone's attention, just shove your kneecap into their face. At least Kuwabara wouldn't have to worry about any more physical deformities.

"We're done, here," I growled, walking back over to my brother and guiding him towards the front yard.

"Wait just a minute, you!" spat the swordsman, scrambling to his feet.

"Almost forgot…" I recalled my whole purpose for coming over.

I chucked the casserole pot at his head.

"….It was delicious."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Needless to say, Hiro and I didn't stick around long. After the metal dish made contact with our neighbor's thick skull, we walked off. My brother, me, and the bat.

Back in the safety of our own home, Hiro tried to explain the details of our little adventure to Hazuki and Hana, but if fell upon deaf ears. _Nokoru-sama_ was on.

After he gave up, Hiro followed me to the kitchen for a drink.

"You really kicked his ass, Kuroji!" he grinned. "Even I was almost impressed!"

"Right…next time try not to look so molestable, twerp."

"Ugh, don't remind me! What was with that guy, anyway?" Hiro asked.

"I guess brain damage runs in the family?"

"I think he's just a pervert."

"I'd rather not ask."

"You should of just snuck up and hit him in the back of the head! That would have K.O.'d him easy!" the twerp informed me. "Or at least that's what I would have done."

"Nah…" I said, finishing my juice. "Not my style."

I got off the stool to put my empty glass in the sink. Hiro lowered his head and fingered his drink.

"Hey, um…"

"What's with you, now?"

"I, er…thanksforhelpingme,Iguess."

"Anytime…" I grinned.

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I had retreated to my room after my odd little bonding moment with Hiro. Who'd of thought that the defeat of a child molester could bring two siblings closer together? I laughed to myself once I _finally_ got to change out of my school uniform.

I pulled my crumpled schedule out of my pocket and looked it over again….for about three seconds. That's how long it took me to decide that I'd had enough 'school' for the day. Then I settled for slumping over my desk and staring at my wall.

My room still seemed a little bare without any of my posters and other belongings up. Because of Meiou's 'Welcome Week' I had only bothered to unpack my clothes, entertainment systems, and video games. I had always planned on setting up the rest of my room, but by the time I got home everyday, I'd be worn out from school or just not have any interest in it. Today was one of those lazy days.

Seriously, if they would have school at night, I'd do much better. Whatever genius decided that seven a.m. were 'waking hours' was insane.

I could already feel my eyelids get heavier and heavier. Somebody in this house had better remember to get me when Mom calls out for dinner.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up again to a blessedly lizard-free room several hours later. _Yes!_ I glanced at the clock and it read 9:06 p.m. _Damn!_

I'd say it was a safe bet to say I missed dinner. Grumbling, I stomped down the stairs just _daring_ Iro to get in my way. I still had to get my revenge on that little bastard.

"It lives…" Hazuki grinned from the couch.

"You're a really deep sleeper, Aniki," giggled Hana, peeking over her book. "We all tried to call you down, but you never came."

"Depending on what you saved me, I may or may not forgive you."

"There's pizza in the fridge."

"You're forgiven."

To me, pizza is a work of art. A masterpiece of the Human World! There are hundreds of flavors and styles, and you can eat it hot or cold. Either way is delicious. Plus it makes the perfect snack or meal at any time during the day. There have been times that I've lived off it for three days straight and other times that it saved me from one of Hazuki's crazy breakfast experiments. Pity I didn't have any this morning.

I opened the fridge and saw a few slices of pepperoni and supreme left. Beautiful.

After practically inhaling four slices of chilled pepperoni and steamed supreme, I felt like going on one of my crazy late-night walks again. I'd noticed a nice breeze through my window upstairs earlier. I'd hate to waste it.

"Mom! I'm going on a walk!"

"Watch out for other vampires!"

"Very funny! I'll make sure to remember my stake and garlic if you haven't already used them on your dessert!"

Once outside, I found myself retracing my path back to that park I found on my first night in Tokyo. As usual, I let my mind drift and the wind carry me. I thought about everything and nothing, past and present, paper or plastic, and all the other deep mysteries of the universe.

"Damn, I need a life…" I muttered while stretching, secretly missing how relaxing it was to flex my old wings.

Scoffing at the eight foot iron bars again, I cleared them like the master thief I was—am. This time I did notice something a little different though. While I passed a couple people on my way to the park, no one seemed to be inside it. Yes, it was after hours, but I figured that wouldn't stop all those crazy teenagers and hobos from running amok in here. In fact, aside from the closed gates, it didn't look like anyone had been here for awhile. The air even felt different here.

Brushing that strange observation off, I stuck to one of the gravelly paths dimly lit by the moon above me. Why there were no streetlights was beyond me. Still I continued on. What was there to be afraid of? I could see in the dark as well as in the light and anybody stupid enough to try and mug me would quickly find out why black belts aren't given out like candy in any dojo. Even if that couldn't cut it, my dual sythes were just a quick summon away….which got me thinking of Makai again.

_My, my…what to focus on first? My old stomping grounds? The student guide who may or may not know them? Or just why the hell this place looks so much like them? _

I sat down on one of the metal park benches to clear my head. With the exception of the gravel path, the faint scent of the Ningenkai, and the bench I was resting on, this place could almost be a mirror image of my past life's territory. The atmosphere felt strong and heavy—very Makaiin. The landscape didn't look like anything I'd ever seen in my Tokyo guidebooks. Even the vegetation looked foreign to this world. _That_ I was positive.

Even if everything else was a coincidence, the plants couldn't be. Of all people, I would know that best. Over by one of the many giant trees, was a rhododendron patch. I learned that these existed in the Ningenkai too, but they were far less lethal. The Makai version could spit poison darts and grow to be a good twelve feet tall. I found this out when I accidentally spilled hot tea on Youko once. A few yards away from those were some verbenas. Now those were a pain in the ass to escape from. They grow faster than weeds, have extending thorny vines and shoot razor-shuriken leaves. All I did was playfully pull one of Youko's tails when he was in huggable kitsune form and he just snapped on me! Then there was the Ojiigi a couple hundred yards away from the verbena. _Those_ things are tenacious little bastards, I promise you. What with their heat sensors, acidic drool, and all. But it was after encountering them that I learned the most valuable lesson that can ever be taught in all three worlds---NEVER wake a sleeping kitsune. Ever. It's just not worth risking your life for. If you ever encounter a fox taking a nap, _Let them be_.

Especially if they have any proficiency with deathplants.

I shuddered at the memory. But it was undeniable proof—either I was back in the Makai or somebody had a twisted sense of gardening skills. And apparently some killer connections with an otherworldly flower shop, I thought to myself as I noticed a new flower that I had never even seen before (And after growing up with Youko Kurama, that's quite the achievement, trust me).

The bloom was a deep shade of red and resembled a buttercup. It was smaller than the majority of the killer plants, but still possessed a mysterious quality to it. I racked my brain, but still couldn't find a memory of fleeing for my life from it or anything that vaguely resembled it. Was it a Ningenkai plant then?

I reached down to examine it better and felt a breeze kick up without warning. Tensing up immediately, I scanned it quick for any presence behind it. There was nothing; no human, demon, or otherwise unspecified force was the source of it. The wind had to of been natural.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I relaxed again. My hand got closer to the strange red flower, and I regretted relaxing at all. The wind came back stronger than before, and refused to die down. The last thing I saw were the blood red petals surrounding me in the mini-twister created by what seemed to be natural causes. There was a hurricane of scarlet and then nothing…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I woke up again, I found myself resting underneath a tree. I wiped my bleary eyes and took in my new surroundings. Absolutely nothing looked familiar.

What kind of crazy dream…?

Then I checked my watch. 7:12 a.m. The phrase "Oh, fuck" comes to mind.

I tried to get my bearings and sped off in the general direction I thought my house was. If Hazuki didn't kill me, the teachers at Meiou just might. Then there's Kitsune. I wasn't exactly late before, but could live without seeing what he'd do if I ever was. Mostly because another kitsune I once knew dealt with tardy teammates by feeding them to his death tree. Not a great way to start a raid, but it sure as hell got his message across.

Fortunately for me, this new park was about where the other one had vanished off to. If it really existed at all. I found my way around quickly and raced off to my house. Dogs barked, earlybirds stared in awe, joggers jumped out of my way, old people cursed, but I'll be damned if I didn't get back to my house in five minutes flat.

I don't know who planted that tree outside my window, but at the moment they're my savior. Using my experience as a thief, I jumped up it making only the slightest creak on the branches holding me up and dove through my window….Just in time to hear Hazuki's alarm clock go off down the hallway (I use my cellphone as my alarm clock, so I didn't have to worry about waking anyone up while I was gone). She didn't shut it off right away, meaning she was still half asleep. Meaning my ass was probably saved.

I got ready in a flash, grabbed the last piece of pizza for breakfast, and was on my way to the bus stop before she even got downstairs.

**----------------------------------------Bonus Side Story! (3****rd**** Person POV)**

"I'm tellin' ya he's gotta be a demon!" Kuwabara hollered into the phone. "No one else can make me look like such a fool!"

"In case you didn't notice, I do on a daily basis, Hiei does whenever he sees you, and even Kurama does on occasion…" the voice on the other end of the line responded.

"What'd you say, Urameshi! I oughta bash your face in!" the other Sarayashiki sophomore yelled, almost gripping the phone hard enough to break it in half.

"Somehow I feel very safe in my room over three miles away from your house."

Phone calls really weren't Kuwabara's thing.

"Shut up and listen, already! This dude's a demon! A youkai! A bad guy!"

"Just like the telephone pole was five weeks ago. Right."

"I was a little drunk then, okay! And stop changing the subject!"

Kuwabara spent a few more minutes trying to convince Yusuke that the Bat Next Door was really an axe murderer when he noticed the little communication compact Botan had recently gave all the Tantei start beeping and flashing.

"Ha! My Walkie-Talkie thingy's going off now, Urameshi!" Kuwabara bragged. "I'll bet it's Botan! _She'll_ believe me about that demon guy!"

"Whatever, try not to cause another power outage."

"Shut up!"

The boy slammed the phone down and picked up the blue little gizmo.

"What's up, Botan?" the carrot-top grinned in his trademark 'Kuwabara the Man' voice as he flipped it open. "Guess what? My neighbor's trying to hide the fact that he's a youkai and it's all up to me to stop him!"

"…."

"You're being kinda quiet, Botan! Don't you wanna hear about how I figured out his secret and bravely fought him off?"

"….Wrong number."

"Hiei?!" the orange swordsman shouted in surprise, opening his eyes for the first time since he started talking. "Why are _you_ calling me? Oh, do you wanna finally admit that I'm the better fighter?"

"Hardly. That stupid ferrygirl tossed this stupid device at me and took off before she explained how to use it," the fire youkai said angrily. "I've been trying to figure out how to call the Fox for the last half hour."

"Why do you wanna talk to Kurama so badly?"

"I wondered why Humans classify burns into degrees and under which categories are considered punishable by law."

"O-Oh….Hey did I tell you that my neighbor's a demon?" Kuwabara eagerly changed topics.

"Would this 'neighbor' of yours also be a telephone pole?"

"You too?! Forget it! I'm done talking to you! I hope your communication compact explodes in your face!" the human yelled and slammed the compact shut.

"I gotta get Botan to program ringtones on this thing," frowned Kuwabara, tossing the gadget onto his desk. He sat down for a moment, before picking his cellphone back up and punched in a new number.

"Hey, Kurama? Remember that creepy vampire-guy I told you about? Well, I now I think you were right all along—He's not a vampire at all."

"Really?" the new voice said. "I'm glad. Is that why you called?"

"Oh, no. He's not a vampire, he's a _demon_!" continued Kuwabara.

"And why do you think he's a demon?" Kurama asked. "Remember what happened the last time you tried to pick a fight with the telephone pole over—"

"Dammit! Why does everybody keep bringing that up?!"

"Listen, if you really want to prove your point, you should find evidence that proves your neighbor is really a youkai," the fox said reasonably.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" demanded Kuwabara.

"Well, what do you know about him?"

"Uh…he's kinda tall, only scrawny-looking. He definitely has an attitude problem and his hair's…pointy? And he, um, liked my mom's casserole? Or at least he said he did…Jerk was probably lying."

"I meant more along the lines of youki, strange habits, and background."

"Oh. His name's…Kumoki?"

"You already forgot it, didn't you?" Kurama chuckled.

"Hey! It's been awhile since we were properly introduced, okay?"

"Then first I would suggest that you learn his name."

"Uh-huh…"

"Can you remember anything else?"

"Gimme a second—Yeah! That weird uniform! He goes to your school!"

"He goes to Meiou?"

"Yeah! That's what his mom said too when they moved in! Aw, man this detective stuff is more addictive than _Goblin City_! I gotta call ya back!" exclaimed Kuwabara.

"Sure," came the redhead's response as they hung up. "Hmm…he goes to Meiou…"

After another moment of pondering, Kurama sweatdropped.

"But I'm sure I'd remember someone with a name like 'Kumoki'…"

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 4**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Okay…. if all goes according to plan, Kuro and 'Rama will be figuring out exactly who the other is in two more chapters or so. Long, yes, but it's taking me longer to finish up the events around Meiou's 'Welcome Week' then I originally thought. Bugger.

Kuro: So in other words it'll take you...about three years?

Neko: Keep talking, Bat. Oh, and to all Wado-ryu students and Karate-lovers in general, a very big gomenasai if I have somehow insulted your art. I love karate, but I don't pretend to be a certifiable expert on it. So just shake your head or correct me whenever you read any brilliant fuckups I make, 'kay? It's out of stupidity, not spite. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go devour some pizza.

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Youki **(Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Aniki** (Jap.) "Big Brother." This is one of the informal ways to say it.

**Tantei** (Jap.) "Detective"

**Makai** (Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Gomen nasai** (Jap.) formal "Sorry" or "I'm very sorry"


	5. Chapter 5

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: The weird flower of doom shall be revealed in this chapter. Sorta. And yes, Kurama is _so_ gonna be caught in the middle of the Kuro vs. Hiei war. Ha, ha, poor guy!

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Day 3 of my personal maroon-coated hell kicked off with the much anticipated/feared staff introduction. But before I met up with Kitsune and headed over to the Aud, fate intervened. Fate intervened in the form of a beast in a red sailor fuku.

I had been thinking out my Prove That Kitsune's A Youkai/Hanyou/Alien more than people would probably give me credit for and came up with several new ways to prove my theory. Since Plan A: Ask Kitsune Directly didn't work (read: failed miserably) I decided to move onto Plan B and ask the most demonic creature at school about it. Luckily, such a monster was only ten feet away from me, talking with another school guide.

"Hey, Itchweed! What do you know about Youkai?!"

"WHAT did you call me?!" she snarled back.

Fine, bitch. There goes Plan B.

After once more escaping Itchweed's wrath, I ended up near one of the lounge areas in the school courtyard. Of course it was on the complete opposite side of the campus fountain where I was supposed to meet Kitsune. Since Little Miss Committee Dictator was still on the prowl, it would be too dangerous to head over there and be in plain sight.

"Stupid Itchweed…" I muttered, glancing at my watch—7:36.

_Good, I still have time to kill before going over to the fountain. I can just hang out here for awhile and—Hey, is that Fishboy? _

Sure enough, the Fish was sitting by himself at one of the tables typing away at his laptop, muttering things to himself (or possibly the computer) in Geek-speak. Time for Plan C: Get The Info Out Of The Nerd Nearest To Me When I Felt The Strong Youki. Or _Mission Impoundable_ for short.

"Alright, Fish-man, talk," I said seriously, taking a seat across from him. "What do you know about Makai?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Akatsuki," he replied nervously pushing his glasses up with a finger. "And that's not the way to properly sit in a chair."

I ignored his complaint about sitting in a chair backwards, and risked letting out a little wave of my youki. Some pressure to make him more talkative.

"Oh, I know you know. And I know you know I know you know. You know I know you know I know. So spill."

"Whaaaaaat?!"

Yep, I was getting under his skin. Most definitely. A little more youki pressure and he'd crack. I should be an interrogator or something.

"There you are, Akatsuki."

Or not.

"Huh?"

Right behind me stood Kitsune. I hadn't even noticed because I was so focused in scaring the shit outta Fish-boy, here. Once my concentration broke, he reminded his heart to resume beating. Or at least that's how it sounded to my enhanced hearing.

"Hey, Red. What's up?" I grinned, trying to come off as innocent as possible without sounding suspicious. "I was just killing time with Fishy here to escape a demon lord in a school girl uniform."

"The price of popularity, huh?" he responded with a smile.

Kitsune saw right through me, I'm sure of it.

"Yeah, it's rough being pretty," I laughed.

The Fish mumbled something fishy.

"I'm not late, am I?" I asked with a fake glance to my watch.

"Oh, no," the redhead said with an unreadable expression. "I just thought I'd take a quick walk around campus before we were supposed to meet up."

It was really unnerving the way he sounded normal, but seemed to be analyzing my every move. If I didn't watch myself, I felt like he was going to catch me in a lie or something. I was stressing about breathing wrong around Kitsune like this. Maybe _he_ should be the interrogator.

"That so? See any cute girls?"

"I thought you went after upperclassmen."

"He goes after anything with a pulse," snorted the Fish, regaining his composure.

I growled at him in response. How come he started feeling better the second _I_ started sweating? Asshole.

"So what's the plan for today, Mr. Student Guide?" I asked.

"First, some of the faculty are introducing themselves in the auditorium, but you'll be okay zoning most of them out since they're mostly Freshman course teachers," came my answer.

"Great, does the fun stop there?" I groaned.

"Nope, after that the current Student Council President will say a few things and start the organization fair in the gym. That's where all the clubs are setting up stands to attract new members."

"Spiffy."

"I knew you'd be excited," laughed Kitsune.

But his eyes weren't laughing. Kitsune's eyes were saying 'I will figure out why the hell you were using youki, and then beat you with a stick.' Or something along those lines. Maybe threatening ningens around a public building in broad daylight wasn't the best idea ever.

"Well, we should probably get going if we want to beat the fangirls," the redhead joked.

"Yes sir," I smirked. "Later, Fishy!"

The curly-haired boy frowned in annoyance at my comment, but returned Kitsune's apologetic/farewell wave.

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"The rules were made with the school's best interest in mind, and _will_ be followed!" proclaimed a loud, nasally voice from onstage.

"Kill me now…" I muttered, sinking deeper into my chair in back. "I can't help but think this guy is trying to threaten me."

Beside me, Kitsune gave me an amused look before returning his attention to the skinny vice-principal at the podium.

"I have strived to keep up this establishment's fine prestige and fully expect you students to do the same during your four years here. The first step to doing so is to read all 569 rules in your student handbook and be sure to abide by them daily!"

"This guy counted them all?" I said under my breath. "What kind of freak counts rules in his spare time?"

"Everyone needs a hobby…" Kitsune whispered back.

I coughed a bit to hide my laugh.

"You, over there!" Vice-Principal Akusei hollered. "What do you think you're doing? Sleeping during presentations is strictly forbidden!"

I shot up in my chair so fast; you'd think I was electrocuted. Had my red-haired friend not placed a hand on my shoulder, I'd have probably jumped out of my chair. Well, me and half of everybody else there. Fortunately for me, the VP was pointing an accusing finger at a boy two sections away from us.

"As soon as this introduction assembly is over, I expect to see you in my office immediately!" spat Akusei with venom in his voice.

"B-But what about the Org. Fair? I wanted to go and—"

"What _about_ the Organization Fair? A waste of time and effort! You heard me, the rules were created to be _followed_!" the vice-principal raged. "Failure to comply means expulsion, young man! You show up at my office or I'll have you thrown out of Meiou!"

After the freshman was done sobbing, he nodded. Akusei had more authority than you'd expect from someone so lacking in hair, body fat, and overall human decency.

"_Somebody's_ got an ego," I whispered to Kitsune, sweatdropping.

"Yes, he helped write many of the rules and became very…_attached_ to them," he whispered back."

"What's his beef with the Org. Fair?"

"He sees after school clubs as a distraction from academics."

"I see," I grinned. "Must suck to have such a huge tree stuck up his ass all the time."

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After the microphone had been all but wrestled out of the power-trippin' VP's grasp, the rest of the staff started introducing themselves. Not surprisingly, most of them were first year level teachers that I would probably never see outside of the hallways, like Kitsune said.

"My name is Hidoi Naoto, and I'm the current doctor," said the current faculty member on the mic. "I've worked here for six years now, so feel free to come to me with any questions you might have."

Several of the girls in the audience swooned when he graced them with a dazzling smile. Full of himself much?

"Pft. That guy is such a faker," I snorted.

"Very good," smirked Kitsune. "You're in a karate class, so you'll probably meet Personality Number 2 a little later. This is just the persona he uses around those he needs to impress like Vice-Principal Akusei and any parents that happen to be visiting."

"Great…"

Once he stepped down, another younger guy in a fancy-looking suit stepped up. He had longer hair like Kitsune, but it was light brown and pulled up into a ponytail.

"My name is Matsuoka Shouhei, and I'm one of the karate instructors here at Meiou," he smiled (sincerely too, unlike _some_ staff members). "I look forward to meeting you and all my new students."

There was wild applause from some of the older students that was quickly silenced by a glare from Old Akusei.

"Eh?"

"Like he said, he's a karate instructor here," Kitsune explained. "He's been here since I was in elementary school, so he's very well-liked by most of his students and the upperclassmen."

"My name's Matsuoka _Yukio_," growled a new voice. "I'm the other karate instructor here."

Unlike the instructor before him, Yukio had short black hair and a permanent scowl on his face. He sounded like a cranky, arrogant guy, but at least he was honest about it. Before any applauding attempts could be made for this Matsuoka-sensei, Akusei shot them down with deathglares and the ever-present threat of a trip to his office.

"That name sounds familiar…oh, shit, he's my sensei, isn't he?" I winced.

"Yeah, he's a little more serious than Shohei-sensei, but he's still very respected."

"Shohei-sensei?"

"Oh, that's right, I forgot to tell you," Kitsune grinned apologetically. "They both allow us call them by their first name because they share the same last name. To avoid confusion and all."

"Are they related or something?"

"No, but you might think so by the competitive way Yukio-sensei acts around Shohei-sensei…"

"So they fight a lot?" I asked.

"No," Kitsune chuckled. "Shouhei-sensei's probably the only one that _doesn't_ notice how much Yukio-sensei wants to defeat him. He's been trying since they were in middle school from what I hear."

After the rest of the teachers and staff had finished introducing themselves, one of the secretaries took over the microphone to introduce our acclaimed Student Council President.

"Alright everyone, it is my pleasure to introduce your acting Student Council President, Kibishii Kuroji."

Same name as me? Weird. Then things got even weirder.

"Hellooooo, freshman and friendsssss…." Kibishii greeted us as he was met with a light applause.

My first thought: _Holy crap, how the hell did this guy get elected?_

Kibishii Kuroji stood at barely five feet tall, with scraggly black hair and empty eyes that were mostly hidden under his long bangs. He was surrounded by a cloud of doom and gloom and had the creepiest voice I've ever heard. Oh, and dress code be damned, he had a black scarf draped around his neck that covered part of his face as well.

I turned to my sweatdropping guide.

"Holy crap, how the hell did this guy get elected?"

After thinking about it for a moment, he told me that he honestly couldn't remember.

_My school is so eff'd up. _

"I'm am sooooo glad to be here today to introduce the Organization Fair to you all…" the dark lord practically giggled. "If only it could be held in the dead of night with a clouded full moon to grace our fine school's dark spirit…"

Okay. What? Am I the only one that was trying to figure out what evil spirit possessed our School Prez?

"Yes… You are all as lovely as black carnations hidden amongst the voodoo dolls of the tainted Starbucks employees. So vibrant…"

I looked around. Everyone else was either terrified, confused, or sporting several beads of sweat on their head.

"We must all band together this year to support each other in our studies, sports, or other club duties. Only when we offer our hearts up to the darkness, can we see what light truly resides in us all…" the freak gestured wildly.

_Is this guy some Satan-worshiper or just a misguided Kingdom Hearts fan?! _

"Remember to give your support to your school and your community. Go Lions."

"G-Go Lio…ns…" a few students repeated half-heartedly.

What a way to open the Org. Fair.

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"I dunno, Kitsune. After the Student Council President's speech, I'm more tempted to _leave_ Meiou than join any of its clubs…" I complained.

"Don't be discouraged. Kibishii's term is just about up," laughed the redhead. "We were supposed to elect a new President before summer, but there were too many problems with the graduation ceremony to take care of anything else. Kibishii's just filling in until we elect a new Student Council President."

"Thank god…"

We were taking the long route to the gym to avoid crowds. We passed the lounge area again on our way.

"So why don't they just have this thing outside?" I asked.

"Not enough room, I guess. They tried to hold it in the entryway last year, but there were too many stands and not enough space," Kitsune told me. "I suppose enough of the organizations complained to Principal Gan and he moved it to the gym."

"Really? This place is huge already! Hard to imagine it not being big enough for a bunch of clubs to put a few stands up."

"Incidentally, how are you liking the campus so far?" smiled Kitsune.

"It's cool. There's just one change I'd make…" I said, closing my eyes.

"What's that?"

"I'd plant a few hundred venus fly traps along the edge of the building!" I exclaimed, spreading my arms out for dramatic effect. "Give it some a little flair, y'know?"

"I'm afraid that those are classified as carnivorous plants, and aren't allowed," Kitsune said, trying to stifle his laughter.

I turned to look at him for a moment.

"What?"

"….It was you, wasn't it? The one who planted those things by the faculty lounge…" my eyes widened.

"Eh? No I didn't—"

His eyes almost unnoticeably flickered for just a second. He wasn't telling the truth. Youko did the same thing every time he lied too…

"You're lying! It _was_ you!" I cracked up. "That is _too_ funny! You, of all people!"

Besides priding myself on being one of the best damn good-looking thieves to ever live, I was secretly proud of my ability as a lie-detector. Youko could use his crazy word games and threats of death by overgrown poison-spewing daisies all he wanted to catch someone in a lie, and all I'd have to do was look at them to be able to tell.

Meanwhile, Kitsune frowned.

"…I had my reasons, alright? I just kind of..._forgot_ about them when I left school."

"Can I borrow a quarter?" I asked between laughs.

"What for?"

"I want to call your mother and thank her."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, I have to give Principal Gan some credit. Switching the location of the Org. Fair was probably a good call on his part. When Kitsune said that it would be crowded, he wasn't kidding. The gym was jam-packed with upperclassmen running stands to get the freshmen to join their club by means of asking politely or begging profusely.

This was one of those times you'd do anything for a can of mace and a large blunt object.

Some clubs took the traditional approach of setting up a table, making pamphlets, and calmly answering any questions. Other clubs took a more…._unique_ approach.

"If you'll turn your attention over to the Sewing and Crafts club, our annual Cocoon The Student Competition will begin shortly!" exclaimed an overly-cheerful girl into a microphone. "Please be sure to watch as our group of top stitchers race against the clock to crochet a gorgeous cocoon around our brave volunteer!"

"Hey, wait! I thought you guys were kidding!" shouted the 'brave volunteer' behind her. "I don't wanna be a bug!"

"Right this way, right this way folks!" a guy in a sports uniform started bellowing. "The Meiou Football Team will be sponsoring the 'I'd Rather Run Into A Wall' competition in the west wing of the gym in ten minutes! Be sure to get their soon and join in on all the head-butting action!"

"Are you a guy? Are you hot? Then come join the Super Otaku Universe Partnership, where we have just the cosplay for you!" cried another hyper girl. "Come join S.O.U.P.! Female members with extreme ADD welcome as well!"

I could barely believe my eyes. These guys really went all out here. Are all schools like this in Tokyo? I instinctively took a step back and bumped into something soft.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, spinning around. "I didn't see you ther—"

I was face to face with a giant rubber ball.

"Oh, don't worry about it!" giggled a smaller girl above me.

She was riding around on top of a ten foot tall bouncy ball. This school is _whacked_.

"Uh…" I stuttered, stupefied as to how to answer that.

"By the way…" the girl beamed, hopping off the ball and ignoring it when it plowed into an innocent bystander. "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

"Kitsuuuuune!"

I spent the next ten minutes latched on to Kitsune's arm, for fear that if I let go, the monsters in Meiou uniforms might get me.

"Um, Kuroji? I can't feel my arm anymore…"

"Good, then we should go see the nurse! Let's go!" I said hopefully.

"Don't you want to join a club or something?" asked my guide.

"I'd much rather leave with all my limbs intact, thanks."

A pair of students advertising for the mountain-climbing club strode by us on a camel.

"Or at least my life. Just leaving with my life would be good too."

"Where you in any clubs back in Kyoto?"

"I was an active member of the Go Home From School club."

"I see," Kitsune nodded.

Back in Kyoto I never had time for any club or group activities. For most of my middle school years, I was too busy retraining my new body and my two years in high school were spent stealing enough goods to make up for lost time. I saw clubs as a waste of time and significantly less profitable. Oh, hell, now I sounded like that vice-principal.

"Although maybe I will join something this time," I said with a sudden change of heart. "Are you in anything?"

"Not really," Kitsune said thoughtfully. "I already have enough after school duties to keep me busy."

"Like what?"

"Just…stuff," he responded with a grin.

Damn mysterious types.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that lovely ordeal with the Org Fair, I said goodbye to Kitsune and snuck out. I had looked around, but there was no Youkai United or Thievery Guild For The Ridiculously Good-Looking clubs. Dammit. Although the Cooking Club and the Arts & Crafts for girly chicks and guys without dicks sounded tempting, I fought the immense urge to join. Since I was cooking-challanged and not fixed, I figured I didn't qualify.

Days like this really made me miss my old life. Well that, and made me consider stabbing my eyes out with a spork.

Walking home, I could practically feel my pillow calling me back to my warm and comfy bed for a little afternoon nap. Forcing my legs to start going in the opposite direction was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Now that school was over, I had sworn to head back to that weird park. There was too much that I had to figure out.

Once again, finding it was no problem. Only this time there were more people in it. A pack of old folk power walking on the shady sidewalk, a couple was being all flirty on a bench, and a few teenagers were playing a game of pick-up on a basketball court. All in all, it was so peaceful, it made me sick.

Some kids on the playground had stopped hanging like monkeys to watch me in all my Meiou-clad glory. Their parents had turned around to see what their children were watching so intently. I kept up my speedy pace and heard more than a few giggles.

I wanted to shoot them in the head.

Trying to find that stupid flower patch was harder than I thought it'd be. Everything looked so different in the daylight. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. It was hot out, I was trying to find a needle in a haystack, and my uniform was making me all itchy.

"Eeek! Let go pervert!"

SLAP.

"You little bitch! Why'd you have to go an' do somthin' like that?"

"Hey, Dai! Whaddaya say we have some fun with 'em, first?"

"Heh, heh…yeah…"

Great, just what I need. Potential rapists picking on potential babes. Oh, well, I need to vent a little anyway. I picked up the pace again and followed the voices to a secluded little bench area. To keep the element of surprise, I ducked behind a tree and glanced over it to see what idiot ningen I'd be going up against.

I saw him immediately. Hard to miss someone who's face defied normal body/head proportion ratios. His face was so huge, it made him look like the ugliest chibi-character in existence. His two flunkies kept calling him "Dai." I'm going to call him "Fathead."

The ones getting harassed were two girls about my age. One had short brown hair and the other had long blue hair pulled up into a ponytail. Neither looked particularly frightened of the three cretins in front of them, but it didn't look like either had anything to fight them off with either. Since they were both pretty cute, it became my sworn duty to beat the shit outta their hideous attackers. Especially since it's hardly worth my time when they can't even use _reiki_.

"C'mon girlie, let's go have us a little fun!" Fathead said in his most charming (?) voice.

It sounded more like a rodent getting hit by a speeding car.

"In your dreams, Ugly!" shouted the blue-haired one before grabbing her friend's arm. "Let's go, Keiko!"

But the two cronies blocked their path, allowing Fathead to loom over them…Not that it mattered to me. I just rushed up behind him and tapped his shoulder.

"Excuse me, Fathead?"

"Hunh?" he grunted, turning to face me. "What do you want, faggot?"

I sucker-punched him into a tree.

"If you keep bothering these ladies, I'll have to hurt you," I smirked. "Oh, I guess that warning reached you a little late, huh?"

"Holy---He got Dai!" shrieked Thug #1.

"That's nuts! Run for it!" Thug #2 cried.

"Loyal bunch aren't they?" I muttered, watching their retreating figures. "Gotta love that gangster logic…"

"Ungh…" Fathead groaned as he slowly sat up and rubbed the blood off his bloody nose and split lip. "I'll get you for that, faggot-uniform!"

"Yeah? You might stand a chance with an army of your Fathead friends, but otherwise you're pretty much screwed."

"I ain't gonna need nothing to kick your ass!" Fathead yelled, charging.

"Actually…" I smirked, dodging his blow with ease. "I think you're gonna need a doctor…"

I grabbed his wrist and neatly snapped it without any effort.

"UWAAAAAAH!!" Fathead bellowed while clutching his now-broken wrist. "I-I'll remember this!!"

And with that he ran away. Sobbing the whole way. Wuss.

"Wow, thank you!" beamed blue-hair. "You're pretty tough!"

"Yeah, thanks for helping us," the brunette added.

"Eh, no worries," I grinned, the two girls seemed fine. "When they're as weak as Fathead, it's really no problem at all."

Blue laughed and then looked at me a little closer.

"Hey, I know that uniform! You must go to the same school as Kura—"

The shorthaired girl quickly cupped her hand over Blue's mouth and laughed nervously.

"'Kura?'"

"Um, Kura…Kurashi!" she sweatdropped. "He's Botan here's second cousin! Right, Botan?"

"Mmph-mffle-mmph!"

"Okay…" I said, sweatdropping a little myself. I doubted they were telling the truth, but I couldn't figure out why it mattered. "I'm still new there myself, so I don't know anyone by that name. Oh, I'm Akatsuki Kuroji, by the way."

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Yukimura Keiko and this is Botan…um, Koizumi Botan!"

"Mffle-MMPH!"

"Yeah, uh, take care on your way home, then."

"We will, thank you!"

The three of us waved goodbye and went our separate directions.

It was then I noticed that I was pretty close to the area where I woke up this morning. I smiled to myself and gave a mental thank-you to the two girls. They were a little strange, but I guess I'm not really one to talk. Maybe all Tokyo girls were like that.

I made my way over to the tree that I had been sleeping under not even seven hours ago. Hopefully there was some kind of clue that would explain a few things about this crazy park. Or at least a caffeinated beverage for my long walk home.

What I found was one of those red flowers from my dream.

I bit my lip and got closer to it. Something inside it was glinting a little from the sun rays. I took a deep breath and bent down towards it, 100 percent sure that this was no dream. Placing my hand under the crimson petals, the metallic item inside fell out into my palm.

It was my red amulet that cost me my life as Kuronue.

I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stiffen and my muscles tense when a small breeze kicked up again. Only instead of going all tornado on me, the wind whispered something into my ear.

"…_Anemone_…"

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 5**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Yes! Another one finished!

Kuro: _(bored)_ Eh, good for you.

Neko: Now I'm this much closer to making your second life a living hell of traumatizing school events, unnecessary violence, and blueberry muffins!

Kuro: Yeah, you're—WHAT?!

Neko: Thanks for reading everybody!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Fuku** (Jap.) "Uniform" or "Clothes"

**Youki **(Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Makai** (Jap.) "Demon World"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Akusei** (Jap.) "Malignant" When he teams up with Principal Gan, you get "Malignant Cancer" Ha, ha! I'm way too easily amused.

**Staff Intos** – Since the fic takes place in Japan, I used the traditional Last Name, First Name way of introducing oneself.

**Naoto Hidoi** (Jap.) "Health + Well-built" and "Terrible" (as in Terrifying) respectably.

**Matsuoka** (Jap.) "Hill covered in pines"

**Sensei** (Jap.) "Teacher"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**Dai Motomoto** (Jap.) Just a random delinquent from the YYH manga series. The one with the really big face. It was pick up manga, skim pages, insert random thug.

**Chibi** (Jap.) "Little" Also the term for comic relief moments when anime/manga characters appear as smaller versions of themselves with huge heads and tiny bodies.

**Kurashi** (Jap.) "Life" I couldn't think of much else that sounded somewhat normal with the prefix 'Kura'

**Koizumi** (Jap.) "Little Spring" Kinda random again. Tried going with something that sounded cutesy but related to the River Styx and Botan's position as a ferrygirl.


	6. Chapter 6

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: I was in a random mood and so you get….chapter six.

Kuro: That was a quick update. For you, I mean.

Neko: I was in a random mood.

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Thanks for the continued support, peoples! Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Also good to see that a few of you got the _KH_ reference last time. I hadn't even intended Kibishii to sound all Xemmy until after I typed it and reread it. For those of you who aren't familiar with _Kingdom Hearts_, don't worry. Like _Nokoru-sama_, it's just a random reference that won't involve the main plot much.

Kuro: LoveAnime18, thinking like that freak is not a good thing. It's usually a sign of mental instability.

Neko: _(sticks tongue out at him)_ And just what the hell is an "Anemone?" Well, I could just tell ya to Google it, but I thought I'd bring in an expert…Kurama!

Kurama: Taken from the Latin word for wind "anemos," an anemone or "Windflower" is a perennial said to have sprung up from the blood of the Roman God Adonis. It's part of the buttercup family and is used to help soothe nerves. It also represents a variety of things such as love, lust, anticipation, and abandonment…. Do you really need me to go on, Neko?

Neko: Only if you promise to take off your shirt…er. I mean, no. _(waves hand)_ I'll write about all the tragi-emo references with the blood and dead petals later.

All: …..

Kuro: Way to depress, 'em Neko. _(snickers)_ Or at least the ones that aren't after your life for that Kurama comment.

Neko: Oh, come on! Look at him! Is wanting to see him shirtless really such a crime? Whatever, on with the fic!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_In a forest, I stop running to see if we were being followed by the other youkai we stole our dinner from. _

"_What's that thing around your neck?" _

"_I got it from my Mom before she died, Youko-chan." _

"_Stop calling me '-chan!' I'll be turning __**seven**__ this year!" _

"_Yeah, well I'll be turning __**nine**__ so I get to call you whatever I want! Ha, ha!" _

"_Stupid koumori!" _

_Running again, something snaps by my neck…_

"_Wait, Kuronue!" _

"_I need it!" _

_Countless spears pierce through me in an instant. _

I brought a hand up to my heart to try and get it to stop beating so hard. I even shook my head to clear it from all the memories that suddenly flooded over me. There was no doubt the amulet in my other hand was the original one I had received from my late demon mother hundreds of years ago.

I couldn't help but shiver. This thing made me feel the razor-sharp bamboo on a whole new level. It was so clear now, almost like it was happening all over again. After taking a deep breath, I reopened my hand to take another look at the necklace.

It gleamed crimson in the sunlight exactly as it did that day eighteen years ago…

"How the _hell_….?"

None of this made sense to me. There was no possible way my amulet could've made its way all the way here. When I died, I left it behind in Makai. The only other person that would've known where to look for it there was….

"…Youko."

"Hey, are you alright over there?" a middle-aged man yelled from the sidewalk.

"Wh-What?" I stuttered, realizing how stupid I must look to him and his daughter beside him.

"Do you need help?" he tried again.

"No, I'm good!" I yelled back, snapping into character. "I just dropped my necklace!"

I stood up quickly and fastened my old amulet around my neck.

"Thanks though!" I said, waving them off.

Giving them enough time to get a good distance away, I made sure no one else was around before hightailing it home demon-style. Which is to say I ran like a cheetah on steroids.

"I'm home!" I called out once I opened the door.

"You're kinda late today..." Hiro remarked from the bottom of the stairway.

"Do I need your permission to stay out?"

No, but….hey, what's that?" he asked pointing to my necklace.

"Good luck charm."

"Did you get it from a girl?"

"Of course."

"Figures. Was she cute?"

"Beautiful…" I said a little sadly.

"Kuroji?"

"Catch ya later, squirt. I wanna change outta this uniform as soon as possible," I complained, cutting around him and taking the stairs two at a time.

Geez…I still can't believe I get all sappy when talking about my youkai mom. She had died when I was about four years old…which was a _very_ long time ago. Sure, I had always missed her a little, but that was no reason to get all sentimental over some woman I barely even knew. Truthfully, I had always been jealous of Youko's ability to completely sever any feelings for his family. While you _did_ have to factor in the fact that he never even knew his father and lost his own mother at age two, I did get him to admit that they had been very close once.

Bet he'd laugh at the whole Happy Family thing I had going for me now.

I smiled to myself a little as I headed down the hallway to my room. In the process, I had already unbuttoned the top part of my shirt and was about to take it off when I stepped on something squishy. Something green and squishy with glowing red eyes.

Something like Iro.

"Hello there, Evil One…" I smirked. "Looks like the tables were turned this time."

Iro nursed his now oddly bent tail and glared at me with enough malice to melt the polar ice caps.

"What do they call this? Karma?"

Iro gave a roar and went for the jugular.

"Fucking Lizaaaaaaaaard!!" I yelled, trying to rip him off me.

But no, the little bastard kept clawing at me and refused to let go.

"I hope your tail is permanently bent like that for the rest of your stupid life!"

That got a hiss, growl, and something that sounded suspiciously like 'Die!' back from Iro.

For such a tiny little shit, you'd think the lizard would break loose as soon as you'd apply a little force, right? Well here I was using the force of _three_ grown men on him and he wasn't even breaking a sweat. I _hate_ this lizard! Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate—

_Clink_!

What was…?

_Clink! Clink! _

I looked down.

"My amulet!"

In our scuffle, Iro's hind leg/Talon of Death had been hitting the chain of my necklace.

"You piece of crap! I just got this thing back!" I yelled, hurtling him across the hallway.

Naturally, the monster landed on his feet with all the ease of a panther. For some reason, he looked down the hallway then sprawled out on the floor as if he was in pain. A few moments later I figured out why.

"Iro?" cried a voice. "Oh, no! What happened to you, Iro?!"

Well shit.

Hana had just walked out of her room and rushed over to her poor, injured pet. She picked him up and cuddled him gently. The damned lizard was enjoying every moment of this.

"Before you say anything, I would like to point out that this was not my fault."

"Aniki, you were picking on him again, weren't you?!"

"He attacked me first!"

"I can't believe you, Aniki! How could you pick on a defenseless animal like this?!" Hana shouted.

"Defenseless my ass, that lizard's a demon!"

And I should know.

"He's a _chameleon_!" she huffed and spun on her heel. "I'm not talking to you for the rest of the night!"

As she stomped off downstairs, Iro peeked over her shoulder and gave me a victorious look.

"How old are you again?!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I slumped down into my bed with a sigh.

"I think this is the first time I don't feel the need for a nap after Meiou, School of the Damned…" I muttered.

After finding my long lost amulet in that weird park today, there's no way I could feel like sleeping….for a few hours at least. I unhooked the necklace's clasp and held it above me. Catching a few rays from the ceiling light, tiny red dots danced against the wall. I ran over the facts in my head again.

Went on late night walk, encountered strange park.

Entered said park, had trippy experience with a bunch of perennials.

Woke up hours later confused as hell.

Returned to strange park, found same flower from previous trippy experience.

Became more confused, in weird flower was Mommy's momento.

It could've been one of my enemies from when I was Kuronue, but that didn't seem too likely. First, they'd have to figure out that I wasn't really dead, then track me down in the Ningenkai where there were a _lot_ of humans to choose from. Besides, if somebody was after my life, they could've easily struck when I fell asleep at the park. Since nobody did, I felt a little safer.

It might've been some kind of trap, but I couldn't sense any weird presence or spell near the house or the amulet. Again, anyone that would bother trying to trap me would have to know I'm not dead in the first place. Guess that one's ruled out too.

If I thought about the location of my amulet, the park, and a dreamscape resembling Makai, plus the flower I found it in, the only way I could explain it was Youko. He's the only one that really knew about my amulet, the only one that saw me run back for it the day I died, and the only one that could transport it between worlds in a flower. Or at least that was my theory. I wasn't 100 percent sure Youko could send my amulet to me from Makai via flower, but if anyone could do it, it was him. All I really knew for sure was that there was no way he could get through the Kekkai Barrier on his own—Youko was too powerful to pass through. He'd probably singe his fluffy little tails if he got near the damned thing.

But if he could….maybe it was some kind of test? My old thieving buddy wasn't exactly the kind of person that would walk right up to me and say hi no matter how much he suspected me of being Kuronue. He's the kind of person that would carefully test me several times before approaching me directly.

Could Youko really be looking for me here?

The thought cheered me up a great deal. All my preparation to someday return to Makai and see my best friend again _wasn't_ in vain. Youko might even be looking for me. I couldn't help but smile.

"I'll see ya soon…" I said in the direction of my window.

A small gust of wind seemed to agree.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm hoooooooooome!" Hazuki called out from the doorway. "Hana, did you remember to tape _Nokoru-sama_? A co-worker told me he had a cute guest today!"

By this time, I had gone downstairs to eat a snack in the living room. Despite being sprawled out on the couch, I was still apparently invisible to Hazuki, who carelessly tossed her jacket and bags at me.

"Nice to see you too, Mother." I grumbled, half-buried at that point.

"Sorry, Kuroji! I didn't see you there!" she laughed.

"So I gathered."

She went on to drop some takeout off in the kitchen and further interrogate her daughter about their crazy obsession with the popular talk-show host. Despite the loss off the cookie I was eating to the barrage of jackets and bags, my good mood was still intact. Just the possibility of Youko being somewhere nearby or at least testing me was enough to keep me smiling.

"Why do you look so cheery?" Hazuki asked, poking her head around the corner that separated the kitchen from the living room.

"I had a good day."

"At school? No way!" my human mother said in disbelief.

"Let's just say it got a lot better after school," I grinned.

"Kuroji…" she said seriously, taking my hand in hers. "…Did you use protection?"

"Whaaaat?!" I shouted, turning the shade of a tomato. "I did _not_ have sex with any—"

"Then explain your Fluster Dance! Explain it!"

"Anyone would be embarrassed after being asked that question by their own Mother!"

"Now, Kuroji-chan, I would love to be a Grandma, but I can wait. You make sure you finish up high school before you knock somebody up."

"This conversation is _over_!!"

"Aww, Kuroji…" giggled my human mother as she pinched my cheek. "You're so cute when you get embarrassed!"

Thankfully dinner started shortly after.

"So then this older guy that's been crushing on me all week came up to me after my shift and declares his love for me!" Hazuki laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. "I pulled the sweet and innocent card of course and told him _'I'm so sorry, right now my_ _heart is so full from raising my precious children, I don't think there's room for anyone else…_' Ha, ha! Pretty good, huh?"

She was happily waving around a glass full of something that smelled suspiciously like sake.

"Why does it always end up like this?" I asked no one in particular.

"Mom's in top form, today," added Hiro.

"Behold the wonders of alcohol. Can you pass me the Mu Shu Chicken, Hana?" I asked.

She just sniffed and turned her head away from me.

_Oh, right. Not speaking to me today….Stupid Lizard_…

"What's this? Are you two fighting again?" snickered Hazuki. "Kuroji, you're such an idiot, what'd you do this time?"

"Why do you automatically assume it was me?!"

"You're so uptight today, Kuro-chan! Here try some of this! It's good!" the bubbly head of the family said, pouring me a glass of whatever she was drinking.

"You do realize that I'm a minor, right?" I pointed out, but took the glass of sake nonetheless.

"Details, details! How do you ever expect to have children if you're so cranky?"

"Aniki's going to have a baby?!" exclaimed Hana, temporarily forgetting about not talking to/about me.

"Congratulations, Daddy!" laughed Hiro.

"And they wonder why teenagers are so prone to acts of violence…" I growled.

"Speaking of violence…." Hazuki stared at me over her sake glass. "I heard you beat up the neighbor boy?

I glared at Hiro.

"If you talking about that child molester next door, you should thank me. He—

"How do you expect us to fit in our new neighborhood if you keep attacking everyone in it?" she asked.

"I was doing us all a favor, Mom! I deserve an award or a cookie or…something," I argued.

"Hmm, maybe we should have them over for dinner sometime…" she mused. "That should clear up the misunderstanding…"

"WHAT?!" Hiro and I shouted simultaneously.

"That sounds good," Hana added.

"Mm-hmm, we could have them over sometime next week so they know about it in advance," Hazuki agreed.

"But I'm allergic to pedophiles!

"And Orange Beast smells funny!"

"And you can't cook!"

"And—!"

"Enough already!" Hazuki interrupted, waving her hand in the air again. "You can go invite them over after school tomorrow, Kuroji."

"I don't wanna."

"You're the one that messed up the kid's face, so either you invite them over or I mess up yours!"

I was ignored when I tried to explain to her how his face was already messed up _before_ I kicked it in. Mothers…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Usually I'm happy to get out of the house for a little alone time at night now and then, but today I was practically jumping at the chance. This time I grabbed my jacket and was out the door before we even had supper cleaned up (ie thrown the empty Chinese takeout boxes away.) Normally I'd at least wait for the sun to set, but today I was way too excited by the idea that Youko might actually be waiting at the park to meet or test me again.

One dog-walker in particular was terrified when he watched me skip past him on my way there. Humans…

Okay, maybe skipping there was a little much and the neighborhood probably could've done without my rendition of _Reunited And It Feels So Good_, but I couldn't help it. I felt like a kid on his way to see Santa or something. Not that I'd ever tell Youko that I compared him to Santa, of course. I'm not found of full-body casts.

When I got to the park, there were still a few people there, but the majority of the crowd had cleared out. Not that any of that mattered to me. I was in too big of a rush to get back to that tree with the creepy flower under it.

As soon as I stepped under the tree's branches, I leaned against its trunk, grinning ear to ear. An extremely rare occurrence when the sun was still out. A few minutes passed, and I scanned the park for any youki. All I got was a few reiki-less ningen, a bunch of squirrels, and a stray dog.

No youkai, no strange power signatures, and no Youko.

I frowned and plopped down onto the grass. Maybe I had gotten there too early? I looked up at the sun, it would be setting soon. Was Youko waiting for the humans to leave? There were hardly any there to begin with.

He knows I'm impatient…

Over an hour passed and the sun had almost completely set. I hadn't moved from my spot next to the weird flower at all. My grin had turned into a scowl, however. There wasn't even a trace of Youko here. Even the flower seemed normal now. Stupid flower…

After another ten minutes the sun had become nothing more that a smudge of orange in the sky and the moon would soon be out. Prime thieving time! I hadn't done any stealing since I'd arrived in Tokyo, and was dying to try out my new and improved skills on some unsuspecting malls. Gotta stay in practice and all.

I had really been looking forward to meeting up with Youko and hitting the Shinjuku together for old time's sake! Youko would love it! A heavily populated area filled with all sorts of treasure—gourmet food, tons of money, designer clothes, the latest technology, expensive jewelry….

……He'd better not be blowing me off because he found something shiny.

"Stupid kitsune!!" I jumped to my feet and yelled. (I had been referring to the fluffy, not-so-huggable silver-haired one, naturally.)

I sighed again and walked myself back to the entrance. The park hadn't closed yet, so I didn't have to bother jumping any gates this time. How boring.

The walk back home was a long one. Partially because I was depressed, partially because I was dragging my feet. It just didn't seem fair, I had finally found my amulet, but no klepto-fox to go with it. Where was he…?

"Why so down, boy? Get stood up by a cutie?"

I turned towards the direction of the voice. It had come from an old man sitting on his porch at the end of my block.

"Maybe. What's it to you, old man?" I snorted. I hate it when people respond to my inner dialog.

"My, aren't you just the portrait of the angsting teen," he laughed.

"And aren't you just the portrait of annoying old man!"

This guy was really starting to bug me.

"Maybe you were too impatient. Nobody likes to be rushed, you know," the chuckling geezer continued. "Especially if they have to put up with you."

"Go laugh yourself off your rocker, why don't you?" I snarled. "Maybe then Orange Beast's dog can gnaw your head off."

"You mean the Kuwabaras' dog?" he asked. "Damn, boy! That thing's on more pills than I am!"

I couldn't help but smirk a little.

"You give up too easily. Weren't you raised better than that?" the old man asked me, as he stood up to return inside. "If you act lazy, you make your parents look lazy."

After departing that little pearl of wisdom to me, he stepped inside and shut his door. I just shrugged to myself and continued on to my own house.

While I could have just as easily used the front door, I really didn't feel like running into anyone at the moment. So I opted for the tree.

Even before I started climbing it, I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't explain why, but for some reason something about it screamed 'danger.' A few steps later, and I realized why.

I had made it to the open window sill when I was met by Iro. How he had snuck into my room after I closed my door was beyond me, but I really didn't expect any less from the pest that spreads misery and war wherever it goes.

"Move," I ordered.

Iro complied….by jumping up to slam the window shut on my hand.

I let out a surprised cry and pulled my injured hand back. Equally unfortunate was that I lost my balance in the process. Why is it that gravity never works the way you want it too?

"Oh my god, what happened?!" someone yelled from inside.

A moment later, Hazuki reopened the window and looked down at the crumpled figure of her son.

"Kuroji? Are you still alive, honey?"

"Yes, but that lizard won't be as soon as I get up there."

"Sweetheart?"

"???"

"If you're going to elope, can you please do it quietly?"

She then picked up Iro and walked away, leaving her poor victimized son all alone. Hazuki would not be receiving my vote for Mother of the Year.

Lying on the ground in a broken heap, I made myself a promise.

"_The day will come when I shall dine on roast lizard."_

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 6**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Mmm…cream filling…

Kuro: No kidding. This chapter was all Filler! I thought you said I'd figure out Kitsune's Kurama in two chapters!

Neko: I also said "or so." You should know by the end of chapter eight. Sorry, I ended up adding a few things that took up a lot of space.

Kuro: Stupid Neko…

Neko: Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say, Batsy. Thanks for reading everybody!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific for "little" usually used for girls and young children

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Aniki** (Jap.) Informal "Big Brother"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Makai** (Jap.) "Demon World"

**Sake **(Jap.) "Rice Wine" or "Alcoholic Drink"

**Youki **(Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon

**Shinjuku** (Jap.) A busy shopping area in Tokyo


	7. Chapter 7

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Chapter seven! Now with twice the danger, highjinks, and mood disorders, but half the cholesterol!

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Ha, ha! Kuro's crazy!

Kuro: Am not! I know LoveAnime18 meant to type "Neko" instead of "Kuro." You're the freak writing this fic, not me!

Neko: But technically _you're_ the one who made the statement in the fic. Give in and join the crazies, Batsy…you know you want to.

Kuro: Don't you have more questions to answer?

Neko: Yep! Kahuffstix wants to know how to say "koumori." Hehehe…

Kuro: Great, speech lessons with the resident psycho.

Neko: Um, if you pronounce it with English words, it sounds like "Cow-More-Ee" but with less emphasis on the "w." The "_Ee_" is the same sound as in "k_e_y." Hope that helps.

Kuro: "Ee" is not an English word. _(ignores glaring Neko)_ About time people are starting to see Iro's true colors!

Neko: That was a bad pun. (iro "color" in Japanese) But it looks like Iro's still got a few fans out there too. On with the fic!

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"On behalf of faculty and Welcome Week Committee and volunteers, I would like to thank all of you for making this program a success again this year," Principal Gan smiled.

Finally! The last day of the program from hell was coming to an end! Okay, so technically, it was only beginning, but I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"This has been such a great week filled with many positive experiences that I'm sure will benefit you greatly during the next four years here at Meiou High School! I hope you treasure those moments as much as I do!"

What was this guy going on about? The only "positive" and "beneficial" experiences I had was meeting Kitsune and memorizing the type of locks used on the animal cages in the Bio labs.

"I believe I speak for us all here at Meiou when I say how excited we are to have you joining us this year!" Principal Cancer continued. "Let's all work hard to make this a terrific year, and get started on the right foot to ensure your future achievements as Meiou Lions!"

Would someone _please_ kick this guy off the podium?

"And now, we will make ourselves a promise to never give up on our quest for academic success!" exclaimed the tiny, bald man. "Repeat after me: I promise to finish what I start!"

"I…promise to…finish…" a few students offered, then trailed off when they realized they were the only ones talking.

"I promise to finish what I start!" our Principal encouraged us again.

"I promise…," even less students replied.

"I'm not unlocking the doors to the auditorium unless you guys say it," laughed Gan.

"I PROMISE TO FINISH WHAT I START!!!" everyone screamed with enough enthusiasm to put a Hanshin Tigers fan to shame.

"Again!"

"I PROMISE TO FINISH WHAT I START!!!"

"Again!"

"I PROMISE TO FINISH WHAT I START!!!"

"One more time!"

"I PROMISE TO FINISH WHAT I START!!!"

Hard to believe that only Kitsune and the other guy on my left were the only ones that heard me yell "Let us go, you evil bastard!" after the third repetition.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite our heartwarming little come-together as a school, Pricipal Gan still got off tangent warning us about the dangers of drugs, violence, and other scary things that could lower our grade point average. _Then_ we were released from the Aud.

By this point, I was ready for anything. I memorized my school ID number, I toured the entire campus, I survived Gan's long-winded speeches, signed up for classes, was nearly trampled at the Org Fair and made two mortal enemies in under a week. What else could this place do to me? More testing? Another school song sing-along? Bring it on! I could take anything the School District threw at me! Anything!

"Here you go, Kuroji," Kitsune placed a four page survey in front of me.

Except that.

"Is this what I think it is?" I winced.

"If you're thinking that it's 'yet another pointless way to slowly drain away my sanity by means of questionnaire that probably won't make it past the collection bin;' then yes, yes it is," he grinned.

"I got up at 6:30 this morning to listen to that Principal drone on for a half hour and take a stupid survey?"

"Basically."

"You can say that smiling because you don't have to take this stupid thing," I complained, picking up my pen.

"You're right, but I did have to take it my freshman year, so I know how tedious it can be."

"Right, right…" I sighed. "So they don't even read these things?"

"Well from what I've heard, one of the secretaries usually screens them and picks out a few of the kinder ones to give to Principal Gan…" said Kitsune. "That way he doesn't get upset."

I pictured the chubby school principal sobbing and throwing a temper tantrum on his desk.

"Maybe that _is_ for the best…" I chuckled and returned to my survey. "…Hey, I've answered this question twice already!"

"Yeah, they tend to change the wording a lot," agreed my guide. "You'll probably answer it another five times or so before you're done."

"You've gotta be kidding me…" I groaned. "Explain your most memorable experience of the week?' Think they'll accept 'Running for my life from legions of hormonally-driven pre-teen girls?"

"You could try."

"Exactly _what_ are you letting him write, Shuiichi?" questioned a grouchy voice behind me.

"I don't think it's really my place to tell him what to write, Kaito," the redhead answered coolly.

"Heeeey, Fishy!" I grinned. "If you don't like my answers, you wanna finish my survey for me?"

"No thanks," he snorted.

I muttered a "Jerk." and went back to bullshitting my four page questionnaire. Apparently the Fish was on to me and took a seat between me and Kitsune. I definitely knew he was on me when he kept giving me a Disapproving Look every two seconds. Geez, what's his beef with me anyway?

"Who's your favorite staff member?' What crap is this?" I frowned.

"Oh, definitely Vice Principal Akusei!" gushed the bespectacled one.

"Have you been smoking crack, Fishy?"

"You're just jealous that you don't have the power and authority Akusei-sensei does."

"Power? What 'power?' The guy's a twig!" I laughed. "Oh, I see. You must have made a new friend today. Was her name Mary Jane?"

"What are you babbling about?" the Fish frowned. "I don't know anyone by that name…"

I sweatdropped.

"He was making a reference to marijuana, Kaito. _Drugs_," explained the wise green-eyed one.

"At least you get it, Kitsune…"

About fifteen minutes after a miffed Fish stomped back to his pond, I finally finished my survey. Red was wrong. I didn't answer the 'most memorable/best/fun/interesting/unforgettable question five more times. Oh, no. I answered it a good seven more times before I was through. I hope that whoever wrote that damned survey becomes a magnet for falling flower pots and pianos.

"Here, Kitsune…I'm….done…" I managed to say before collapsing onto the courtyard table in exhaustion.

"Kuroji?"

"Yeah?"

"Section 4 has a back page."

"…..If I get the question about a memorable experience _one more_ goddamned time I'm ripping that bloody survey to shreds."

It turns out it was a good thing I did take it back, because on the last page were the questions about the guides.

'Was your guide helpful and informative?'

_Yes. Saved me from wild beasts on giant rubber balls._

'Did your guide seem knowledgeable about the school and its activities?'

_Yes. See above_.

'Was your guide willing to answer any questions?'

_Yes. See above. _

'Was your guide able to clarify any misunderstandings you had?'

_Yes. For further information on this topic, see my answer for Question 1. _

"This thing just won't end…"

After another eternity of answering and re-answering questions phrased slightly different from the ones before it, I got to the Suggestions box. Now really, what's the only thing Meiou could do to improve its Welcome Week (besides cancel it entirely)?

_CLONE MORE SHUIICHI STUDENT GUIDES. _

"All done!" I said cheerily.

"Great, I'll hand it in for you," my guide smiled back. "And don't worry I won't look at it before I turn it in."

"But what if I want you to see it?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"Alright, see you on Monday, then," waved Kitsune.

"Hold on a sec," I said. "I can still come to you with questions, right?"

"Of course."

"So…"

"So?"

"Are ya gonna give me your phone number or am I gonna have to stalk you?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you didn't count the ungodly hour I had to get up at, the half hour lecture Gan gave, and the survey that only really asked you two questions and spent four pages rephrasing them, today was actually pretty good for a school day. I glanced at my watch. Yep, definitely good. Hell, it was only 10:00 and I was already dismissed for the day (I passed up the invitation to tour the school again on my own) and swapped cell numbers with Kitsune. He'll make a great ally when I attempt to take over Meiou.

I even got home in record time. All that was on my mind now was the pile of video games in my room and the question of which one to play first. The way I figured it, if I was locked in my room long enough Hazuki would give up on asking me to invite the Kuwabaras over and send Hana or Hiro instead. Besides, it's not like I wouldn't keep trying to figure out the mystery of that weird flower in the back of my mind. I do some of my best scheming over _Zelda_.

"Heh…those crazy cuccos…"

Today will be a good day.

"I'm hoooo…me?"

Ever notice how your dreams can be completely and totally shattered when you walk through your front door? That seems to be a reoccurring theme here.

On the living room, Iro was menacingly perched on the couch, which wasn't all that unusual for a bloodthirsty little monster that lived off Human flesh and spleens. What was different was what was in his mouth.

A katana.

Obviously it wasn't a full-sized katana (this one was about the length of two toothpicks), but still—the lizard had a _sword_ in his mouth. Who knows what kind of damage that little bugger could do with it? Oh, and did I mention that Iro was wearing some strange blue haori jacket with a white triangle pattern on the sleeves? Today was going to suck.

"Not even the Shinsengumi would accept a monster like you," I said, sweatdropping.

Iro turned towards me and charged, but I was already halfway up the stairs by then. Ah, the advantage of long legs…

I got to my room, locked and barricaded the door until it was Lizard-Proof. After flipping on the TV and firing up the Wii, it was time for some good old Video Game Therapy. In other words, I spent a good hour attacking the chickens that roamed the ranch in _Zelda_.

"_Twilight Princess_ is so much better when I pretend the cuccos are Iro…"

Hey, I needed to take my rage towards the demonic lizard that roams my _own_ house somewhere, right?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kuroji? Can you come here, please?" I heard Hazuki call.

"Sorry Mom, I'm busy! Can it wait?"

"No, honey. I asked you to go next door to invite the Kuwabaras over, remember?"

"Possibly. Why don't you send one of your other lovely children over to the slaughterhouse instead?"

"Because my other lovely children didn't pick a fight with the neighbor boy. Now, come down and invite them."

"Did you not see the dent on Hiro's bat? The kid meant business!"

"Kuroji…"

"Mom…"

"You gotta eat sometime…"

Dammit.

I flipped off the TV and headed downstairs.

"If I don't come back after an hour, please send the cops over there." I told her as I walked out the door. "They might be able to find my body at least."

It just doesn't seem right, y'know. A guy beats up your friendly, neighborhood child-molester and this is how his mother repays him? By sending him out of the frying pan and into the fire? Oh, Kuroji! Can you go over to that creepy pervo's house and invite him and his family to dinner?

I snorted. Dinner is so overrated. I was better off starving in my room; at least I had video games.

Taking a deep breath, I rang their doorbell and bit my lip. I could hear someone approaching quickly in heels. _Please be Shizuru, please be Shizuru, please be Shizu_—

"H-Hi, Mrs. Kuwabara," I smiled weakly, deciding to leave out the 'My condolences on your son's face.'

"Oh? Ohhhhh!" she squawked and pulled me into a tight hug. "Kuroji-kun from next door! How are you, dear?"

Well, I'll be doing much better once you dislodge my face from your chest, ma'am.

"You're looking just as adorable as you did your first day here! So cuuuuute!" cackled Mrs. Kuwabara, laying on the compliments.

Meanwhile I was suffocating to death.

"Fifi! Come here, darling! We have a visitor!"

Spiffy. If the Orange Beast doesn't kill me, her devil-puppy probably will. Somewhere in the process of deciding which would be worse, I was pulled into her house. Bet it's only a matter of time before I join the real Kuwabaras being held hostage in the basement….if Orange beast decides not to cut me up into Kibbles & Bits first of course. Suddenly I was freed from the dark depths of her DD cups.

"What brings you to our home, Kuroji-kun?" she smiled happily.

The dog on her lap eyed me carefully with a mix of raw anger and hunger. She'd get along great with Iro.

"Um…my mom asked me to invite you guys over for…dinner sometime next week…"

"Ohhhhh! We'd be delighted to come!" she squealed, her eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree on fire. "I'll go let Kazuma know right now, oh!"

Orange Beast seemed to remember something. I was trying to remember what breathing normally felt like. Ugh…I could smell her perfume on _myself_ now…

"Kazuma is outside with a couple of his friends, why don't you go join them and I'll make you all some tea?"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to put you out, ma'am…" I smiled feebly again. "I really should be getting back, anywa—"

"Right this way, Kuroji-kun!" beamed Orange Beast, directing me to their backyard porch.

I looked behind me, Fifi was guarding the front door. Damn, I was trapped! We passed an older looking door on the way the porch. The basement maybe? My sympathy went out the true Kuwabaras that were shackled to the wall down there. Hopefully I wouldn't be joining them anytime soon.

"Kazuuuuuuma! We have a visitor!" squawked the Hellspawn's mother.

I'm not sure whether she sounded like a rabid monkey or a dying donkey. Probably a combination of the two. Then I got to thinking about the "friends" of Kuwabara. What kind of idiots would want to waste their life hanging out with that pedophile? Maybe it was the extreme macho-buffness that he seemed to enjoy boasting. Right. So either his friends had some pretty sick hobbies or they were low-rank yakuza.

Orange Beast opened the door to their porch and I saw him immediately, hard to miss that fiery red hair. My jaw dropped.

"KITSUNE?!"

He turned to face me.

"Eh? Kuroji?"

"Oh, you guys all know each other? I'll go make some tea, then!" Orange Beast smiled and headed back inside.

"Kitsune, is that really you?" I asked, poking him. "You know my idiot neighbor?"

"I could say the same about you!" growled Kuwabara.

"What are you doing here?" Kitsune asked me, just as surprised to see me.

"Well, I don't come here often if that's what you're getting at."

Instead of responding, Kitsune redirected his attention to the sky with a worried expression. Come to think of it, Kuwabara and the other two boys were looking upwards as well.

"What is it? D'ya see something?" I asked, turning around.

"Hello there, boys! I have another assi—Ahh!" exclaimed a familiar-looking girl. "I didn't see you there!"

"Likewise! Where'd you come from?!" I answered. I didn't even hear the back door open at her approach.

"U-Um…I'm an old friend of the family! I come and go by here a lot!"

"Er…aren't you that girl from the other day…Koizumi?" I inquired.

"Y-Yes! What a good memory!" the blue-haired girl spazzed and looked at the others. "Oh! Kurashi! I didn't know you were visiting today! What a complete and total surprise!"

"I think she's lost it…" the guy with short black hair whispered to Kuwabara, who nodded.

"Are you feeling alright, Botan?" asked Kitsune.

"You're such a mean second-cousin sometimes, Kurashi! Ha, ha!" Koizumi laughed nervously after giving Kitsune a friendly punch to the arm.

"'Kurashi?' I thought your name was Shuiichi!" I said, even more confused.

"You know each other?!" the blue-haired girl shouted in disbelief.

"I've been his school guide for the past week, dear cousin," replied Kitsune.

"What the hell is going on here?!" yelled the boy that had been whispering to Kuwabara.

"That's what I wanna know!" I yelled back, grateful that I wasn't the only one that was completely lost.

"Oh, it's actually quite simple," the redhead smiled. "Botan is the only child in her family, so she often visits her extended family and friends to avoid being lonely. Mrs. Kuwabara has been an old friend of her mother's since high school, so she's like an aunt to Botan."

"Yes!" she beamed. "That's exactly right!"

"I am _so sorry_, Koizumi!" I responded immediately, cupping her hands in mine.

"Hey, hey! Don't talk about my mom like that, asshole!" shouted Kuwabara.

"Yes, and among her other talents, Botan has the strangest tendency to name things from shoes to people," the redhead continued, like he was at used breaking up fights between others and did so all the time.

"Yes, it's true! I once named my goldfish Edward Frank Goldy Fishwood III out of boredom!" Botan laughed a little more normally. "I call Shuiichi 'Kurashi' because he was always so full of life since we were kids! Sorry, Akatsuki! I should've explained sooner!"

"S'alright. What do ya call this guy?" I asked her, pointing to Kuwabara. "I was always torn between 'Spawn of Satan' and 'Child-molester…'"

The guy next to Kuwabara almost doubled over laughing.

"WHAT?!" shrieked Kuwabara.

"Carrot," Botan giggled.

"I'm Urameshi Yusuke, and—"

"—I call him Yun-Yun," the blue-haired girl cut him off, smirking at his scowl.

"And you've already met Hiei," sweatdropped Kitsune, gesturing to the boy in back. It took me a minute, but I recognized him as the tree rat I met at Meiou.

"Hn."

"Frog-muffin!"

"F-Frog-muffin?!"

A life, a carrot, a kogal-ish title, and a muffin. Gotta hand it to that Botan, she knows how to name 'em….like she was on something or out for revenge.

"Tea's ready!" Orange Beast called from the doorway.

Grand. Now what was actually _in_ that 'tea' was another question entirely. I tried real hard not to think of that 'casserole' that was given to us on the first day here. Sure it was resting in a three foot hole in the corner of Hazuki's garden, but who knows if it rose from the dead and jumped the fence to be reincarnated as Mrs. Kuwabara's homemade tea? I shutter to think about it.

"Awright! Thanks mom!" Idiot Son chirped. "You make the best tea in the whole world!"

That settles it; I'm leaving as soon as possible.

"K-_Shuiichi_, Yusuke! I don't think you've had it before, right? You'll love it!" Carrot-boy grinned. "I'll even let you have some Hiei…and Akatsuki. So be grateful!"

Hardly. Now it looked like I really was trapped. I had been secretly hoping Kuwabaka would 'punish' me by not letting me join them for tea. Dammit. I looked around for a chance to escape again, but couldn't find one. Everyone was walking towards the sliding door on the porch. Defeated, I turned to Kitsune and propped my arm on his shoulder.

"When we die from food poisoning, do you think they'll miss us at school? Maybe put on a parade in our honor?" I asked.

"Don't let Kuwabara hear you say that," he warned. "and they might miss us, but I wouldn't count on a parade."

"How can you say that with a smil—ow!"

"Move," ordered the tree rat, retracting the hilt of his katana.

"Aren't you a little young to be playing with swords?" I growled, rubbing the back of my head.

All I got back was a snarl as he stormed into the house.

On the contrary, I could see that he was quite used to wielding a sword, given his toned arms, I was just surprised he had one on him. What is it with swordsman and swordslizards attacking me today? Then I saw my redheaded friend look at me strangely.

"What's up? Something on my face?"

"N-No."

"What's the matter, Kitsune?" I laughed, patting his cheek. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"I think I just did…" he muttered.

"Huh?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking that your pendant looks so rare. Was it a gift?"

"What pend—ah!" I spat, looking downwards. Almost forgot I was wearing it. Tree rat's blow must've knocked it loose from underneath my shirt. "Yeah, I got it from my…mother."

A moment of awkward silence passed. Especially strange, since most silences with Kitsune usually felt more natural, almost calming. This was one of those unnerving, heavy silences. It was one of those times where you had to say something, anything, or your brain would explode.

"Okay, Kitsune here's the deal," I whispered. "You protect me from Orange Beast's culinary skills and I'll protect ya from Shorty and his little sword there."

He just laughed and walked inside.

"I'm taking that as a 'yes!'" I shouted, jogging after him.

After I got inside and followed Kitsune to the living room, I heard Orange Beast close the door, mumbling to herself.

"So many new faces today! I hope I made enough tea…"

_The hell? _

We were all seated in the Kuwabara's shockingly yellow living room. This family must be all about bright colors. Which made sense, I suppose—from what I've seen 2/3 of the family members operate on grade-school level. But I digress… Obviously, I sat next to Kitsune and as far away from both carrot-topped monsters as possible. Since it was a pretty big couch we were sitting in, what's his name, Yun-Yun (?) sat on Red's other side. Botan sat on one of the sunshine-colored reclining chairs next to the smaller couch where the Kuwabaras were. Unsurprisingly, tree rat sat by the window sill looking as eager to leave as I felt. Had he not bruised my brain earlier, I might've felt a little sympathy for him.

"Ooh, it's been so long since we've had this much company!" beamed the Orange Beast. "Fifi is so happy!"

The poodle looked positively murderous.

"Did you notice? Fifi and I are wearing matching colors today too!" she squealed.

Anything to take the focus off your face.

"Yusuke-kun, Shuiichi-kun, it's been so long since I've seen you last! How are your mothers?"

"She's doin' good."

"My mother's fine as well."

"And Kuroji-kun! How are you liking the neighborhood?"

"It's nice…" I said, a little at loss for words.

"How lovely!" Orange Beast giggled, yes, _giggled_. It was horrifying. "How's your tea, everyone?"

Botan took a big sip and turned green. Yun-Yun/Yusuke did the same and looked nauseous. Apparently Carrot-boy was the only one impervious to arsenic.

"It's great, Mom!" he grinned.

"Yes…it's…delicious," added Botan, who now had my vote for toughest chick in Tokyo.

Yusuke tried to nod, but then looked dizzier.

"It's very good, Mrs. Kuwabara," smiled Kitsune.

"Hn."

How in the name of all that's magical were they not affected?! Did they not have tastebuds or something? Before Orange Beast could question me, however, I noticed Kitsune slowly gesture to the small dish his teacup rested on with his thumb. It had a little tea on that was slowly being absorbed by the napkin he had rolled up in his hand. When did he…?

"How is it, Kuroji-kun?" she finally asked.

Oh, it's awesome," I grinned after taking a fake sip. "Wish the tea I made always turned out this good."

"Oh, you kids are too kind," giggled (Again! Arrgh!) the woman in bright pink, pleased with our answers.

As soon as Orange Beast turned her head to say something to her son, I copied Kitsune's trick with the napkin. My stomach thanked him over and over.

From then on, I zoned in and out of the conversation Orange Beast made with her son, Botan, and Kitsune. Yusuke looked about ready to pass out and tree rat was preoccupied with staring the poodle down. I wasn't sure which one to cheer on. On one hand the black-haired boy was a prick, but on the other, Fifi was the only thing stopping me from making a break for the door. Sinking deeper into my depression, I faked another swig of swill and fixed the fake smile on my face.

"So I understand you two attend the same school?" Mrs. Kuwabara asked, directing the question at the redhead and I.

"Uh-huh," I answered.

"I was even his guide for Meiou's Welcome Week," said Kitsune.

"Yeah, I really lucked out," I grinned. "I was worried he'd be a jerk or something!"

Now I felt the brat's deathglare move from Fifi to me. I didn't even say anything about him. Do all the tiny creatures of this world have some instinctive hatred towards me? Did I piss off the wrong Chibi God of all that is chibi? No, he must have been reincarnated as the red-eyed, katana-wielding boy attempting to telekinetically scorch me into the couch.

"What's the matter, Frog-muffin?" I asked, using the nickname Botan provided. "You look a little lonely in that corner all by yourself. Maybe you should sit by Fifi there?"

Half the room looked at me like I just called the Grim Reaper a sniveling, shit-stained, two-year-old brat. The other half (i.e. the other two on the yellow couch with me) looked at Hiei, then me, and then each other as if they couldn't decide to duck in cover or fall over laughing. Orange Beast recovered the fastest and rushed over to the Angry One, Fifi in tow.

"Honey, if you wanted to see Fifi that badly, you should've just said something!"

"T-That's okay, I'm fine," growled the tree rat, cringing at the poodle thrust into his face.

"Oh, dear! Look at the time!" Botan exclaimed as she leapt to her feet. "We really should be leaving soon, right boys?!"

"True," agreed Kitsune, checking his watch. "I promised my mother I'd help her with dinner. Weren't you coming over today too, Yusuke?"

"Y-Yeah!"

The three started making their way over to the door.

"I'd better get going too, or my mom'll worry!" I added.

"Too bad, next time you'll all have to stay longer!" Orange Beast pouted.

"Sure…" I lied through my teeth.

"Thanks for having us!" the cousins chorused, and we were all out the door.

"That was a close one…" I sighed, balling up my tea-stained napkin. "Damn, Kitsune, you really saved my ass back there."

"After a while, you learn a few things," he replied, also crumpling his napkin. "I usually just toss them into the closest wastebasket when no one's looking."

"So that's why you didn't have a near-death experience with that witch's brew!" complained Yusuke. "Shit, I was watching my life flash before my eyes while you guys were discussing the weather!"

"I wondered how you always did it…" the blue-haired girl said with a finger to her chin.

"Well since you taught me a good survival tactic for living in this neighborhood, I'll get rid of that poisonous napkin for you," I said to Kitsune.

"Thanks…"

No sooner had he placed it in my hand that it burst into flames.

"What the--?!" I yelled, dropping them in surprise. They turned to ashes before hitting the ground.

"Hiei!" scolded Kitsune, turning to the boy on the front steps.

Of course the kid just scoffed at me and left at his usual light speed. If I still had my wings, he'd know what a mouse felt like.

"Sorry about that," offered the redhead. "He gets carried away with his pranks sometimes…"

"There's an understatement!" exclaimed the other boy. "Once he almost fried my damned _arm_ off!"

"Wasn't that because you tie-dyed his bandana when he was sleeping?"

"…Maybe."

"Don't worry about it," I laughed. "I was gonna burn them up anyway!"

"That's…nice," responded Kitsune. "I guess I'll see you at school, then,"

"Yeah, 'cause after this incident, you don't have to worry about me stalking you!"

"It was good to see you again, Kuroji!" waved Botan. "Bye-bye!"

"See ya…"

Still couldn't figure out why the hell Kitsune was friends with a pedophile and a pyro, among others, but to each his own, I guess. Now then….how many life-endangering situations did I survive his week? Maybe I shouldn't try counting, I only have ten fingers.

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 7**

**::A/N::**

Neko: What's this…a plot? Mwa ha ha…

Yusuke: Yun-Yun?! You called let them call me Yun-Yun?!

Neko: Yes. I was bored and you guys were a convenient comedy relief.

Yusuke: Bitch…I can't believe Hiei's putting up with his 'nickname.'

Neko: Who says he is? _(points to very angry Jagan master summoning a very angry dragon)_

Hiei: Jaou…Ensatsu…

Yusuke: This doesn't _worry_ you, why?

Neko: _(holds up bag)_ Goes with the marshmallows!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Cuccos** (um…Hylian?) Cuccos (or 'Devil Hens' as I like to call them) are the chickens that appear in the _Zelda_ video game series. Yes, you really can attack them with your sword or trample them with your horse, but then they attack you.

**Shinsengumi** (Jap.) The Shinsengumi were a special police force during the late shogunate. The "shisen" means "new chosen" and "gumi" means "team" or "group." They were originally known as the Miburo ("Ronin of Mibu") because they were located in Mibu, but gained the name "Wolves of Mibu" which is pronounced the same. Iro's wearing a similar haori (jacket worn over the kimono) to their uniform's.

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific used to express familiarity or endearment with boys.

**Yakuza** (Jap.) Japanese gangstas, yo.

**Yun-Yun** (Jap.) took the "Yu" from "Yusuke" and added and "n." Can't really remember where I first heard this nickname, but I recently saw it done for Yuki in _Fruits Basket_.

**Kogal** (Jap.) the "Ko" means "girl" or "child" in this case. The "gal" is actually borrowed from English, so it means the same thing there as it does here. Kogals are known for being very materialistic, popular, and come up with nicknames that sound cute for themselves or others. Using _Fruits Basket_ as an example again, think Kimi.

**Chibi** (Jap.) "Little"


	8. Chapter 8

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Chapter eight! In which SHIT GETS FIGURED OUT. Yes. Finally, huh?

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Thanks for all the love, people! It put me in a better mood as I was throwing random crap into random boxes and calling it "packing for college."

Kuro: It's a wonder they accepted you.

Neko: Suckers didn't require a screening for slightly psychotic insomniacs.

Kuro: "Slightly psychotic?" More like "Crazy-ass evil spirit witch-cat-thing that runs on pure sugar and crack."

Neko: You sound like my old R.A.

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"Pendant?"

The necklace over my t-shirt glinted in the sunset. Check.

"Nutritional Supplements and Rations?"

I tossed a few marshmallows into my mouth and took a sip of Mountain Dew. Check.

"Communication Device?"

I patted the cellphone in my back pocket. Check.

"Comfy throw blanket borrowed from Hazuki without her knowledge?"

My fingers brushed against the soft cotton blanky I was currently sitting on. Check.

"Okay, Youko! You can come out any time now!" I shouted at the sky. "I can stay out here all night this time, you bastard!!"

Grinning to myself, I leaned back against the Creepy Tree in the Creepy Park. This time, I'd catch that sneaky fox for sure….or at least figure out the Creepy Flower.

"…Or get stood up again," I frowned.

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I don't know when it was exactly that I started dozing off. The sun had set long ago and I killed about an hour watching the sky change from orange and red to an endless black. Afterwards, I remember toying around with my cellphone and losing to myself at Solitaire for a while too. I hate that game; I only play it when I get frustrated, which usually ends up turning into 52 Pick-Up with actual cards.

But anyways, after the moon was out, I started thinking of my old life. Sometimes I forget just how much I miss the Makai. Sure, the majority of its residents were a little unfriendly and parts of it smelled funny, but I still considered it my true home no matter what the Ningenkai had to offer me.

Not that I didn't appreciate my human family and friends. Hazuki was all I could ask for in a mother and more. Hana and Hiro annoyed me to hell sometimes, but I enjoyed playing the role of big brother more than once to them. Something I never really got a chance to do in Makai. Then there's Kitsune, who also seems like a cool enough person…for a human. Or whatever the hell he is. He sort of strikes me as the sort of person Youko could have become if he hadn't been born with an obsession for all things shiny then left on his own while he was barely old enough to toddle. Ha, Youko with a 'kind and loving family,' wouldn't that be interesting to see?

For a moment, I dreaded Youko showing up and asking me to return to Makai with him. Shit, I honestly wouldn't know what to do. I left so much of me in the Demon Realm, but I now have a new life here that I don't want to just leave behind. It's practically a lose-lose situation. This really wasn't my kind of thing. Way back when, I'd just ask Kurama what to do. The great wise kitsune always seemed to know the answer…

'_Could he tell me what to do now?_' I thought to myself. "Youko, where the hell are you…?"

Whenever it was that I started resting my eyes, I snapped awake when I felt a small burst of youki surround me. I was startled at first, but relaxed quickly.

It was Kurama's youki.

Stepping away from the tree I carefully studied my surroundings. I was officially the happiest koumori ever. Besides the tree and the red flower, the scenery had changed completely to my old stomping grounds in Makai. Nothing had changed a bit. Sensing a sharper burst of Youko's energy to my left, I turned to face him where I expected him to appear.

Sure enough, not five seconds later a silver kitsune leapt over the brush and sprinted over towards me. Poor guy looked like he had been running a marathon. The weird aura bothered me as well. He didn't feel happy or sad or even angry. Youko almost seemed….empty.

"Kurama!!" I shouted in my excitement, waving my arms like an idiot.

It was really him, no mistake. Even in his fox form, I'd be able to recognize him anywhere. I was finally able to reunite with the best friend I hadn't seen in almost two decades. I could finally tell him everything—how much I missed him, how he wasn't at fault over my last mission, and every single detail of my life as Kuroji, down to the horrible cooking and sociopathic lizards.

He raced past me as if he hadn't seen me at all.

"Kurama?" I called after him while he leapt over another patch of bushes on the other side of the clearing. I blinked in shock. What was he doing?

"Get your furry ass back here, Youko!!"

The chase wasn't long and I had no problem keeping up with my old friend. Hell, it was almost like he wasn't even trying. I even saw him slip up on a few upturned roots. Very un-Youkolike behavior. We both know the area like the back of our hands. Something was wrong here.

Then I picked up a few more energy signals nearby, bounty hunters no doubt. Not too long after came the yelling and shouting.

"_Amateur_ bounty hunters…" I corrected myself, craning my head over my shoulder to get a better estimate of their location.

They were carrying guns, but they were so scattered and uncoordinated, they couldn't even hope to be in my league, much less Youko's. I could just pretend they weren't even here at this point. The mosquitoes in the air were more threatening than their entire hunting party combined. La-me.

A gunshot rang out. I dodged it easy and chuckled. Did they really think that would slow us down? I glanced ahead of me at Youko.

He wasn't getting out of the way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"KURAMA!!!" I screamed, jumping up so quickly that I nearly crashed into one of the lower branches of the tree I had fallen asleep under.

Somehow I was back in the park with a wrinkled blue blanket and a bag of spilled marshmallows.

"Wh-What the…?!" I said in disbelief, wiping the sweat off my forehead and trying to get my breathing under control.

That couldn't have been a dream. It felt even more real than the nightmares about my death. That's what it was—a nightmare. The Youko I know would never….

I shook my head angrily.

He didn't make any move to dodge that spirit-charged bullet at all. It was almost like Youko _let_ himself be shot. Which didn't make any sense at all. He would never allow himself to be caught that easily. That kitsune had way too much pride. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't.

"Kurama…" I whispered.

I started feeling sick. My chest felt heavy and my insides felt like ice shards melting and dripping through my blood. What was with this place and weird dreams? It's one thing to dream about Makaiin landscapes, but to dream about my best friend dying, possibly on purpose? I think those marshmallows and Mountain Dew was starting to disagree with me. I had to get out of here.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I tossed everything into my backpack and hit the streets faster than you can say 'Tree-rat.' Forget waiting here for Youko tonight. This whole place just keeps messing with my head. I decided on taking a little walk before heading home. Best not to let Hiro or even the Lizard to catch me in a mood like this, because I'm pretty sure I'd punch a hole through the wall.

Honestly now, where were all the serial killers and rapists? Tokyo was a big city, so you'd think there'd be plenty, right? They need signs or jackets or something. Even better, little tree forts above all the shadier jogging paths! That way, I could go for a run, work off all this stress on Japan's Most Wanted, and get a little exercise in the process.

But I'm not in it for the violence, no, not at all. There's just something oddly satisfying about kicking the shit out of ningen with egos the size of their planet.

"They off a coupla unsuspecting victims half their size and they automatically assume they've been promoted to Godhood," I muttered, turning into another dark alley.

I might be a little cocky at times, but even I knew not to get so over-confident, that I actually trip over my own ego. Of course, that was easier to do in my youkai-form, but I always had the support of a certain spiteful, bi-polar fox to put me in my place when my gloating got too bad.

From the alleyway, I hung a left onto a poorly lit sidewalk. Up ahead was the remains of a former shopping center that was being torn down. I couldn't exactly remember what they were building in its place, but that wasn't the point. The point was it was practically abandoned and would make a cheery home for any crook on the run. Possibly a low-class demon as well, but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

I stretched out with mind to see if any high energy levels were present. I found quite a few very quickly. Most of them were scattered, but I wasn't complaining. What kind of normal human hung out in a place like this during the darker hours of two a.m.?

"Let's see…there's about five or so of them in there…" I murmured to myself, mentally counting them off. "Human…human…thing…human…"

I paused, mid-count and focused on one energy level in particular.

"…A youkai?!" I beamed.

Maybe this day was looking up for me.

I snuck in through a crumbling portion of the old wall with little difficulty. Sometimes I wonder why construction workers even try. Leaving gaping holes in the outer walls that are supposed to keep people out only makes the crazies want to get in more. They might as well stick a blinking light over the worn down section that reads: 'ENTER HERE.' I could tell that at least three people had taken this way recently by the nearby footprints. The best part? One of the tracks had protruding claws. I'm not here a week, and I already get to fight a youkai.

"I love Tokyo…"

Off a few hundred yards, I could see a flashlight skim over the upper rafters that stuck out in all directions over the remains of the food court. That had to be a working violation right there. There was a faint shout, and the flashlight went out.

I knew whoever was holding the flashlight was fine. Their reiki remained stable, and the only youki I could confirm was in the opposite direction. Still, to have a working flashlight and shut it off in a place like this was crazy for a normal person. It was almost like they were looking for something. Maybe even the same youkai I was after.

"No way am I losing my first real fight in Tokyo to some thrill-seeking human rebel…" I hissed, and took off towards the demon I sensed earlier.

Sticking to the higher rafters, I crossed over the two daredevils without a second glace. All I had on my mind now was beating the snot out of the youkai I was after. Okay, maybe I was getting a little carried away. First I'd watch them in secret for a few minutes to determine if they needed to have their head kicked in or not.

A feminine scream tore through the air in the same direction of the demon in question.

Fuck getting carried away. I was going to personally tear down the old furniture store with his face.

I leapt over the final wall separating me from my enemy and launched a powerful kick towards the toad-like demon's head. I barely had time to notice that the girl backing away from him was Botan. Then again, even if I did have the time to recognize her as the blue-haired girl from earlier, it wouldn't have changed a thing. I was too surprised with her second savior's actions against the youkai. You see, I had started to jump kick the bastard….at the same time Kitsune decided to.

Almost felt bad for Toadie. His neck didn't snap. Oh, no, it _shattered_.

That was the last thing I heard before all three of us were caught up in the recoil from both kicks and took a tumble. Toadie was gone before he hit the ground. Understandable, considering that every bone in his upper spine was now resembled chalk dust. Surprisingly, Red recovered from the cross-kick at about the same time I did. Impressive for a Hanyou/Alien/Thing. But the real surprise is the force he packed into that kick. Hell, my leg was still stinging from the unexpected attack.

"The Cousins!" I exclaimed.

"Kuroji?" Kitsune ventured, sounding just as confused as I was.

Several other power levels immediately flared up from what seemed to be right below us. I'd have to ask questions later, I don't think Toadie was the only demon in this place. An especially dangerous youki was floating right above me. I raised my own to ward it off.

"You have to get out of here!" we both yelled at each other in unison.

Botan crouched behind a crate near Kitsune as the underground forces came closer. I raised my own youki level to let them know exactly who they were messing with. Suddenly the youki I had just sensed floating around me flared up.

I shielded my eyes and glanced around me. It definitely wasn't Botan, and the other energies I sensed were still a little ways away. Toadie was deader than a human in the Dark Tournament, so it could only be coming from….

A torrent of tiny mini-toad demons burst from the ground at once. Within seconds, Kitsune and I where encircled by what had to by at least a hundred smaller versions of the youkai we had just killed.

"This just isn't my day…" I complained.

"Really, now?" asked the redhead with one arched eyebrow, before turning his attention to his cousin. "Botan! It's too dangerous here! Use your oar to get higher up!"

"But—!"

"Don't worry about it; you're an easy target as long as you stay on the ground with this many of them here!"

The blue-haired girl still looked a little unsure, but nodded to Kitsune and pulled out a boat oar from nowhere. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she summoned it similar to how I summon my sythes.

And then she started floating upwards on it.

"How the hell—?!"

I didn't get a chance to finish that statement. The horde of amphibians started lunging at us from all directions. Crap, I don't care how connected with the supernatural world these two were, if I were to use my powers and they somehow figured out what I was, there'd be no end to my problems. Kitsune'd probably be able to keep my secret, but I have a feeling Botan might accidentally blab to everyone she knew that I was a demon. Then Reikai'd probably send their Tantei on my ass and I'd have to leave my human family.

To say I took out my frustration on the pack of toad youkai would be an understatement.

After splitting open another toad head with a well-placed kick for the umpteenth time, I stole a glance to where the first ugly frog-thing was laying. Or at least where he _should_ have been laying, drowned in a pool of his own black, slimy blood. The little bastard was gone. All that was left was a dark puddle of bodily fluids and god knows what else. We were dealing with Kappa.

"Shit…"

Kappa, the water sprites and one of my least favorite youkai to deal with. They weren't particularly strong, far from it in fact, Kappa are just dreary, neurotic, ugly, little cretins. When I first started retraining myself as Kuroji, they made perfect targets. If they had been morally good, I would have allowed them to live in hopes of later corrupting them once my powers developed. If they had been morally bad, I would have let them live on in hopes of fucking up the world. But no, these guys are so utterly weak and downright _whiny_, that they're often seen as an embarrassment to all demonkind. In fact, I was surprised how many I found around Kyoto since most of their kind had been hunted to extinction in Makai.

I just couldn't figure out what they were doing here. Normally Kappa don't stray to far from their rivers or ponds for fear that the water resting in the dent on their foreheads would dry up. Come to think of it, these guys didn't even have much of an indent for water. And with the way they were charging at Kitsune and I, they seemed to have no fear for losing whatever water was there to begin with. Maybe they weren't Kappa?

"Eeek!" squealed a voice.

I turned just in time to see Botan being attacked by a group of Toadies that had managed to climb onto the steel skeleton of the former mall and pull at the end of her floating oar to weigh her down. Only problem was that she was still a good 25 feet in the air. Forget fitting in, it was Death-Sythe Summoning Time!

With a flash of youki, I called forth my twin sythes of doom. And for those of you wondering, yes, they do have names. The left one's Stella, and the right one's Luna. See? You don't have to be a kogal to come up with bizarre nicknames that only a select few understand.

Stopping only to hack and slash my way through the three Kappa in my way, I sprinted towards the toads attacking the floating girl. Not that it mattered.

"K-Kurama!" the blue-haired girl shouted.

I was instantly frozen in place at the sharp youki that suddenly burst from whatever Botan had been clutching in her hands. Rose petals as sharp as razors raced downwards at the toadies grappling with the end of Botan's oar. Fuuka Enbujin at its best.

I picked my jaw off the ground and dismissed my blades back into the wind. Botan landed safely near Red, thanking him many times over. My own youki increased with my shock. It was like a response to a verbal slap in the face.

Did she just call Kitsune .…'Kurama?'

"You're a Demon?!" Kitsune and I simultaneously shouted at each other.

Suddenly it all made sense. The accent, the similar habits, the weird auras, the overall mysteriousness….I had suspected that Kitsune was connected to Makai all along, but now I finally had the proof. This guy was without a doubt, Youko Kurama.

Kitsune's (or should I say 'Kurama's') aura vanished just as quickly as it appeared. I followed suit. Now it was one big staredown until the rest of the mall-dwellers showed up. Unsurprisingly, it turned out to be Kuwabaka, Urameshi, and the tree-rat.

"You," I stated, pointing to the redhead. "Have got an awful lot of explaining to do!"

"Where to begin…" he sweatdropped.

I stared them all down again until I felt my stomach grumble a bit. Guess I worked up an appetite from all that Kappa-crushing.

"IHOP," I answered simply. "It all begins at IHOP…"

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**(A/N: I felt bad about taking so long to update, so I added the three side stories about the Tantei's version of the construction site a chapter early. Like the earlier side story, it's in third person POV.)**

**Bonus Side Story 1: The Doofus & The Delinquent **

As soon as the Tantei and their ferrygirl assistant had entered the abandoned construction site, each had second thoughts about their mission.

"How're we supposed to find that puny little demon in a gynormous place like this?!" Kuwabara complained.

"Can't it wait?" Yusuke grumbled. "I'm losing sleep because of this!"

"How can you be _losing_ sleep?" asked the ferrygirl. "You sleep through all your classes at school anyway."

"Why else would I go?"

"I can't believe you!"

"If the three of you would like to get this mission done quickly, I would suggest keeping your voices down." Kurama sweatdropped.

"Oops!" squeaked Botan, covering her mouth. "Sorry! You're right!"

"Hn," the fire demon snorted. "You four have fun; I'll find our target on my own."

And with that, he flitted off into the shadows of the fallen You Are Here maps and the piles of Styrofoam coffee cups.

"Stupid jerk, always ditchin' us…" the other swordsman growled in frustration.

"Aw, let him go, the last thing we need is you two getting into a fight in some place that could fall down at any second anyway," noted Yusuke, brushing off his companion's quick exit.

As the group continued on, the pathways got narrower and their patience wore thinner.

"Okay, maybe Hiei was right about splitting up," Yusuke sweatdropped after waiting for Kuwabara and Botan to climb up the third unsteady mountain of pipework. "We're never gonna find the demon like this."

Yusuke wouldn't have minded going off on his own either. He was used to moving around places with "Danger: Do Not Enter" posted every twenty feet from his childhood of playing in places with convicted signs. Kurama also seemed at home in the dangerous terrain, from his years of experience in Makai. Poor Botan and Kuwabara however were neither raised in the slums or highly-trained thieves. Both were also told not to use their reiki, so they wouldn't give themselves away to the enemy. This meant no floating oars.

"I don't like the idea of leaving either of them on their own," commented the redhead.

"Yeah, I see your point," Yusuke sweatdropped, watching Kuwabara trip on a broken bottle and nearly fall of the rusty pipe pile. "Groups of two, then?"

"Sounds good."

And that's how the two human detectives found themselves crawling through hollowed out walls of the food court twenty minutes later.

"Urameshi, I don't like this," Kuwabara whispered. "It's way too dark here and I sense something weird."

"We'll give ya a medal later, now would you please focus on finding the demon so I can get back to sleep?" the boy ahead of him replied.

"Seriously, there's something out there…"

"Yeah, a demon, the one you're supposed to be tracking with your spiritual awareness."

"Whatever. It's been bugging me for awhile now," Kuwabara answered sternly, fumbling for his flashlight. "I don't like having to get around this place in the dark. At least the entrance had a little light."

With a click of the switch, a beam of light shone from the carrot-topped boy's flashlight.

"Much better."

"You idiot!" Yusuke shouted, swatting the tool from his friend's hands. "Are you trying to give us away or something?!"

"I just don't want to trip when I have to charge into battle against that demon-guy!"

"And how do you expect to find him if you keep shining that stupid thing around like that?!"

"Oh, yeah?! What do we do if we do run into him in the dark?! Don't act like you can see any better in this place than I can!"

"Well at least I'm not running into every freaking thing we walk by!"

"I didn't run into everything!"

"You ran into a Hot Dog stand...how many people do you know have run into Hot Dog stands?!"

As the two Tantei continued arguing over the pros and cons of flashlights, neither noticed the presence above them pass by without a sound. It was only until several auras flared up at once that the boys snapped out of their argument.

"Is that the demon?!" shouted the dark-haired detective.

"I'm not sure, but I don't recognize it," Kuwabara frowned, trying to get a better reading. "Whatever it is, I think it's fighting…Kurama? Must be, 'cause he's a hard one to sense sometimes. It's like he has some filter over his energy or something."

"I don't care about that! Where are they?!"

"Uh, that way…?" the psychic pointed to his right unsurely.

"Let's go!"

"Hold on, Urameshi."

"What now?!"

"We're using my flashlight."

**Bonus Side Story 2: The Fox & The Ferrygirl**

In other, slightly less cluttered areas of the abandoned shopping mall, Kurama and Botan made their way through the crumbling hallways of what once may have been a lobby. Although that portion had a lot of lose brickwork near the edges of the walls, there was considerably less debris if one stayed near the center of the room. Which was exactly what Botan was doing.

"This definitely wasn't in my job description…" she mumbled as she carefully tested the tiled floor before taking another step. "It all looks like it could collapse at any moment."

"You'll be fine as long as you stay away from all the unleveled areas with cracks," Kurama assured her.

"How can you tell?" the ferrygirl asked. "It's so dark here; I can barely see my hand in front of my face!"

"I'm a demon, remember?"

"So that automatically makes you able to see in the dark?" she joked.

"No, but being a kitsune does," the former thief laughed. "Kitsune have much more power at night because we can draw power from the moon. Basically, it enhances my senses."

"Oh, I didn't know that," Botan answered, noting for the first time how his green eyes practically glowed in the moonlight. "Can all demons do that?"

"No, just those directly affected by the sun or moon," he replied. "Kind of like how werewolves become stronger at night, but a phoenix gains power with the sun. It all depends on the type of youkai."

"So, you'll be able to tell where our target is ahead of time?"

"Hopefully," smiled Kurama. "But it wouldn't hurt to take a few precautions."

Reaching behind his neck, the fox pulled out a rose and handed it to Botan.

"Hang on to this for me."

"Huh? What good will it do me?" the confused ferrygirl questioned, but took the rose nonetheless. "I can't use it to fight."

"True, but even if I'm not holding on to it myself, I can," the redhead smiled reassuringly.

"Oh! Thank you!" Botan exclaimed happily. "Do you really think we'll find the target first?"

"Who can say?" the kitsune shrugged. "Hiei's pretty good at tracking people, Kuwabara has a strong spiritual awareness, and Yusuke has a lot of luck. I'd say our chances are about equal to theirs."

"How strong do you think our guy is anyway?"

"I wouldn't worry too much," answered Kurama. "The report Koenma gave us classified him as Class D and if he was much stronger than that, he'd stand out a lot more."

"That's good," Botan said with a sigh of relief.

She was still a little edgy of trying to hunt down a youkai in the middle of the night, but hearing that he shouldn't be able to do too much damage made things a lot less nerve-racking. Botan hadn't been too thrilled about Koenma assigning the Tantei to fight an enemy in the middle of some abandoned mall in the dark from the beginning.

Lost in her own thoughts, the blue-haired girl nearly ran straight into her guide's arm when he suddenly slowed down and raised it to stop her.

"Wh-What is it, Kurama?"

"I think I just found our target…and then some."

"What do you mea—Ahhhh!!" she screeched as soon as she saw him.

It wasn't that he was attacking her, or that he was committing some kind of crime against humanity. No, Botan didn't start screaming until she caught a good glimpse of him in the light.

She could handle Ugly, but this guy was _Ichigaki_ Ugly.

**Bonus Side Story 3: The Flametastic Frog-muffin **

Getting around the old construction site was no problem for Hiei. In fact, for this particular fire demon it was more of a warm-up exercise than anything. He leapt across suspended framework with the greatest of ease, he sped across broken glass without so much as stubbing his toe, and he laughed in the face of faded posters with "stylish" clothing being advertised.

Okay, so he didn't really laugh. Besides being "un-cool" and therefore completely out of character for the Jagan master, it might have given away his position. But he smirked! Yes, Hiei _smirked_ in the face of a particularly badly dressed ningen model. They could have been the poster child for whatever store Suzuki shopped at.

Anyway, as he made his way across the abandoned mall with his third eye searching out his target, Hiei had a lot of time to think.

Sometimes Hiei would think about his little sister (and the easiest way to deep-fry the buffoon enamored by her). Hiei would try to rationalize why she was so determined to find the brother he was certain she would only be disappointed by.

'_Or worse…the brother she might grow to hate…_' he thought somberly.

He shook his head. Both Kurama and Yusuke had told him several times that it was impossible for Yukina to hate him. Yusuke even added with a laugh that he was pretty sure it was impossible for someone like Yukina to hate anyone or _anything_, much less the brother that had secretly been protecting her for her entire life.

But isn't everyone capable of hate? He would ask himself. Why not Yukina? How did she feel about the corrupted humans that imprisoned her for so long?

"Maybe that's why the fox chooses his words a little more wisely than the detective…" he muttered to himself. "Baka kitsune knows exactly how to word things to make it impossible to argue with him."

'_And when that doesn't work, he just goes Youko.' _

During his scan for the target youkai, Hiei did a quick check on the others. Not that they needed it, he reminded himself. He was just bored.

As his third eye reached out across the remains of the mall, he noted that they had split up. Yusuke was doing a decent job of hiding his reiki for once, but Kuwabara was freely using his reiki for a more than likely idiotic purpose by Hiei's resoning.

'_Fool. Probably trying to hunt down our little target with his spiritual awareness while giving himself away in the process. Absolutely brilliant._'

Kurama took a little more time to find, so the Jagan master decided to focus on finding Botan instead. He doubted any of his teammates would let her wander off by herself. Shortly after that thought, he managed to trace her energy to the partially built lobby of some store in the distance. After searching a little harder, Hiei was able to pick up the smallest trace of a youkai near her.

'_That must be Kurama, then_,' he smirked, mentally congratulating himself on finding his friend. The former thief was a master at hiding his youki, and somehow got even better at it once he was reborn as Shuiichi. Once, Kurama had told him that he could freely combine or separate his energy level into two different wavelengths, one for him and one for Youko. He had also mentioned that he learned to hide one behind another to throw off the numerous youkai that attacked him as a child in search of the infamous fox spirit.

"_My kindergarten teachers never liked it when slime ogres would appear on the playground during recess_," he recalled Kurama saying, even though he couldn't recall what the hell a 'recess' was for the life of him.

'Probably another one of those 'School' terms…' he thought with a frown.

Normally, Hiei could care less about 'School' and anything related to it, until recently. Now whenever he got on the topic of 'School,' it would lead to the topic of 'Kurama's School,' because that was the only one he had any experience with. And now of course, when he would think of 'Kurama's School' he would think of the 'Annoying Ningen' that inhabited it, or more specifically, Kuroji.

Hiei did not like Kuroji.

He wasn't sure of the exact reason the mere sight of the black-haired boy made him want to turn him into shish-kebab on the spot, but he had a few ideas. First of all, Hiei didn't like how Kuroji was nice to almost anyone he met. It had to be an act, of course. By Hiei's logic the only exception to the rule was Yukina and possibly Kurama.

In that same vein, Hiei despised Kuroji's over-friendliness with others. It was almost like as soon he learned someone's name; he was instantly buddy-buddy with them. It was enough that Hiei wasn't overly keen about that behavior alone, seeing it over and over again made it seem all the more obnoxious. The fact that Kuroji seemed particularly fond of hanging all over Kurama (_his_ friend, not Kuroji's) after only knowing him for a short period of time was just adding salt to the wound.

Of course, the whole suspicious factor couldn't be ignored. If there was one thing Hiei hated (besides idiots), it was doubting himself (especially when the source of that doubt could be traced to idiots). And did Kuroji ever fit the bill. From the moment he first met him, Hiei had a bad feeling about him. Even more so when his Jagan failed to confirm whether the boy was human or not. Kuroji's aura was weird to say the least, which ended up throwing Hiei off somewhere between unsure and slightly paranoid. Kuroji had to be hiding something, he was sure of it.

Then again, maybe Hiei just didn't like being called "Tree-rat."

Either way, Hiei did not like Kuroji.

Between jumping over the side of the second floor railing and landing on the first floor of the old mall Hiei swore to himself that the next time he met the boy, _he_ would be the one sacrificed to the poodle of death, not Hiei. Maybe then the fool would learn to leave him and his friends (or, "Allies" as Hiei preferred to call them. Yes, The Great Hiei did not have "friends" he had "_allies_") alone for a change. Life was better when he didn't have to wrack his brain or Jagan trying to figure out what the hell Kuroji was, or what his possible motives for being so annoying were.

Then he sensed it.

Youki far too weak to belong to either himself or Kurama. An energy signature almost so pitiful that it was hard to hone in on, even with the Jagan assisting him. It only seemed to be coming from one source, and that source seemed stupid enough to make itself known in a close vicinity to where Kurama currently was.

Hiei briefly debated against racing against the clock to see if he could get a chance to kill the target before his companion or not. Around when he settled on taking his time to meet up with the others, he sensed another energy level.

"What the…?"

This burst of youki flared up at about the same time as Kurama's, and was at about the same level as well. Not long after that, Hiei picked up several dozen more traces of youki, but at the same level as the first weakling. From the way they kept vanishing, it was a safe bet that Kurama and the other unknown fighter were taking them out before turning on each other. If that were to happen, they might actually have a real fight on their hands.

"Hn," smirked the fire demon, increasing his speed to the battlefield. "This might actually be worth my time after all..."

Little did he know of the future Pancake Horrors in store for him and his companions.

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 8**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Look, Kuro, you finally figured out who Kurama was in the fic! And it only took eight chapters! _(prances)_

Kuro: Eight is a lot. Why're you so happy, anyhow?

Neko: I can finally type "Kurama" instead of "Kitsune!" You have _no_ idea how many times I kept screwing that up when I was writing the other chapters! And by the way, I have no idea if they have IHOP in Japan. All I know is that it was late, I was hungry, and I had IHOP. That, and I was too lazy to look up an authentic Japanese franchise. Mmm, pancakes…

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Makai** (Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**Kappa** (Jap.) "River Child" A water-sprite.

**Stella & Luna** (Lat.) "Star" and "Moon" respectively. The little joke here is that there's a children's book called _Stellaluna_ about a bat by the same name. I originally had a very different set of names for Kuro's sythes, but decided to use them elsewhere.

**Tantei** (Jap.) "Detective"

**Fuuka Enbujin** (Jap.) "Wind Petal Waltz Configuration" The defensive technique Kurama used against Karasu in the Dark Tournament.

**Baka** (Jap.) "Stupid" "Fool" "Idiot"


	9. Chapter 9

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Chapter nine! Good Question: Do pancakes and bats mix? Better Question: Do pancakes and fire demons mix?

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Thanks again for all the support!

Kuro: Can I take over Japan now?

Neko: No. I have questions to answer and others to BS.

Kuro: Great…

Neko: First of all, **Black-Empress** and **ForgottenKaze**, I appreciate the constructive criticism. I'll try to make this chapter funnier. Also, there is a very good reason that Wiis and modern cellphones were included in a fic that should have taken place in the 90's (when YYH took place). And that reason is simply this: My brain died.

Kuro: Why am I not surprised?

Neko: So utilizing my Authoress Powers of Doom, I have fixed this problem by making it Alternate Universe! (I also added AU to the Warnings section) While writing _Anem_, I never had a set place in the timeline that it occurred, and this way I don't need one! So just pretend that the events of the anime/manga happened a few years later and very, very out of order. So this would be somewhere between the end of the Sensui Saga, but before the Makai Tournament Saga. Or something.

Kuro: ……What?

Neko: Okay, scratch that. Let's just say this takes place sometime after the second YYH movie...whenever the hell that happened. You can still expect references to the anime/manga series through the end of the Sensui saga, and probably a few from the end of the series. It all depends on how sleep-deprived I am when writing. If you should notice anything that makes absolutely no sense, congratulations! Those are called NEFUs! (**Ne**ko **Fu**ck-ups!) If it's really bad, like say, not even clarifying when the story takes place; let me know and I'll try to clear it up. Or make something up. Depends.

Kuro: Any more ramblings you'd like to get out of you, cat?

Neko: Not quite, just a very tragic discovery I made the other day.

Kuro: Tree-rat's a natural blonde?

Neko: Worse. **LoveAnime18**, **Random Person that PM'd me**, and anyone else concerned... IHOP does not in fact have a franchise in Japan.

Kuro: Not that a little thing like nonexistent restaurants in Eastern countries will stop you from writing one in anyway, right?

Neko: Damn skippy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I wonder why they call it International House of Pancakes?"

"Because Municipal House of Pancakes didn't quite have the same ring to it?"

"Ah. I see now why your GPA ranks so high at Meiou."

"When is that boy coming back with my food? You said this place had sweet snow, Kurama…"

"Be patient, Hiei. He just took our order, they still have to make the food."

"They'd better get it out here fast if they value their land plot."

"….."

"Am I the only one here confused as to how the hell you demons can go from a battlefield, a plot twist, and then out for breakfast foods at 3 in the morning?!" exclaimed Yusuke from his seat.

"Yeah, why aren't you guys tearing each other apart for answers or something?" the Spawn of the Orange Beast agreed.

"That can be arranged…" predictable Frog-Muffin glanced over at me with a glint in his eye and a hand over his katana (don't ask me how he snuck that in here).

"Hiei…" Kurama said in a warning tone.

"Hn."

"Food first, discussions of tragic pasts later," I stated.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's do the time-warp back to the construction site, shall we?

"Youko?! Is that really you?!" I said dumbfounded.

"Wait, how does he know about that, Kurama?" Yusuke whispered to the redhead, but I doubt he really heard him.

"Kuronue…?"

That did me in. I ran over to him in a flash and tackle-glomped him to the ground in my excitement. What better way to show someone that you missed them than charging at them, sending them tumbling to the ground, just short of attacking them?

"What the hell are you doing here like this, you moron?!" I laughed. "I can't believe it's really you!!"

"Likewise," he smiled.

I finally released him from my bear hug so he could sit up. There was so much I had to ask him, but I didn't know where to start without going off in a million different directions. Not that it mattered. After settling on 'How the hell are ya?' I found a sword to my throat. Right, the Frog-Muffin. I had forgotten about him.

"What are you?" he asked coldly, bringing his blade close enough to my neck to nearly draw blood.

"I see you're as friendly as ever."

"I asked you a question."

"Hiei, it's fine," Kurama interrupted. "I know him from back when I was Youko."

"Hn," came the reply as the black-haired boy reluctantly withdrew his sword.

"Yeah, tree-rat. You're looking at the two deadliest thieves in all of Makai." I sneered.

"That would have much more impact when stated standing up, Kuronue."

"Oh, right," I grinned sheepishly, jumped to my feet, and helped him up.

"So you were friends then?" asked the Tall Orange One.

"Wow! What are the odds of reuniting here?" laughed Botan. "I mean really, of all the places to meet, you guys end up in a fancy place like this!"

"Yeah," I agreed. "You know what would be even fancier? IHOP."

"You were serious about that?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm always serious when Strawberry Pancakes and French Toast are involved."

"Uh, in case you didn't notice, it's already 2:30."

"Your point?"

"How can you guys be so awake?"

"Youkai run on a different sleep pattern than most ningen, Yusuke," the redhead chuckled.

"And kitsune are natural Moon-elementals!" Botan added.

"When'd you get so smart?" the detective asked her only to receive a giggle in return.

"So, then. IHOP?" I urged them. I was starving by then.

"Whatever," Yusuke shrugged. "I'll be needing the coffee just to make it back home."

"No kidding," Kuwabara yawned.

"There's no school to get up for, so why not?" smiled the fox. "Would either of you care to join us?" he asked, directing the question at Botan and the tree-rat.

"Sure!"

"I…hop?"

"A restaurant that sells pancakes and other breakfast foods," Kurama elaborated.

"You in, little man?" I smirked.

"Hn. Not likely," he snarled with a glare. Why do I get the feeling that look is trademarked?

"Aw, c'mon! That just takes the fun out of it!" pouted the ferrygirl.

"I'm not here to entertain you fools."

"What a pity," Kurama said with a fake sigh. "Especially since they even put sweet snow on some of their food…"

"Hn…I suppose I could stay for awhile," the swordsman muttered, but cut off Botan's celebrating with a: "But only until I'm done eating."

"Sweet snow?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here's your food," the young waiter said upon returning to our table with a huge tray. "Two French Toasts, one Breakfast Sampler, a shortstack with blueberry topping, another with apple-cinnamin, and another with….extra ice cream."

"Sweet snow," the dark one corrected him. Was I the only one that noticed something glowing under his bandanna?

"R-Right. Sweet snow," he sweatdropped. "Anything else?"

"More coffee," Yusuke replied, handing him the empty pot.

"Of course."

I think more was said, but by that point I was digging into my eggs and hash-browns while simultaneously pouring half the syrup bottle onto my pancakes. Yep, a pancake feast at 2-something in the morning. I was in heaven.

"Ew, Hiei, don't you want to add some syrup or something to that?" Botan asked.

"Why?" he responded with a mouthful of ice cream and pancakes.

"It tastes better."

Shrugging, he reached across the table and grabbed a bottle from Yusuke. The tiny swordsman sniffed it once and then began to pour it over his plate profusely. I was just waiting for someone to point out to him that he was dumping coffee all over his food.

"Um, Hiei…"

"I was gonna drink that, asshole!"

"What are you doing?! Adding coffee to _pancakes_?! Talk about gross!!" Kuwabaka gagged before pausing. "……What's it taste like?"

"Human with a touch of soy sauce," he answered without looking up. "Try it yourself."

"N-no thanks…" the carrot-boy frowned, pulling his own plate farther away from the shorter boy.

"So," Botan interjected to change the topic. "You know Kurama from when he was Youko?"

"Sure," I said between bites. "We were partners for over three centuries!"

"What happened?" asked Yusuke.

"I died."

"Oh, that'd do it…"

"What I wanna know is what happened to _you_, Kurama!" I pointed a fork accusingly to the guy next to me. "Why are you here and not in Makai?"

"I died."

"Funny, fox. I'm serious."

"I was….careless." the redhead shrugged. "A bounty hunter shot me, so I released my spirit to travel to the Ningenkai and possess an infant."

This was not the answer I wanted to hear. Suddenly, lingering fragments of the dream I had in the park came back to me. Youko running through the woods, without purpose…the bounty hunters….the shot that he should have easily been able to avoid…. But I pushed those out of my head. Had to be a coincidence, that's all.

"Copycat."

"So you did as well? I was wondering about that."

"Yeah, but I pulled it off way before you. _You_ copied _me_."

"I guess so," he smiled.

At that moment, the most annoying ringtone and lightshow blared from Botan's jacket.

"Ah!" she exclaimed before pulling out her….make-up compact? "Hello, Koenma-sama! Botan here!"

"Who else would answer your communication mirror?!" a young voice shouted.

"Was there something you needed, sir?" she flinched.

"How about an update on your mission?! It's bad enough the TV's broke here, so I can't watch it myself!" the boy on the other end continued yelling. "You said you'd inform me when you guys arrested him!"

"Oops! Sorry, sir, I forgot!" sweatdropped the ferrygirl. "It's okay! The boys took care of him!"

"Then where are you now?!"

"IHOP…"

"Whaaaat?! You forgot to give me the results of your mission because you were eating potatoes?!"

"Pancakes, sir," she corrected him. "They're the International House of _Pancakes_, not potatoes. I can bring some back for you if you'd like, they're pretty tasty."

"Forget the pancakes!!" the voice shrieked. "I just wanted a report!"

"Ugh, just hang up, Botan," Yusuke grumbled. "It should be past his bedtime anyway."

"I heard that Yusuke!"

"Then it'll save me the trouble of repeating myself, Diapers!"

"Uh…what's going on?" I asked anyone in general.

"Botan, you ditz! Why'd you answer the communication mirror in front of a normal civilian?!" the baby-voice panicked.

"Oh, he's not a normal civilian!" she laughed. "He's an old friend of Kurama's!"

"A friend of…_Youko_ Kurama's?"

"More like partner in crime," I grinned, snatching the compact from Botan (I like to see who I'm talking to.) "If you classify it as 'treasure,' we've probably already stolen it."

I then realized I was talking to a five year old.

"…Botan, why are you taking orders from a little kid?"

"I AM NOT A 'LITTLE KID!!!'"

"And who are you to be bossing her around anyway?" I asked him. "You barely look old enough to toddle, let alone command anything."

"What'd you say?!"

"Kuronue, I'd like you to meet our boss, Koenma. Koenma, this is my old partner, Kuronue," the fox interrupted.

"WHAT?!" we both shouted at each other.

"Koenma, as in _Enma's_ kid?!"

"Kuronue, as in your former right hand man?!"

"I am not a 'right hand man' you little brat!" I defended myself. "Youko just did more of the strategy stuff back then! I was just as good as him!"

Then it dawned on me.

"You're a Reikai Tantei?!" I asked him in shock.

"So it would seem."

"Why?!"

"Long story short, it was that or 50 years with no shot at parole."

"Probation, the kinder, less cockroach-y alternative to Prison…," I muttered. "Don't tell me _you_ actually got caught stealing something."

"Not exactly…" he mused. "More like turned myself in, than anything."

I'm pretty sure that I sat there dumbfounded for three minutes straight. This was not like the Youko that I knew. He hated the Reikai higher-ups. Hell, he hated Reikai. Was I really talking to the guy that willingly ripped his own soul out of his body, sent it to the Ningenkai, and ended up merging with an unborn human all to avoid getting thrown into a Reikai jail? No way.

"A lot has changed, Kuronue," he said, reading my mind. "I'm not exactly the same now as I was centuries ago…"

"Yeah," I smiled, leaning back into my chair. "Me neither."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Um, is everything alright here?" our waiter asked, returning to our table reluctantly. And by reluctantly, I mean forced to by his hostess….after pleading, sobbing, and begging her not to make him go back.

"What the hell do you want?" growled the resident pyro.

"I-I was just ch-checking on you guys to see if y-you needed anything…"

"Be nice, Hiei!" Botan chided, slamming her compact shut. "He's just trying to do his job!"

"I-I'm sorry if I interrupted something."

"Not at all," Yusuke replied, shooting a glare to the smaller demon. "Got any more coffee?"

All heads turned to the tree-rat who was still busy devouring his coffee-drenched pancakes.

"Hn. And bring me more sweet snow while you're at it, ningen."

"Um, actually, my hostess just shut the soft-serve machine off," he answered him. "So there's no more ice cre—ah, _sweet snow_ at this time.

As he reached down to take the empty coffee pot, Hiei swiftly grabbed his wrist and inspected it.

"What a nice arm you have," he said mockingly. "It would be such a pity if I had to rip it off over something like this…"

"I-I'll be b-back with your order right away, sir!" the server exclaimed, and quickly headed back to the temporary safety of counter far, far away from our table.

"Ah, the familiar scent of fear and maple syrup…" I smirked. "I gotta admit; you're pretty good at scaring the innocents, tree-rat. You should come to Meiou more often, there's this one bitch I'd love to introduce you to."

I got a snort in return.

"Yeah, you'd probably get along _too_ well."

"I'd never be caught anywhere near that mass of fools."

"But you came near me on my first day….aww, I feel special."

"Don't flatter yourself. I just sensed something strange about your energy," he frowned, before glancing at Kurama. "And look, Fox. I was right after all – an idiot from the past."

"Wanna repeat that?" I snarled. "Turns out I was right about your punk-ass being a demonic little squirrel."

If Kurama hadn't been sitting between us, I'm pretty sure tree-rat and I'd have reduced IHOP to ashes in mere seconds.

"I was wondering about that!" Botan quickly interjected. "While you guys were at school, did you suspect each other of being your best friend's reincarnation?"

"Well, Botan, I am proud to say that yes, I did think Kurama might've been….Kurama." I grinned. "It was either that, or some kind of crazy Alien/Hanyou hybrid."

"Wow! How'd you do it?"

"Mostly 'cause of the accent, but the whole supernatural aura thing helped too."

"What accent?" Kuwabara asked, confused. "Kurama doesn't have an accent."

"I mean a Makaiin one. You have to know what to be listening for to pick up on it." I explained. "Even Shorty's got a slight accent."

"Whoa, I never noticed."

"You failed to hide yours as well," Hiei sneered. "It was the first thing _I_ noticed after your youki."

That was a slap to the face. I thought I had hidden it under my now almost natural Kyoto accent. Both seemed to flow together so nicely, I never saw the need to modify it much. (Plus, the chicks really dug it.) Besides the two I was eating with, I had yet to face a demon that recognized it at all. (The more modern Makaiin accent being so in vogue now, and all.) How old was this kid anyway?

"Did you hear his accent too, Kurama?" the ferrygirl asked.

He nodded, taking a sip of juice. Okay, that I could live with. We didn't spend all that time growing up together and then getting famous off other people's possessions to not be able to recognize the other's speech patterns. In this form, Kurama sounded a lot less cynical, but then again, he wasn't leading a band of thieves either. Me, on the other hand…

"You haven't changed have you, Kuronue?" he smiled.

"Alright, I'm curious now, what gave me away?"

"To be fair, I wasn't completely sure it was you until recently."

"Don't give me that, when'd you first get suspicious I was a youkai?"

"Right around… 'The food's pretty good here.'"

"Damn! That fast?"

"I told you that you haven't changed much."

"Then why didn't you ask me or test me sooner, or something?" I asked. "You even saw my pendant the other day, right?"

"I suppose I didn't want to be wrong again." Red smiled sadly. "You came to Tokyo once before…"

"Huh?"

"Oh, I get it," nodded 'Yun-Yun.' "That Netherworld guy…whats-his-name…"

"I didn't like them at all," Kuwabara cringed. "Especially that ugly one I had to fight."

"Still not following guys…" I looked around the table, everyone had a different expression.

"Not too long ago, the Meikai attempted to permanently seal off Reikai by releasing energy from the five sacred elemental sites here in Tokyo," Kurama informed me. "King Yakumo and his three most powerful warriors led the attack here and one of them…took your form."

"How painful his death must have been…" I grinned, knowing fully well how sadistic he could be to people that pissed him off. "So there's no more Netherworld?"

"To sum it up, we fought and defeated its king, Yakumo, sealing Meikai away forever."

"Yeah," Yusuke added, pointing his finger to the side of his head. A flash, a boom, and a bang, and he checked out permanently."

"Sounds like I missed out on a lot of fun."

"Then we're telling it wrong," the detective laughed.

"H-Here's your food," the trembling waiter said upon returning with coffee and 'sweet snow.'

"That was fast!" Botan beamed, squinting at his nametag. "Thank you….Jiro!"

I'm glad that Yusuke grabbed the coffee when he did. Botan definitely doesn't need any more caffeine. The two boys at the end of the table looked like they needed something to keep them awake or they'd fall face-first into their French Toast. Jiro looked like he'd be needing a few trips to a shrink. Judging by the way he practically dropped the bowl of ice cream in front of Frog-Muffin and fled, I was surprised he didn't assume the fetal position in a dark corner right then and there.

Not that his fear of the tree-rat was unjustified. The guy looked ready to cut the ningen's head off if he didn't get his damned ice cream soon.

"You're not much of a people-person, are you Frog-Muffin?"

"Call me that again and I'll cut you in half."

"Do it and I'd still be the taller youkai."

"I could always melt your skin off then…"

"Before or after ice cream time?"

"Try not to cause a scene you two," Kurama sighed. "I'd rather not have to testify in court that you destroyed an entire restaurant over a dessert."

"Geez, Hiei! We can't take you anywhere!" the Carrot snickered.

"Like you can talk," sweatdropped the boy next to him. "Usually it's _you_ and Hiei that get us kicked out of places."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the hour wore on, the gang filled me in on the last two or so years of their missions as Tantei. Alright, that's a bold-faced lie. Kurama and Botan filled me in, Yusuke made the occasional snide remark about their enemies, the spawn of the Orange Beast dozed off, and the tree-rat glared at me in between bites of ice cream. He was currently on his twelfth bowl.

"I'll have to ask Koenma to lend me copies of the boys' assignments so you can watch them, Kuroji! Oops, I mean _Kuronue!_" Botan giggled.

"Either is fine, and I'd love to watch 'em sometime."

"You might learn a thing or two…" stated the pointy haired brat at the end of the table. He then motioned for our waiter to bring him more ice cream.

Jiro the Generic Japanese Guy returned with another dish of vanilla with chocolate syrup. This way, Hiei wouldn't be tempted to add any more strange ingredients to it. He had also developed a system of setting each bowl on the very end of the table across from the sword-wielding shrimp, so that he could be halfway across the room in the time it took the fire demon to reach over and grab the bowl.

"Haven't you had enough yet?" Yusuke asked.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough," came the stiff retort.

"Defensive, aren't we?" the sophomore sweatdropped. "I think you need to admit that you have a problem, Hiei. They have focus groups for that kind of thing."

"Hn."

"Hey Kurama, when would be a good time to cut him off?"

"Not until the fifteenth bowl at least," the fox replied. "I usually go by that or double of what Kuwabara ate. Every other meal seems to turns into a competition with those two."

"Exactly why I hate eating with them," the detective sighed and poked the Human Carrot's face. "Good thing he clocked out early."

"Zzzzzz….Naw, I don't wanna ride the mongoose, Mommy….They have tendonitis of the ear…."

"See what I mean?"

The rest of the table sweatdropped. Hiei moved on to Bowl Number 14…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have never seen a restaurant staff so happy to take their customer's bill and wave them out the door. Our unfortunate waiter seemed especially happy that Hiei would now be a safe distance away from him for an extended amount of time.

I'll bet the employees couldn't wait for their next staff meeting. I can see a slogan change suggestion for them in the near future. "Come Hungry, Leave Happy" was too naïve. "Come Hungry, Leave Handicapped" was much more accurate.

As soon as we got outside, Botan brought out her oar and floated above us. Not like she had to worry about anyone spotting her on it at five in the morning.

"I'll go give the complete report to Koenma, you boys go to bed!" she giggled. "You look like you all need it!"

Fair enough. After talking for two hours straight, anybody would be tired. Except for maybe Botan, that girl didn't look like she even knew what 'sleep' was. Then there was the tree-rat, but he was under the influence of ice cream, so he didn't count. We bid our farewells, and took off in opposite directions.

Kuwabara left with Yusuke to crash at his place since it was closer, Kurama went off another way, and I didn't even see the Frog-Muffin leave.

I took my sweet time getting home; actually happy with the way my day was starting for a change. There were still a few details I wanted to get ironed out with the redhead about the whole reincarnation and testing me in the park, but they could wait. I finally found my best friend after a little under two decades. Things were looking up. Then I looked up.

The kitchen light at home was on.

"…..Oh, shit."

I opened the front door slowly. No need to sneak up the tree outside my window, as the only one that would be up at this hour would be Hazuki. And she would definitely have checked my room first.

"Kuroji, is that you?" she called from the kitchen, loud enough for me to hear, but softly enough not to wake the others.

"Yeah…" I replied, kicking off my shoes.

She came to the doorway, arms crossed, looking very unhappy.

"Where have you been, young man?"

"It's kind of a long story…"

"I have time."

Dammit. Think, brain, think. Kurama got you into this mess, so Kurama was getting you out of it.

"I was over at a friend's house from school…"

"The whole time? Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"Sorry, we had a video game marathon and lost track of time. I woulda called, but it was already really late," I shrugged. "He let me stay overnight, but thought I should come home early, so you would know where I was."

"Kuroji, you know you can call me whenever you need to, I'm your mother," her expression softened.

"I know you wouldn't be mad about me calling late, but--"

"Hold on there, kiddo," Hazuki interrupted. "I said I was your mother, I never said I wouldn't get mad!"

"Oh."

Should've seen that one coming.

"So how long am I grounded for?" I sighed. Better to get this over with.

"Two weeks."

"Mooooom…"

"But!" she silenced me with a finger. "I'm willing to overlook it this once, because I'm happy you're making new friends."

"Thanks."

"You do realize that I expect to meet this new friend of yours soon, right?" she grinned. "Is he cute?"

"_Dreamy_," I said sarcastically. "I'll introduce you some other time; I don't feel like scaring off the first friend I make here so soon."

"We can talk about it later, I'm going back to bed!" she yawned and walked towards the stairs.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Mm?"

"Did you really stay up all night waiting for me?"

"Of course not, honey, I just had to get up to use the bathroom!" Hazuki laughed. "Your timing _sucks_."

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 9**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Looking back, that was kinda Filler-ish too. Those are harder to make entertaining.

Kuro: Normally I'd complain, but I got pancakes out of it, so…

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Makai** (Jap.) "Demon World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Meikai** (Jap.) "Netherworld"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**Hanyou** (Jap.) "Half-breed"

**Tantei** (Jap.) "Detective"

**-sama** (Jap.) Honorific meaning "Lord"

**Jiro Yamada** (Jap.) Extremely common/boring name; it's like the Japanese "John Smith"


	10. Chapter 10

Anemone

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Chapter ten! Never thought we'd get past five! Also never thought that college could delay me for so long.

**-- (Ridiculously Long) Respose To Reviewers--**

Neko: I really can't thank you all for the support! Yeah, I say that every chapter, but I really mean it. Here's more Question/Answer Time!

Kuro: There were questions?

Neko: Sure! Iro, for example.

Kuro: The lizard? He's the devil. End of story.

Neko: Are you kidding? They're more divided on Iro's character than my old doctors were on prescribing me Crazy Pills. Ah, childhood…

Kuro: ….Right.

Neko: Last I checked, it was about even between the Iro-lovers and the Iro-haters. He may seem like a little bastard for no particular reason, but does have a reason for trying to kill Kuro off whenever the situation presents itself.

Kuro: And that reason would be…?

Neko: _(grins)_ Revealed in a later chappie.

Kuro: Bitch.

Neko: _Sadistic_ bitch, sweetheart. Get it right. Oh, that reminds me! **Sskkhjfangirl**! _(covers Kuro's ears)_ I agree with you on most of the Hiei facts (after hearing Yukina's explanation of Koorime in the anime I fell over laughing at the thought of "Uncle Hiei"), but because this is supposed to be Kuro's POV, it's written from his assumptions. He'll get it right eventually, but at this point he doesn't even know Hiei has a Jagan. _(uncovers Kuro's ears)_

Kuro: What was that all about?

Neko: Just that I have given up on trying to find the perfect time that this fic fits in with the storyline, I just end up contradicting _myself_. I'm not going to give away Kurama's reaction to meeting the Akatsuki family here, because it's not set to happen for a few more chapters. And to everyone I made hungry in the last chapter, my apologies. If it makes you feel better, I had to stop typing halfway through to eat pancakes too.

Kuro: What you ate were not "pancakes."

Neko: Were too. They were custom-made (by me) to look like…..stuff!

Kuro: Who the hell left you unattended for over ten minutes?

Neko: It was three in the morning. Not many of the other residents were up then. I even made a flower-shaped one and a bat-shaped one to represent the crack I was writing about!

Kuro: You done yet? I think you set a new record for rambling.

Neko: Just about. I don't come up with this crap on my own. It is physically possible to get sugar high off of sweet snow, **bleeding darkness dragon**. I've done it before and now people are afraid to go to Dairy Queen with me. Nearly all of the restaurant material in chapter 9 was based off of things that happened to me at work or at IHOP. Including the customer that poured coffee on his pancakes. Drunks are so amusing.

Kuro: Anything else you'd like to say?

Neko: Yes, actually. To **Pan Jaganshi**….Thanks for the cookie. _(nibbles cookie)_

--

Eagles are stalking me. That's the only way I can explain it.

For some reason, I was currently strolling through a city that looked like it was ripped out of _Tales From The 1001 Nights_. Instead of my reincarnated form, I was back to my true form, gorgeous hair and all. I was also most definitely not wearing the stupid school uniform that I had come to hate so much, instead I was decked out in some crazy white robe thing with just about every weapon a thief could ever want. Daggers, throwing knives, shiny new sword…

But that wasn't the point. The point was that eagles were stalking me.

I'm not sure how much time had gone by, but for some reason every time I passed underneath a tower in this desert town, an eagle was perched on one of its top ledges. The first few times I let it slide, but after the twenty-something time I heard one of those birds squawk at me I knew something was up.

Not letting the birdies get the best me, I decided to scale one of the towers and scare the damn thing off. Using bricks as footholds and window ledges as leverage, I made it to the top in less time that it took some corrupt officer to beat up some poor sap below. Sucks to be him.

"Squawk! Squawk!" the eagle called out shrilly as it detected my presence.

"Dammit…" I cursed, making a grab for the annoying creature before it could fly off.

I could feel its feathers in my hand, when suddenly the eagle wasn't an eagle anymore. In a flash, it had turned itself into a squirrel and by some magic had black fur and creepy red eyes. The little terror escaped my grip, leaped onto my shoulder, and leaped back to the safety of the building.

Had I not been falling to my death, I might have noticed that the bushy-tailed bastard also had a suspicious white starburst of fur running across its forehead.

My mind raced at all the possibilities I had before turning into a Kuronue pancake when I noticed exactly where I was falling. I relaxed a bit, closed my eyes, and smiled. There was no need to summon my wings or use the building to stop me from reaching terminal velocity, the solution was much simpler than that.

Everybody knows that random piles of hay can break any fall, regardless of the height.

"Your pathetic murder attempts have failed you once again, tree-rat!" I laughed.

Above, the black beastling was fuming. It hopped from one leg to another, cursing me out in some strange squirrel language.

"Beeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeep!"

I didn't know squirrels went "beep." Huh. Kinda sounds like my alarm clock.

_Wait a second…_

I snapped out of my dream and reached over to hit my alarm clock. No good. The faint buzzing sound still continued. Still a little dazed, I decided that it must be the second alarm I set on my cell phone (yes, it takes two alarms to get me up in the morning). I must have slept through the first one on my alarm clock.

Forcing my eyes open, I slowly sat up in bed and reached for the source of the obnoxious bell tone on my nightstand. Noting that it felt a little heavier than usual, I brought it over to my bed to flip it open and turn off the alarm.

Just about had a mild stroke when I was face to face with Iro, Son of Satan.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed, throwing both the cellphone and the lizard attached to it at the wall in shock.

Iro hissed and dropped the Razor out of his mouth, apparently deciding to devour it another day. I think he scurried out of the room after that. I never saw him leave, because I was more concerned with the time. Couldn't have overslept that badly…

My alarm clock was blank, its cord neatly chewed through near the outlet on the floor.

"FUCKING LIZARD!!"

I had no choice but to brave the Iro-drool on my cell to check the time.

7:15.

And of course the bus leaves at 7:20.

Once again relying on my well-developed thief's speed, I threw on my uniform and raced down the stairs, cursing everything from Iro's stomach to my mismatched socks. I don't know how the heck he managed to reset my alarm by just chewing on my phone, but I would be buying a padlock for my door in the near future.

By some miracle, the bus was running a little late today. I had just made it to the bus stop as it was turning the corner. I barely had a chance to catch my breath, but at least I wasn't late. I dropped 100 yen into the money bin and briefly thought over my crazy dream.

Arabian towns, corrupt officers, eagle stalkers, Leaps of Fate into haystacks a hundred feet below me…

"Shit….no more _Assassin's Creed_ for me for awhile…" I muttered, plopping down into the nearest empty seat.

"OMG! j00 l1k3 _Assassin's Creed_?! Altaïr pwns de Sable!! lol! lol!"

"Excuse me?" I said turning around to face the source of the alien language behind me.

"IMO, Desmond sUckz! j/k!"

"Right," I sweatdropped and turned back around. "When you start speaking in a human language, let me know."

"Omgz, joo sUck! I ownzor U in Masyaf, n00b!"

Ignoring the freak behind me and his psycho-babble, I put on my headset and tuned out the rest of the world until I got to the Gates of Hell. I mean, the gates of Meiou.

--

Once again, my first impression was 'Damn, it's crowded here.'

"What's the big rush to get here so early anyway?" I asked out loud, not really expecting an answer.

"They gather in darkness, masterless and free…until they weave together to create Meiou High School…." came a reply from next to me.

Some strange, scarf-wearing lunatic seemed to materialize in from some other planet next to me. He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place him because he was not A.) a cute girl, B.) housing the kleptomaniac spirit of my best friend in his body, or C.) a particularly annoying enemy.

"Uh…who the hell are you?" I asked, a little creeped out.

"I'm your school president, Kibishii Kuroji!" he said brightly, then his face darkened. "At least for the next couple of weeks…"

"Okay…"

"Then I'm running for re-election!" he beamed, fully recovered. "Here, you are, little toadstool. Vote for me!"

He handed me a flyer and dramatically walked off with a toss of his little scarf.

"I'm thinking 'No,'" I sweatdropped, tossing the flyer into the nearest trashcan.

How did that guy ever get elected to begin with? Maybe he drugged the entire school? He looked shady enough. Originally, I never really cared either way about my new human name, but now I was tempted to cut my first hour to go down to the city hall and get a name change. Who'd want to share the same first name with that guy? I thought I was just a little unlucky, not _cursed_…

I checked my watch to see if I had enough time to find a pretty upperclassman to show me where the faculty office to find out who my homeroom teacher would be. Of course, I already knew exactly where it was because Kurama had shown it to me; I figured some nice company in a sailor uniform wouldn't hurt.

Dammit. Only enough time to run to my locker and then to the office. If the genius that designed this stupid school had placed the two closer together, I'd have time to find a cutie to give me directions.

I sighed and turned down the hallway to get to my locker.

--

"What do you want? Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

Nice to see the faculty are all considerate, helpful, and kind human beings.

"My name is Akatsuki Kuroji, I'm a transfer student. I was told to come here on my first day to meet my homeroom teacher," I said sweetly, flashing a smile.

"Hmph, and who would that teacher be, boy?" came the brick wall's curt reply.

'_If I knew that I wouldn't be here asking for them, you gorilla bastard_…'

Geez, all I did was knock on the door and this guy comes out and blocks the entire damned doorframe. He must be a gym teacher or something. He had the attitude for it.

"Yukio-chan, are you picking on new students again?" asked another man that now stood beside him. "That's why nobody ever wants to study under you, you know."

"I told you not to call me 'Yukio-chan,' you bastard!!"

"Now what did you say your name was?" the nicer of the two asked me, ignoring his co-worker's little outburst.

"Akatsuki Kuroji."

"Oh, did you say Akatsuki?" a feminine voice asked from inside. "You must be my new student!"

I could hear her footsteps approaching the doorway.

"Excuse me, Yukio-chan," she said, brushing past him.

"It's Matsuoka! _Matsuoka!_" he corrected her angrily, before turning to face the shorter man next to him. "See what you've started?!"

My new homeroom teacher shut the door on their argument with a smile. I tried to return it with the best of my ability. She looked like she was in her mid-thirties and wore her strawberry-blonde hair pulled up into a bun. It was so frizzy and wild that it almost looked alive.

"That's funny…" she squinted, leaning over to look me over. "Blue eyes…where did you transfer from anyway?"

"Kyoto, ma'am. I was born with blue eyes naturally."

"Oh, you can call me Tachibana-sensei," she said, finally getting out of my personal space. "Hmm, you sure don't look very Japanese with those eyes of yours…"

'_And you sure don't look very Japanese with that hair of yours_.' I mentally retorted. '_Human even_.'

"Well, whatever! I think I got all the foreign-looking juniors this year!" Tachibana-sensei laughed. "You crazy kids and your colored contacts!"

"No, my eyes are natural," I replied. "I was born like this—"

"You guys are so lucky that Principal Gan is pretty laidback about changing your hair or eye-color! The vice-principal would probably make you all stick to blacks and browns."

I gave up trying to get through to this woman. Thank the gods I was only seeing her for thirty minutes each day.

"Now wait out here until I introduce you to the rest of the class," Frizz-head beamed. "I can't wait to see the dramatic effect it'll have! First impressions are important, you know!"

"O…kay?"

"Great!" she giggled and slammed the door in my face.

Inside I could hear her writing something on the chalkboard (probably my name) as she greeted her students.

"Good morning, children!" she said enthusiastically. "I have a surprise for you today!"

The lazy response sounded more like an old dog that had been kicked one too many times.

"Starting today we'll be having a new transfer student joining our class!" Tachibana-sensei continued just as merrily. "You may enter now!"

I took that as my cue to come in…..or my last chance to make a run for it. Tough choice.

I opened the door slowly, and gave my new classmates a quick once-over. Kitsune? Check. Cute schoolgirls? Check, check, and check. No obnoxious Fishmen or bitchy committee leaders? Check! Alright we were golden. I gave Kurama a quick grin and stood in front my neatly scribbled name on the chalk board. The first thing I noticed was that it wasn't written in the traditional kanji.

'_Katakana? This lady really does think I'm foreign…_'

"My name's Akatsuki Kuroji and I come from Kyoto. It's nice to meet you!" I grinned.

Several girls went heart-eyed. I could tell we'd get along just fine. Several average-looking ningen eyed me curiously. We might become friends with some work. A small huddle of jocks glared at me after watching the impact of my entrance on the majority of the female population. I could already tell we would never get along and that kicking their asses and knocking them down a few pegs would bring me immense joy.

Then there was Kitsune. The calm and composed redhead merely eyed me with a slightly bored-looking gaze. He was probably waiting for me to make the first move in acknowledging our friendship. A smile or a surprised look on my face maybe? Whatever it was, he was prepared for something as subtle as a wink or as noticeable as a small outburst. Mentally, the fox had calculated my every move.

We can't have that now can we?

"Kurama?!" I exclaimed, feigning immense shock.

He blinked, dropping his hand from its resting place against his chin…which is the equivalent of sending a normal person jumping a good twenty feet in the air.

_Ha, weren't expecting that, were ya, Red? _

He instantly regained his composure and gave me a perfectly manufactured confused look. Again, he was waiting for me to do something so he could react correctly. But, hey…why make things easy for him, right?

I leaped over an empty desk and shot over towards him. This earned me another look of complete surprise from the fox, even if I was the only one that noticed it. Two-for-two and I was only on introductions! I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I playfully ruffled his hair with a grin.

"You're Kurama, right?!"

"Ku…roji?" He replied, using my human name and probably wondering why I wasn't doing the same.

"We grew up together," I explained, turning to the teacher. "Can I sit by him?"

Hairwoman nodded her consent, still in a daze from my performance. Yeah, her and half the class.

Not missing a beat, I dropped my bag on the floor, pulled my desk over to Kurama's, and pretended not to notice the golden shade his eyes were turning.

"How ya been, buddy?"

How he resisted the urge to beat me over the head with a desk is beyond me.

--

Homeroom seemed to fly by and before I knew it, Tachibana-sensei was dismissing us for our next class. Of course, Frizzy dismissing us and us actually leaving were two different things.

"So you guys really know each other?!" exclaimed one of my new classmates. She and several of her friends had immediately surrounded Kurama and I before we could leave.

"Yeah!" I grinned. "Ever since we were kids!"

"But I thought you were from Kyoto…" some guy in the back of the cluster of school girls said.

"When I was younger, my dad always took me to Tokyo in the summer. I ran into Kurama at a park and we've been friends ever since."

This was yet another bold-faced lie. Truth is I don't even remember what my human dad did exactly. Some kind of journalism thing, I think. He really did travel a lot though. Who's to say he didn't go to Tokyo once or twice?

"Uh…why do you keep calling him 'Kurama?'" another inquisitive mind asked.

Because calling him 'Shuiichi' over and over will drive me up the wall?

"Oh, right. I guess you're 'Shuiichi' here, huh?" I replied, scratching my head. I would have added an apologetic smile, but the kitsune would see right through it and get me back later. "Well, one of my favorite places to visit back home was Mount Kurama, and since Shuiichi became one of my favorite people to visit in Tokyo, I called him Kurama as a nickname."

"That's so cool!" squealed one of the girls. "I'm gonna call you Kurama from now on!"

"Yeah, me too!"

"And me!"

As long as they don't attract the attention of any crazy demons out to get Youko, why not?

…Are those daggers the fox was glaring at me?

"You really don't have to," Kurama smiled, putting the charm back into his act. "It's just a meaningless nickna—"

"But it sounds so neat!" another girl giggled.

"Yeah, Kurama!" her friend agreed, and then proceeded to try the new name out...numerous times. "Kurama, Kurama, Kurama!"

I could feel a headache coming on already. Clearly it was time to retreat before the classroom of easily amused ningen landed me in the Funny Farm….or possibly prison.

"Whoa, we better get going or we'll miss our next class!" I exclaimed, making a big show of looking at my watch. "Wouldn't want that on my first day!"

"Right," the redhead agreed and took the opportunity to start walking to the door with me. "What do you have next?"

"Uh, lemme check," I fumbled with my bag to take out my schedule. "AP English."

"Oh, really? Advanced Placement English with Yamada-sensei?" he smirked about something I didn't quite catch. "Have fun."

"Yeah…Seeya at lunch?" I replied, slightly paranoid. His eyes always gleamed like that when he knew something potentially ego-shattering that I didn't.

"Sure," he replied with a wave.

As he walked off, I was half-tempted to follow and annoy the answer out of him. Too bad he still didn't have his tails, I could've easily just messed with those until he either told me what the hell was so funny or just fed me to his death tree. One or the other.

"Um, Akatsuki-kun?"

"Stop gleaming at me!" I exclaimed, still caught in the moment.

"Wh-what?" stammered the girl I spun around to face.

"Er, nothing," I sweatdropped. "Call me Kuroji, we're classmates aren't we?"

"R-right," she blushed. And for the record I wasn't being forward, I was being charming. "I was wondering if you needed help finding your next class. I mean, I have AP English too, so…"

"How lucky!" I grinned. "Lead the way, princess."

--

I made it to my next class just fine (my guide was in the next room over). My teacher was there, but still going through papers on her desk. All of this was good and well, and yet here I was waiting for a shinigami (No, not the pink robe wearing kind) to strike me dead on the spot. Why? Just the simple fact that Fish-head was in the same class.

No. Fucking. Way.

Our eyes met, volcanoes erupted.

"What do you think you're doing here?" he snapped at me as I made my way to the back of the room (i.e. as far away from him as possible).

"Same thing as you, Fish-head, going to class." I retorted, baring a little fang. "I come to make my speaking English good. Comprende?"

"That's impossible!" the pudgy human exclaimed. "This class is for _advanced_ students only. Hence the title."

He just wouldn't give up, would he? Christ, like I _wanted_ to be in the same class as him… I had been doing so well up until now, too.

"This may come as a surprise to you, bottom-dweller, but I'm actually pretty good at languages. Wanna see my schedule?"

All I got in return was another snort of disgust as the Fishboy returned to looking over his dictionary-sized book.

_Fine by me, Ugly_.

I was so lost in my thoughts of how best to fillet the fish, that I almost didn't notice my teacher start class.

"Good morning and welcome to Advanced Placement English," she announced in a soft tone. "My name is Yamada Ayaka and I will be your teacher."

No, really? And here I thought you were just here to announce our real teacher's grand entrance. A marching band would play as our teacher came prancing in on twelve white horses and one of them would eat Kaito's face off….

One could only hope, right?

"I haven't been here for very long, but I've been teaching others English for many years," Yamada-sensei went on.

She seemed like a nice enough lady, but would it kill her to switch up her class list a bit? Or speak up even? I don't mind the soft-spoken type, but if I'm expected to be learning something, I at least like to hear it clearly. If I didn't have enhanced hearing, I'd be screwed. Good thing that English was one of my better subjects.

"Here's a copy of the course syllabus. I'm sure you already know the school rules and expectations, so if you'll turn to page five, you'll see the outline for this class. I made sure to include all of the important due dates and tests in it."

I skimmed it as soon as copy was handed back to me. Verb tenses, conjugations, using conversational English….this class was going to be a cinch. All I have to do is make it to 9:30 without killing anyone and I'd be good. Yup, cakewalk.

I noted the glares the Fish sent my way when our teacher turned her back to us to write something on the board. Kindergarten, much? Maybe this class wouldn't be as easy as I thought.

Fish-boy stuck his slimy tongue out at me and turned back around to face the chalkboard.

Maybe this class can be _made_ easy by turning that bastard into sashimi.

Forty god-forsaken minutes later and I was dismissed at last. Now it was on to better things, Youko, wild animals held back by flimsy locks, and classes I could stay awake through, to be specific.

"Hold on, Akatsuki."

"Ugh…What now, Fishy?" I sighed, exasperated. I was so close to the door too.

"You…You think you can come in here and just _say_ things to me?"

"Unless you prefer I'd pop you one in the nose again, but then I'd have to write your mother one of those apology notes."

"That's not what I meant and you know it, Akatsuki," he growled.

"Hey, that's great and all, but I have to get to my next class. If you could possibly postpone your little temper tantrum until later, it would be much appreciated." I said with the wave of my hand, as I walked over to the door.

"I'm not done here!" The fishman snapped, blocking my way. It was just my luck that everyone else had cleared out of the room.

"Look, I don't know what exactly your beef is with me, and honestly I don't really care, but if you don't move out of my way on your own, then _I_ will move you."

I hadn't meant for that to come out quite as strongly as it did, but the guy was getting on my nerves. Clearly I put a little extra force into it, because the ningen got out of there damn quick. I don't think I had ever seen him tear down the hallway that fast. Putting my youki back in check, I followed suit, but at a much more moderate pace. Biology wasn't that much of a hike and there were still pretty girls to be discovered in the hallways.

--

I entered the Bio room to find that, unsurprisingly, Kurama was already there.

"Hey, Kurama!" I called out in greeting.

He and the small group of girls surrounding him looked up. I didn't recognize any of them from our homeroom class, so it was only natural that they didn't understand the "nickname." Now Kurama on the other hand waved weakly, clearly not looking forward to going through the same thing all over again.

"Hey, Kuroji…"

Immidiately the group of girls started squealing.

"See! I told you! They really do know each other!"

"Yeah! I heard the same thing from Sayaka in 2nd period!"

"Wow… 'Kurama' sounds soooo romantic!"

"Shuiichi-kun! Can I call you 'Kurama' too?"

"Ooh! Me too! Me too!"

"If you'd like…" he replied neutrally.

"Yaaaaaaay!!"

"I guess bad news travels fast?" I grinned sheepishly.

"You have no idea."

I winced. Now I kinda felt bad for the guy. Must be bad enough with all the crazy fangirls squeeing over him in the first place….and now they had new material.

"So I see you even get your own special seat in this class," I changed the subject, gesturing to his desk and chair. It was the same as all of the other student desks, but pulled off to the side of the classroom near the teacher's desk. Unlike the rest of us though, he got one of those cushioned chairs reserved for teacher desks. "What gives? I'm jealous."

"Bonus of being a TA, I suppose," he shrugged.

"Lucky…"

"I'm sure you'll be the best Teacher's Assistant ever, Kurama!" one of the girls gushed.

"Uh-huh, I'm so glad I took Bio after all!" giggled another.

"Well, I took Biology because _Kurama_ likes Biology."

"I like Biology too!"

"Me too! Me too! It's my favorite subject!"

Fortunately the bell cut off any further war over the redhead. As the fangirlies started retreating to their desks, I took my cue to nab the seat closest to the cobra.

"Why don't you sit by the window Kuro? I know how much you like to daydream and all…" the fox suggested, reading my mind.

"Wreck my fun…" I muttered, knowing he heard me.

Moments later, our teacher strolled in and it became obvious why seventy percent of the class was made up of guys.

"Good morning class, I'm Yugasa Sumire and I'll be teaching all the Environmental Biology sections. If you fell asleep during your last class, please enjoy this one!"

As the class responded with assorted greetings, I decided I liked this lady right away. Sure she was pretty, but she also seemed a lot more entertaining than some of her other colleagues. Akusei was an ass, Tachibana was a freak, and Matsu-whatever came off as the gym teacher from hell, but Yugasa seemed down to earth. No wonder Red said she was so well-liked by the students here.

"I also teach an Advanced Biology course down the hallway, so I may be a little late on occasion. This means, if you're a few minutes late to class every once in awhile, you'll be fine. I'm not really one for taking attendance anyway. That's why I have this guy!" she beamed, gesturing to Kurama. "His name is Minamino Shuiichi, and he'll be my Teacher's Assistant for this period. Feel free to ask him anything on the subject; he's one of our best science students!"

"Yugasa-sensei, I'm not nearly so—"

"Nonsense!" she cut him off. "I had to practically suckerpunch that old fart from the Chemistry department to get you as _my_ TA! Hehe…geezer had it comin'…"

Several of us sweatdropped, unsure of whether she was joking or not. Yugasa-sensei brightened up and continued on.

"This class will meet in here daily, unless specified elsewhere. Any questions so far?"

"Um, Yugasa-sensei…that snake is looking at me funny…" stated a wary looking boy near the snake container.

"Oh, that's just David Hayter!" she laughed, as if that settled everything.

"Er…"

"He and all of the other animals we'll be working with over the course of the semester come from the animal rescue that I run," she explained, laughing again at his scared expression. "Don't worry, some of the animals are here for behavioral observation only and I never have you work hands-on with an animal you're uncomfortable with."

The entire class let out a sigh of relief.

"I look forward to a fun semester with you guys!" the brunette smiled before turning her attention to her TA. "Now if you'll finish the attendance sheet, Shuiichi-kun, I'll pull random papers out of my desk in an attempt to look organized!"

After attendance (during which several girls nearly forgot their own names after hearing Kurama say them), Yugasa-sensei handed out the course outlines and guidelines like I had gotten in the other classes.

"Okay, I'm assuming that because you're sitting here now, you are all fully capable of reading the same first ten pages that you will find in every other syllabus you ever receive during your time at Meiou," our teacher said. "Yes? Yes? Good. All you really need to turn your attention to is the main outline so you know what's coming up and what days we have lab. I also threw in a sample lab sheet, so you know what I'm looking for when I grade them."

I skimmed over the outline, extremely disappointed to find that we would only be observing snakes and not working with them. Based off that student's reaction just from sitting by the cobra tells me that Snakes On A School would be a hit….at least in my books. Even Kurama would have to admit that it would be fun and emotionally liberating to dump a box of snakes over the Vice Principal's head.

Again, the remainder of the class consisted of our teacher telling us about the various projects and assignments in a little more detail, but at least Yugasa tried to keep it interesting…or at least as interesting as one can make lab reports and log sheets.

"We only have a few more minutes before the bell, so I'll give you the tour of the lab stations and animal introductions tomorrow," she said. "Shuiichi-kun, is there anything I missed?"

"I don't believe so, Yugasa-sensei."

"Alrighty then," she grinned. "I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day, as long as it may be. Remember, this hour could be worse. It could be right before lunch."

Point well taken. Next hour was sure to suck ass.

The bell rang, and we were all on our way. Even better was the fact that Kurama's groupies had to go off in the opposite direction.

"Damn, kitsune. I hope my fangirls don't ever get that bad…"

"That's unfortunate," he smirked. "I know several girls in my Calculus class that will be very disappointed to hear that."

"You're in Calc, too?" I asked. "Where do you find the time to try to torture your brain with that stuff?"

"Second hour," smirked Kurama, gleam returning to his eyes. "And how _was_ English?"

"How was English? Oh, I'll tell you how…wait a minute," I stared at him for a moment. "You knew?! You _knew_!! You _knew_ that fish-face was in my class and you didn't tell me!!"

"Well, technically I didn't know until he mentioned it to me earlier today…"

"Drop the innocent act! You still could have said something!"

"After that stunt you pulled in Homeroom?"

With that, I did the only thing I could– I angrily crossed my arms and pouted.

"Revenge is a bitch."

"Yes, it is."

--**END: Chap. 10**

**: : A/N : :**

Neko: Ok, before anyone tries to beat me over the head for screwing over the Japanese educational system, I'll disclaim it here: What you read in _Anem_ is only partially right. I've only attended western schools, so that's were I draw most of my details from. Granted, I do know a few things about eastern schools, a lot of it is bound to sound like Meiou is located somewhere in the U.S…..only with a higher percentage of hot Asian men and crazy demons running around.

I wince a little every time I write about how the students move classroom to classroom after class is over (in Japan it's the teachers that rotate), but for story purposes (i.e. tormenting characters as I see fit) I had to write it this way.

**Translation Corner--**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Yen** (Jap.) Japanese currency, 100 yen roughly 1.00 (U.S. currency)

**L33t Speak/i.e. The Freak on the Bus** (leet and MMO) His sentences are made up of leet and Massive Multiplayer Online (MMO) phrases and roughly translate to:

"Oh my god! You like _Assassin's Creed_? Altaïr is better than de Sable! Laugh out loud! Laugh out loud!"

"In my opinion, Desmond sucks! Just kidding!"

"Oh, my god, you suck. I am better than you in Masyaf, newbie!"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Sensei or -sensei** (Jap.) "Teacher"

**Yori Tachibana** (Jap.) Yori means "reliable" and Tachibana means "wild orange"

**Kanji** (Jap.) Japanese alphabet used to write nouns, adjectives, and verbs.

**Katakana** (Jap.) Japanese alphabet used to write foreign words, including names.

**Kurama-yama** (Jap.) "Mount Kurama" Yes, there really is a mountain in Japan called Kurama. It's located northwest of Kyoto and is supposedly the birthplace of Reiki practice. Ironically, there's also a Mount Yoko that has three peaks. I know there's also a Mount Hiei, but forget if there's a Mount Gouki as well.

**Shuichi** (Jap.) While I'm at it, I'll point out that I have a tendency to spell this with an extra "i" in the middle. Not quite sure why, by now it's just a habit. "Shuichi" means "excellence first."

**Minamino** (Jap.) "Southern Field"

**Shinigami** (Jap.) "God of Death"

**Sashimi** (Jap.) Sliced raw fish or seafood.

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"


	11. Chapter 11

Anemone

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Chapter eleven! Part two of the First Day of School Madness….only this time with the actual madness.

**--Respose To Reviewers--**

Neko: Over 100 reviews?! Seriously?! Thanks for all the support! _(prances around piles of sweet snow from **Pan**)_…And the minimal complaining about the huge delay gap in my updating schedule.

Kuro: You don't have a schedule.

Neko: Sure I do! It just changes….frequently. Anyway! On to random answers to good questions. **viper**, there's no way I'll call you dumb for asking about Kurama's human name, when I don't even bother to spell it correctly myself. In the anime, it's translated as "Suichi" (Su-ee-chii) but in the manga, it's translated as "Shuichi" (Shuu-ee-chii). Despite this, in the anime sub, sometimes I'd hear "Suichi" from some characters and "Shuichi" from others, so…take your pick. As for the manga, I've never read the original Japanese version, so I don't know for a fact if Viz translated correctly, but it's the version I go by, because I always consider the manga to be closer to what the original author intended.

Kuro: So where the hell do you get "Shuiichi" with two "ii's?"

Neko: Er…bad habit. Not quite sure where it came from, and didn't bother to try to correct in a fic where the name would come up often and lead to even more confusion if it was spelled differently each time.

Kuro: _(sarcastically)_ Nice excuse.

Neko: Ha, ha. Maybe I'll have Hiei spontaneously combust your lunch next. We're long overdue for another fight between you two, anyway.

Kuro: _(waves hand dismissively)_ Super. Anything else, or am I free to track down some rodent repellant?

Neko: Just where I stand on Mary-Sues and OCs. Not to offend anyone with my opinions, but I absolutely cannot stand Mary-Sues. One always seems to spawn another seven, and then before long, we have an entire horde of the vile things. As you've probably noticed, this fic _does_ feature the lesser of the two evils (sometimes) – OCs. Because most of the cannon-based characters that attend Meiou are lacking in backgrounds, personality, and even names, I ended up throwing a bunch in for fun. Kuro's family was also created for plot purposes, but no one has to worry about any of these characters stealing the spotlight. Some of my OCs might play a big role in some chapters then smaller parts in others, but the main focus is on Kuro and all the unfortunate things that happen to him.

Kuro: "Unfortunate?"

Neko: (grins evilly) Oh, you'll see soon enough, Wingz. And how _do_ you feel about flying projectiles engulfed in black fire?

Kuro: Ku-_so_.

--

"The world economy is a government conspiracy!!"

That would be my Business Education teacher. Charming guy, really.

"The world is destined to end with the stock market collapse of New York in 1999!"

Apparently no one in the classroom had the heart to tell him that we were already past 1999 and well into the new millennium.

"Robots resembling human form created by the corrupt Piffle Princess Corporation will turn on humanity and destroy us all….good credit scores and positive AR financing cannot save you!"

And this koumori was about ready to clock out for the day. It was too early in the morning for this and I was pretty sure that my stomach had started to digest itself. Not that my aging teacher took any note of this, he was way too wrapped up in his lecture. Just don't ask me what it was originally supposed to be about. Friendly greetings, perhaps?

"Humanity is DOOMED!!" Anaguma-sensei proclaimed, resting on foot on his chair and shaking his hands wildly at us for emphasis. Earlier, I had overheard a classmate whispering that this guy popped more pills than a drug addict, and I was beginning to believe it.

"Doomed, doomed, doomed, DOOMED!!"

If this class got any cheerier, Carebears with M-16s smoking cheap cigarettes might just pop out of the walls and open fire.

Ok, maybe not, but it would be the kinder and gentler option. We'd already had two students run out of the classroom in tears, and we were only twenty minutes in.

Was it lunch time, _yet?_

"Any questions so far?" the frumpy, whiskered old man asked us. "Questions?!"

One guy in front meekly raised his hand.

"What?!"

"I thought we were supposed to talk about Business Ergonomics today… That's what the syllabus says…"

"You'll talk about whatever I tell you to talk about!"

I was also beginning to see why he was called "Badger" behind his back.

"B-But I was just…" the boy stammered, his eyes welling with tears.

"Are you disagreeing with me, boy?! Get out of my classroom!"

And he did. In tears. That would be crier number three. All of them male.

"Now where was I? Oh, yes!" Badger cleared his throat and went on…and on…and on… "Once the economy has crashed and all of humanity is in peril, a vortex will appear to unleash the forces of darkness!"

Buddy, you dismiss us one minute late for lunch and I'll unleash the forces of darkness on _you_.

"There is no stopping the vortex!!"

And this is how class continued….for thirty minutes straight.

"So in the end, you will all die miserable and horrible deaths, and—oh, there's the bell."

The class cheered.

"Quiet down, you little franchise-consuming hellions!" Badger hollered at us, gathering his papers up. "We'll pick up this discussion again tomorrow. For tonight, read chapters one and two. There will be a quiz tomorrow, as well…Now get out of my sight!"

None of us needed to be told twice. I was downstairs in line to buy my lunch in the time it took him to hobble out the door to the faculty office. Good thing too, because the line was so slow, it was like one massive maroon colored amoeba.

"Damn, Akatsuki, you're fast!" huffed a boy behind me. I vaguely recognized him from my homeroom class as well as Badger Conspiracies 101, but his name escaped me.

"Can you blame me? Any longer in that classroom and I woulda snapped," I replied.

He laughed and caught his breath. I still couldn't think of his name.

"You should consider going out for the track team!"

"I think I'll pass…"

"You'd be great!" he insisted. "I'm on it myself, so I would know!"

"No thanks," I said and turned back around to face the front of the line.

I had to prepare myself for my big meeting with the food service here. Kuronue's Rules of Survival in the Ningenki #471: Charm the lunch ladies and you'll never go hungry.

"Would you at least consider it?"

Damn, this guy was persistant.

"Fine, fine, I'll think about!" I growled back.

I just won't think very hard about it.

"Awesome!" What's-his-face beamed.

Yeah, whatever. It's Lunch Lady Charmin' Time!

"Here you go, son…" the first of them spoke in a bored tone while plopping something resembling yakisoba onto my tray. Tokyo specialty?

"Wow! Thank you ma'am!" I smiled. "This looks delicious!"

"Er, thank you…?" she replied, confused. "You don't look familiar, are you new?"

"Yes!" I grinned. "I transferred from Kyoto, so it's my first day here."

"Well, welcome to Meiou, young man," smiled the middle-aged woman.

"Thanks," I said cheerfully before moving onto Lunch Lady Number 2.

Once again, complimenting her on the food and paying attention to her in general paid off.

"You must be new here," she stated. "I don't recall seeing you around before…"

"Yep, first day," I smiled, then transformed my happy expression to a sad one. "I'm so relieved that the staff here is so nice. At my old school, all of the servers where very cold towards students…"

The hell they were! I got a free sweet roll off them every time I went through the line!

"How terrible!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you just pack a lunch then?"

"Well, you see….my mother was always busy with work, and since my father was never around, it was my job to make sure my younger siblings got up and were ready for school each morning…" I smiled sadly.

Worked like a charm, the lady was practically in tears already.

"You poor thing! Here, have an extra serving!" she sniffled, scooping another helping of curry onto my plate.

"Wow, thank you very much ma'am!" I feigned surprise.

"Oh, what a polite young man…Shachiko!" she called over her shoulder. "Make sure to give this nice boy an extra pudding when he comes by!"

And there you have it. A guaranteed way to get the cooking staff wrapped around your finger. Meiou might be insufferable, but at least I would be eating well at it from now on.

--

After buying my lunch, I quickly snuck out of the main eating area and headed outside. The whole lunchroom thing confused the hell out of me. Back in Kyoto, we had always eaten in our classrooms, but whatever.

As expected, Kurama was already eating his lunch under the large oak tree that he had shown me during Welcome Week.

"Geez, Kitsune! I can understand you not telling me about the Fishboy in my English class, but you could have at least warned me that Anaguma was whacked too!" I shouted, trotting over carefully enough not to spill any of my lunch.

"I've never had him personally, so I could only go by the rumors," came his reply.

"Sure, sure…did you happen to hear about any of his Economy-Apocalypse conspiracy theories, 'cause that's all I heard for the entire fifty minutes in his classroom!" I complained, tearing into an odango.

"It looks like you'll recover just fine," Red smirked, eying the mountains of food on my tray. "You really haven't changed, have you?"

"Hey, a Bat's gotta eat, right?"

--

After lunch, I found myself in Novel Study…. looking straight into the frizzy-brimmed eyes of the Hairwoman. But the fun didn't stop there. Oh, no.

Fish-face was also in my class.

Why, gods, WHY?!

I glared at him and made my way to the back of the classroom once more. Surprisingly, he didn't return the glare and kept facing forward. Back to ignoring me, perhaps? Weird, but I wasn't complaining. As long as we refused to acknowledge each other, we might actually be able to make it through a class together.

Unless the Friz had anything to do with it.

"Okay, class!" she clapped her hands. "I want you to take all your desks and form them into a circle!"

_The hell? _

"This will be called our Circle of Sharing! It will help us all get to know each other and stimulate discussion!"

Great. Do we get Tachibana's Happy Sing-A-Long Time too?

Grudgingly, we all complied with the strange request and slid all of our seats around the room. My luck being what it is, landed me with a spot directly across from the Fish. Terrific. Now I was forced to spend the entire fifty minutes looking at his ugly mug. Things just get better and better at Meiou: School of the Damned.

"Now we're going to go around the circle and say our names and why you chose to take this class."

See what mean?

A few boring my name is so-and-so and I have a problem confessions later and it was my turn.

"I'm Akatsuki Kuroji and I took this class to help me with my studies."

"What studies would those be?" inquired Tachibana-sensei.

"Oh, Human Studies of course," I grinned. "See, I'm actually a demon sent to this world from a different dimension and in order to understand the ways of your people I figured I'd study your works of literature."

A few people snickered.

"Once I understand your kind, I can contact the rest of my clansmen and proceed to Phase 2 in my World Domination plan."

"O-Okay…" Frizzy replied, unsure of how to respond to my statement. Ignoring the laughter of several of my classmates, she urged the next person to go.

I tried to smile at the girls to my left, but picked up a bad scent in the air. No, it wasn't bad, it was nauseating. Disgusting. I nearly wrinkled my nose as soon as I got a good whiff, but thought better of it. Wouldn't want my peers to think I was going to puke all over them. Instead, I turned my head in the direction of the B.O. offender.

The Fish. Of couse.

Only he could send off an odor that putrid. I was just thankful I didn't have Kurama's nose. _That_ would suck.

As he caught my glance, Fish-face started to sweat even more. It must've been a cool 60 degrees in here and he looked like he just got out of a steam bath. Gross. I risked sending him a warning glare again, and returned my attention to whoever was up next in our 'Circle of Sharing.'

Fortunately, when we were all done getting to know each other and Tachibana had touched on the syllabus, the bell rang.

I stood up and grabbed my bag to go, when I was nearly run over by the Fishman.

"Hey, watch it, Fishy!" I yelled as he nearly took out a couple by the door on his way out. I just blinked. "Damn, he's really hauling ass."

"What's that guy's problem anyway?" asked a random guy two seats down from me.

"Hey, Akatsuki, when you try and take over the world do us all a favor and barbeque Kaito for your masters or something," his friend called over to me.

"Are you kidding me?" I shook my head. "He's gonna be the first one I introduce to the concept of Death-rays."

--

I could only hope Karate would go better. After all, I was pretty sure it would be the last class that that half-fish, half-human creature would take. Plus, I might even get to see Kurama if they combined classes today.

For this class, I had envisioned learning new techniques, trying them out on my classmates, and venting a little stress.

I had not envisioned signing mountains of liability contracts, gi rental papers, mass confusion in the giant gym, and tall ogres barking orders at us.

Okay, there weren't really any ogres, but to my dismay there was that same cranky and extremely unhelpful teacher I had run into earlier in the faculty lounge.

"Hope he's not my Sensei…" I muttered, signing off on my eight billionth contract, promising that I would not sue Meiou if I was killed in battle. "Where the hell's Kurama, anyway?"

"Right behind you."

I jumped a little, then spun around to face the smirking kitsune. He was already wearing his official gi and had his hair pulled up in a loose ponytail.

"Don't _do_ that!" I hissed. "You know I hate it when you do the whole sneaking up and scaring the shit out of me routine!"

The former Youko just chuckled and offered me another piece of paper.

"Did you bring your own gi or will you need to borrow one from the school?" he asked.

"Nah, I brought my own," I said, gesturing to the black gi in my bag.

"Of course….What is it?" Kurama asked, noticing the corners of my mouth curve up into a smile.

I gestured to both of our gi.

"Black…and white," I grinned. "Just like old times."

Red returned the smile just as the eviler of the two sensei in front of the crowd finally lost it.

"DAMMIT, ALL OF YOU SHUT UP AND FIND YOUR SENSEI BEFORE I USE YOU FOR BREAKFALL PRACTICE!!"

That got everyone's attention.

"I'd better get going then," Kurama chuckled. "That's Matsuoka Yukio-san, he'll be your Sensei for the semester."

"Great…" I muttered. "Just great…"

Not too long after the future Sensei of the Year's little outburst, we had all divided into our two groups. Shohei-sensei had waved to Yukio-sensei and wished him good luck before taking his group of students to the other end of the stadium-sized gym. Either he's a complete airhead or just deaf to his co-workers angry shouts of 'What the hell are you waving for, you bastard? Just take your brats out of my area!'

And now we were left with Yukio, in all his ogre-like glory. Well, maybe ogre isn't the right word…Yukio-sensei isn't obscenely hideous or anything, but he does have tree trunks for arms. A fact that made me very happy that all my bones were fortified with plenty of vitamin D and youki.

We all bowed in and Yukio-sensei turned to size us all up. Several of the freshmen and karate noobs shivered and looked down. Then I could feel his eyes rest on me. Maybe it was the black-belt? I noticed he only had two other black-belts in his group and all were up front by him sucking up. But still, asides the three of us there were plenty of yellow belts and a handful of blue. Plus I was pretty sure that one of the students towards the end of the line (who actually _did_ resemble a mountain ogre) was wearing a brown belt. Then again, he was kinda big, so it was hard to tell.

"You," Sensei said sternly towards me. "What's your name?"

"Akatsuki Kuroji," I said simply.

"Well, Akatsuki," he glared. "You're a black-belt?"

"Hai, Sensei."

"And is there some reason that you felt your gi had to match the color of your belt?"

A few of the suck-ups snickered, probably imagining somebody strutting around in a yellow gi and a yellow belt. At least I figured out what that glare was for. It just dawned on me that I was the only one wearing a different color than white. Hell, I looked like a bat in a flock of doves here!

"No, Sensei. I just transferred here from Kyoto and this is the uniform I always wore in my dojo there."

I left out the part about my old Sensei being more relaxed about us wearing different colored gis as long as they weren't too flashy.

Yukio just growled.

"No Goju-ryu master would allow that."

"I studied Wado-ryu karate."

More snickering from the high-rankers in the corner.

"He studied that style that teaches you to run way instead of counter!" I heard one whisper.

"What a loser!" laughed another.

This struck a nerve. Wado-ryu teaches a person _harmony_, so they can blend with their opponent and kick his ass with his own technique. You do this by moving out of the line of attack, not running away from the fight. Idiots.

"I know that you Goju-ryu beefheads like to flaunt that you go through strength training, but maybe a little mental training would do you some good too," I smirked. "Or maybe this was just the only style that would let muscle-heads in?"

Yukio-sensei cut them off before they could scream something back at me.

"You seem eager to prove yourself, boy," he sneered. "Why don't I give you the opportunity to show us how good your style really is? I'm sure my senior students wouldn't mind testing you at all."

The two black-belts and the huge brown-belt jumped to their feet faster than you could say 'overcompensating.' Everyone else backed up to give us some space.

Someone wanna explain to me how we went from kihon to _kumite_?

The three of them circled me, looking for the best opening. Seriously, though. Three-on-one? Talk about unfair. Sure most of us had the same rank, but the disadvantage here was huge.

There's no way the three of them could even hope to win against me. They'd need at least three _hundred_ more black-belts fighting for them to even things out.

"Before we start, I just wanna ask you guys something," I grinned. "You signed those liability waivers, right?"

The three of them let out a battle cry and charged me like raging bulls.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy introducing these guys to the wonders of painkillers, antiseptic, and bandages.

Not wanting to show off too much, I did one of the simpler katas on these guys. Despite their simultaneous attacking, I never even lost my rhythm….probably because I was using my own technique at three times the average human speed.

I had to get my point across, after all.

After I was done sufficiently wowing the crowd, I turned to face Yukio-sensei with a smirk on my face. I was expecting him to frown, seethe, or challenge me himself.

He just returned the cocky grin.

"With some work, you might just be useful after all."

"Huh?" I sweatdropped. Where the hell did this come from? I just kicked his best students' asses! Was he seriously _complimenting_ me?

"You three, take these guys to the nurse's office. If Naoto gives you any crap, tell him to bite me," ordered our sensei.

Three blue belts gave a quick "Hai, Sensei!" and took off dragging their senpai to the doctor. I was still staring at Yukio in disbelief.

"I'll have to personally train the hell out of you these next few classes, but you may just have the strength to beat that idiot Shohei's best student."

A few of the guys gasped behind me and then burst out cheering.

"Shut up, already!" growled our ever so kind and compassionate Sensei. "Skip the syllabus, we'll have to begin right away. You senior students partner up with the white belts and show them why Goju-ryu is the most feared karate style!"

"Hai, Sensei!!"

Better them then me, I guess.

"As for you," Yukio smirked, returning his attention to me. "You're training begins now."

And he threw a punch at me, followed by a snap kick to the face.

Wonderful.

Yet again, I find myself in one of those ever-expanding holes in the ground. I don't even need the shovel to dig myself in further either, because below me is an earthquake and above me is a dump truck ready to fill in the giant whole in the ground. Myself included.

I know I'd have little difficulty beating Yukio-sensei bloody like his goon squad, but then I'd risk standing out even more…if possible. Since I couldn't have that, I had to put up with the man swinging at me all hour.

"Stop dodging all my attacks and fight back!"

"What kind of attack was that?! That's no Goju-ryu technique!"

"More force! Use more force or I'll mop the floor with your face!"

"You call yourself a Goju-ryu student?! You'll never beat Shohei's little prodigy like that!"

"I will never allow that boy to beat another of my senior students with that damned Shotokan style ever again!"

For the first time in my life, I actually considered letting my opponent KO me….if only for the reason that if I was unconscious I wouldn't have to listen to this crap.

Not once did I ever mention abandoning my art and learning Yukio's instead. Hence the whole Kuronue attacking with Wado-ryu karate. This also means _blending_ with your opponent, not taking them down right away with brute force, no matter how tempting it was to shove my foot up this sensei's ass. And when the hell did I ever agree to fighting Shohei's student? Any chance of enjoying that fight was quickly being taken away by Yukio going on and on _and on_ about him. I was already starting to hate the guy before I even met him.

Fortunately, Kurama was there after class to hear all of this in great detail.

--

"If I have to hear one more word about Shohei-sensei's 'famous student' I am going to kill something" I sighed angrily. "Who is he anyway? Do you happen to know?"

Kurama glanced up at the ceiling to ponder this for a moment before suddnely remembering.

"Oh, right. That's me."

I stared at him blankly.

"_What?!"_

"I'm not officially part of the Karate club, but I help out on occasion because I used to take lessons from Shohei-sensei as a child," Kurama explained. "For some reason, Shohei-sensei still insists on recognizing me as his senior student."

"So you're the one that's been beating up all of Yukio's best?"

"Would you want to willingly lose to an average human?"

Demon honor. Right.

Well at least I had something to think about while I blocked out my Art teacher's voice next hour. A showdown with Kurama definitely sounded like it could relieve the boredom around here. Especially if we got to spar often. I could even put up with Yukio-sensei if it meant getting to spar often.

I still wasn't sure how good Kurama was in his new form because I only saw him in action with those low level demons a few nights ago. We should be about equal in strength though. And this time I had the advantage…This time there were no cute ears for me to pull on or fluffy tails for me to avoid stepping on….Well, that and the fact that I was pretty sure Kurama wouldn't summon his creepy deathtree in the middle of the gymnasium. Probably.

My teacher had started talking about the color wheel. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil. Can't yell at a guy for drawing in an art class, right? The guy on the stool next to me was sketching a surprisingly realistic rendition of some medieval sword. I liked the concept and began doodling my own version of a stick figure stabbing a squirrel-like beast with a similar sword.

The weapons doodler glanced over at my masterpiece and bit his lip down to keep his laughter in.

"You have to make the blade longer," he finally said.

"Why?"

"So that dude has a farther reach and doesn't get as much monster guts on him."

Instantly we had a connection.

--

I managed to leave Art 110 in a relatively good mood.

How easily that changed.

On my way back to my locker, I decided to cut through the courtyard. It was there that I ran right into Mr. Smell E. Fish. For reasons I felt better left unanswered, he was hunched over on a bench, rocking back and forth. Right.

I'll just try and sneak right past him and—

"Akatsuki!" he yelled out angrily. "Your time has come!"

Dammit. I hate it when my time does that.

"Now what do you want, Fishman?" I sighed, scratching my head. "I'm all out of fresh deodorant if that's what you're looking for…"

He responded by summoning a large amount of reiki around his body and expanding it just as quickly as he summoned it. As it passed through me, I couldn't help but shudder. It gave me the feeling of being sucked into a different dimension or something.

"The hell'd you just do, you freak?!" I shouted.

"You'd best watch what you say in my Territory, Akatsuki," he chucked in a very fish-like way. "Or I might just steal your filthy soul!"

Wait. Was he serious?

"So then, I asked my teacher about some of the algorithms we went over in class and he just referred me to the tutoring services here!"

"What a jerk! It's too bad Shuiichi's not a part of that, huh? I'd do _anything_ to be his student…"

"No, no, no! It's "Kurama" now, Arisa! Didn't you hear? That new transfer student grew up with him and gave him that nickname, now we're all calling him that!"

"You need help, girlfriend. You're turning into such a groupie!"

I risked looking behind me at the group of three girls that seemed to walk right into the Fish's barrier-thingy without noticing it. No big deal, it just meant that their reiki levels weren't high enough to detect it…

"OMIGAWD!!" shrieked one of the girls.

"AHHHHH!!" another screamed.

The third girl in their group had frozen solid, almost as if she was being turned to stone. Her friends tried shaking her, but to no avail. Her soul suddenly shot out of her lifeless body and floated over to the Fish.

"You see? Say the wrong word and your soul belongs to me."

The two remaining girls took one last look at their friend and then the nerd in front of them before fainting on the spot.

"You are so _dead_…" I growled.

"Bite your tongue, beast," he scowled. "In here you have no power over me. You might be able to overpower me in the real world, but in here actions don't always speak louder than words."

Another student unsuspectingly strolled right into Fish Land, carrying a boken, probably on his way to practice. He stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he caught sight of the girls.

"Get out of here!" I shouted. "He did something weird to them!"

"What?" he said, eyes narrowing on the floating blue soul in Fishy's hand. "Don't worry, I'll get him!"

"Wait!"

But it was no use. The swordsman had already started barreling towards his target, who just stared at him with a bored expression.

CRACK

The wooden sword was instantly smashed to bits the second it encountered Kaito's invisible shield.

"N-No way!" stammered the boy, backing up in disbelief.

I guess he wasn't kidding about the whole action thing. This battle didn't call for brawn, it called for brains. Which meant Kurama.

"Hey! Without saying his name, I need you to go find my friend. He's the top student here, do you know him?" I asked quickly, for all I knew 'Kurama' might be the forbidden word that sucks your soul out like a spiritually-powered vacuum cleaner.

"Y-Yeah! Kurama-kun! I'll go get him to help us beat this asshole! They know each other don't they—?"

I smacked my forehead as he went stiff and lost his soul to the bottom-dweller in front of us. This was not going in my favor at all. I needed some answers, so I wracked my brain for all the safe words that had been said so far.

"This…thing…is you?" I asked. "You do something weird…asshole?!"

"If you're asking about my territory, then yes, I did create it," sneered the geek. "Of course anyone can enter or leave at any time, don't think I won't follow you with it if you try to run."

"No way," I glared.

I wasn't about to spend my entire life running from someone who looked like they could be on Weight Watchers.

"Now what are you doing?" He asked, watching me pull out my cellphone. "It won't do you any good to call someone if you have to actually speak their name."

He had a point, but that wasn't important. I hit a few buttons at warp speed then flipped it shut angrily. With my luck, the Iro drool probably made the damned thing defective anyway.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you're a terrible person."

"Because I'm a…terrible person?!" I nearly burst out laughing. I've been called many things before, but 'terrible person?' C'mon. Looking for a little more originality than that, folks.

"Why?" I asked, trying to simultaneously stop laughing and buy time.

"I'm special…" Kaito said staring at his hand with all the seriousness of a superhero.

"Special Ed.?" I couldn't resist.

"I can sense things that other people can't," Kaito clarified angrily. "Like how you're not as innocent as the front you're putting up. I can tell that you're really a malevolent demon that managed to infiltrate this institution."

_Institution_ is right…

"You try to act like a good person, but you'll never fool me!" he continued. "As soon as you speak the taboo word, I'll have your soul and destroy it before the Gods of Death themselves realize what's happened!!"

His reiki shot up again sharply, but that was nothing compared to the other presence that appeared on the playing field.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that," stated a cold voice behind the fanatical fish.

And there he was. My savior. Looking positively furious, I might add.

"M-M-Minamino…" Fishy squeaked weakly.

"My hero!" I exclaimed dramatically.

"Kuro…" The redhead said just as coldly, his eyes threatening to go gold at any moment. "…Shut up."

I saluted him and crouched down by the unconscious ningen, ready to use the big guy as a human shield if necessary. Nevermind what Kaito could do, the girls and I were far too pretty to be eaten by a daisy of death today.

"I thought I warned you not to use your power around innocent people, Kaito," Kurama stated, calming down a bit now that he had a better grasp of the situation.

"B-But, I was just--!" Fishface stammered, pointing at me. "He's not the person he's pretending to be! He wants to kill us all!"

Say _what?_

Even though he didn't say much, the ningen was already breathing so hard, I thought he was going to go into labor. Sweat streaked down his face and stained through his uniform. Again, I pitied Kurama and his sensitive nose.

"Kuro isn't harmless, but he isn't a threat either, Kaito," the kitsune explained, closing his eyes. Whether it was to gather his thoughts or block out the scent that assaulted his sinuses was anybody's guess. Finally, he opened his eyes again. "He won't do anything that will endanger the lives of anyone here."

"B-But, he's—"

"He won't pull anything here, because he knows that he'll have to get through me first."

So true, so true.

"Call off your Territory, Kaito," Red ordered. "We've already attracted enough attention as it is."

Reluctantly, Fugly complied. In a flash, I could feel the field of reiki shrink back to the size of it's caster's hand and then nothing. Just as quickly, the souls of the two students returned and they woke up with a start. I was beside them, ready with an excuse, but Kurama was faster. Four memory-erasing spells later and they were on their way, forgetting the entire event completely.

The mastermind himself took off pretty quick as well. A few unintelligible mutters about 'evil monsters' and 'pie' and I barely noticed him leave for his next class. Kurama just sighed.

"You had me worried."

"Did I?"

"Of course," he replied, pulling his cellphone out of his pocket. "Anybody would be concerned after getting a text message that 'the world was ending in the main courtyard, so Youko-out and get me the hell away from here.' Interesting way of asking for help, but it was the safest, given the situation."

"And what was the big scary word that none of us were allowed to say? Kurama? Shuiichi? Jerk?"

Kitsune pulled out another piece of paper from his pocket. It looked kind of like a rules sheet.

"_Help_, naturally."

"Naturally…" I sweatdropped.

--**END: Chap. 11**

**:A/N:**

Neko: And with that, a new rivalry is formed…or cemented. God, Kuro, you suck at this whole "Making Friends" thing. Not even I have that many people out to kill me.

Kuro: Stuff it, I have tons of female fans.

Neko: Fans and friends are two different things. Fans always have the possibility of turning into fanatics and then attacking you. Friends are the ones brave enough to stand up to them to save your ass.

Kuro: Exactly why Kurama's my friend. He's used to fangirls. So while they get distracted by him, I escape and—

Neko: _(grins)_ Get attacked by Hiei?

Kuro: _(glares)_ I can handle Tiny-man!

**Translation Corner--**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**-Sensei** (Jap.) honorific for "Teacher"

**Gi** (Jap.) "Clothes" or "Uniform" the uniform worn for many martial arts. I know that most Sensei prefer the traditional white gi and that wearing a flashy gi is considered immature, but I just couldn't picture Kuro in anything else but black.

**Hai** (Jap.) "Yes"

**Wado-ryu, Goju-ryu, and Shotokan-ryu** (Jap.) Three of the four traditional styles of karate recognized by the Federation of All Japan Karatedo Organization. (The fourth style is Shito-ryu) These are also called the "Big Four" styles of karate.

**Kihon **(Jap.) "Fundamentals" or "Basics" in this case of karate.

**Kumite** (Jap.) "Sparring"

**Senpai** (Jap.) "Senior Student"

**Kohai** (Jap.) "Junior Student"

**-Kun** (Jap.) honorific mostly used with boys to show familiarity or friendship.

**Kata **(Jap.) "Forms" A technique with several steps to it.

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**Kuso** (Jap.) "Damn" or "Shit"


	12. Chapter 12

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: This chapter brought to you by a random urge to imagine Kuronue and Kurama in pinstripe suits. How does it fit into the much-neglected plot? Yeah…don't ask.

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Ok, I know all you Story Alerters got the notice that I updated Anem, and were like "That freak actually got the next chapter up in less than three months?! WTF?!"

Kuro: Can you blame them?

Neko: _(sweatdrops) _….No. Shut up. (shuffles random papers) Ooh! This is an interesting poll.

Kuro: What? Did the Iro-supporters decide to jump off a cliff?

Neko: No, apparently the readers think Youko's hotter than you. Sorry.

Kuro: What?! That can't be true! Right, Neko?!

Neko: (turns around, points to sky) Oh, look! A star!

Kuro: ……

Neko: And I promise I'll do my best not to disappear. It'll take more than a stranger pulling up in a limo and asking me to get in.

Kuro: Oh, really?

Neko: Sure. He'd have to be hot…and have candy. Lots of candy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I swear to god I could actually _feel_ my braincells commit mass suicide during Badger's latest lecture of The Individual, The Economy, and The World That Will Inevitably Screw Everyone Over."

"You don't say…"

"Ugh…the only thing that got me through that fifty minutes was the knowledge that they'd be serving okonomiyaki for lunch today.

"It's good you have your priorities straight."

"I'm telling you, Kurama, the only thing I'm going to take from this semester is how to write an award-winning novel about boredom!"

Scholarly stuff has never been my thing. Not in Makai, not in the Ningenkai, and I'm pretty sure that when I die for real and go to Reikai, it won't be my thing there, either. Kurama knows this and knows this well….which is why he gets to hear about it every lunch period. The lucky guy!

The first week of school was already drawing to a close, but I wasn't about to drop this topic any time soon.

"And then while I'm trying to focus on the window behind Fish-head, he just gives me the stink-eye and gets Tachibana's permission to pull the blinds!"

While I know Red's heard a million other stories just like this one, he continued to listen and eat leftover kitsune udon—which I still joke is cannibalism, but learned not to gesture along with it. Last time I pretended to poke at my friend's fangs, a sword descended from the heavens and nearly landed between my eyes.

Oh, yeah. It was also _on fire_.

Tree-rat still claims that he misunderstood the gesture as an attack against Kurama. Bastard.

"Would you like to help out with a mission then?" offered the former Youko.

"A mission?" I asked, curious.

The tree growled its disapproval and Kurama looked up to give it a warning glance. I admit that I feel much safer having him here. Knowing that the fox can will the oak tree to bind the Tree-Rat with its own branches at the drop of a hat (or sword) is very comforting.

"If you have something to say, come down here and say it, Tree-Rat."

This landed me a warning glance from the redhead. I think it was intended to say 'Don't encourage him' but I took it more as 'Either of you start a fight and the custodian will be picking up pieces of you _both _off the side of the school walls.' Deciding that it would suck to die wearing something so…_pink_…I decided to play nice. For now, anyway.

"Koenma actually asked me to mention it to you to see if you were interested," Kurama continued.

"Koenma knows I'm here?! Shit, he's not gonna arrest me or anything is he?!" I asked in shock. "….He's not still pissed about that little insult at IHOP is he?"

"As long as you've covered your tracks since becoming 'Akatsuki Kuroji' you should be fine," the kitsune laughed.

"How'd he find me, though?"

"One thing you'll learn about Botan is that she loves to talk."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apparently the mission was to recover a potentially dangerous artifact from a youkai posing as a human living nearby. Makai goes suburbia, I love it. Kurama said he was told that other Reikai agents had asked about it, but the youkai resisted. In order to avoid causing a big tussle in the middle of human turf, Koenma assigned the Tantei to get it quietly. Your typical, run-of-the-mill recovery mission.

"And by 'recover' you mean 'steal,' right?"

"The report will say otherwise, but yes," grinned Kurama. "Interested?"

"Of course," I smiled, tightening the cord on my amulet a little. I wanted to make sure I had it around next lunch period, so I could pray to the gods of prettiness not to let flaming swords streak out of the sky and poke me in the eye every time I offended obnoxious, twitchy little Tree-Rats.

On our way back to the school, I noticed my friend looked a little down all of the sudden. Strange, he was fine just a minute ago. Could he be having second thoughts about thieving? ….Is that even possible?

"Ok, I know you're Youko and all, so I have a question—Why hasn't Walmart gone mysteriously bankrupt yet?" I asked with a grin. "You haven't gotten rusty, have you?"

"Well…" Kurama started, holding up something small in his hand. "I did just steal your wallet in the time it took you to ask such a ridiculous question."

I reached for the missing wallet in my pocket.

"Ooh…You still got it."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kuama had told me to meet him at his locker after school and we'd go to the target's house right away. He also said he had the disguises, but left the aliases up to me. I love aliases. Even more so, now that I've come to the human world and discovered the joys of video games. I had been _missing out_ those last few years I spent in the Makai. The birth of Nintendo had been a beautiful thing.

According to my partner in crime, the target appeared to be a middle-aged woman living alone in a middle-class area of housing. She lived amongst the humans, but it was just for disguise purposes. The target probably couldn't even tell you the name of the prime minister, much less the name of an RPG character.

Our aliases are so going to be Sabin Figaro and Locke Cole.

I got there as soon as I could.

"Sabin Figaro and Locke Cole?"

"Yeah, I figured we could be insurance agents for Returners Car Insurance."

"Okay," replied the fox nonchalantly as he reached for something in the bottom of his locker.

Of course he was fine with it. The names didn't sound remotely Japanese or convincing even, but as long as he gets to be the thief, he doesn't bat an eyelash.

"Here," he said, tossing me a bag. "Put that on when we get closer to the house."

"What's in it?" I asked poking through it.

"Suits, sunglasses, briefcases…anything I thought we'd need for disguises."

"Where'd you score the stash?"

"Armani was having…a sale."

"Right," I said, looking at him sarcastically. "A sale."

"Everything was 90 percent off," he shrugged with a grin.

"And the other 10 percent?"

"I had to pay for the plane ticket to Italy."

"What the hell were you doing in freaking _Italy_?!"

"Youko wanted to see _The Last Supper_."

"Wasn't that stolen recently?"

"Life's funny that way."

"Life's funny that national treasures go missing during your stays in foreign countries? I bet the black market loves that."

"It went to a good cause," he said defensively.

"What? Your pocketbook?" I asked sarcastically.

"Only half. The rest went to a children's hospital fund."

I rolled my eyes.

"How very Robin Hood-like of you."

"That's what Maid Marian said," grinned the fox with a gleam of gold in his eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After clearing the landmines of fangirls and freaks from Meiou, we stopped at a small convenience store to change into our thievin' outfits. Kurama had the right idea. Forget black turtlenecks and hats, if we really need to rob people all we need are business suits and ties. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the lady took one look at us in all our pinstriped Armani glory and just _gave_ us the artifact we were after.

I took off the designer shades and winked at the young clerk.

"If I told you I had the key to your heart would you give it to me?"

She very nearly fainted in sheer bliss. Her older co-worker walked over to see what was going on. This lady's hair was dyed and piled up into hundreds of tight curls and waves that stayed in place by no less then two bottles of industrial strength hair spray. Her make-up was so thick, that she looked like she'd be right at home on a kabuki stage. If we were in America, her name would be Gladys.

"What's going o-o-on-omygoodness…" she stammered, mirroring her co-worker's reaction.

We were good to go.

I paid for my pastry snack and left for the target's house with Kurama. It was just like he described, boring house in the boring middle of a boring suburban area. Even the lawn was pretty sparse—no bloody knives, severed arms, cultish symbols, dead bodies, nothing. Lack of originality doesn't even apply here. It was just hard to believe a demon lived in the two-story house I was looking at from across the street.

"If I couldn't pick up her youki, I'd think we had the wrong place," I complained.

"What's important is that we get the artifact back," Kurama reminded me.

"Yeah, yeah…"

We crossed the street, rung the doorbell, and put on our best salesmen smiles.

"Hello?" greeted the female youkai, opening the door. Instantly she was entranced by the handsome youkai on her doorstep. "M-M-May I help you?"

"Good afternoon Miss, my name is Sabin Figaro and this is my associate, Locke Cole," I beamed. "We're representatives from Returners Insurance Agency, at your service."

"Our company covers everything from automobile to homeowner's insurance," my red-haired accomplice added, without skipping a beat. "We've been in the business for over 60 years and enjoy the highest ratings in the industry for financial strength and claims-paying ability."

"Would you like to hear how we could change your life today?" I grinned.

The flustered woman wasted no time in throwing the door open and inviting us in for tea and cookies. Are we good or what?

"Whether you own your home outright or still have 29 years left on your mortgage, your home is one of your most important financial investments," I rambled on, suddenly grateful for taking so many business classes.

The homeowner in question, Shoko Yamada (who'd given us no less than her name, occupation, favorite pastimes, and measurements) bobbed her head happily and sipped her tea.

"We can get you a homeowner's rate quote today and help you set up an affordable policy to help you protect your home and possessions," Kurama continued our impromptu spiel.

"It goes against our personal policy to let such a beautiful young lady such as yourself live in this dangerous world unprotected from whatever life may throw your way," I said dramatically, crooked smile in place.

I think she melted into a pile of fangirlish goo on the spot.

After a few minutes of Insurance BS, I excused myself to 'use the bathroom.' Not the smoothest trick in the book, but it's not like Ms. Yamada thought we were here for any other purpose than to talk about insurance policies.

I immediately started looking around for the item after a quick security check. Despite the mission, I felt very relaxed and knew I had all the time in the world to find the little trinket, since Kurama was talking. If there's one thing that youko can do (besides stealing) it's charming the ladies.

I seriously doubt the lady even knew what the hell an umbrella insurance policy was or whether she was protected or not, but as long as she could keep words coming out of Kurama's mouth she could care less.

Entering what must serve as her office area, I found the artifact easily. The crazy pen-shaped thing inside a small glass case matched Koenma's written description exactly. The lock keeping it inside was so weak, I wanted to cry. If I had something of any importance to Reikai, I'd have that thing behind _bars_.

I safely tucked the object into my pocket and returned to the living room. Kurama was saying something about policy coverages and Ms. Yamada was on the edge of her seat. This woman clearly didn't get out enough.

"Well, I'd like to thank you for your time, Ms. Yamada, but we really should be going," I said to cue Kurama.

"W-Wait! Can't I at least get a business card or something?" our 'client' practically begged.

"Of course," Kurama smiled, pulling one out of his briefcase. "I have one right here."

As she turned to face him, the crafty little kitsune blew the pollen off a Dreaming Plant in her direction. She instantly fell asleep on her couch and would wake up thinking we were nothing but a dream, if she even remembered us at all.

I showed the artifact to Kurama to get his confirmation, and with the nod, we were back to the entrance of the house in less than a minute.

"Something wrong?" he asked, picking up on my saddened expression.

"I just feel guilty, I guess…"

"What do you mean?"

"Here we were posing as insurance salesmen and I forgot to tell her something important…"

"That being…?" Kurama asked with raised eyebrows.

"That in fifteen minutes or less, she could save fifteen percent or more on her car insurance by switching to—"

"—Let's go," he sweatdropped as we walked out to her front steps. "And here I thought you hated lizards."

"Hey, he's a gecko, Iro's the devil," I corrected, shutting the door behind us. "There's a _huge_ difference."

Once outside, Kurama stopped to 'talk to a tree' and report the successful mission. The scene would look comical if I didn't know that the fire-rat was in it.

"Why didn't the spikey-haired brat want to come along?" I asked no one in particular.

"Because I didn't want to look like as big a fool as you in those human clothes," the 'tree' snarled back at me.

And with that the little jerk took off. I didn't see this of course, but I could feel his youki getting farther and farther away.

"Does he always play stalker on missions like this?"

Kurama just laughed.

"No, he usually avoids recon or recovery missions. Maybe he thought there was something he could do to help out on this one?"

"I don't think burning that lady's house down would have helped much."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a sucessful mission. Well, okay, it wasn't really much of a "mission" to a pair of theives that spent their time stealing treasures from demon lords, dragons, and deathwishers, but hey, it beat writing my English paper. I looked over at Kurama to ask him more about the weird pen thingy, but he looked lost in thought again.

"You okay?"

"Eh?" he responded. "Yeah…just thinking."

"I know that look," I chided him, drooping my arm on his shoulder. "That's your Overthinking It Face."

"…My what?"

"You really wanna keep that pen thing and use it to destroy Meiou, right?"

He laughed.

"However, if you get to use the weird pen thing, I get to use the weird pen thing too."

"And what would you use it on, then?"

"Friday Fish Fry."

I had meant it to be a joke, but Kurama took it a little more personally.

"I'm sorry about Kaito attacking you the other day, Kuronue."

As nice as it was to hear someone call me by my real name, I resisted the urge to smile and bust a move. "It's fine, but why are _you_ apologizing?"

"Kaito hasn't had any real experience with youkai before and grew up thinking I was just as human as everyone else," the kitsune explained. "He's only heard stories about how brutal they are, so suddenly when I wasn't the only demon on campus he felt threatened and became very...cautious."

'Cautious' was one word for it, 'psychotic' was another.

"Hey, I said it's fine, Red!" I tried to reassure him. "Not like it's your fault anyway."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was about six or so when I finally got back home. I forced Kurama to go to a celebratory Ramen Victory Meal at the first stand we passed, and then he had to head off to Reikai to give Koenma his lame pen protector back.

I got to keep the suit.

"I'm home, not hungry, and going to my room!" I called out as soon as I opened the front door. No point in sneaking in with all three residents home.

"Kuroji-chan!" I could hear Hazuki shout from the kitchen as she got closer. "Where have you been? You didn't call or any—oh, my god."

She saw the suit.

"Where in the name of all that's magical did you land yourself an _Armani_ suit?!"

"Um…a friend gave it to me?"

"Which one?" she asked in disblief. "The prince or the oil tycoon?"

"The movie star," I answered sarcastically. "Kurama had to attend a formal contract signing and let me come with."

By this time Hana had now entered the room to see what the ruckus was about.

"You're friends with a movie star?! Like, does he know Nokuru-sama?!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, they have lunch together every Thursday," I rolled my eyes. "You can't really believe I— Eh?"

I just then notice Hazuki and Hana huddled in a corner whispering frantically and giggling, clear signs they've already entered the land of Celebrity Worship/Stalkage.

Oh, shit.

"Dumbass," Hiro sneered, head poked out of the kitchen doorway.

"Who asked you?" I snarled, kicking off my shoes and heading towards the stairs.

It was already too late to save Mom or Hana.

Won't Kurama be surprised the first time he comes to visit and is asked to sign autographs?

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 12**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Yeek. Ended up pretty choppy, but that's what happens when you write stuff based off of fangirlish desires and about negative 7 hours of sleep. Mmm…pinstripes…

I'll try to squeeze a better Kuro vs. Hiei battle in somewhere soon. Those are fun to write! Next chappie I'll actually be (gasp!) returning to the plot and filling in a few loopholes!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Kitsune udon **(Jap.) A type of Japanese noodle dish. Very yummy. Not made with actual fox meat, calm down.

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Armani** (It.) Clothing company named after some Italian guy. All you really need to know is 'Sexy Pinstripe Suits.'

**Sabin Figaro & Locke Cole** (Jap.) If you recognize these names, congratulations, you are awesome. If not, do yourself a favor and play _Final Fantasy VI_. Kuro-muu was almost Setzer, but I fought the urge lol.


	13. Chapter 13

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: I was tempted to write "Actually returning to the plot for a change" in the Warning, but decided against it. Kuro tangents and all…

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: Well, everyone who wanted Kurama to meet the Akatsuki family, I hope the beginning gives ya a laugh. The extended version comes up in a few more chapters. I liked reading everyone else's requests for certain characters to meet each other, and can safely say that most of those will happen at some point in the story. Except for yours, **ChibiLady**. Can you imagine the bloodshed if Kuro and Yomi met? I'd have to change the rating on this thing! Lol.

Kuro: Who's Yomi?

Neko: Don't worry about it. And **snowchild of the moon**, I have no clue where the heck the idea for Iro came from. My brain operates on a different, more psychotic wavelength then most, so when I decided to come up with a pet for the Akatsuki family it ended up being something random instead of normal.

Kuro: And the homicidal part?

Neko: Oh. _(eats cookie gift)_ That was just to screw with you.

Kuro: _(sarcastically)_ Thanks, Neko. Thanks a lot.

Neko: Anytime, Wingz. Tormenting you helps put me in a better mood. Hell, I reread some of the chapters from this fic when I'm in a bad mood to remind myself of all the crap I put you through. Brings a smile to my face.

Kuro: Sadist.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been one week since I started Meiou: School of the Damned, and all I've really learned that high school is overrated and weekends are sacred.

At least they are when I get to sleep in.

Today, I was woken up not once, not twice, but three freaking times in the space of four hours! The first time was my mom getting ready for work, which was fine until she attempted to make breakfast and set the fire alarm off. Let's just say sirens and bats don't get along and that the dent in my ceiling had been there all along as far as I was concerned.

The second time was when Hiro tripped and fell down the stairs. Normally, this would have been funny, but I wasn't laughing when I had to carry the unconscious little twerp back to his bed. Hana nagged me the entire way that we should call an ambulance and not move him in case of head injury. Being the authority of the house with Hazuki gone, I vetoed that decision because if I heard one more bloody siren today, I'd _give_ Hiro a head injury. He was fine a little later and Iro was not seen for the remainder of the morning.

That brings us to interruption number three—just when I thought I'd catch a break, the damned doorbell rang.

It was only eleven in the morning! Let me sleep, people!

It rang again and something exploded in the kitchen.

"Kuroji! Get the door!" somebody, probably Hiro, shouted from downstairs.

I grumbled something kind and brotherly in return, pulled the pillow out from over my head, and trudged downstairs. Clearly this was the makings of yet another fine morning in the Ningenkai.

"Bloody humans…" I muttered.

This never happened to me in the Makai, oh, no. In Makai, I got to sleep in as late as I wanted (partially because Youko wasn't a morning person either). In Makai, I didn't have to put up with sirens or complaints much before noon because any in violation of this code were shot on the spot. And in Makai, _I didn't have to answer my own freaking door!_

"If this is another one of those Jehovah's witnesses, I'm kicking their head in…"

Not caring that I was still dressed for bed and had a particularly bad case of bedhead this morning, I threw open the door, ready to kill whoever was on the other side.

"This had better be really impor—Kurama?!" I nearly choked on my words. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Selling car insurance," he replied sarcastically, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What do you think?"

Judging by the tone of his voice, he was probably rudely awakened this morning too. Being a night owl must be more than genetic, it must follow you around no matter what body you inhabit.

"Uh…"

But I didn't have time to retort. From behind me, Hana came out of the smoky kitchen to see who was at our doorstep.

"Aniki, who's—Kyaaa!" she squealed at the sight of Kurama, who despite sounding just as tired as me, put more effort into his appearance.

Hana was all over this in a millisecond.

"A-Are you a movie star?!" she asked, going starry-eyed at my red-haired friend.

I mentally slapped myself. How did I not feel his energy until now?! Oh, right. Sleeping. But never mind that! I was pretty sure Kurama wasn't ready to meet my family until he came with a tranquilizer gun.

"No, I'm just a friend of Kuroji's," the kitsune smiled at her.

At least he had his act together. I tried to follow suit before Hana launched into another one of her fangirlish spasms.

"Oh! Riiiiight! That was _today_!" I laughed. "Sorry man, I completely forgot!"

The two others looked at me oddly. Hana, unsure if it was really Hiro that landed on his head earlier and Kurama, waiting for a chance to back me on my next story.

I turned to Hana first.

"Sorry, sis! I forgot I was meeting with Kurama here to go over some notes for a Biology project!" I ruffled her hair. "Seeya around! We gotta get going!"

"Like that?" Hana asked, pointing to my sleepwear in confusion.

"Uh…"

"What's going on out there, you two?" called a feminine voice from the kitchen.

Ah, hell. It wasn't Hiro that I had heard earlier…it was Hazuki. Probably back home on her lunch break, at the worst possible time as usual.

It took her even less time than Hana to identify a bishounen at the door and turn herself into some kind of cross between a hostess and a starstruck mother faaaar too in touch with her inner fangirl.

"Oh, my! Come in! Come in! Welcome!" Hazuki beamed, in full sparkle mode. "Don't mind my son here, he has such horrible manners making a guest wait outside like that!"

I would like to add that the aforementioned son was currently unable to defend himself because the aforementioned mother was stepping over his spinal column to get to the aforementioned eye-candy. I would also like to add that high heels hurt.

"Are you a friend of Kuroji's?" she asked excitedly. "It's so nice to have such handsome young men over!"

"Get off me, already!" I yelled in vain.

"U-Um…" Kurama stammered, unsure of whether to ask the woman with the deathgrip on his hands to kindly remove her shoe from my spine or to ignore his dying friend in need.

"Oh, you're so _cute_!" my mother squealed. "What's your name? Are you a model or something? I think I've seen you in an add somewhere…"

"His name is Kurama!" exclaimed Hana, with excitement usually reserved for that talk show host they always obsess over.

"Kurama, huh? What a gorgeous name!" Hazuki praised him before pulling the confused kitsune into a hug. "Welcome to our home, Kurama-kun!"

"Yes! Please come in!" my little sister added, eagerly tugging on his free hand.

"Th-Thank you," the redhead said a little uncertainly as he was ushered towards the living room. Recognizing the threat, I immediately sprang to my feet and yanked him free. "Kuroji?"

"He can't stay! We really gotta be going! Big bio project and all!"

"Sure, Kuroji-chan, but can I make a suggestion first?" Hazuki asked, not bothering to wait for a response. "Pants? …And maybe some hair gel?"

Crap! Forgot about that. I blushed in spite of myself. She knew where to get me where it hurt. Yeah, I could pull off sleepwear as the latest fashion statement, but I wasn't leaving this house with hair going off in more directions than the tree-rat's.

"Okay, Kurama, just give me five minutes to get ready and we can go," I whispered. "You can make a break for it through an open window if things get hairy."

"Pun intended?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Sh-Shut up!" I growled and took off towards the stairs. Feeling guilty, I turned around sadly. If I was leaving him in Hazuki's clutches, this might be the last time I ever saw him alive. Wiping an imaginary tear, I dramatically told him to 'Be strong' and flew up the remaining stairs.

Being the wonderful friend that I am, I quickly got myself ready to go and took off down the stairs to save my old partner in record time. Hmm…I guess all that practice being late for school helped after all.

Too bad it didn't help me with the scene I walked in on.

Both Kurama and Hana were standing up and she had something in her hands. Something green…and evil.

"And this is my pet chameleon, Irogami, we call him 'Iro' for short."

"That's a nice name," the redhead smiled, holding out a hand towards Satan. "You don't see many chameleons these days."

Very slowly, the abomination in my sister's hands raised a paw towards him.

"Noooooo!!" I screamed, leaping off stairwell and towards Iro. "If that thing even makes eye-contact with you it'll swallow your soul!!"

I managed to knock the beast away from both innocents and began rolling around with him on the floor. Insert skirmish here.

"Aniki! What are you doing to my Iro?!" Hana shrieked.

"What are you doing to my _carpet_?!" hollered Hazuki, even more panic-stricken than her daughter. "You spill one drop of blood and I'll—"

"Mother!"

"Er, I mean, stop that this instant, Kuroji!"

"Tell that to Satan, here!" I yelled, trying to claw that damned lizard off my face.

Iro settled for hissing at me until Hana carried him away.

"Yeah, you run away!" I exclaimed, picking myself off the floor and wiping my mouth.

Then I noticed the strange looks I was getting from Kurama and Hazuki.

"….Um…"

My human mother decided that the best way to deal with the awkward situation was to completely ignore me and return her attention back to our visitor.

"So, Kurama-kun, you should come back after your little project and join us for dinner! I'm making—"

Instantly picking up on the danger this would involve, I grabbed his arm and led him to the door.

"He can't! He's really busy! Gotta study, being a top student and all!"

"It was nice meeting yo—" the kitsune started to say before I shoved him out of the house.

"Bye, Mom!" I called out, slamming the door behind me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't very long into our walk that I started complaining.

"Augh…Hazuki's been driving me up the canary-fucking-yellow walls lately with her new happy homemaker hobbies!"

"Really?" smiled the fox.

"Yeah, the Kuwabaras are coming over sometime soon, so she's been going Martha on everything…"

"She seemed really nice. So did the rest of your family…" Kurama put in.

I just scratched my head and agreed; a little embarrassed. It felt so weird to go from semi-heartless orphan to the son who puts the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional family.'

"I guess I'm not used to the whole 'family vibe' thing yet…"

"I used to feel the same way about my human family," laughed Kurama. "You get used to it, and then you don't even see it as a weakness. You…appreciate it."

"What? Has the great Youko Kurama turned into a mama's boy?" I grinned, knowing full and well that if it had been anyone else calling _Youko_ that, they would be killed on the spot.

He shrugged and flashed me a dangerous grin.

"Did I ever tell you how I regained control over plants from Makai, even in this form?"

"Uh, just kidding?" I sweatdropped, bringing my hands up into the shape of a heart quickly. "Hearts?"

We continued walking to nowhere in particular, as Kurama explained the reason for his early morning visit.

"Koenma wanted to thank you for your help with our last mission."

"Okay, but couldn't he send me a card or a Get Out of Jail Free pass at my normal office hours instead?"

"Unfortunately, Koenma's way of thanking people involves sending Botan out with the message and Botan's way of delivering said messages involves doing them at her favorite part of the day – the beginning."

"Oh."

"You can thank me later for telling Botan I'd deliver the message to you when she woke me up at six this morning."

"Yeek," I sympathized. That was even earlier that I was woken up. "Why'd you stay up?"

"There was also an escaped youkai that got loose in the shopping center."

"Seriously? What class?" I asked, suddenly interested. Hard to believe Kurama was already up hunting people while I was still dreaming about video games and pie.

"D-Class, but it took us three hours to capture him."

"Why? Was he a Parasite demon or something?"

Kurama shook his head.

"Let's just say that Kuwabara hasn't mastered the art of stealth, yet."

"Ah, I can see it now...How many shops fell to his acts of 'bravery?'"

"Two toy stores, a handbag shop, three cellphone stands, a noodle cart, half of GameStop, and a women's clothing store…"

"A women's clothing store?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he sweatdropped.

"C'mon, Red. It couldn't have been that bad!" I tried to cheer him up.

"The image of Kuwabara mistaking an elderly lady for the target and tackling her in the middle of the lingerie department will never leave my mind soon enough." He sighed. "And the aftermath wasn't any better…"

"Let me guess, the fire rat hasn't learned that setting security guards on fire is a very, very bad idea?"

"Something like that," smiled the kitsune.

Sensing the tone in his voice change, I couldn't help but wonder if anything else was bothering him. And since snooping is in my nature…

"What's wrong, Red? Something on your mind?" I asked.

He stared at me for a moment, before pointing to my amulet.

"I was curious…if that one's the original."

Despite it coming from a weird flower-thing, I knew that this was the same amulet that I held onto back in my days in Makai. The scent, the engraving, everything was a perfect match. Before answering, I made a mental note to ask my old partner about the park and the flower in more detail later.

"Yeah, but why do you ask all of the sudden?" I questioned him, a little confused.

The redhead responded by shifting the collar of his shirt to pull out the exact same amulet. Right about then I stopped breathing.

"It's funny…the day after our last raid, I returned to find you…" he began, shaking his head slightly. "The clan we stole the artifact from had already done away with you…and then I found this lying in the grass."

The amulet twinkled in his hand.

"I kept it as a memento of sorts," he said sadly.

I reached down subconsciously to see if the pendant I had found in the park was still there. It would be just like Youko to try to mess with my head like this. I started to grin a little and froze. My amulet was still there. Kurama wasn't pulling anything.

"As you can imagine I was surprised to see you at Kuwabara's the other day, but that didn't compare to see you wearing the same necklace that you did all those years ago."

This time I was too shocked to respond. No wonder he looked so shaken when he saw me with my amulet at Orangy's place. But, why did Kurama have my amulet? I had assumed the whole deal with the park was his doing, and that once he was done confirming that I was who I was, he'd be done with the whole act. That's why I had never gone back to the park. That's why I only mentioned it in passing. I thought it was just another little test from my thieving buddy.

"You never mentioned going back to Makai after becoming Kuroji, so I'm curious. Where did you find it?" Kurama asked.

Now I was definitely confused. This had to be another game of his. It was planned too intricately to be the work of anyone else I'd ever known.

"It was you, right? At the park with all those crazy illusions and the creepy flower stunt….that just screamed Youko." I tried to laugh.

Kurama just gave me a confused look.

_Oh, shit. He's not kidding. _

"I found my necklace at a park by my house. It was inside a red flower that gave me nightmares every time I went there."

"I had nothing to do with any of that, Kuronue. Were there any traces of other youki? Or even reiki?" questioned the fox.

My head was reeling by this point.

"No…I couldn't sense anyone else's power. But right before I would fall asleep, I could swear I felt a little burst of your youki! Even your scent was there! Who else could've…"

Ever the calm one, Kurama stood there quietly and tried to logically piece everything together. Sure, Godzilla could be duking it out with Gamera across the street from us and this guy wouldn't even twitch an eyebrow.

"Can you show me where this happened?"

I lead him towards the park in a hurry, almost not used to someone running as fast as me. I guess it _has_ been awhile…

We weaved around the joggers, dog-walkers, and lovebirds in record time. On the way, I briefly filled him in about the illusions, tornados, and other crazy stuff. We got to the clearing where the tree and flower were, and I paused a few feet away, warily. Kurama followed suit.

"And this is where it all went down. Literally." I pointed to the flower. You get near that thing and you'll be out in no time."

Kurama walked near it carefully.

"Yes, I agree. There's a trace of youki on this flower…"

"Hey, man. Watch it. That thing'll put you to sleep faster than one of Tachibana-sensei's lectures." I warned him. Not that he listened. He never does…

The former thief placed a hand over the flower and closed his eyes to concentrate. Almost immediately he jumped back in surprise.

"Told ya."

"You were right…" he said, still a little uneasily.

"Yeah, the best I did was a few hours once, and even then I—"

"No, about the youki, and the scent…" he interrupted. "…They're mine."

"Ha! So you were the one behind all the freaky head-trippy hullabalooza!"

"No, Kuronue. I haven't even set foot in this park in years."

"Huh? You planned it that far in advance?" I asked, surprised. "You're good, Red."

"That's not it either," he shook his head. He seemed to be doing that a lot today. "The last time I came here I was in pre-school on a field trip and then again with my human mother once or twice."

"Aww, I bet you were cute when you were little!" I teased.

"My point is that I was far too young to set up a complex spell like this one," he cut me off with a glare. "It is a trace of my youki and scent that we're finding, but there's no way I could have done anything like this when I wasn't even in grade school yet."

"I beg to differ." I said, crossing my arms. "If I remember correctly, you were capable of plenty of crazy shit before you were old enough to toddle back in Makai."

"Kuronue…"

"Right, right…but who could've done this then?"

"I'm not sure," Kurama mused, returning to the problem at hand. "I think I'm sensing another trace of someone's ki here as well, but it's too faint to tell for sure."

"You don't think it's a threat, do you?" I asked, only mildly concerned.

"Who can say?" he shrugged. "All I can tell you for sure is that this plant is a windflower."

"Well that explains the tornado."

"Yes, it used to be used in memory spells to soothe and alter nerves," he paused for a moment.

I looked at him, expectantly.

"I believe it has also been called an anemone."

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 13**

**: : A/N : :**

Neko: Yes! And now you all know the reason behind the title (in case you hadn't already guessed). I originally had planned to reveal the name of the flower sooner, but got delayed by other important plot devices such as ice cream and pinstripes. And fire. Always fire.

Kuro: Whatever, pyro.

Neko: Oh, that's right! Speaking of people I'd like to burn, the Kuwabaras are visiting next time!

Kuro: But we weren't talking about burning pe—wait, _what?!_ That's the next chapter?!

Neko: Look on the bright side…at least Shizuru's not so bad. 1 outta 4's pretty good, right?

Kuro: Four? I thought you killed off Orangey's dad.

Neko: I did.

Kuro: ….Crap.

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"


	14. Chapter 14

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: And now, the long awaited Dinner Guest Disaster chapter! Well…long awaited for me anyway….I cannot believe I've stuck with this story for so long….

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Kuro: Hey, you updated kinda quick for you. _(sweatdrops)_ I hope they don't get used to it. _(eyes Neko rolling about in corner)_ …What the hell are you doing?

Neko: _(snuggles Kurama plushie)_ Plotting.

Kuro: Plotting what?

Neko: More ways for you to get into battles with chameleons and carrot-tops. Gotta give the people what they want, right? _(evil grin)_

Kuro: Son of a…

Neko: _(points to plushie)_ Do you think this thing'll transform into Youko with enough youki?

Kuro: Start the damned fic already!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As annoyed as I am about the Kuwabaras coming over, I admit that I'm a little grateful to have something take my mind off the red flower in the park spelling out my impending doom. Hmm…maybe that's a bit too dramatic? Of course if Kurama of all people can't figure out what in the name of Inari is going on, maybe that's not so dramatic after all.

Over the years, I've really come to depend on my now-redheaded friend. Whenever something weird happened, the youko could always figure it out and we'd take care of it. Problem solved, no thinking on my part involved.

It was awesome.

Now here we are in the middle of the Ningenkai with a puzzle that should be relatively easy to solve. Trace the ki and be done with it. Simple.

It shouldn't involve mysterious circumstances or any hard thinking on my part. It shouldn't involve f'ing tornadoes and instant narcolepsy. And it definitely shouldn't involve Kurama scratching his head in confusion!

It was so frustrating! This sort of thing _never_ happened in Makai! In our, ahem, _lengthily_ lifetimes, neither Youko or I had seen anything like this. What's the deal with the human world, anyway?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is stupid. HE is stupid," I complained to my mom as she shoved the rest of the 'take it and bake it yourself, you lazy little person' food into the oven. (I made a mental note to remind Hana to check on it later).

"Now Kuroji, be nice," she chided. "We're having Kazuma and his family over for dinner, so at least _pretend_ you're a sweet young man."

Yeah, like that was going to work.

"Don't wanna."

"Well, you did throw kitchenware at him the other day…" grinned Hiro, interrupting my pouting.

"Orangey can't even remember what days end in 'Y!' You really think I'm worried about him remembering _that_?!"

"I still can't believe you did that," laughed Hazuki, now stirring the instant rice. "Best not to bring it up at the table though."

"Fine, but I think you're missing something there, Mom."

"What?" she asked, glancing down at her mass of sizzling rice grains.

"Water?" I sweatdropped.

"Oh," she shrugged. "I thought it was a little dry…"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that, I retreated to my room for a little break with by beloved video games. They wouldn't make me have dinner with my arch nemesis…or one of them anyway. This whole dinner thing should just be cancelled. It would be like putting Chris Redfield and Wesker in the same room and giving them infinite ammo. Smart…if you like interior decorating with bullet holes.

"Oh Capcom, you're the only one who understands me…"

The hour or so of zombie-shooting salvation was cruelly taken away from me by Hazuki who threatened to rip my 360 out of the TV and throw it curbside. Ningen torture tactics. So much more effective than youkai ones. What's a few missing teeth compared to a life without video games?

"Can I help you, Kaiser?" I asked sarcastically as I entered the kitchen.

"Help your brother set the table," my human mother responded without looking up.

I left the kitchen and entered the dining room where Hiro was clearly struggling to remember which side the plate the fork went on. This was a perfect opportunity for some brotherly bonding, i.e. tormenting him.

"Try putting them inside the glasses, genius. Then it won't matter what side they're on."

"Shut up, Kuroji," the human boy frowned. "It's not like you know where they go either."

True, but he didn't have to know this.

"I wouldn't be so sure, squirt," I grinned. "I have many more years of experience on my side."

Many, _many_ more years in fact.

"Years of experience doesn't mean years of wisdom," came his retort.

Ok, so this little punk was definitely related to me. Keeping with the time-honored tradition of mutual sibling animosity, we glared at each other, grabbed the other's shirt, balled our free hand into a fist…and were interrupted by Hana.

The resident peacemaker calmly walked into the dining room with the lizard and set him on an open chair before picking up one of the misplaced forks, and set it on the left side of dinner plate. Her stern gaze was then directed at us.

That didn't last long.

As soon as I sensed the lecture approaching us, I let go of Hiro. At that point, Hiro, whose strength was not in the area of balance, stumbled a bit and knocked over a water glass. I winced, knowing what would happen next.

As the water began slowly soaking into the white tablecloth, Hana's blood pressure rose considerably. The stern face morphed into something only seen previously when I may have made the suggestion that one of her little celebrity crushes had a thing for guys. Yeah, not a good day, and I have the scars to prove it.

"Hiiiiiiiro….." snarled the four foot terror in front of us.

"S-Sorry?" Hiro stuttered. Like me, he was probably used to hearing his sister's delicate, soft-spoken voice. The words coming out of her mouth now sounded like death.

Without another word (thankfully), the scary one formerly known as my sister grabbed Hiro and dragged him off into the forbidden land of the kitchen. Pausing for a moment, she turned back at me. I tried to ignore the way her veins were pulsing irregularly. I also tried to ignore my human brother's pleas for forgiveness.

"Take the tablecloth off and reset the table, Aniki…"

"Sure thing, Sis," I sweatdropped.

After all, I already learned all I needed about Death. You don't cheat it, you don't test it, and you sure as hell don't argue with it when it possesses the body of your little sister.

While one twin dragged the other into the adjoining room (with Iro in tow, proving his connection with the dark side I might add), I looked at the table. The water had made a pretty decent-sized puddle, but wasn't really all that deep. I picked up the fallen glass and set it right side up. Pulling everything off the table and resetting it would take forever. I didn't have forever.

I grabbed the end of the tablecloth and neatly pulled it out from beneath the plates, glasses, and correctly-set silverware. Nothing moved.

"Yeah, I'm good," I smirked, tossing the tablecloth over my shoulder.

"Kuroji, did you finish setting the table?" Hazuki called from the kitchen.

"Of course, Mother!" I yelled back. "Did you finish pulling the silverware from your son's face?"

"What do you—Hana! Put that down! Leave your poor brother alone!"

I just shook my head. How the hell these things promoted family togetherness was beyond me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things went a lot smoother after that. After Hazuki learned about the wonders of following the directions on the box, and after Hiro learned the hard way that Iro's dark aura must effect his master, and after Hana finally stopped acting like Death Eater, things went smoother.

The ladies of the household helped me finish setting the table with much food and drink (but sadly, no sake) and Hiro stopped crying. Eventually, I got bored playing House with the others and turned to Iro. The Spawn of Satan was again resting on the top of the couch, watching us with one beady red eye.

I decided that the time was right to prime him for Kuwabara. Crouching in front of him, I looked him in the eye and used the most serious tone I could manage.

"You do not know pain, you do not know fear, and you will taste Man-flesh!!"

"Aniki!" Hana exclaimed. "Stop saying things like that to Iro!"

And with that, she scooped him up and carried him off to some dark corner of the house where he belonged.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang.

"Oh, that must be them!" my human mother exclaimed excitedly.

"Great…" Hiro and I replied in unison, unable to match her enthusiasm.

"Would it kill you two to smile?" Hazuki chided us. "I'll go let them in. Remember, you're a pair of sweet young men that were raised in the best possible environment and learned everything you know by your beautiful and intelligent mother that—"

The doorbell rang again.

"Cooooming!" Hazuki called, giving us one more warning look before walking to the front door.

"Ya don't gotta tell me twice," I muttered, plopping into one of the chairs. "Ugh, I can't wait until this is over…"

"…."

"What's eating you? The Orange Beast is still outside."

My younger brother just shuddered and looked at me with a mix of fear and confusion in his eyes.

"I n-never want to s-see Hana like that again…"

How is it that Hazuki has Pizza Hut, Sushi Bars, and fast food restaurants on speed-dial, but not psychologists, hospitals, and the asylum?

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I could smell the Orange Beast coming before I actually saw her. Yes, one tends to remember the scent of rotten candy apple and cheap hooker after smelling it before in one horrifying combination. Let's just hope dear little Fifi, the demonic poodle was left at home for this encounter.

"Oh, there you children are!!" squealed Mommy Kuwabara, decked out in a shocking amount of orange and pink.

She approached the twins and I like a badly dressed grizzly bear would approach a group of innocent campers that just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. As she trapped the three of us in another spine-crushing death hug, I found myself wondering if the streaks of color all over her face were supposed to be make-up or war paint. Tough call.

"I've been looking forward to this all week! I just know we're going to have a delicious time!" she informed us before letting out one of her disturbing giggles.

This must be what Hansel and Gretel felt like.

Taking some relief in the fact that I knew exactly where our oven was located as well as every possible escape route should things turn nasty, I tried to appease both mothers with a "It's good to see you too, Mrs. Kuwabara." Hana also tried to say something polite, but was still recovering from the punctured lung the Orange Beast gave her. I briefly considered telling her that Voldemort wanted Orangey's head on a stake, but decided against it.

Not long after the rest of the Kuwabara clan trooped in. Kuwabara looked a little awkward and nervous, while Shizuru looked like she'd much rather be somewhere else, doing something else. Personally, I was amazed that smoking was the only bad habit she'd picked up after living with her mother and brother for so long.

"Now that we're all here, let's dig in before dinner gets cold!" my mother beamed.

"What a fabulous idea, Hazuki!" exclaimed Orange Beast, clapping her hands together wildly. "It looks delicious!"

I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was actually supped-up TV dinners.

"I had no idea that you would have us over just because of a silly little casserole," Orange Beast giggled. "I'll have to make you another sometime!"

Hazuki gave her a forced smile.

"We would love that, right guys?"

"Sure," I replied, leaving out that we had plenty of room in the backyard next to the first monster casserole to bury any more of its incarnates.

"Oh, we must have you four over for dinner sometime!"

We all paled at this statement.

"Um, that sounds fun!" Hana offered politely. "Would you like some noodles, Mrs. Kuwabara?"

"I'd love some!!"

Yeah, she could _use_ a noodle. That's for sure…

Kuwabara noticed me rolling my eyes and glared at me from across the table. I flashed my best evil grin and returned my attention to my plate. I had to remember to attempt to behave or Hazuki would be the next one to transform into a Dark Lord and rip off my head….which in hindsight, sounded a lot better than sitting through dinner with the carrot tops.

"Kuroji-kun…"

I snapped my attention to the person who had said my name and wasn't using it in a threatening tone. With the overwhelming presence of the rest of her family, it was easy to forget Shizuru was there as well.

"Uh, yeah?"

"I was wondering about your eyes…" she began. Your brother and sister have brown eyes, but yours are blue. Do you wear contacts?"

"Er, no." I answered. A little confused about why she was so concerned about my eye color. "They're just naturally this color."

"Oh."

"He used to get that a lot when he was younger," Hazuki laughed. "I can't remember how many teacher conferences I spent explaining that he was born with them and not trying to violate school rules."

"But they're so pretty!" Orange Beast gushed. "They're the color of the ocean! How lovely!"

"Thank…you?" I replied, a little grossed out at the way the woman was now looking at me. It was almost enough for me to put off the question (and dinner), when I remembered part of the conversation I overheard Kuwabara having on the phone once.

"_Even Sis didn't think he was totally human!" _

This meant one of two things. A: Shizuru was generally interested in unnatural eye color, or B: She suspected me of being a demon. Neither of which was exactly conversation for the dinner table.

I tried thinking back to the huge Where I've Been For The Last Eighteen Years talk Kurama and I had at IHOP, but couldn't really remember him mention Kuwabara's sister much. We had filled in most of the gaps about what we'd been up to in the Ningenkai, but didn't cover the nitty-gritty oh, so bitty details on every single person we'd met. And from what I understood, Kurama had only known Kuwabara and his family for a little over two years.

None of this helped my current situation, of course.

Another quick glance at Shizuru, and I felt a little less paranoid. After getting my answer, she had just returned to her meal like nothing had ever happened. If she was concerned about me being a little more than human, she wasn't showing it.

"Oh, this is delightful!" Orange Beast said cheerfully. "I haven't been able to sit down for dinner among friends in ages!"

This led me to wonder about the friends she kept, but I was mentally interrupted by Hazuki again.

"We're very glad to have you," she said sweetly. "I was worried that we wouldn't fit in so well in Tokyo. It certainly is a relief to know there such kind and welcoming families here."

_On one hand, her orange ape of a son is friends with cool people like Youko, that other detective, and Botan, but on the other he's also an idiot. Then there's the fact that he hangs out with the tree-rat and, wait, did Mom just call them_ kind?!

"That's so nice of you to say!" squealed Orange Beast, clearly enjoying the attention. "You people from Kyoto are so sweet!"

_Kind? Kind?! Kind is bringing over edible food, not casserole laced with rat poison! Kind is offering the occasional 'Howdy, Neighbor,' not molesting their youngest child on some witch hunt to find youkai! Kind is inviting the handsome eldest son over for tea made with tea leaves, not rattlesnake venom! Kind is—_

"Oh, please don't think anything of it!" my human mother laughed. "You were the first family to show us such hospitality; we're just returning the favor."

This whole BS-fest was starting to make me more sick than Hazuki's cooking ever could. Was I really expected to sit here for another hour or so listening to this crap? I'd rather listen to another one of Badger's boring business talks than this…

"So tell me a little about your high school in Kyoto, Kuroji-kun!" squealed the Orange Beast.

"I'm sorry, what?" I blinked, suddenly pulled out of my thoughts. Orangey didn't seem to notice.

"You must have had to leave a bunch of friends behind…"

"Yeah, a couple," I replied. _'Just none worth mentioning.'_

"I bet you had a girlfriend or two that was very upset you left!" she giggled excessively.

"Not, really," I said with my 'modest' smile. Mom likes that one, says it makes me look mature. Hiro says it makes me look like a liar. Fitting, since every time I'm required to look _mature_, I'm usually _lying_.

"Really?" she looked surprised. "A strapping young buck like you?"

"Too busy studying for that Meiou entrance exam, I guess." I laughed. Partially because I'd never studied longer than ten minutes in my entire life, but mostly because I had never heard myself described as a 'strapping young buck' before. And what was the sudden interest in my social life, anyway?

"Is that so?" said the Orange Beast with a creepy gleam in her eye. She seemed very pleased, this worried me. "And you passed it, didn't you?"

My worry increased twentyfold.

"He was in the top 10% of the applicants," Hazuki said proudly. I just know she held back a 'We were surprised. I had figured he got his brains from his dad's side.'

The Orange Beast eagerly eyed Kuwabara, then me, then Kuwabara again. A twisted smile formed on her magenta-painted lips. I started praying that she wasn't planning on feeding me to her young.

"I've been looking into getting a tutor for my little Kazu-chan here for awhile…" she started. "He just doesn't do so well in the academics area…"

"Mom!" he interrupted.

Yes, yes, protest away, I thought. I can already see where this is going and I don't want to be there when it arrives.

"How good are you at Math, Kuroji-kun?"

"I'm really much better at English and linguistics…"

"He's already completed all of the required Math courses at his school," Hazuki interjected.

"Thanks a lot, Mom," I said sourly.

Once again, Orange Beast took no notice of this.

"How wonderful!" she squealed. Again, with the squealing! What is it with this woman and squealing?! "Do your classes take up a lot of your free time?"

"Loads of it."

"Kuroji always naps when he gets home and plays too many video games," Hazuki said with a laugh. "I've been trying to find ways for him to fill his time with more academic pursuits."

Fine, see if I ever lend you _Animal Crossing_ again.

There was more excited clapping and squealing from the Kuwabara side of the table, none of it coming from Shizuru or her brother.

"Have you ever considered tutoring people before, Kuroji-kun?" Orange Beast asked with sparkles in her eyes.

"Not really," I said as apologetically as I could. "I'm not a very good teacher…"

"What a great opportunity for you Kuroji!" interjected my very evil mother. Only the well-trained eyes of me and my siblings caught the glare in it. When I was younger, I was convinced she used it to bend the wills of others.

Now I'm sure of it.

I looked back at my plate to avoid eye contact. There was no way I was going to be that gorilla's tutor in anything, much less anything relating to school.

"Kuroji would love to tutor your son!" Hazuki smiled. Again, all three of her children picked up on the glare and the unspoken promise of pain if we argued.

"Hurray!" shouted Orange Beast, happily throwing her hands up into the air and giving her thoroughly embarrassed son a huge hug. "I finally found my baby a _real_ tutor!"

"Hiro, will you pass me that bowl, please?" I asked my younger brother.

"Why?" he asked in confusion. "You hate natto…and Hana's closer to it anyway."

"Yes, but you're closer to the knives than she is…"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

From that disaster of a dinner topic, things got more and more boring. Maybe it was because I was still trying to find a way to get out of tutoring the orange ape in my least favorite subject. Or maybe it was because the Orange Beast spent ten full minutes rambling on about the freaking weather.

It was during this speech that Hana started passing plates around to keep herself occupied.

"Would you like seconds, Kuwabara-san?" she asked the resident idiot.

"Thanks, Hana-chan!" he answered in appreciation. "You know, you're much nicer than your two brothers, so you can just call me 'Kazuma-kun' okay?"

Dammit. I knew this would happen. Hana's eyes immediately widened, and then welled up with tears.

"U-Um, I'm sorry. Please excuse me!" she squeaked before running off towards the kitchen.

"Way to go, idiot," Shizuru said with a frown.

"Something I said?" asked Kuwabara in a worried tone.

"No, no, not at all. Hana's just a little sensitive," Hazuki said, waving her hand dismissively. "My late husband's name was Kazuma and he was very close to his children."

"I'm really sorry, Mrs. Akatsuki! I didn't mean to—"

"Don't worry about it," my mother smiled. "You didn't know, and Hana will be fine in a bit. I doubt she'll be mad at you either."

Kuwabara tried to say something else, but Shizuru must have elbowed him under the table. After another minute went by, Hazuki stood up.

"I'll go check on her and be back in a minute. Excuse me."

Orange Beast looked at Hiro and I with misplaced sympathy after Hazuki had left.

"Poor dear, it must be hard for you children."

Hiro, unaccustomed to pity of any kind, fielded this one.

"Nah, Dad died a long time ago," he said absently, and with another shrug went right on eating.

There was an awkward silence after this. Then it dawned on me.

_Oh, shit….I'm supposed to be saying stuff, aren't I?!_

"So…How 'bout them Giants?" I tried.

Way to lift the mood. Very suave.

Luckily Hana and Hazuki were only gone a short time, and rejoined the dinner table after a few minutes. I noticed that Hana's eyes were still a little red and puffy. This caused me to make a mental note to knock out one of Kuwabara's teeth for every tear I saw in the future.

Apparently, the whole sad vibe was messing with the fantasy world of rainbows and puppies that Orange Beast lived in and she urged her son to go grab the pan they had brought with them.

Turns out they had made a special dessert for the occasion. Could this night get any worse? Maybe Iro could pop out of the shadows and slit my throat with that toothpick katana of his? Where was that damned lizard anyway? I hadn't seen him in awhile…

"This is a secret recipe passed down from generation to generation in the Kuwabara family!" Orange Beast explained with great excitement.

We all winced.

"Here it is!" Kuwabara said as he set it balanced it on one arm dramatically. "I present to you now… The Kuwabara Gelatin Surprise!"

Well, it was surprising all right. As soon as the carrot-topped cretin lifted the tray off it, his mother started screaming at the sight. There looking half-drunk and half-dead in the middle of the orange mass of jello and god knows what else was the Spawn of Satan.

"Iro!!" gasped Hana.

"Mom!" shouted Shizuru, catching her as she fainted on the spot.

"Shit." Hazuki cursed under her breath.

'_So that's where you went_…' I thought with a smirk.

As soon as he realized he had been freed from his dark, gooey prison, Iro looked up at Kuwabara and instantly blamed him for the food poisoning. The lizard tailwhipped the carrot-top, who dropped the platter and clutched his face in shock. I could feel Hazuki fight the urge to run to her now-stained carpet in vain.

Hana picked up her minion from his sputtering fit on the floor and apologized to Kuwabara profusely, claiming Iro was scared.

Yeah, right. She says scared. I say out for blood. Still, it was a nice change not being the target of the Hellspawn for once.

"Heh, it's really alright, Hana-chan! He just surprised me" grinned Kuwabaka in his attempt to save face. "No problemo!"

Forget food poisoning. Iro should attack him just for saying "no problemo" in this household.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Much to Hazuki's dislike, dinner ended shortly thereafter. Once the Orange Beast had awoken from her little fainting spell, she decided that they should be on their way. 'Too tired out from all the excitement' had been her words.

My human mother tried to apologize about dessert again, but Orangey had said not to worry about it, and that we should all come over and have dinner with them sometime. No thanks.

After the Orange Beast had been carried off by her children and the dining room carpet had been salvaged, we found ourselves washing dishes.

"Hmm…I think that went pretty well overall," Hazuki mused over scrubbing a dirty plate.

Hiro snickered from his task of wiping the table.

"Yeah, except for dessert."

"I wondered what they had prepared…" Hana thought out loud, handing me a dry plate.

"Does it really matter?" I said, setting the plate on the shelf. "The important thing is that we _didn't_ have to find out."

"Yeah, it would have been Casserole part II," the squirt agreed, shuddering.

"Let's just hope it doesn't become a trilogy. Remember _Spiderman 3_?" I asked.

"Or _X-Men 3_…" added Hiro.

"There will be no insulting Hugh Jackman in my household, you two!" objected Hazuki sternly. "Besides, _Origins_ made up for it."

"Whatever you say, Mom…"

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 14**

**::A/N::**

Neko: And thus ends the dramatic dinner guest disaster arc!

Kuro: The hell? You can't write one chapter and call it an "arc!" That's too short.

Neko: Oh? You're saying you want the Kuwabaras over again?

Kuro: Call it an "arc" call it "crack" call it whatever as long as Orangey and his mom stay faaaaar away from me!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**Inari **(Jap.) Japanese deity of rice, property, and prosperity. Often depicted as a fox.

**Chris Redfield and Wesker** (Jap.) The main protagonist and villain in the Resident Evil series.

**Kaiser** (Ger.) "Emperor" the female equivalent (Empress) is "Kaiserin" but I figured that killed the joke.

**Natto** (Jap.) "Fermented soybeans"


	15. Chapter 15

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats. In this chapter there's also some minor spoilers for some Shakespearian plays, but you'll be able to tell when if you want to skip them.

Neko: Mwa, ha, ha…I've been waiting to get to this part of the plot forever…

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Kuro: Two months, maybe. Two years, more likely. But how in the hell did you manage to write most of the entire chapter in two days?!

Neko: _(holds up Youko plushie)_

Kuro: Whatever. Just start the fic, Cat.

Neko: _(snuggles both Kurama plushies)_

Kuro: If you don't start the fic, I'll _**take them away**_…

Neko: _(glares at him, eyes glow evilly)_

Kuro: Or…not.

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Another day, another threat to kill the colorblind idiot that designed Meiou's uniforms. I mean, seriously, what says manly like freshly laundered fuchsia finery? There must have been a sale at the furniture store. I swear this thing makes me feel like I'm wearing my grandmother's tablecloth!

"Kuroji!" I could hear my mother calling from downstairs. "Hurry up or you'll be late!"

"Yes, wouldn't that be a tragedy…" I muttered, bending over to grab my bag.

I shuffled down the stairs a little more sleepily today. It was a rough night. I kept dreaming that Hazuki had willingly offered me to the Orange Beast to tutor her hygienically-challenged son. Oh wait…_That actually happened_.

The grumbling started shortly thereafter.

"Honey, if you're going to start talking to yourself, do it a little more quietly," my human mother sighed. "People'll think your nuts."

"I guess the apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree…" I retorted.

Seconds later, I regretted the remark as my cheeks registered immense pain coming from my mother pinching them.

"What was that?" she asked with a forced smile.

"Any chance I can retract that last comment, crazywoman?" I struggled to say. "I don't think it does you enough justice."

Hazuki finally let go of my face after that…but only because there were more bones to break in my arm.

"Ow, ow, owww!" I complained, not even having to act like I was in pain. "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry I called you crazy! I meant freakishly strong for someone who spends all day in a clothing store!"

As the lunatic wrenched my arm further behind my back, Hana looked up from her cereal, completely used to this routine.

"Mother, isn't Aniki going to be late to school?" she asked with just enough curiosity and just enough innocence.

"Oh, yeah…" Hazuki said absentmindedly, finally letting go of my mangled arm.

I blew on my hand and shook it out before grabbing my fallen bag.

"If you don't take it easy on me, one day you're actually going to break me, Mom!"

"Are you telling me that you're getting rusty?"

"Gotta go! Bye Mom! Bye Hana!"

I was out the door before I even finished my farewells. Training with Hazuki is like training for an upcoming war, not a potential attack in a dark alley. She'll make a man out of you, but only because it involves crying until you have no tears left.

I turned up my iPod on the way to the bus stop and don't remember anything between then and Kurama waking me up at school. Apparently it was almost time for Homeroom to start and he was very concerned about the desk getting covered in bat drool. Jerk.

'_I'll remember that when I catch you taking a nap later, little kitsune_.' I thought evilly_. 'You're just lucky you don't have any fluffy tails for me to pull anymore…_'

I was pulled out of my thoughts this time by a few guys behind me talking about Fish-face. Curious if they were mentioning things like a secret weakness for worms or fishing line, I paid a little more attention.

"Man, I don't know why they're even having this thing, Kaito'll win easy," sighed a bored blonde.

"Yeah, as soon as he said he was running for president, it was a sure bet," agreed his friend.

"Great," grimaced the third boy. "I betcha he'll start sleeping with his student council president badge now…"

"Kaito for president," they all said in unison, clearly unhappy with the idea. "Woo…"

I turned around in my seat in shock.

"No way! Him?" I asked in disbelief. "How?"

"Uh, hello? Have you seen our current student council president, Akatsuki?" laughed the boy with bleached hair. "Nobody ever wants to run for that 'cause you have to be in good standing with the teachers."

"Yeah, and with his brains, Kaito can easily win," agreed the other.

"Kura-_Shuiichi's_ way smarter than that twit," I argued, almost forgetting to use Kurama's human name.

"Kuroji…" the redhead said in a warning tone, looking up from his book.

"What? It's true, ain't it?" I grinned.

"Yeah, but Minamino never wants to run for president…" sighed the class rep, now joining in on our conversation. "…Even though it would be great for our homeroom class…"

"Hell, if that's the big draw for running, I don't blame him," I said with a sudden change of heart.

"Hey, watch it!" defended the class rep. "Classrooms with student council members always get to hear about events in advance, have more input in things, gain more respect among…"

He rattled on and on, until I just had to shut him up.

"It still sounds boring."

"How can you say that?!" exclaimed the rep, getting more than a little frustrated with me. "Don't you know that the only students capable of having a say in the school rules are the president and his council?!"

"Like…changing the uniforms?" I asked with a hopeful grin.

"Yeah, I suppose," the class rep answered after some thought.

That was all I needed to hear. I kicked out from my chair and stood on my desk, ignoring the confused look the Hairwoman was giving me as she walked through the door.

"As of this moment, I'm running for Student Council President!" I proclaimed to my homeroom class.

"Good for you, Kuroji," Kurama replied absently, continuing to read his book.

The rest of the class looked at me in shock for a few seconds, then burst into wild applause. Only natural that they'd cheer on the redeemer of the uniforms, I suppose. I _knew_ I wasn't the only one that felt like we were wearing granny-issued tablecloths.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" the class rep flailed his arms wildly, trying to regain order. "What makes you think a transfer student can run for president and win? Kaito will have all the teachers backing him!"

But I had already though of that. I gestured to the former youko beside me.

"That's exactly why Kurama's gonna be my VP!!"

"I'm _what?_" the kitsune asked, looking up from his book with a mix of horror and confusion on his face.

The class cheered louder.

"Aw, c'mon 'Rama!" I smiled. "How can you say no to such loyal fans?"

"Fine…I'll run with you…" he finally agreed, defeated.

I had no idea that ningen could get so loud.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Needless to say, this really put a good start to my day. Tachibana was all for my campaign and even offered to be my advisor right off the bat (apparently you need a teacher to do that). The announcements that the Hairwoman was going to go over this morning were tossed over her shoulder in favor of brainstorming possible slogans, posters, and other presidential advertisements that Kurama and I should use.

By the time we were dismissed for second period, students were already whispering about it in the hallways. The girls were excited about seeing some eyecandy in office. The guys were excited about throwing out their current uniform for something less pink and demeaning. I noticed one group of underclassmen point at us with glee, so I waved and flashed a grin that has caused weaker-kneed fans to faint on the spot.

This was going to be so easy.

"Don't get too carried away, Kuronue," Kurama said beside me. "I don't think Kaito will go down without a fight."

"Just think about it, my friend," I said, patting him on the back. "With our combined good looks, my maniacal ideas, and your brains, we're unbeatable! Just like old times!"

I caught a small smile form on his lips, before turning down the corridor to stop at his locker.

"Just be careful," he warned, walking away.

It was clear why he gave me the warning by the time I got to English. I had beaten my rival there by a few minutes, so I got to witness his arrival. As I watched each new emotion twist itself onto his oily face, I would have almost sold my entire video game collection to be able to read minds. Almost.

First there was disbelief. _'No way you could have actually agreed to run against me in the election'_ I imagined he thought. _'Even Minamino refused the offer, so there's no way you could have taken it up and managed to recruit him.'_

Then came the shock as he saw everyone around me furiously asking me question after question about my candidacy. The smiles on their faces and the evil smirk on mine quickly cleared up any disbelief he originally had about the rumors. At that point he must have been racking his brain for any reason I could have possibly had to run against him and get Kurama on my side, of all people.

After the short-lived shock, anger came and stayed glued to his face. By now I didn't have to be a telepath to practically hear him screaming at me from his desk across the room.

'_How could you do this, you pretentious bastard?! You're arrogance will cost you this time! I refuse to lose to the likes of you! I smell like old cheese!_'

The corners of my mouth twitched into a crooked smile. On second thought, it was much more fun imagining what he wanted to scream at me.

AP English couldn't have gone better. In honor of the upcoming election, Yamada-sensei did a mini-lesson on commonly used vocabulary in presidential races. The class ended with a mock debate done between the Fish-boy and myself completely in English. I kicked ass and he pronounced "compassion" wrong.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Environmental Biology basically ended up as a shameless plug for me to gain more fans, as both me and my running mate were present. But I didn't stop there. I might have doubled our amount of fans, but I also learned from Yugasa-sensei about how not all the teachers were happy with the way things currently were. Budgeting was a big factor in upsetting a good 70% of the staff, while others had complaints about paperwork, the grading system, and even parking. Yugasa-sensei herself had a beef with the policy against bringing in certain animals that the school felt were "too dangerous" for the classroom.

I promised to address some of the concerns of the teachers, and she promised to relay this to other faculty in the break room. Kurama even congratulated me on this feat at the end of class.

So well my day was going, that I barely even noticed how long Badger was dragging out Business Ed. Luckily, he pays about as much attention to the students in the hall as he does to the ones in his class, so he hadn't heard about how I was running for student pres. If he had, I'm sure there would have been no end to his lecture on corrupt governments.

Lunch was held in the usual spot under the oak tree (i.e. hidden from fangirls and fishboys). The lunchladies had been especially gracious with their servings today upon finding out about my part in the election. Even though they couldn't vote, they all told me that they were cheering for me and to do my best. Hey, with food like this? No prob.

"You should have seen his face today in English, man!" I laughed, retelling the story to Kurama. "He was like a blowfish by the end of class!"

I puffed out my cheeks in imitation, but couldn't keep it up and burst into laughter once more. When I finally recovered, I noticed something in my future VP's bento (because some mothers love their sons enough to make them lunch that doesn't involve food poisoning).

"Are those creampuffs?" I asked, eyes sparkling.

"Sure are," he responded, smirk in place. Darn fox knows all about my weakness for sweets.

I dropped whatever it was that was on my tray and aimed my chopsticks for a new target. I could practically taste their creamy deliciousness. Of course before I could snatch one of the pastries from Kurama, my chopsticks burst into flames. Again.

Yeah, I should have seen it coming, but it was still really annoying. I nursed the singe marks on my fingers and then sent a glare up the tree.

"If you have a problem with dessert food, then come down here and say it, tree-rat!" I shouted.

In a flash, I could feel the little monster's ki behind me.

"I don't have a problem with human food," he scowled. "I have a problem with you."

Him and every other small creature on this planet.

"What the hell did I ever do to you?" I asked him angrily. This whole hatred thing he had towards me was getting ridiculous. Kurama had already explained to the other Tantei that I was his old partner from Makai. All suspicion of me having hidden human-eating agendas should have been cleared up with that.

"Hn," he snorted. "Where to begin…?"

This didn't do much to improve my now angry mood. I tried to remember whatever Kurama had mentioned about him over our meeting at IHOP. Compared to the other two Tantei, the redhead had been especially vague on this guy, I now realized. At the time, I was far more concerned with my pancake feast to notice, but tried to pull any stray comments I could remember anyone saying about the Frog-Muffin.

"…_.Fire demon…Jagan master…"_

"…_super-fast, vroom! Tee hee hee!" _

"…_Obnoxious little toad obsessed with pointy things and threatening innocent koumori with huge sex appeal…" _

Oh, wait. That last one was me.

But from what I could remember from the fox and the ferrygirl's comments, Shrimp bait was potentially dangerous and Botan was potentially addicted to triple espresso.

No sooner did I finish my thought process, did I notice the smallest flicker of flame around Tiny's clenched fist. He wouldn't really start the war on school grounds would he?

My tray started to melt under the pressure of having three high level demons around it.

Apparently he would. Wonderful.

"Hiei, this isn't the place for that…" the redhead said calmly. "Someone could get hurt."

"Someone…like _him!_" sneered the fire demon, retracting his heat wave of an aura and drawing his sword.

_Son of a…_

I summoned my sythes to my hands. If that's how the pyro wanted to play, then I was all for it. Somebody really should have put him in his place a long time ago anyway. Leaping to my feet, I took a defensive stance and stared down my miniature opponent.

Tree-rat started things off by shooting a fucking fireball at my head. Shocker.

"That the best you got?!" I laughed, easily deflecting with a spin of my sythes.

He countered by rushing me, katana extended.

"Still talking?" He asked coldly. "I can fix that."

As he unleashed attack after attack with his blade, I thanked the stars I had a good connection with the Wind element. Reading his speedy movements was nearly impossible, but reading the wind currents surrounding him wasn't all that difficult.

And by 'Wasn't all that difficult,' I mean 'one mistake and this prick would probably make me lose and arm.

I was able to dodge or parry my way out of all his attacks, but his speed made it just as hard to land an attack on him. The tree-rat had thrown in a few more fireballs when there was enough distance between us, but all that had succeeded in doing was starting the field on fire in small sections. His initial plan of 'Distract with a fire spell, then cut in half' wasn't going so well for him, so he decided to try something new.

The pointy-haired brat landed atop the tree once more and sheathed his sword.

"Giving up already?" I smirked.

"Hn," he sneered back. "Hardly."

I could have sworn the ground wavered for a moment before I noticed something under his bandana glowing. I figured a safe assumption was that the glowy thing was either his Jagan eye or a mutant glow worm and that I was in a fair amount of trouble now.

Not that I'd let that stop me.

I started surrounding myself with wind to give me a little speed boost, then felt something rip me right off the ground and hold me a good ten feet above where I was standing seconds ago.

For a second I panicked, and looked around to see what the hell the shrimp was doing. I blinked in disbelief as I saw that he was being similarly restrained a few yards away from me. Right about then it dawned on me that we were being held prisoner by vines extending from the oak tree…and directly below them was a not-so-happy-looking kitsune.

"K-Kurama!" the fire demon shouted angrily, struggling against the vines. "What are you doing?!"

Oh, god was that the wrong thing to say. I knew better, so why didn't the little idiot?

The redhead's now golden eyes narrowed a bit, and I felt the vines tighten for an instant before releasing us.

The two of us landed a little unsteadily, but failed to notice in light of the angry youko in front of us. You could feel the pressure of his youki building up in everything—the air, the grass, the tree we were under, heck I was worried that even those stupid dandelion fluffs floating in the air could potentially kill us.

We wisely shut the hell up and let the fox speak.

"I told you not to start a fight here," he said in that weird tone of extreme fear-inducing I-told-you-so that he gets sometimes.

Instantly, his aura of impending doom disappeared and the tree-rat stumbled a bit in surprise. It was nice to see my friend's eyes go back to jade, though.

"Do not let it happen again," he said simply, then turned and began walking back to the school.

After blinking in confusion for a minute, I started after him, trying to ignore that feeling of kid that just got into major trouble with his parents.

"Kurama, wait!" I hollered, leaving the Frog-muffin to stand there like a moron and go back to doing whatever it is he does when he's not stalking me (probably kicking puppies or arson).

Taking the fight with shrimp-bait, damage to the school grounds, and pissing off my best friend into consideration, I can easily say that the worst part of lunch was not getting to eat any of it. Come seventh period, I knew I'd be starving!

Okay, okay, pissing off my best friend was up there on the Things Kuronue

Royally Fucked Up List, but I could still silently mourn the loss of my lunch and the empty void starting to fill my stomach.

"Look, I'm sorry, man," I tried to apologize, now really wishing that I had my wings back in case he went bipolar again and summoned something to eat my face off.

"It's…fine, Kuronue," he sighed, and then graced me with a smile. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset either."

Damned disalarming human form of his…but I could see why he got mad. I guess dealing with me and the tree-rat isn't easy, especially when you're friends with both of them. Especially when both want to kill each other. Especially at lunch. Especially when that's the only break from humans you get in the eight hours you suffer through school each day.

Of course no one suffers like I do in this uniform.

"No, no," I argued, patting him on the shoulder. "It was my fault that the tree-rat is clearly jealous of me. Nobody should be able to get away with looking as good in fuchsia as I do, and that makes him feel insecure."

"I'm sure that must be it," the fox agreed sarcastically.

"Hey, think about it," I explained defensively. "If he sees how good I look in this ungodly color, imagine how inadequate he feels when he realizes I'll look that much better in black…_his_ trademark color."

That scored a laugh.

"At least you understand now."

"Right," he grinned. "Next time I speak with Hiei, I'll be sure to relay your hypothesis to him."

"Um, you really don't have to…" I said, now sensing that this would be a bad situation. "I wouldn't want to crush his self-esteem any more than I already have."

The kitsune just laughed. I tried to join in with less success.

"…So you're not really gonna tell him, right?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Novel study saw World War III part two.

It's always a bad thing when the Hairwoman assigns us books to read, because her discussions always get very long and drawn out, landing us a bunch of chapters to read as homework. But when they're books she actually _likes_….well, you get the idea.

"Macbeth is by far the greatest tragedy ever to have been written in the 16th Century!" she proclaimed. The question of how a _tragedy_ can be '_great'_ remains unanswered.

"The characters! The poetry! The history and drama! The _poetry!_"

Wish I could get that excited about poetry.

"I would say that another theme of this story is _betrayal_, wouldn't you agree, Tachibana-sensei?" Fishman asked, eyes squinting at me even though his question was posed at our teacher.

"Well…yes," Ms. Frizzle consented. "I would agree that betrayal is largely an underlying theme of Macbeth, as demonstrated by Duncan, Macbeth, and Macduff."

I tapped my pencil against my textbook in boredom. This lecture was a complete waste of my time. I already knew all about ordinary citizens, royal advisors, or family members overthrowing kings and starting coups. It usually happens twice in every RPG I've played. Could even happen three times depending on what kind of mood Square-Enix is in.

"Yes, and you can also see betrayal of a king evident in other works of Shakespeare, such as Antony and Cleopatra, Hamlet, and King Lear." Fishy went on. The rest of us continued not caring.

"Those are excellent examples, Kaito," nodded the Hairwoman, approvingly. "It's always nice to see children your age understanding the importance of reading Shakespeare. Very enlightening!"

Fantastic. My teacher thinks we're 'children,' my rival for office thinks he can get votes by 'enlightening' us with plays some guy wrote when I was off stealing much cooler things, and my watch had to of stopped working when I walked through the door, because I could have sworn it's been 12:47 for the last twenty minutes.

"Yes…" the smelly fish began, taking his 'enlightenment' in a new direction (mine, unfortunately). "It wasn't that uncommon to see betrayal in high political standings in Shakespearean times, just as it isn't that uncommon in our modern days."

The light bulb went on in my head, three statements too late from preventing me from wanting Kaito dead.

"Kings, Emperors, Diplomats, Presidents…they aren't all that different," the fish went on. "They all have others vying for their power."

Ripping his ugly head off would be too easy.

"And in several of these cases, the number two man is much better suited for the job than their superior. One wonders how they didn't end up with the role themselves."

Kicking him in the gut would be too obvious.

"It would eat away at the second in command…Why were they always ranked second? What makes their leader so great when they were far less capable? When would it be the runner-up's turn to take control and run what should rightfully be theirs in the first place?" Fugly droned on.

And shoving him out the window into the jaws of a hungry S-class wouldn't be painful enough.

"Betrayal is a part of human nature. No one can avoid it and no one can stop it once it starts its course."

It was obvious he was just trying to piss me off and make me look bad in front of the class. I was just going to have to destroy his ego…again.

It helps that this is one topic I felt particularly strong about.

"Fool…" I chuckled, bringing everyone's attention to me, front and center. "Did you really think you could make me fall for that crap you call strategy?"

"W-What?" Kaito asked, a little off-guard, not quite expecting the reaction he was getting out of me.

That's right, fish-man. I can be calm and level-headed when the situation calls for it. And in this case, it's screaming at me.

"Kurama…would never betray me."

It was such a simple statement, but had the whole classroom hanging off of my every word.

"Thought you could reference some famous leaders getting betrayed and play it off as me getting betrayed by Kurama?" I asked with a dash of malice. "Think again."

The rest of the class exchanged looks between Kaito and I, putting two and two together, most of them getting four.

"I suggest you stop yammering about things you know nothing about, Candidate #2," I glared. "That might make you sound more like a politician, but it doesn't make you sound anything like a leader."

Kaito choked on his words, Tachibana choked on a laugh.

"I can't even begin to comprehend what makes you such a dysfunctional lump of a loser, Kaito, but I can say this with complete honesty…Kurama is my oldest and most trusted friend. I would do anything for him…"

And now that everyone was on the edge of their poorly-designed plastic seats…

"If I knew that it would save him, I would even give up my _life_. That's what real friendship is…but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that, no matter how high your IQ is."

And with that, I spun on my heel and strode out the door, proudly. My classmates looked at me in awe while Fish-face just looked at me in surprised anger. Sucker didn't think I had it in me. I shut the door behind me, and started off towards the student lobby to kill some time before Karate.

On an Epic Scale of 1 through 10, I'd have to give myself a 12.5.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You really did that?"

"Of course I did!" I laughed, prideful smirk in place. "I told ya I'd win this thing."

"That's incredible…You won over your English class by moving them emotionally, then walking out of class twenty minutes early, and you were _still_ late to 6th period…"

"I think you're missing the point, Kurama," I sweatdropped. "And I already told you I was sleeping and didn't hear the bell."

"Of course."

See, this is another good reason why Kurama would never betray me—he has way too much fun teasing me. When I won presidency, it would give him a world of opportunity, regardless of his position.

"That reminds me, I have something for you, Kuronue," the redhead said, reaching into his bag.

"If it's another stalker, you can keep them," I frowned. "Fishman and the Rabid Ones are bad enough," I gestured to the shadows where I just knew at least three evil fangirls were lurking.

"Here," he replied, handing me a small stack of DVDs. "Botan had been meaning to give them to you, but never got a chance."

"What are they?" I asked; looking through the labels 'Yusuke's First Mission' 'Rescuing Yukina' 'Embarrassing Baby Pictures of Koenma'….not that you'd be able to tell those apart from recent pics.

"Records of various Tantei missions, starting with Yusuke's first mission as a Spirit Detective and ending with the Dark Tournament," my friend answered, then seemed thoughtful for a moment. "And don't destroy them."

"Destroy them? Why would I—?"

"If you do, Koenma will be mad." Kurama warned me. "He just learned how to make DVD copies from VHS data and—"

"I'm not gonna destroy them!" I yelled. "Geez, what do I look like, a lunatic? It's not like I'm the Tree-rat with his chopstick-incinerating habits!"

The fox just smiled and waved my outburst off.

"In that case, enjoy. You'll gain a better understanding of everyone after watching them."

"Will I get to see why Tree-rat's always so cranky?"

"Not quite."

"How about why Kuwabara sounds so brain-damaged?"

"The video doesn't go back that far, but we assume one too many beatings from Yusuke."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of action movies, but is that all it's going to be?"

"There should be enough character development to get you through."

"Any interesting romantic sub-plots that I should be aware of?" I asked with a wink.

"Yusuke and Keiko?"

"I want my money back."

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 15**

**::A/N::**

Neko: And thus ends the dramatic dinner guest disaster arc!

Kuro: Whoopdi-freaking-do.

Neko: Oh, and I apologize for the choppiness at the end of the chapter. I had originally written a bit more, but had to cut it to fit space constraints.

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.


	16. Chapter 16

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language (especially Kuro's brief rant in the beginning), and flirty bats.

Neko: Here thar be filler. Also, anyone who can figure out the "cow" reference is a genius. Sorry for the long wait on the update!

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: _(looking through questions)_ Why didn't Kurama mention Kuwabara and Yukina as a couple? Because at this point Yuki's still oblivious/doesn't understand Kuwabara's feelings. That'll be addressed later in the story. Why did Kuro call Kurama by his demon name and people still understood who he meant?

Kuro: Because the author is inconsistent?

Neko: Quiet, you. I think I had Kuro slip up and call him "Kurama" a few chapters ago, causing Kurama's crazy fangirls to use the "nickname" his best friend gave him as a way for them to sound closer to Kurama. It caught on from there.

Neko: Also, before anyone gets confused about the DVDs, they are NOT the same as the YYH anime series. For the sake of not storing secret info (ex: 90% of Hi-chan's life) on some public access library rental, assume that what Kuro watched was most of the anime series minus a few plot twists that should be easy to pick up on.

Happy (much) belated Birthday** Black-Empress!**

* * *

The weekend was finally here, which would normally put me in a good mood any other time except this one.

On Friday, Kurama had given me a bunch of recent Tantei mission tapes (plus a horrifying bonus disk chronicling the first years of Koenma's life that someone had to have snuck in there on purpose), so naturally I spent the rest of my night ignoring my homework and watching them.

For the most part, they were okay. The fights were pretty good and the humor kept me entertained. I even learned a little more about everyone. And then we got to the Dark Tournament. More specifically: the Dark Tournament finals.

A problem that not even _pancakes_ could fix, and I don't say that very often.

So here I was, back in normal time, walking, no, _stomping_ off to some temple where I was supposed to meet up with Kurama and return the DVD collection. Normally, I'd be happy to be visiting the fox and meeting more of the people I saw on my TV, but not today.

Today I just felt like beating the crap out of any blackbird that crossed my path.

* * *

"Hello, Kuronue," my redheaded friend greeted me at the top of the never-ending staircase. "I see you found the shrine okay."

"Yo," Yusuke added, looking up from his DS battle with Kuwabara. Apparently he didn't even have to bother to watch the screen to beat Carrot-top.

The Spawn of Satan grunted, completely focused on his virtual fight. Tree-rat was nowhere to be seen. Which probably was for the best, anyway.

I grumbled something in return, setting my backpack with the DVDs down.

"So what did you think?" inquired Kurama.

No use beating around the bush.

"What the fuck was up with that fucking tournament?! It was so fucking stupid! Now I just want to fucking revive that sonnuva bich you fought in the finals and kick his fucking head in!!" I ranted. "Dammit!!"

"That's an interesting response," chuckled the kitsune.

The one formally known as Yun-Yun just stared at me for a few moments.

"So this is how fangirls are born…"

I just gave him a glare and went back to systematically plotting the death of every ugly, explosive-obsessed crow in existence. Only Kuwabara's gleeful squeal (wonder who he learned _that_ from…) pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yukina!" he cried as a young girl in blue kimono came outside carrying a tray of tea. "How are you today? I haven't seen you in forever! Isn't the weather nice? I bet your birds are really happy about that! Is that your special tea? I love your special tea! What was it again? Jasmine?"

Um, breathe much?

"Hello, Kazuma-san," she smiled. "It's nice to see you, too."

Enter the dancing ponies, chibi-Cupids, fifty thousand hearts, and whatever the hell else Kuwabara thought of as he melted at the sound of Yukina's voice.

The little koorime (as I learned in the DVDs) started passing out cups of tea to everyone. I even noticed the Almighty Hiei make a special trip down from his perch before 'Hn'ing' and returning to it with his tea. Ha, bet he has a soft spot for her.

"Thanks, Yukina-chan," I said with a smile.

"Oh, you're welcome, um, Aka…no…Kuron…" she seemed confused as what to call me.

"Kuronue's fine," I grinned.

"Kuronue-san, then," she said brightly.

Orangey did not like this.

"Oh, Yukina! He's just some loser at Kurama's school! Not important at all! Doesn't go on missions with us or—"

"Actually I went on a recon mission with Red here not too long ago," I grinned, enjoying my new game of Piss the Monkey Off.

"Did you?" Yukina asked politely. "I hope you carried it out safely."

"No problems at all," I smirked a bit. "I'm a professional."

Orangey did not like this at all.

"Well it's not like he's gone on as many missions as I have!"

"You're right," I replied in a tone typically used for small children and the cognitively challenged. "But you haven't gone on _any_ thieving raids, have you? Now _those_ are fun."

"Oh, yeah?!" Kuwabara interjected.

"Was that your snappy comeback?" I asked.

"Why you…" Kuwabara growled, only to be interrupted by his cell phone. "Hold on, it's my Mom…Hi, Mom."

Wow, do I feel cool hanging around this guy. What kind of loser gets stuck taking calls from his mother as he's trying to pick a fight with someone? That's almost as bad as…crap. My own phone started going off.

It was Hazuki.

"Yes?" I answered.

"I just got off the phone with Mrs. Kuwabara," Hazuki stated.

"Great," I replied. "But you should probably be calling the psych ward, not me."

Mommy dearest took no note of this.

"We were discussing you tutoring her son."

"Hey, this sounds way up there in conversations I'd like to avoid for the rest of my life, but I'm kinda busy right now."

"You start today."

"Whaaaaaat?!" Kuwabara and I screamed in unison. There's a scary concept.

* * *

"You guys are leaving to go play School together?" the Yun-Yun asked, the sympathy and concern clearly evident in his voice. "I don't know whether to laugh or take a picture of your faces!"

"Try both," I recommended to the detective. "Then I won't feel guilty about sending you to the Netherworld."

"That's already been destroyed," Kurama spoke up, more than likely as a way to hide a snicker or two.

"Details…"

"Well, my mom told me to come home right away to get ready..." Kuwabaka said sadly, looking at the source of his unrequited hormonal teenage lust-bunny. "But don't let that make you sad, Yukina! I'll stop by when I'm all done! I promise! Wait for me right here, my love! Here begins our beautiful love story!"

Gak.

It was plain-out creepy. The way his eyes got even more sparkly than characters my sister's manga collection, the vertigo-inducing swaying, the rosy cheeks that made him resemble a Pikachu more than a guy in love, the longwinded proclamation of love that made _the Iliad_ look like a children's book…..Yes, sir. There was something deeply wrong with this guy.

"The cow is not real. He's inside my mind," I muttered, brushing my hand through my hair in an attempt to distract me from the oncoming headache.

Kuwabara looked at me strangely. Come to think about it, so did everyone else until the fox caught my reference and laughed a bit.

"What, now?" Kuwabara blinked. "I don't get it…"

"I can see that," I sighed. "Well, might as well get this tutoring thing over. Sooner the better, right?"

We said goodbye to everyone else and started back towards the Lands of Suburbia. Since I didn't want to walk beside the son of the Orange Beast, I walked a few paces ahead. We walked in silence for awhile before the gorilla decided that he didn't want to walk behind me. This led him to pick up his pace until he was a few footsteps ahead of me. I didn't mean to start a competition or anything, but he was kind of smelly and there was a decent breeze today. I didn't want to walk behind that, so before we knew it we were running back to the Lands of Suburbia.

"Ha!" Kuwabara proclaimed between breaths. "I used to think you were some kind of ghost or a weirdo or something! Guess I wasn't too far off!"

"And I used to think you were dropped on your face a few times…" I retorted. "Oh, wait. I still do."

"Shut up, you bastard!" he yelled back in that bizarre tone of anger meets pouting. "I can't believe I ever thought you were a vampire!"

"Hey!" I said in a serious tone, while jumping a fence. "Edward Cullen ain't got shit on me!"

"Ha! You think you're some girly vampire guy!"

"Ha! The first and only reference you caught of mine involved girly pre-teen romance novels!"

And so we continued on our race home, insulting each other the entire way.

Once we got to the Beast residence, I noticed Kuwabara pause before opening the door. This was quite a feat for me, as I was very preoccupied bracing myself for his mother's spine-crushing hug of death.

"Close your eyes," he instructed.

"Excuse me?"

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Just…just because!"

"I'm not closing my eyes, Kuwabara."

"Why not?!"

"Why the hell should I?! I don't know what kind of creepy intentions you have towards me!"

"W-What?! Who ever said anything about that, sicko!"

"You're the one asking me to close my eyes, freak!"

"I have to get the spare key out and I don't want you to know where we keep it!"

"You think I'm going to rob you by walking through your front door?!" I asked, getting frustrated. "This is ridiculous! Just open the damned door!"

"Not until you close your eyes!"

Oh, for the love of…In a flash, I reached under the doormat, pulled out the spare key, and unlocked the door. Kuwabara opened his mouth in shock.

"Newsflash," I said, putting the key in his hand. "85% of families put their freaking key under their doormat. It's been done. Find a new spot."

"Yeah, well where do you keep yours then?" he huffed as he pushed his way inside.

"In the bowels of my sister's demonic, flesh-eating lizard."

* * *

As the issue with the spare key kind of suggested, the house of horrors was blessedly Orange Beast-free. At least for the moment. Praise Inari for small favors. I sat in the chair across from Kuwabaka at his desk, bored out of my Makaien mind.

The dunce on the other hand was very busy reading what had to be a coloring book for all the good it's done him so far. I tried not to let the way he sounded out every other word under his breath get to me too much. Ugh…I was so not cut out for this.

"Hey, Akatsuki…" the Carrot asked me with a mix of frustration and loathing. Hard to sound superior when you have a question about something coming out of a coloring book.

"Yes, little dirt-child?"

"What does 'inconceivable' mean?"

I sighed in exasperation.

"I'll explain and I'll be sure to use small words, you warthog-faced buffoon…"

"A warthog what now?"

This was going to be a long day.

After explaining inconceivable to be synonymous with Kuwabara's chances of beating me in a fight or getting a date with Yukina, I had to dodge a dictionary thrown my way and find a new way to entertain myself while the idiot was Stumped on Phonics.

_Hello, CD collection. _

"Hey, what are you doing?!" Kuwabara yelled from his desk.

"Seeing if you have any taste in music," I replied, tossing a particularly bad album over my shoulder. "Such a disappointment.

"That's not what you're here for, anyway!"

"You're right," I agreed, moving on to video games. "I'd half-expect to see a Jonas Brothers album in there anyway."

"Be serious man!"

I couldn't help but look over my shoulder and laugh.

"What? You don't actually expect me to teach you anything, do you?" I gave him a palms up with a fake sigh. "This little study party was arranged by our mothers, not me."

"Hmph. I knew I'd be better off asking Kurama to help me instead of you…" the Spawn of Satan grumbled.

"That's brilliant!" I exclaimed, eyes brightening. "Especially coming from you!"

"Hey!"

"You should call Kurama in!" I tried to rationalize with the gorilla. "He can teach you how to count to twelve and I can play Modern Warfare 2 with him!

Kuwabara just stared at me.

"Please tell me you have Modern Warfare 2…" I winced.

Reality is a harsh mistress. Apparently he had the game, but had recently lent it to Yusuke because he was having trouble with those pesky Juggernauts. Dammit.

And from there, for whatever reason, we started talking about the last dinner our families had together.

"You're Mom seems cool, but I don't really like you or your brother."

"Yeah, I'm sure that'll just crush his fragile self-esteem," I replied sarcastically. "At least you were smart enough to leave Hana out of this."

"Oh, she's okay!" the creeper smiled eerily. "She reminds me of this one girl I know…"

As he started drifting off into Dreamland where the flying ponies shit rainbows out of their asses and the sun wears a jolly ole smile on his face, I recognized this as a conversation I did NOT want to have/listen to. It's bad enough that this guy was talking about my little sister, but it's much, much worse that something like that could lead into any potential Yuki-talk. No, thank you. I'd like to keep my breakfast in my stomach, where it belongs.

"Well, look at the time!" I announced abruptly. "It's been over an hour, so I'd better get going!"

"It's barely been a half hour!" argued Orangey. "And you haven't taught me anything!"

"Hey, I'm more of an independent study-supporter anyway," I grinned, gathering my things. "Best of luck not flunking out of grade school."

"I'm in high school," he snarled back. "Not that some stupid demon like you would understand."

"Oi, Waste of Existance?"

"Now, what?

"I'm curious, what's the difference between a hypothesis and a hypnotist?"

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"Okay, and how many colors are in a rainbow?"

"Seven."

I couldn't help but laugh at his immediate answer.

"That answers a lot," I grinned and waved. "Catch ya later, Meathead!"

Time to RTC like a Bad Dog was on my tail. Which reminds me…._Where's Fifi?_

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 16**

**::A/N::**

Neko: And with the end of this filleracious chapter, I would like to offer Kuronue's tutoring services to any of those interested.

Kuro: Wait, what?!

Neko: For the low, low price of $2,000 dollars per session, you too can be as wise as Kuro-muu in the areas of English, Japanese, Karate, Mathematics, and Pancakes!

Kuro: I hate math!

Neko: That's right, and we're throwing in a free lesson to the first 10 callers! So don't delay and call today! That number is—

Kuro: I never agreed to this, Cat! Find someone else to be your cashcow!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**Koorime** (Jap.) "Ice Maiden"

**Oi** (Jap.) "Hey"

**RTC** (Eng.) "Return To Castle" Yet another Kingdom Hearts reference! Used by Organization XIII members; they would usually say this after completing a mission and returning to their base.

**Bad Dog** (Eng.) An enemy in Kingdom Hearts, used here for the double-meaning of a Fifi reference.


	17. Chapter 17

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Holy crap, I updated! This chapter will be less filler and obscure references, but still just as insane. I blame the rap music. (Seriously, I've heard my neighbors play Sexy Bitch about 7 times in the last hour…)

**------Respose To Reviewers------**

Neko: For those who asked, the cow reference was from the Legend of Mana, an oldie but goodie as far as RPG's go. Nice to see you recognize the Princess Bride reference, **Kuramasredredrose**!

Kuro: Why did people think I'd be a bad tutor?

Neko: Because deep in your heart, you know you'd teach them "Baita ni makoto nashi" before you taught them "Arigato gozaimasu."

Kuro: ….Maybe.

Neko: And don't worry **Angel of the Midnight Sea**, Kuro managed to survive this encounter with tutoring Kuwabara. Whether there will be more sessions or not, I haven't decided.

Kuro: Then I'll decide for you….NO.

* * *

I am not a serious man.

In fact, most people I know would probably describe me as 'laid-back' and 'carefree' (after sexy, brilliant, and delicious) which isn't always a bad thing.

I prefer to go through life at my own pace and not think too hard about anything that doesn't require it. In that regard, I lead a relatively peaceful life because I don't go out of my way to find things wrong with it (although this can get me into trouble too).

I am not a serious man. I don't take many things seriously, be they how I got here, what the deal is with the windflower in the park, why my amulet somehow cloned itself, or say….school elections.

That said; Monday morning was quite a treat for me. And by treat, I mean desire to brain someone with a car battery over and over again until time reset itself.

Everywhere you looked were the most hideous Kaito for President posters imaginable. His fat head took up the majority of the paper and the color scheme looked like something a toddler came up with. Or something they vomited up with. Macaroni and cheese meets day old eggplant. They were _that_ good. On the header it said: Kaito Yuu for President, and on the bottom it listed his near-flawless GPA. Not even I have that kind of ego.

I noticed a couple of students looking over my direction and whispering. Were they expecting some kind of angry response or something? A girl with short blonde hair ran up to me.

"Akatsuki-san! I'm with the Meiou High School Newspaper! What do you think of all this publicity in Kaito-san's favor?! Do you feel threatened?! Angry?! Unable to compete?!"

Apparently they were.

"I'm pretty sure this violates some kind of littering policy."

"Huh?" the reporter girl responded, not expecting that answer.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my less than adequate rival…" a voice snorted behind me. I instantly recognized its fishy owner.

"Sorry," I replied. "I don't like to compare myself with seafood."

Kaito tried to brush that comment off so he could continue to gloat.

"I told you I'd have the last laugh, Akatsuki."

"It's all yours, Fishy," I smiled, then let a hint of koumori in. "He who laughs last, thinks slowest."

"You can talk big, but it still doesn't change the fact that I have more publicity than you do," smirked the Fishboy. "What do you think this reporter is going to write about? My ambitious start to a successful campaign or your lack of one?"

"Hopefully it won't be in color…" I said, holding up a poster. "How did something this repulsive get brought into the world anyway?"

"Like I said, talk all you want, it still won't earn you any real support."

And with that, the smelly one left, some kind of spring in his step that looked like a cross between a limp and a strut. Boy has no swag.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

I got to homeroom early for a change, so I wouldn't have to deal with any more reporters or people asking about what I planned to do now. That would just get on my nerves. This whole campaign routine isn't really my thing. I was in it for innocent, pure as snowflakes motives – get uniforms that don't destroy a person's dignity and crush Gill-boy's fat head. See? Saintly.

As I walked into the empty room, I noticed something on my desk – yet another Kaito for President poster. Wonderful. This one was at least twice the size of the others and when I tried to pick it up to throw away, I realized it was taped to my desktop.

Anger.

Rather than spend ten minutes ripping the damned thing off, I summoned a light breeze to do it for me. Then I proceeded to tear the stupid poster to shreds and throw it in the garbage.

As if that wasn't enough, the loudspeaker crackled to life with some daily reminders for us.

"Good morning, students," Vice-Principal Akusei's screechy voice greeted us.

I winced.

"This is Vice-Principal Akusei reminding you all to begin studying for the nation-wide exams that will be coming up in three short months. Getting an early start will help ensure your success and promote your dedication to your school. Remember to continue to hold up the high standard Meiou has previously set in every nation-wide exam before this one."

I'm willing to bet this guy gets a raging man-boner every time he gets to say the words 'nation-wide exam.'

"And don't forget about the upcoming election of Meiou's Student Council President. We already have some fierce competition being led by Kaito Yuu," the grating voice went on. "Additionally, any votes for Kaito Yuu will result in a single detention taken off your record. I repeat, any votes made in Kaito Yuu's favor will result in the voter not having to serve one detention. Thank you."

_That's fucking sabotage!! _

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How the hell could Fishy do that?! How in the name of Yama did the little prick manage to convince Akusai to do that?! The guy lives and breathes to enforce rules by any means necessary! I sat back down in my desk and took a few deep breaths.

_C'mon Kuronue, you can't let some punk-ass ningen get to you like this. You're way better than that little nerd. You'll find away outta this and kick his ass! Now get your game face back on and stomp some worm-eaters!_

"I know you don't like others responding to your inner dialog, but I'm really tempted to say something about going to your happy place right about now," came a calm voice beside me.

"Kurama?" I blinked, reopening my eyes.

"If I was a figment of your imagination, we'd both be in trouble," he grinned.

"Can you believe that crap?" I complained.

"We'll have to talk about it later," chuckled the fox, gesturing to the door. "Unless you want to involve the rest of the class."

"Good point," I agreed, noticing a few students trickling into the classroom to beat the warning bell.

"Kuroji-kun!!" screamed a voice.

It wasn't a student, it wasn't a cranky staff member, it wasn't even some random demon coming to claim my life because I stole his lucky pair of socks back in Makai. It was the Hairwoman with tears streaming down her face. Or maybe it was mascara streaming down her face? I couldn't really tell, but I could think of a few 80s rock stars that would be very jealous.

"Um, yes?" I asked, not really sure how to answer the crazy woman that was now griping the sides of my desk for dear life. That random demon after my life was looking better and better. "What's up, Tachibana-sensei?"

"You mustn't lose hope!!"

"E-Excuse me?" I sweatdropped. She was taking things a little too far. No need to freak out that much about detentions. It's not like she had to serve them anyway. I blinked.

"Even in your darkest hour, you mustn't lose hope!" Frizzy went on.

All this over a little thing like detentions? I've dealt with worse. I was even willing to bet that most of the students here have dealt with worse. It's not like they were giving detentions to students who supported me…

"You may be oppressed now, but that can't be the final nail in your political coffin! You must rise again from your misfortune like a true hero!"

What's worse? Serving a detention once in a badass new uniform or not serving a detention, going home early, and getting teased by rival schools that don't have to wear a uniform defying the physics of WTF?

The morning bell rang.

The people stared.

Yes, I was standing on my desk again.

"Are all of you swayed by the idea of getting out of a single detention?" I asked my classmates. "One measly little detention? Have you lost sight of our dream? The dream of one day having a normal school uniform?!"

They looked at me in shock, remembering the initial reason I was running again.

"So don't let Kaito's Get Out of Jail Free card blind you from your true purpose—getting _real_ uniforms that don't make you look like an art school flunkie!" I continued.

The class cheered.

"For whatever reason, you earned your detention! Take charge of it and serve it! For every minute you serve detention in your fuchsia abomination, you will be closer to serving them in style! With me as your Student Council President!" I proclaimed.

They cheered again.

"Besides, I got like 10 of the stupid things in Kyoto and I served every single one of them before I transferred. Suck it up, people."

This got a laugh out of the crowd before the sobbing Tachibana tried to calm us down and begin class. Or rather, the class rep tried to calm her down and get her to begin.

I don't care what anyone says, I didn't start the fire….may have ignited it though.

* * *

After class, I walked towards my locker with Kurama.

"So? How'd I do?"

"Very interesting angle," he replied with a smile.

"Whaddaya mean 'interesting?'" I asked, a little put off. I thought I turned that around pretty damn well. "What would you have done different?"

"Kuronue, this is _Meiou_," he laughed. "Most of the students average one detention per _year_. Kaito's promotional move was useless."

"Uh…"

No wonder Akusai was able to let one detention slide.

"I'll see you in Biology," the redhead waved and walked off.

Well now I just feel _silly_.

"Akatsuki!" called out a voice.

I turned around and was surrounded by three upperclassmen.

"My little brother told me what you said in your classroom!" the first guy said with a clenched fist. "I just want to let you know…I'll serve 10 _more_ detentions if it means you're elected president!!"

"What?" I asked, a little confused. I hadn't intended my little speech to end up quite like that.

"Yeah! Me too!" agreed his buddy.

"Anything to get new uniforms!" chimed in the third.

"Hey, that's awesome," I grinned. "But we better get going or Akusai will hold you to that when we're late to class."

They joked with me for a bit and were on their way. This got me thinking though… what if some of the teachers were going to be harder on me, now that I'm opposing their beloved Nerd King?

"I guess I actually have to be on time from now on…" I thought out loud. "…Che."

* * *

Another AP English, another pissed of Fish Fillet Sandwich.

Apparently he also heard how his little scheme was backfiring.

On the plus side, he was only boiling on the inside, so he didn't feel the need to scream at the rest of us. Let us hope he will continue doing this in the future. There's something I could get used to.

Asides from that, it was a relatively boring class. Putting verbs in the past tense isn't exactly rocket science. I tried to look like I was somewhat paying attention though. Just for show. Once this whole election thing was over, I could go back to being the slacker I am deep down. Wait…could I go that long pretending to be a good student?

Christ in hell, I was screwed.

Naturally, Fishboy was unable to contain his inner bitchyness for any longer than a single class and felt the need to harass me following the bell. Naturally.

"I suppose you think you've won, then?" asked the Fish, snidely.

"What? You thought that little Detention promo would help your cause?" I laughed. "Look around you; nobody ever gets more than four detentions in the four years they spend here. What's one less detention to serve when you hardly have any in the first place?"

He growled in response. I grinned, sure pays to have Kurama on your side.

"Hell, people get them so rarely here, they're almost _fun_."

"Well, don't let it get to your head!" he snapped back quickly, trying to regain his inner-fishy composure. "I'll show you up again, soon enough."

"Bring your vice principals and your One Free Detentions, I'll do as fate dictates and crush you every time."

He looked at me in confusion.

"Video game spinoff reference," I sighed. "You wouldn't understand."

"I prefer Tetris."

"You would."

One more app I would have to delete off my cell phone later.

* * *

"With the exception of Karate, all of my classes are 50 minutes too long."

"Kuronue, all of your classes are 50 minutes long, total."

"Exactly."

It was 3rd period Bio, my lab partner was absent, so Kurama was filling in for them and stuck being my shrink for the hour. Whatever guilt I might have had for the guy was overridden by the fact that he's been doing this for the better part of a century or two…or three, but who's counting?

"At least Kaito is being civil for the most part," the youko pointed out. "He could be like Toki and throw sharp objects at you whenever he was upset."

"True story," I laughed. "It's a wonder we got anything done at all back in the day. 'Course, you were always so serious and Hayabusa was always such a kiss-ass."

"Perhaps, but I remember the source of all pranks usually being traced back to a certain koumori."

"Whatever, fox. I was a complete angel," I defended myself. "My ways of showing affections towards others were just completely misunderstood."

"I'm not sure everyone else would agree after the time you released a hoard of demonic frogs in the training room," Kurama shook his head. "I can still hear the screams…"

"Wouldn't that be a really funny prank here?" I beamed. "Imagine the chaos…."

"I have a feeling that the ningen here would be even less forgiving that the youkai at your little display of 'affection' as you call it."

"Boo."

I went back to my observation on the classroom mice we were raising. This would be a lot more fun when we worked with the cobra. I then considered putting the mouse in the snake cage and observe its reactions. It would still be working with the mouse, but add in the bonus of playing with snakes. And it would all be for the sake of science. We all win. Well, everyone except the mouse.

In the margins of my paper I doodled a picture of a snake eating a giant fish and felt much better.

* * *

The rest of the day went by relatively quickly and it was time for art before I knew it. I sat down in my usual spot next to That Guy Who Draws Weapons and took out my required sketchbook. I really wasn't in the mood to draw today, so I actually listened to the beginning of Kobayashi-sensei's lecture on creativity being held back by academic standards and the like.

"Hey, Akatsuki…" That Guy whispered.

I swear by the end of the semester, I was going to figure out his actual name.

"Yeah?"

"Are you really running for president?"

"If not, the joke's on me."

"Oh, okay," he answered and went back to sketching a medieval axe.

This was the reason I always sat next to the kid. Sure he was slightly awkward, but he didn't bullshit around, said only what needed to be said, and was wicked with a pencil and a sketchpad. Which reminds me…

"By the way, you got any good poster ideas? You're good at art," I questioned him.

"No," he laughed a little. "I'm only good at drawing weapons."

"So like, me stabbing Kaito is the best you could do?"

"Pretty much."

"Let's see it."

In a matter of minutes he handed over a picture of one stick figure labeled 'Akatsuki' swinging the coolest claymore I have ever seen down on the second stick figure (labeled 'Kaito') who was running away in tears.

"What do you think?"

"Can I frame it?" I asked, only half-joking.

* * *

"And then ZOMBIES attacked me ON MOTORCYCLES!!!"

"Fascinating."

"Fucking RE: 5. That is some messed up plotlining," I laughed, now in better spirits.

"You may consider spending more time on your political campaign than your Resident Evil campaign," suggested the fox.

"Yeah, I could bullshit my GPA and write about my short-lived career as a tutor. Great."

"I heard about that," the redhead smirked. "Maybe you should stick to video games after all."

"Or video game tutoring."

"Or explaining to the teachers that's why you didn't get your homework done."

"Lame," I sighed, pulling my backpack out of my locker. "You ready to run for your life from hoards of screaming young girls that threaten to tear you limb from beautiful limb?"

I looked up again and Kurama wasn't there. He was at the end of the hallway. Who was there was the first of many rabid fangirls looming nearby, eyes glowing in some unnatural kind of light.

"I've been doing this a lot longer than you have!" the kitsune called from the safety of the other end of the hallway and continued out the exit with a laugh.

"Oh shi—"

-----------------------------------------**END: Chap. 17**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Hurray for attempts to go back to the plot!

Kuro: That wasn't a plot! And you left me to get mauled by crazy fangirls!

Neko: Well, you know… life sucks and all.

Kuro: Life isn't able to suck when life is over! Get me outta there!

**Translation Corner------------------------**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**Che** (Jap.) "Damn" "Dammit" "Crap" …you get the idea.

**Toki** (Jap.) "Opportune Time" & **Hayabusa** (Jap.) "Peregrine Falcon" Both are OCs from Shallow Sleep. They were members of Youko's guild; Toki being a short-tempered swordsman and Hayabusa being a calculating red kitsune. Not as important to this story as the one they first appeared in.

**Baita ni makoto nashi** (Jap.) "Never trust a whore."

**Arigato gozaimasu** (Jap.) "Thank you very much."


	18. Chapter 18

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: School is over and I've rewatched Boondock Saints I and II more than I should probably admit since then, so you get an update. See? It all makes sense.

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Kuro: There's been something I've been meaning to ask…

Neko: No, Kuro-muu, I don't know why they would make another Nightmare on Elm Street either. You'd think Freddy would get tired of killing brain dead teenagers.

Kuro: _(ignores) _How is it that not only Iro has fans, but That Guy That Draws Weapons has fans? What the hell?

Neko: I don't know, but that was one of the funniest reviews I've read in awhile, **Kuramasredredrose**.

Kuro: It just doesn't make sense…the psycho cat didn't even give any real description of him…He doesn't even have a name!

Neko: Deal with it, princess, not everyone has to worship you. I am happy with the overall positive support for the school president arc, though. I'm not really into politics, so I wasn't sure I was writing it well enough. _(scratches head)_

Kuro: Whatever, did I win yet or are you going to drag it on longer?

Neko: Shut it. Kaito could still win, Iro could assassinate you, or a mysterious 3rd contender could appear at the end. Depends on my mood. (Relax, **Chaos Dragon-Fox**, he'll be fine…probably) It'll all be over in another 2 – 3 chapters, depending on when I come up with a good slogan for you.

Kuro: Crap.

Neko: Don't worry, **Death 101-Fox Version**, I've had Kuro's posters sketched out for a long time now, and laughed maniacally for the entire process. It should get an interesting response out of Meiou. Remember readers, a vote for Kuronue is a vote for Pocky!

OoOoOoOo

I would like to let it be known that I, Kuronue/Kuroji Akatsuki, candidate for Student Council President, would never, ever, condone the usage of giant mutant space frogs for school pranks. The whole idea of infusing average frogs with pure pop rocks, random chemicals, and youki is wrong both morally and ethically. Why, I would never even consider breaking into the chemistry room to conduct this experiment. That would violate the school rules, which I oh-so-strongly uphold. And how would I know that the chemistry teacher keeps his spare set of lab keys in the teacher's lounge, second row, fifth key on the right, labeled Room 209?

Besides, the frogs would probably just unexpectedly blow up. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Ahem. So it was about halfway through lunch period and I had just gotten back from the, er, _library_, where I was studying. Yes, studying hard so I could one day become an astronaut or something. Riiiiight.

"Hey, 'Rama," I greeted my friend at our usual meeting spot/safehouse from fangirls. "What's for lunch?"

I brought my own of course, but it's always good to check his in case his mom made dessert the night before. That means he usually brings leftovers for lunch and that means I usually beg him for some. Sadly, that means I usually sacrifice some chopsticks to the demonic fire-rat that lives in the tree above us, but Shiori food is usually worth it.

"I already ate the manju, sorry," he chuckled. "What have you been up to?"

"All I can say is that it is impossible for humanity to ever truly control the giant mutant space frogs…"

"All I can say is that I'm better off not knowing."

"Probably."

"Have you and Kaito been getting along better today?"

"I threw a pen cap at him today in AP English."

"How sporting of you."

"It was worth it."

That was over three periods ago and I still don't think he noticed it in his hair yet. I really did have his best interest at heart. That's why I threw the bright pink cap I found on the floor. Nobody saw me do it, so I'd like to think we can all assume it's Kaito's new fashion accessory. Goes with his eyes.

"I should warn you about Karate today," the fox said.

"Oh?"

"I heard we're combining classes to spar today."

"That's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me," I grinned with mock shojo eyes.

I may have played it off as a joke on the outside, but on the inside I was ecstatic. You have no idea how long I've waited to spar with someone who wasn't asking me what a 'kata' was or screaming the principles of Goju-ryu in my face. It's been great being able to vent a little stress through my Karate class, but Yukio-sensei was driving me nuts.

Allow me to enlighten you about the Dojo Kun, also known as the Karate Code. There are two ways of interpreting it – The Normal Way and The Yukio Way.

1. Seek perfection of character.

1. Study Goju-ryu karate.

2. Be faithful.

2. You dare go over to that damned Shohei's side of the gym and I will break bones you didn't know you had…

3. Endeavor.

3. You're spirit is too weak! Show me your true spirit or I'll rip it out of you myself!

4. Respect others.

4. Why are you talking? You bring dishonor to my dojo every time you open your mouth and let sounds come out!

5. Refrain from violent behavior.

5. Is that all you got? You hit like a two year old! If you don't start taking this seriously, I'm going to use your face to create a new window in that brick wall over there!

Yep, welcome to my Karate class for the last few weeks. Showing off on my first day has become my double-edged sword. I am no longer "that freak in the black." I have been upgraded to "that crazy-strong freak in the black" and have since been hounded by Yukio every class to give up Wado-ryu for his Goju-ryu. Since this isn't happening anytime soon, it leads to conflict.

Now don't get me wrong, not all of this conflict is bad. Sometimes it leads to fighting with the Sensei himself, which is far more interesting than sparring with the other students in my class. I even grudgingly had to admit to myself a couple of his techniques were pretty cool. Sometimes he even gets so annoyed with my Wado-ryu style, that he sends me off to work with someone else less violent and crazy in the head. Unfortunately, more and more often he's had days where he just feels like beating on me all class.

Now I get why.

"So we're gonna Ultimate Battle of Ultimate Destiny this 6th period?" I asked excitedly.

"Apparently."

"Is it bad that that I'm more than willing to use Yukio's little grudge against your Sensei to fight my best friend in an epic 1-on-1 battle to the death?" I laughed.

"No, but I believe it's a sign of mental instability," the fox chuckled.

"Hell, we knew that, Kurama."

"True," he smiled.

"You're going to fight the fox?" a disembodied voice questioned.

I didn't even have to ask.

"Yes, Tree-rat!" I shouted up to the branches. "It is our destiny! We must kung-fu fight!"

Without another word he flickered down before us. I was almost getting used to this.

"You're going to fight the fox?" He repeated, eyes glinting with a touch of crazy.

"You wanna sell tickets or something?"

The small youkai then gave me a sneer so intense, I swear the tree behind me started to smolder under the pressure. You'd either need Kuwabara's head on a stick or Windex on steroids to wipe that sucker off. Tree-rat looked like a pyro that just found a crate of illegal fireworks. In other words, this information pleased him, much to my surprise.

"Hn," he gave his standard grunt and disappeared with a murderous grin.

Oh, sure. I try to steal part of Kurama's lunch and my hand gets set on fire; I proclaim my upcoming match against him and I get the world's most evil smile. What gives here?

I turned to Kurama.

"Translation?"

"Hiei will probably be watching the sparring match."

"And laugh in maniacal glee?"

"No, he'd have to watch from the shadows, so it wouldn't look very good if they suddenly became sentient."

"He won't jump in though, right?"

That one might be a little difficult to explain.

"Only if he gets bored."

"Noted."

OoOoOoOo

Novel Study was getting to be impossible to sit through, despite the Hairwoman's best efforts to wow us with some good old fashioned Socrates. How we made the jump from Shakespeare to Socrates was beyond me, but at this point I didn't care. The only thing that kept me from jumping out of my seat and destroying the place was the threat that it might land me a spot next to the prisoners in Socrates' heart-warming tale of discovering reality by escaping the big house.

My problem was that the big house I'd end up in would be in Reikai. Doubtful they allow visitations either.

It was even more difficult to keep up the façade of nose to the grindstone when I was promised a sparring match with Kurama next period. Finally, a fight I could look forward to! Playing nice with the cute and cuddly little ningen gets old after awhile, and right now it was at the level of my grandma's month old bread.

I hadn't really seen my redhaired friend in action since he donned silver fur, but was excited nonetheless. Looking back on that night we fought the kappas together, he still had quite the ki-level hidden away too. Not that I expected him to use that ki for anything besides kicks and punches….I hope.

"What kind of message was Socrates trying to tell us when the escaped prisoner first encountered the sunlight?" The Frizz rambled on. "Anyone, anyone…?"

_Bueller, Bueller?_

Still wasn't quite sure what to make of the little flying shadow's happy face either. I didn't think he'd interfere, but was confused all the same. That's the look you give a rookie before sending them down the hallway where the rest of the thieving guild was lying in wait to haze them. It's the look a bull gets when he sees a matador with a limp. Hell, it's the look Iro gives me every time my plots to kill him are thwarted by Hana and PETA.

To make a long and overly analytical class short, I spent the rest of my time counting ceiling tiles until the bell rang and freed us from our own prison at our desks. It wasn't easy to resist the urge to jump out of my seat and all but _fly_ to the gym, but somehow I fought it and won…barely.

Did make it to my seat in the line up on Yukio-sensei's side of the gym all decked out and ready to go within 4.2 ½ minutes though.

OoOoOoOo

"All right, students, this is the day you've all been training for!" Yukio's voice boomed over us.

Pretty sure on the other side of the gym, Shohei-sensei was telling his class to fight nice or something to that equivalent.

"Today we will destroy that damned Shohei's entire class!" the madman raged on.

This was met with loud applause from his little fanbase he had gathered. You'd think by now, we would only know Shohei-sensei as 'That damned Shohei' after all of Yukio's speeches as of late. Opposite to us, I could hear Shohei's distant voice telling his class to do their best and take what they can from this learning experience.

Why for the love of god, did I not sign up for that session instead?

"And you will lead the way for us today, Akatsuki!" our Oni teacher bellowed. "You will destroy that damned Shohei's star student and lead the way for the rest of your class!"

Maybe it wasn't too late to pick off one of Shohei's students and take their place…

"Do you understand, Akatsuki?" he continued to shout, pointing at me. "I want you to KILL that red-haired blackbelt!"

You know, I should really introduce my good friend Yukio to my other good friend Tree-Rat. I'm sure they'd get along great. Well, asides from the whole killing that red-haired blackbelt thing. Frog Muffin might object to killing his only friend.

After five more agonizing minutes of Yukio's call to arms, he instructed a senior student to warm up the class before the sparring could begin. During the two laps around our half of the gym, he pulled me aside.

"Are you ready, Akatsuki?" my teacher of sorts asked with a grin similar to the one Tree-Rat wore earlier. Coincidence? I think not.

"Sure thing, Sensei," I replied casually. "Kill the redhead. Got it."

This earned me a disapproving look.

"I'm serious, boy. Do you realize how much is riding on your victory against Shohei's little pet?"

I couldn't really picture Kurama being anybody's pet, but nodded before I started remembering previous mental pictures of Youko crouching outside a little doghouse with a collar and food dish with his name on it. Bursting into laughter probably wasn't the reaction Yukio was looking for.

"The rules?" I asked, trying to sound professional, while the inner Kuronue fell over laughing at the failed attempt to block out Chibi Pet Youko.

"There are none!" Yukio growled. "Just do whatever it takes to beat that guy!"

Yessir, I thought sarcastically as he stormed off.

OoOoOoOo

Unfortunately, it seemed Shohei-sensei hadn't been as strict with pairing his students up with others as Yukio had been. Whereas Yukio's orders were strictly 'Akatsuki takes on Minamino, the rest of you do whatever,' Shohei had suggested to his students to find someone with the same rank as them to spar with.

And that was how I ended up sparring against one of Shohei's other blackbelt students, instead of Kurama.

I had tried to bypass him, but a tall, lanky guy found me before I could get to my friend. Figures. And of course, I'm not the kind of guy to turn down a challenge, even without Yukio's training.

"This will be great," my unwanted opponent said, jumping in place to get his adrenaline going. "I sparred with Yukio-sensei's other senior students before, but not you. I hear you're quite good!"

"Yeah, well, something like that," I replied, trying to smile to hide the immense disappointment of fighting him instead of a certain kitsune.

"My name is Ohayashi," he bowed. "It's an honor to fight with you."

"Akatsuki," I returned the bow. "Likewise."

As Ohayashi settled into a strong horse stance, I recalculated my own game plan – END IT, AND END IT _FAST_.

It was nothing personal; I just really wanted to do battle with my best friend before I started to actually believe all these violent urges were unhealthy for me after all.

Ohayashi started out by coming at me with a couple of lightening fast strikes with his hands. Or at least they may have been considered lightening fast by human standards; by youkai standards, they would rank somewhere in the category of "toddler" and "soft bunny whiskers." I deflected these easy enough and covered up my sigh of disappointment with a strike to his exposed solar plexus.

"Had enough?" I asked him as he doubled over, gasping for breath.

"N-Never!" he replied with pure determination. "That was a wonderful strike! So different from the Goju-ryu I'm used to facing!"

"Sorry about that," I grinned, despite myself. "Yukio-sensei and I had a bit of a disagreement on the style I should practice. He says his way; I say what's worked best so far."

Ohayashi chuckled for a minute, grateful for the chance to catch his breath again. He settled back into a different stance I didn't quite recognize.

"Shall we continue then?"

_Your funeral_…

We picked it up from there, him throwing a variety of strikes at me that were either blocked or deflected in my favor. I didn't want to show off too much, so I wouldn't stand out, but I was reaching the end of my fucking rope. I was not known for my superior patience like other youkai in this gym, I was supposed to be _fighting_ said youkai!

Ohayashi was slowly running out of steam (and technique) about as fast as my boredom was skyrocketing. I was now at the point of trying to pick out Kurama from the other people in the crowd.

Aha! There!

My redhaired friend was currently occupied with the mountain troll and looking about as happy about it as I was. Well, okay, he was doing a lot better job than I was at hiding his boredom, but I knew it was still there. If he still had his little ears, they would most definitely be drooping right about now.

Our eyes met for a split-second, and not wanting to waste the chance, I made an exaggerated gesture to my head, imitating 'Sad Ears." Anybody else would have thought I was nuts, but Kurama understood in a flash. I kinda felt bad….for the human troll he was fighting.

It seemed my friend let out the Embarrassment/Anger/Kill Kuronue emotions going through his head into the mighty impressive roundhouse kick he aimed at his opponent. The blow connected and all 300 pounds of everyone's favorite mountain troll were sent flying off the mat. Both senseis even gaped at him for a second. It would have done Chuck Norris proud.

Nice to know I can still inspire him.

Had it been anyone else less stocky, I don't think they would have been getting up anytime soon. The troll declined the request to go to the doctor's office and opted to lie down where he was for a little longer. In true Yukio-fashion, he insisted that he was fine and asked Kurama for a rematch later when further prodded to seek medical attention. My guy wasn't so lucky.

In light of my distraction, Ohayashi used the opportunity to strike. Since I was only half-watching him now, I kind of misjudged his location and proceeded to block him with my foot. And when I say block him with my foot, I mean kick him in the nose.

Oh, shit.

My opponent was bleeding like a stuck pig and I felt worse than the farmer that offered Wilbur up for slaughter.

"Ah, hell, I'm really sorry, Ohayashi!" I said, crouching down to his level. I had meant to end the fight, not hurt the guy!

The blackbelt tried to put on a brave act and wave my apology off. A second later I felt Kurama's presence beside me.

"Take this," Kurama said simply, offering his classmate a towel to stop the bleeding.

Unless my koumori eyes decided to betray me, I could've swore I saw my friend add something to it from the sleeve of his gi using true lightning speed. My koumori nose also now registered a familiar scent of a healing plant I used to get from Kurama out of pity back in the day. At times, even cold-hearted Youko felt bad about sending his Plants of Death after me. At times.

Sure enough, Ohayashi clutched the towel to his nose and I heard the slightest crack of bones and cartilage and whatever else noses are made of, snap back into place. Good timing too, as Shohei ran onto the scene.

"Ohayashi-kun, are you alright?" he asked with a tone of fatherly concern.

The boy nodded, but let his instructor inspect it.

"I don't think anything's broken, but you should go to Dr. Hidoi just in case," came his instructions. "Akatsuki, could you go with him to explain what happened?"

Because obviously Ohayashi wasn't going to be able to speak clearly with a towel shoved halfway up his nose.

"Yeah…sure." I hesitantly agreed. As much as I didn't want to go and waste more time not sparring, I had to admit the whole thing was my fault. Damn my conscience to hell.

I helped Ohayashi to his feet and we were off. I chose to ignore Yukio's deathglares, daggers, and other assorted unhappy faces aimed at my direction.

OoOoOoOo

It ended up being a good thing that I actually paid attention to Kurama's tour of the school back when he was my student guide. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't have been able to find the doctor's office. Now what was that warning Kurama had given me about him during staff intros….?

"What the hell? _Another_ one?" came a very annoyed voice upon our entry to the office.

That's right. Enchanting Personality Number 2.

This was definitely not the same charming staff member I met a few weeks ago. This Dr. Horrible was sitting with his feet propped up on his desk, coffee in hand, and the world's biggest frown on his considerably less perfectly manicured face.

"Don't just stand there like idiots, get in here and tell me what happened," Mr. Grouchy-Face commanded.

"He got kicked in the face…_sir_." I snapped back at him, narrowly replacing 'Your Highness' with 'sir' at the last second. If he was going to be a little bastard, then so was I.

"Wonderful…" Hidoi muttered. "Minamino sent me another one…"

"Actually…"

"How is it that such a little bookworm can break people twice his size in half?" The Not-So-Good Doctor asked no one in particular.

I felt the need to interrupt again. Not just because I don't like people talking crap about my friends and not just because I wanted to take all the glory for stomping in poor Ohayashi's face…

"It was me, not Minamino."

…._I just like to interrupt._

"Oh, I'm sorry!" exclaimed Hidoi dramatically. "I didn't see your adorable little black ribbon there on your matching black jammies!"

His cutesy expression fell.

"You think that gives you the right to beat up on other students?"

"Of course not!" I yelled right back. "It was an accident! Not like I planned to kick his in the face before our match."

It just sorta…happened.

"Yeah, yeah…it's always an accident…" Dr. Tree Up His Butt waved off my explanation, and began some paperwork. "Like I haven't heard that before. Can't you meatheads come up with a better excuse?"

I tried my best to recall anything at all from that meditation lesson Youko had given me long ago, but it failed me back then too.

"Ooh! Fierce!" Hidoi mocked my angry expression and once again waved me away. "Why don't you go back to the rest of your little pajama buddies and beat up some new kid…?"

Not trusting myself to stay in his presence any longer without strangling him, I left the office, slamming the door on my way out. Had Giant Mutant Space Frogs been able to be controlled by man, I would have released the entire hoard into his expensive little sports car. Prick.

OoOoOoOo

I returned to yet another happy, smiling face.

"Where have you been?" snarled Yukio, face contorting into an expression that would have been right at home in Makai.

Hell and back, thanks for asking.

I chose not to answer because it would just waste more time. That and I wanted to save what little patience I had for my match with Kurama. Thankfully, Yukio was guiding me towards him now. If yanking someone by the scruff of their gi counts as guiding, that is.

"Hello, Kuro," he greeted me. "Have a nice trip?"

"Miserable doesn't have enough synonyms," I cracked my knuckles. "You ready for this shit, my dear brother?"

"Let's do some gratuitous violence," the kitsune chuckled with a bow that I returned quickly, eager for the match to begin.

"Don't be fooled by his peaceful demeanor!" Yukio shouted from the sidelines.

You're telling me.

"It's part of his tricks! Makes you drop your guard!"

Yeah, I've only see him do it 700 times this century, genius.

"Don't let him—!"

At this point I chose to tune out my wonderful Karate instructor and focus on my opponent.

Good thing too, the very next second he was sending a kick right at my pretty little face.

I managed to block it, in hopes to catch him off balance, but as I raised my second hand to strike, he lashed out with his other leg. It was all I could do to block that one too, causing me to leap back and create some distance.

That lasted for a good nanosecond.

In a flash, he was at it again, punching this time.

It took me a second to readjust to fighting a youkai and not a human, so he got in a lucky jab or two, but halfway through his kata, I got him in a joint lock and threw him over my shoulder.

This would have been epic, had he not grabbed my gi to break his fall and kick me in the upper shoulder in the process. Sure was glad I moved my head out of the way…

I didn't let it get me down, though. My shoulder tingled a little, which let me know he was taking this a little seriously. Had I not been in the middle of a fight, I would have taken the opportunity to dance around like a fool. This was the fight I had been waiting for! Hell, I might even do a twirl or two later.

My next move was a low kick intended to sweep under Kurama's feet to knock him off balance. I didn't really think it would work, but I could use it to lead into another set of kicks while he blocked. And sure enough as soon as my left foot swept under his, he jumped over it.

For just a second he was open, so I took the opportunity to try to land a high kick into his upper torso. At the last second the fox managed to guard himself from my attack, but created some space to regain his balance.

Wasting no time, I launched into another attack at the same time he stole my idea. For several seconds we read each other's attack and mirrored it. When I tried to spin around him and land a blow with my elbow, he did the same thing on my opposite side. When he tried to squeeze in a snap kick, I gave myself just enough room to bring my other leg up to block his. An arm would have probably been a better idea, but I was having too much to think of all the technicalities. I suppose I was slipping more and more out of Wado ryu and using more Kuronue-fu than anything.

Bet Sensei'll love that. Not.

At some point our fight dragged on from the small mat we were on to basically the entire gym. Not that anyone minded, within minutes of our sparring match, most of the students had gathered around to watch. So, yeah. We had the entire gym to ourselves which was great as far as space went, but not so great as far as misplaced equipment went. So focused on the match was I, that a few loose coils of forgotten rope escaped my sight.

I think you can guess what happened next.

FUCKING ROPE!

I may have taken a nasty tumble to the floor after the sorry excuse for string practically attached itself magnetically onto my ankle, but wasn't about to let that stop me. I've had worse…I live with Iro.

For an instant, Kurama seemed to let up on his attack. I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't want to take a cheap shot at me or if the struggle to laugh at me was too great. Either way I tried to use this to my advantage by kicking my entangled leg out at him to snag him in the rope as well.

This would have worked had the fox not jumped backwards and caught the rope instead. My eyes widened for a second as I read his movements and quickly ripped the rope off of myself as the redhead yanked it toward him. Close call.

Kurama dropped the rope he was holding and sank into a defensive stance. My muscles tensed as I prepared my next attack. This would be the determining factor in our little match. The next move we pulled would decide who would walk away the victor. Our eyes met, faces set in determination annnnnd…..the freaking bell rang.

"What the—?" I complained, momentarily forgetting where I was.

Additional groans and shouts of disappointment rang out around us. Guess the rest of the class forgot we were at school too. Feh, stupid time limits. Of all the times for the bell to ring.

The teachers tried to regain control of the near mutinous classes (one by clapping his hands together, the other by threatening bodily harm) and sent us all back to the locker room, heads hung low. Kurama patted me on the back and thanked me for the match, but I was only able to mutter a halfway decent response back with all the fun instantly sucked out of my day. It was like being stuck in the same room as the Badger. Or a dementor. Same thing.

I continued to sulk as I practically dragged my feet towards my locker, ignoring my fellow classmates congratulate me on the match and bitch about the bell. Mentally, I agreed with them, but that stupid bell had caught me off guard and simultaneously drained all the joy out of the best fight I had since becoming Kuroji.

Slowly, I opened my locker and my eyes lit up with a different kind of emotion. Not anger or excitement or even anger…

Resting on top of my hastily stashed away uniform was a very familiar looking red flower.

-**END: Chap. 18**

**::A/N::**

Neko: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I just had to do it. Somewhere, somehow, someway mention the fucking rope. It was a necessity.

Kuro: As long as I don't somehow end up turning into an Irish vigilante, become Kurama's brother, and tote around a pair of twin, no kick-back Desert Eagles.

Neko: …Which would be awesome!

Kuro: _(sarcastic)_ Sure it would…especially in a fic about school, petty fights with tree-rats over dessert food, and mysterious flowers. I'm sure it'll fit right in….NOT.

Neko: And then you would drop a toilet on Kuwabara from a third story floor.

Kuro: _(blinks)_ Ok, that might actually fit in.

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**Hidoi** (Jap.) "Terrible" or "Horrible" I've been waiting forever to make the Dr. Horrible reference! XD

**Shoujo** (Jap.) "Girl" or "girly" in this case.

**Manju** (Jap.) "Steamed Cake" Often has anko (sweet red bean) as filling. Just writing about it makes me want one…

**Ohayashi** (Jap.) "Small Forest"


	19. Chapter 19

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: School is over and I've rewatched Boondock Saints I and II more than I should probably admit since then, so you get an update. See? It all makes sense.

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Neko: Thanks for the positive support again from everyone. I wasn't sure how the last chapter would go over since it was more action action-based than the others, so I was glad you guys seemed to like it. If there's ever a particular style you guys like better (focusing on action, comedy, mystery, etc.) let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Kuro: I can't believe you cut off my freaking fight! I thought you liked battle scenes!

Neko: Yeah, well, I was running out of pages. Sorry about that. And yeah, **Angel of the Midnight Sea**, a part of me wanted Hiei to jump in too, but I couldn't find a way to make it work. Which was sad.

Kuro: Whatever. I would've won anyway.

Neko: Some say that, some say otherwise. My money was on the rope.

Kuro: Who the hell thought I wouldn't win? _(reads list)_ What?

Neko: Like I said, some say otherwise. I think it would probably be pretty close in an all-out fight, though.

Kuro: Screw that! _(throws list)_ Living with Iro is way more dangerous than anything Kurama's ever faced as a Spirit Detective! **Chaos Dragon-Fox** is probably right! That damned rope was just another assassination plot of Iro's!

Neko: You do realize he's restricted to your house, right?

Kuro: Just start the damned fic!

OoOoOoOoOoO

In the last episode _Time-Space Super Dimension Crosser Kuronue_, our hero battled his way through the legions of hell to have a showdown with his childhood rival over who was the true King of Thieves! Despite a valiant effort on the part of our hero, his battle was interrupted once more by a more powerful destiny called the Tokyo School District. It warned the two warriors to put their swords away and prepare for an even greater force…Period 7.

If my life was an anime, it would probably go something like that.

Now where was I? Ah, yes – staring at a familiar-looking flower that had mysteriously made its way into my gym locker. I was in the process of debating stalkers versus aliens when several of my classmates made their way over to me. Not wanting to explain why I was keeping flowers in my locker, I quickly shoved it into my school bag. Could always show it to Kurama later.

"Akatsuki!" cried the first one.

"That was fucking awesome out there!" shouted the second.

"I've been training with Minamino since middle school and nobody's even come close to putting up the fight you did!" the third one agreed. I didn't recognize him, so I assumed he was in Kurama's class.

"Like I said, we knew each other for years," I shrugged casually. "Plenty of time to spar."

And run from carnivorous plants…and wake up tied to the side of your four story hideout in vines…and discover the various ways to enrage a sleeping kitsune…I could probably write a freaking book about that last one.

"Dude! I can't wait to see the rematch!"

"Yeah, you won't run outta time then."

"Nobody else'll even want to spar!" the first guy laughed. "We'll all wanna watch you guys kick the crap outta each other instead!"

"I aim to please," I grinned.

They congratulated me again and were on their way to the last class of the day. Where I should probably start heading to, as well. Kobayashi was never one to care much about tardy students, but I'd just hate to miss a minute of his 'Putting the Man in His Place' lectures. Riiiiight.

To prepare myself for that upcoming battle, I tried to push the idea of the mysterious little windflower in my locker to the back of my head. I didn't have time to ponder the meaning of gardens sprouting in my locker, I had stick figures to draw!

I wonder what life would be like if I wasn't so easily distracted…

Passing the vertigo-inducing look of Fishface's latest posters by the office, I once again fought the urge to summon my sythes and take 'em to the walls. How the staff let him hang that crap all over the main office was beyond me. If I had to work in that dreary room all day long, the last thing I would want to see would be Kaito's ugly face staring at me from ten different directions, all but demanding others to vote him into presidency. People like him don't deserve the power to rule over the student body…people like him can't even tell what colors don't induce motion sickness when thrown together.

I peeked inside one of the non-postered up windows and saw the secretary making a call on the office phone. Probably calling for back-up. One poster was enough for her fragile little mind.

This gave me another one of my brilliant political schemes, er, plans. I made a beeline for the office doors and put on my best smile. Sparkles included at no extra charge.

"Mr. Akatsuki," the young secretary greeted me cheerfully. Although I'd suspect she'd be happy to see Jack the Ripper after being stuck in this place all day long. "I heard you were running for Student Council President. How can I help you today?"

"Oh, nothing much," I spoke casually, a lie waiting on the tip of my tongue. "I just came to update my contact information."

"Your contact information?" She asked.

"Yeah, I meant to earlier, but ran out of time," I laughed, scratching my head. "Sorry to bother you so late in the day."

"Oh, it's no bother at all!" the secretary beamed, standing up. "Let me go get them from the file cabinet in the back and I'll be right back."

I nodded gratefully as she tottered on down the hallway in the back. When I couldn't hear the clicking of her heels anymore, I checked the blind spots around me. With the posters covering the windows, there really weren't all that many. Quickly I leapt behind the secretary's desk and began digging for what I had actually come for.

Within moments I found it. I picked up a copy of 'The Official Meiou High School Club Reference Book.' A large packet bound together containing the phone numbers and contact info for all of the clubs on campus. With this at my disposal, making minions would be a cake walk. A tasty cake walk.

Before I could get too in depth with my cake fantasies however, I heard the familiar clicking of the secretary's shoes and jumped back over the counter. Pocketed some of that candy she had stashed away back there too; not like she'll be needing it. As happy employee came back to the main room, I carefully slipped the reference book inside my bag and took out a notebook instead.

"I found your files," smiled the secretary, oblivious to my master schem—_Campaign Plan_. "What is it that you would like to change?"

"My mother's cell number…just let me find the new one…" I pretended to fiddle with my Novel Studies notebook. "It's…555-867-5309."

The secretary nodded as she recorded this. I shut my notebook from the page that read something along the lines of 'Support Your Local Fisheries, FRY the Fishboy!' It had been a political slogan I had been working on, but Kurama rejected it on ethical grounds. Pfft. Whatever.

"Alright, Akatsuki, you should be good to go," the secretary smiled once again. "Here's a pass for your next class. I don't think you'll be making it on time.

As if on cue, the bell rang.

"Thanks a lot," I replied, taking the pass.

I stepped out of the office and continued on my way. The number I had given her was real, but it was for Hazuki's work number, not her cell number. This worked out well for me, in the unlikely event that I was caught being naughty and had to have my mother called. Hazuki never has the time to take calls at work from what she's told us.

Now that my latest spontaneous mission was complete, I patted my bag of stolen goodies and headed off to art class. See? Easily distracted…but I'm better off that way.

OoOoOoOoOoO

In class, I sat at the usual secluded table (even more secluded today given the fact that my only table buddy was absent). I paged through the reference book and made note of each club I thought would be useful on the road to defeating the evil fish that threatens us all. And if anyone asks, I was just too deeply moved by Kobayashi-sensei's beautiful speech about suppressing creativity in our generation to look up without crying.

The book was alphabetical, which made things a bit easier. My first call would have to go to the Art Club. I'd bet dollars and donuts that they could come up with something slightly better than what Fishy's got plastered up all over the school. They might even be able to advertise the new uniform design, since that's one of my main selling points.

On that note, I quickly flipped ahead to the Fashion Club and bookmarked that page. I may be good at figuring out what I look good in (i.e. anything but the current uniform I had on) but designing something to be that good is a different story. My stick figures might be cute, but they lose points when it comes to detail. Hopefully the Fashion Club could come up with a new uniform that everyone would like. And hell, based on what we currently have, it's not like they could do any worse.

Finally I marked off the Multimedia Club followed closely by the Newspaper Club. Both would be good for getting a little advertisement for the Koumori Party. Maybe I could even do a commercial. Then I'd be a star, baby.

While I was mentally outweighing the usefulness of a political commercial to the lameness of being 'famous' on Meiou TV, That Guy Who Draws Weapons entered the room and took his seat across from me. Kobayashi didn't seem to notice and he sure as hell didn't pause his lecture; not while he was getting to the good part.

"What's up?" I asked my tablemate in a hushed voice.

"Principal's Office," he answered. "They thought I was drawing threats against the school again…"

"This happens often?"

"Only in English."

"Ah."

"Hey, I drew another picture for your campaign…"

"Really?" I asked, caught off guard. "Let's see it."

"Well, my sister helped me draw the people," That Guy added, digging the paper out of his bag. "She has a crush on Minamino…"

_Don't they all? _

"Anyway, here it is," said my tablemate, presenting me with a pencil sketch on white paper.

For a moment all I could do was stare at it. Then I looked at That Guy. Then I looked at the poster sketch again, mentally checking that my jaw hadn't gone dropped.

"Uh, what do you think?" the budding artist asked nervously.

Again I stared at him for a moment.

"Not even Solid Snake has ever looked that good!" I struggled to keep my voice down.

But I had good reason. The drawing really did look like something out of a Metal Gear Solid game. In the sketch, Kurama and I were standing back to back, tricked out with amazing weaponry. I had an additional gun poised in my hand and Kurama was saluting something (probably the pile of burning maroon monstrosities that we would no longer have to wear). All it had written on it was the word 'VOTE' but that was all it needed.

It was epic. Somebody get Hideo Kojima on the line!

"My sister is in the Art Club and she drew you and Minamino. I drew the weapons."

I knew I was right about the Art Club.

"Are you in the Art Club too?" I asked.

"No, I just like to draw weapons," laughed Da Vinci Number 2. "They don't really…go…for that sort of thing there."

"Either way, this is amazing!" I felt like such a fangirl. "Can I keep it? I gotta show Kurama!"

"S-Sure," That Guy looked down, slightly embarrassed. I guess nobody's made such a big deal about his artwork before. Now he had me practically asking for his autograph. "Th-That'd be cool."

Art class was able to pass much more quickly today, since I was actually enjoying myself. I asked That Guy about any more sketches and ran a few ideas by him. He had agreed to help draw more stuff for some posters, although they'd have to be a little more hidden than the 'school-friendly' types, due to certain, ahem, _shitty_ rules and school board policies. Apparently guns and schools don't float with them. Laaame.

So I was able to leave the building on a very good note, and yes, in case you were wondering I did have him sign the sketch and I'm totally putting it on my wall.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Today I had to get home right away, so I only had time to show Kurama the sketch and leave. Part of this is because it took me fifteen minutes to explain how inspiring and beautiful heavy artillery is to a Student Council campaign. It took me another ten to explain the different ways we could incorporate the Metal Gear series into our opening statements.

Kurama gave me that look he gives fangirls when they have their backs turned and just nodded his head.

"What's your problem, man?" I exclaimed. "This is important! I have to triumph where Big Boss failed!"

The fox just blinked then laughed.

"Sorry, it's just…" he paused. "Well, no one has ever gone so all-out and gotten this excited over this competition before."

"Really?" I sweatdropped.

"No, no, it's a good thing," my friend laughed again. "It shows how dedicated you are."

"Oh, I'll show you all-out! I'll show you dedicated!" I grinned. "Just you wait, Kitsune! You won't even recognize this school by Monday! Later!"

And with that, I charged off, faintly hearing Kurama saying something along the lines of 'At least you're enthusiastic.'

Heh, heh. He has no idea.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Crossing the corner on my block, I noticed that the little old man in the big blue house was out again, terrorizing whoever dared step on his lawn. He was just playing up the rickety old geezer on the rocking chair card. I know these things.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he asked me. "That damned dog from hell after you again?"

I could only assume he was referring to Fifi, pride and joy of the entire neighborhood. Bringing pride to the Orange Beast; and joy to everyone else imagining a ten ton semi going down the road at just the right time. Not really thinking about it, I answered him.

"Screw Fishboy! I'm gonna win this Student Council President shit!"

It was then the old man's turn to surprise me by wishing me good luck. This stopped me in my tracks. Was this really the same guy who harassed me a few weeks back about not applying myself and being patient?

Could aliens have invaded us after all?

"C-Could you repeat that?" I finally asked, confused out of my mind.

"I said, good luck, boy!" he guffawed back at me. "What, are you starting to lose your hearing already? I thought memory was the first thing to go!"

Nope, he's fine. Or at least he is until I call the Senior Center on him.

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically, but actually meant it. A small part of it.

"About time you start showing some leadership skills," the geezer half-chided me. "The way you act outside the house reflects how you act inside it!"

"Come again?"

"You got a coupla younger siblings, right?" he asked. "You're the oldest, so it's your job to help your mother out with them. Parents always rely on their oldest child to help out with the little ones that come after."

This has been another touching session of _Bizarre Life Lessons on Tanuki Lane_, brought to you by a crazy old man with way too much time on his hands.

"I'll be sure to do that," I sighed, waving my hand over my shoulder as I continued towards my home. At least this time he wasn't responding to my inner dialog.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Back at my house, I was in the process of retreating to my room. No annoying Hazukis or Hiros to interfere. Must be at work or getting into trouble with the law. Hana was curled up on the couch watching her girly talk show with the guy that wears all together too much pink to be considered masculine. More importantly, the lizard from the darkest circles of hell was curled up on her. Hana was so entranced by the TV, that she didn't even hear me come in. Iro on the other hand…

I could hear a low growl/hiss/I Hate Your Face threat rumbling from my little sister's lap. Hana probably didn't hear it herself because Iro was using a demonic frequency that only youkai could pick up. Yet another sign of a Demon Lord in the making. Raizen and the others better watch themselves.

Pausing on the stairwell, I took a moment to bask in my glory. The lizard was trapped in his master's lap, unable to attack me openly without giving his true evil identity away. Meanwhile, I was free to do the mature thing and make childish faces at him to mock his position. It was a good time.

After I risked staying just long enough to leave before a commercial break, I took the stairs two at a time to get to my room. No, I wasn't running away from Lucifer's bastard child, I was just really excited to get started on this campaign stuff. I crashed on my bed and quickly flipped open to the first page I had marked. Time to make the first call.

I punched in the number for the Broadcasting Club (the Art Club only had an email address to contact them by) and waited on my end while the phone buzzed.

"Yeeees?" a half strangled sounding voice came from the other line.

"Uh, hi," I managed to stutter, a little taken aback. "This is Akatsuki Kuroji calling about—"

"Akatsuki Kuroji?" shrieked the creepy voice in some form of excitement. "The Master had told me about you! Just now he predicted that you would be contacting us soon!"

"The…Master?" I asked, even more confused. "Is this the number for the Meiou Broadcasting Club?"

"Nooooo…" giggled the voice in a way that sounded like they were either pure evil or snorting pure sugar cane. "This is Midnight from the Meiou Black Magic Club! It is a pleasure to speak with you; we have much to talk about. Would you be interested in candles, curses, voodoo dolls, or capes?"

"Sorry! Wrong number," I laughed nervously and hung up.

I looked down at the reference book again and saw where I had been led astray. Apparently, someone else had marked the club's phone number (which was right above where I marked the Broadcasting Club's number). It was probably done either for disciplinary measures or some type of a poser violation. I'm sure the 'Black Magic' they practice here is completely different from the hair-raising kind on Makai, but better safe than sorry. This 'Midnight' person had the voice down.

Best block that number from my phone for the time being.

And so, I spent the remainder of my Friday afternoon calling and emailing several clubs to join my cause and destroy Kaito before that guppy became a whale. Because, you can mess with guppies and have fun feeding them into sharks and the like, but once they became whales, you can't do much other than watch them from a distance and call them fat. 'Course then they'll just try to bodycheck your boat, but that's another biology lesson for another day.

Fascinating fish tangents aside, several of the clubs responded right away and were more than willing to help. The Fashion Club was so raring to go, that they promised me drafts for new uniforms by tomorrow afternoon. Clearly they are bored out of their minds or have been eagerly awaiting the day to accessorize uniforms that didn't make you feel like a part of the circus. Others were unsure at the moment, but would contact me again after they properly voted on it. Weak.

Not long after that, Hazuki came home carrying two big bags that smelled of Chinese deliciousness. The scent was so powerful that I could smell it from my room on the second floor. Either that or I have an internal radar for Chinese food…or all food in general. Either way, I was all too happy to help take them from her, she was all too happy to threaten to snap both my hands in half if I took another step towards my room with them.

Busted!

"So how was school today, Kuroji-chan?"

"Awesome as usual," I grinned, setting the bags on the kitchen table and keeping my hands out of Hazuki's reach…just in case. "I'm one step closer to sending that mutant Fishboy back to the radioactive pond he emerged from."

"That's nice dear," beamed my human mother. "But I asked about your school day, not your recent trip to the insane asylum."

If this isn't a shining example of a perfect mother-son bond, I don't know what is.

"Fine," I huffed. "Today I actually turned into a giant 40 foot monster, smashed my school to little pieces, sat on my vice-principal's shiny new car, and told Godzilla what I really thought of his last couple of movies."

"Good for you, dear."

"Oh, and I also got some people together to help me run for Student Council President."

"What'd ya do that for?"

"Thanks Mom, it helps to know you're always there for me."

"I'm just surprised you're being productive for a change!" she laughed, patting my head in that way only mothers can get away with. "Are you sure you're really my Kuroji?"

"Being productive for a change?" I exclaimed. "I got my freaking black belt by the age of 10! How is that not productive?"

"You had a good teacher," Hazuki laughed again, gesturing to herself.

Not being able to retort without her offering to bash my face into my food, I just sat down and started shoving food onto my plate while she called for the twins. I couldn't help it. I was worried about the food.

"And hurry up, you two!" called Hazuki to the rest of her offspring that did not contain the soul of a demon deep inside them. "Your big brother's attempting to be productive! The stress will probably make him even hungrier!"

_Thanks, Mom._

OoOoOoOoOoO

All in all, I'd say it was a successful day. Stole some stuff, scored some minions, prepared to educate Fishy on what 'curb-stomped' means…man, what _didn't_ I do today?

Then I remembered.

The flower I found in my locker! Shit...might've been a good idea to show that to Kurama earlier.

Oh, well. I may be forgetful at times, but I'm also an uber-buff youkai that could kick the ever-living crap of just about anybody who cares to remind me of that. And hey, at least I'm consistent.

-**END: Chap. 18**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Meh…not my bestest ever, but it was required for the plot (?), provided that still exists.

Kuro: _(sarcastically)_ How inspiring, coming from the author.

Neko: Keep that up and the next chapter will center around Bats in Tutus. _(coughs)_ Thanks again to everyone who have been reading and encouraging me to keep up with this fic. I really appreciate the feedback and am still amazed so many of you are cool with my random attempt at Kuro's character. Thanks again! Next time will either star Kuro discovering how the mysterious flower appeared in his gym locker or star him prancing around in a frilly pink tutu!

Kuro: I'd like to see you try, Cat!

Neko: _(holds up sketchbook menacingly)_

Kuro: _(sweatdrops)_…Or not.

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a small child or a girl. Hazuki uses it with Kuro as a joke.


	20. Chapter 20

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: It sure does help writing the fun chapters over the filler chapters.

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Neko: Thank you again everybody for your support! And happy belated b-day to **White Rose Fox**! Guess I picked a good day to update chapter 19. First off, I better address **Death101 – Fox Version**, because I could spend the rest of this chapter going off that.

Kuro: Please don't.

Neko: _(ignores)_ You brought up a good point about the Kurama vs. Evil Dude That Looked Like Kuronue fight, but I was still unsure if that was the style Kuro actually used or the style the Evil Dude used. I did use it as a reference, though.

Kuro: Bah. I'd still win.

Neko: I'd rather not see you piss off Kurama so much that he skewers the real you with a forest of bamboo shoots.

Kuro: Meh.

Neko: And I've decided to limit myself on the topic of who's creepier: Karasu or Iro? This is because I don't have enough synonyms for "Shoot You In The Fucking Head" for that mentally challenged crow. The utter contempt I hold him in doesn't even stem from my roots as a Kurama fan; I just hate his character and wanted him to die…So thanks, Kurama.

Kuro: _(blinks)_ Wow.

Neko: Yeah. Kuro's reaction to watching the Dark Tournie DVDs in chapter 16 was definitely my Neko voice overpowering my author voice. But anyway…Kuro has not met Jin or Chu, but I will enjoy writing that if I can fit it in; and yes, he has met Yusuke.

Kuro: That's the one Botan calls "Yun-Yun" right?

Neko: Correct. Oh, and the new Meiou uniform draft actually appears in this chapter (at least, on a poster), but in case the description doesn't work for you, check out the manga Imadoki (Nowadays) by Yuu Watase. Ironically the high school featured in that series is also called Meio. The only difference is I chose to replace all the brown areas in the Imadoki uniforms with dark red for the Anemone version. But enough rambling…on with the fic!

OoOoOoOoOoO

"That's amazing, Kuronue…" said the fox with raised eyebrows. "I never thought I'd say this, but you were right. I almost wasn't able to recognize the school."

"I can't tell if that was a compliment or a jab at my procrastinating skills."

"Both."

"Thanks, Kurama," I sweatdropped. "You're a true friend."

It had taken me the better part of my weekend and even cost me some precious video game time, but the results on Monday were worth it. As Kurama and I walked into the school building, we could see how successful the minions were.

The Fashion Club was true to their word and came up with a design for new uniforms by Saturday. Even I had to admit it was pretty cool-looking. The majority of the uniform was black with red sections in the center and gold trim. They even added the school crest embroidered on the upper left sleeve of each uniform.

Once those were approved, I forwarded the design to the Art Club and Newspaper Club. The Art Club used this model in several of the posters and fliers they came up with and the Newspaper Club was currently in the process of using it in an article that would be published later this afternoon.

As it was, members of the Art Club and other supporters were handing out small fliers with images they made and a list of reasons to vote for me and Kurama, created by yours truly. The posters were already hung on Sunday when I, ahem, let myself into the building after the janitor had left. Life was good.

"Why are all of those members from the Black Magic Club headed this way?" my friend asked me as I slowly came back to Earth from the magical world of Kuronue's La La Land.

"W-What?" I asked him, looking around.

He was right. A group of four BMC creepies decked out in their little scarves and everything were coming for us. I was glad to see that Kuroji (their freakshow club president with the same name as me) was not with them, though. Thank Inari for small favors.

"Time to go!" I laughed nervously, dragging Kurama in the opposite direction, towards our classroom.

"Any particular reason we're running away?" the former Youko asked with a flash of gold in his eyes. "You didn't make any more enemies did you?"

"Just the opposite, actually," I sweatdropped again. "I think I made some friends when I accidently called their number in the reference book…"

"Good job."

"Sarcasm isn't going to get us out of this mess, kitsune."

"And what is?"

"I was thinking sunlight, crucifixes, and garlic."

OoOoOoOoOoO

It was unfortunate that we had to flee to the more crowded locker area to avoid a witch trial with the creepy Kuroji's cronies, but at least I was finally able to get around to showing the flower that was left in my gym locker to Kurama. That had been nagging at the back of my mind for the entire weekend, but the draw of beating the Fishboy had been stronger. I guess it helped that I didn't sense anything off about that flower either.

"So, somebody left you a beat-up, half-dead flower on Friday?" the redhead asked, while looking over what remained of the red flower in my hand.

"Compliments of my packback," I explained. "It's the same one, right? Just like at the park."

"At this point, all I could tell you is that it's a flower of some kind that was probably red at some point…" he said. "The compliments of your backpack did a good job overpowering its scent too."

"Well you're helpful."

Kurama just raised an eyebrow at me.

"Jokes…?" I laughed nervously again. Boy, somebody was really in touch with their inner demon today. "Ok, I'm sorry! It just kinda freaked me out, is all. Probably just some kind of coincidence.

I opened my locker to put my flower-eating bag away, and a letter fell out.

"Not again," I complained. "Crazy fangirls…"

Still, I slid the envelope open and read the letter quickly in case the girl was watching from afar. As annoying as these things can be, I just don't have the heart to completely crush a young girl's heart by throwing it away or not acknowledge it at all. But before I could curse my conscience yet again, I actually started paying attention to the contents of the letter. I blinked, reread it, and handed it to Kurama, who read it softly to himself.

_How did you like your little present yesterday? The color made me think of our passionate love. I've been watching you, my love. Soon you'll be mine_.

"That's a little…direct."

"That's a little stalkerish!" I exclaimed. "What the hell?"

"Do all your fangirls send you flowers and propositions or is this just a special occasion?" smirked my former comrade.

"Shut up! This is just creepy!" I cringed. "I'm used to giggles and nervous love letters, not stalkers and threats!"

Not wanting to feel so exposed, I started off to homeroom with a chuckling fox not far behind. I had wanted to go there so my new over-obsessive fangirl wouldn't be able to watch me as well without me knowing, but it turned out that didn't help any.

On my desk was another flower and letter.

_I'm still watching you, my love. I didn't have the chance to put a flower in your locker, so I left you the symbol of our love here. Do not worry, soon enough I will give them to you in person. Does that excite you?_

All I remember after that was getting very, very pale.

Kurama, who had been reading over my shoulder, simply reached for the flower and patted my back.

"No comment."

"Excite me? _Excite_ me? That horrifies me!" I nearly yelled. "This chick makes Fishface look like an emotionally stable human being!"

"Is this the same flower they left you before?" Kurama asked, ignoring my rants.

By now I had my head on my desk, so I looked up.

"Huh? Yeah, I think so."

Kurama examined it again for a moment.

"Like the anemone at the park, it's from the same family as the buttercup, but still isn't quite the same thing."

I just looked at him blankly, waiting for him to start speaking a language I understood.

"A very passionate color, too," he grinned.

"I am going to kill you," I threatened, frown deepening.

"Before or after your new stalker friend steals you away?"

"As if any human could _'steal me away!'_ That's impossible!"

"But they sure have you rattled."

"I am not 'rattled' either!" I defended myself. "I was just creeped out by the flower, but it's not the same, so it's over! Just a weird coincidence!"

Once again ignoring me, the sly redhead went back to examining the letter.

"I like the font they used," he smirked. "Very intimidating. Hard to track too, since it's typed and perfumed. Could be anybody."

"And you are not helping."

"I would have still stuck to the cut out magazine letters," the thief chuckled to himself. "Much more classy."

"That would be more serial killer than classy, fox!" I corrected him. "You're still not helping!"

No time to further threaten my kitsune friend, as the bell rang and people filed in. Where were they earlier when the creep-o with the flower was in here? What I wouldn't give for a witness…

After I caught Kurama grinning at my obvious discomfort, I tried not to let myself become even more unnerved by a couple of cheap flowers and stupid letters. Not like I had anything serious to worry about; I could handle any human in this building. Probably just somebody trying to freak me out.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I had hoped today would start to go better, and for a few brief periods of stalker-free peace, it did.

AP English was spent re-learning how to give directions, different modes of transportation, and mentally laughing at sulking fishies who know when they've been beat. It was quiet (especially with my so called rival emo'ing in the dark corner), easy, and almost relaxing.

Bio was a little less peaceful because my red-haired friend was there to make indirect comments about weirdos watching me, but he only got a couple jokes in before a girl in class suddenly developed a case of amnesia and needed his help with _everything_ on her review paper. Normally, I'd complain because that's one of the most unbearable types of rabid fangirl, but today I let it slide. Revenge for all those stalker jokes.

But then of course, my life, the walking cliché, went from good to paranoid hell again.

It was already at the hell point by the end of Period 4 because I had just finished Business Ed. and was late to lunch…again. Cursing that pill-popping badger of a teacher's inability to tell time, I made a quick pit stop at my locker to drop my stuff off. By then I was unsurprised to see a new letter.

_I remember when I first saw you at the park, my love. The sweat glistening off your body as you ran past me. You make me sweaty just thinking about it. Does that make you hot?_

"That makes me ill," I said out loud, to no one in particular.

And thus we went from 'Hell' to 'Paranoid Hell' because stalkers just have that effect on me.

Although I wasn't thrilled with the aspect of giving Kurama more material to tease me about, I decided it was worth showing him since it mentions the park where I found the trippy anemone and bizarre dreams. I was now a little unsure if it really was just another coincidence or not.

Paranoia, paranoia…everybody's trying to get me…

OoOoOoOoOoO

On my way to meet Kurama at our usual spot, I saw that he wasn't as lucky at escaping today. Itchweed had cornered him and was talking to him obnoxiously, twirling her hair on a finger. I've never understood this habit. For all the time some girls spend making their hair pretty, doesn't messing with it like that kind of defeat the purpose? Itchweed suddenly giggled very loudly and her victim looked like he would take being deaf over listening to another one of those cackles. Naturally, I got closer to hear/interrupt.

"I reeeeeally think you should reconsider helping that Akatsuki creature out, Shuiichi-kun," the hair-twirling maniac advised in a voice she probably thought was cute in a fluffy bunny kind of way, but the rest of the world interpreted as whiny in a kicked puppy kind of way.

"And why's that, Ichizassou?" Kurama asked neutrally.

"Well, I mean, just look at him. He's definitely not president potential!" Itchweed scoffed. I bet he couldn't even _spell_ 'responsibility' much less practice it! We'd all be better off if Kaito won!"

R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y, you cold-hearted bitch.

"What makes you think that?" my friend asked her.

"Oh, come on!" she laughed shrilly. "With Kaito elected President, you elected Vice-President, and me elected Secretary, we'd have the best Student Council this school has ever seen!"

I didn't know who the other contender for secretary was, but they instantly had my vote.

"Well, I appreciate your concern for the school, but I am still going to support Kuroji," Kurama said with a charming, sparkling smile. "He may not demonstrate a lot of presidential qualities to you, but still has many good leadership qualities."

'That's right, Kurama!' I mentally cheered my friend on. 'You tell that evil Fish-hugger about the time I organized half our guild to steal Ringo's prized strappy sandals! Then ask her if she's feeling lucky!'

" But Shuiichi-kuuuuun!" Little Miss Lookit Me whined. "Think about it! We could be the dream team!"

_In_ your dreams….No, wait. Let's not go there.

"Sorry, Ichizassou, but I'm still going to stand by my friend," Kurama continued with his gentlemanly smile.

As she continued her pouting, I decided to make myself known.

"Well if it isn't my best friend in the entire world and a common leech!" I exclaimed in mock surprise, waltzing over to them with my lunch tray. "Destroy any fun gardens lately, Itchweed?"

"How dare you!" the snooty girl replied. "I can't wait for Kaito to beat you in the competition and put you in your place!"

"Ah…about that," I sighed sadly. "You see, he really stands no chance at beating me, now that I have my secret weapon…"

"And what's that?" Itchweed asked sourly.

"That thing over there…" I pointed behind her, fully aware that it was the oldest trick in the book.

Unsurprisingly Itchweed looked anyways.

"What? What is it? I don't see anything!" she huffed, but by the time she turned back around the future VP and I had escaped using our unnatural speed.

Damn, it's good to be a Demon.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Lunchtime…where the entire period's level of relaxation depends on the total population of tree-rats lingering around the area. Also affected by this uncommonly annoying sub-species is my stress level and the probability of chopsticks exploding in my face.

Today was already one of those days, so it continued on being so. Example 1: The miso soup had too much salt in it. Example 2: Kurama had forgotten to pack the dessert portion of his lunch for me, er, himself. Example 3: That bug-eyed, pointy-haired, pyromaniac with an attitude for two was lying in wait on his tree perch. Hurray.

"You can relax," I told him. "Kurama didn't put anything sweet in his lunch today, so the contents of his bento box are safe from me."

"Hn."

"No need for such complex conversational pieces."

"Kuronue…" the fox spoke in a warning tone.

We seriously could have been playing house because at that moment, the tree-rat smirked like the bratty little brother that got his big brother in trouble. I fit my role by huffing, sitting down, and starting my lunch with a frown. This soon changed to a grimace as soon as I realized I just compared the tree-rat and I to siblings. That is one guy I would never want to be related to. Lucky for both of us, he looked like an only child. Not that I care, time to get down to business.

"Hey, Kurama," I asked, digging the latest letter out of my pocket. "Three times the charm. What do you make of this one?"

The former thief's eyes skimmed across the page and he barely contained his laughter. Brat.

"I suggest taking a towel next time."

"Funny, fox. Very funny."

"Alright, alright," he grinned, trying to cover up the last of his chuckles. "How many other parks have you been to besides the one with the anemone?"

"None."

"So the park's the same," he nodded. "Was there ever anyone suspicious there?"

I could tell he held back a crack about any glowy eyes in the bushes.

"Not that I can think of," I sighed. "Just the usual joggers, dog-walkers, and visitors…"

"What's going on, fox?" asked the shadows above us in the tree.

"Just a little incident at school," Kurama laughed. "Nothing to be too concerned about."

"Yeah, and it's none of your business anyway!" I added. Hey, if Frog Muffin got to act like a child, why couldn't I?

This got his attention though. Dork probably thought I was causing problems for Kurama at school. Feh, when have I ever done that….today?

The little shadow beast flitted down and landed beside me.

"What did you do?" he growled.

"Since when do you care about what I do?"

"You can either tell me or I can make you tell me…" threatened the tree-rat, removing the bandana that covered his third eye.

I felt the initial wave of youki flow over me, and put every last ounce of mental energy up to shield myself. Any barrier was better than no barrier at all. I had no real desire to get mind-fucked today by somebody half my size either. No means no, dammit! With one last struggle against shorty's little magic eye, I reached out to the dark corners of my brain to attack his second sight with my own haunting memories.

The tree-rat staggered for a minute and I knew that my plan had been a success. He was now seeing the image I forced to the top of my thoughts. In pain, he clutched the side of his head and shook it slowly. Quickly, he retracted his invasion of my personal thoughts and put his bandana back over his Jagan.

"What the hell was that?" snarled the very angry tree-rat.

"What the hell was what?" I asked innocently.

"That…monstrosity going on inside your tiny brain!" he continued to shout. "It was like a thousand hells colliding at once!"

"Not a fan of the Caramell Dansen, eh?" I grinned.

He just clutched his head in sheer agony. Which was understandable, considering that even the mightiest otaku of them all fail to get that catchy little song out of their heads. Especially with it's cutsy dance moves and…dammit. Now it's stuck in my head! I don't even speak Swedish!

The Good News: Frog Muffin was no longer trying to peer into my innermost thoughts.

The Bad News: I failed to get CaramellDansen out of my head with the equally catchy Numa Numa song, and now had them both looping on the iPod called my brain. Also, I still had a stalker.

Lunch was pretty uneventful from there, with Kurama trying to figure out more clues to lead us to the identity of the fangirl with way too much free time and flowers, while me and the shadow beast in the tree struggling against the memes that refused to leave us alone.

This must be what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder feels like.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Novel Study and even Karate was a blur of O-O-Owah-Owah'ing for me until I got to Art where I blasted the most hardcore heavy metal I had on my iPod during Kobayashi's daily preaching. That did the trick and I returned to my doodles.

Typically on days that the little tree-rat pisses me off, I work on my _Hero vs. Tree-Rat_ series. It's a lot like the struggles between Good and Evil only with stick figures and scribble lines. The Hero represents all that is fair and righteous in the world and the Tree-Rat represents…well, Hiei. I always draw the Hero with a sword and helmet while I draw the Tree-Rat as a spiky squirrel with its tail on fire. He has been mistaken for a Pokemon more than a few times.

Not that I care. The model for this Tree-Rat could be Pikachu's BFF for all I knew.

Following his riveting tale of the time he stood up to The Man by refusing to fetch the former principal of the building a coffee, Kobayashi-sensei walked around to see how all his budding artists were doing. I've noticed that he always seemed to save the table that me and That Guy Who Draws Weapons for last, but was never really sure why. I have narrowed it down to fear and confusion though.

"Kuroji-kun," he asked me, sounding interested. "I notice that you have your hero equipped with a fire extinguisher…is there any particular reason for that?"

"Oh, well, he knows that the Demonic Tree-Rat has control over the element of fire and wants to come prepared for battle," I answered easily.

"Fascinating…" beamed Kobayashi. "Your creativity for the supernatural is absolutely fascinating, Kuroji-kun!"

"Uh, thanks," I responded. "Mom usually tells me I just play too many video games."

That Guy snickered across from me, but continued working on his sketch of a modified javelin. Our teacher on the other hand, covered his mouth and struggled to hold back tears.

"That's horrible!" he croaked. "Your own parents trying to hold you back! You could have been the next Da Vinci! The next Picasso! The next artist of the century that led us into a new revolution!"

"Um…I don't think I'm that good, sir." I sweatdropped. "I'm still rocking the stick figures, see?"

But my teacher didn't hear me and simply walked away sadly until another student cheered him up with her work. Strange guy.

OoOoOoOoOoO

As the final bell of the day released us from our prison, I took a short cut to get to my locker. Unfortunately, that same short cut led me by Fishface, who decided to be smug. No wonder I never take this way…

"You'll never guess what medium I got to help me with my campaign, Akatsuki," he sneered.

"Is it that psychic-lady on TV?" I asked, bored. "I hate to break it to you, but she's a total fake."

"I meant entertainment medium, you idiot!" He exclaimed, then took a deep breath to regain his composure. "You'll see…You might even say the pig is in the pen…"

He chuckled at his own attempt at a joke, or a threat, I'm not really sure which it was, while I just stared at him blankly.

"There's really something wrong with you, Fishman. You realize that, right?"

And with that, I walked away and pretended I was somewhere else. Like Candyland. Life's always better in Candyland. (And if for some reason it's not, all the sugar will help you forget your problems.) Besides, I had to get back to my Homeroom fast if I wanted to make it to my meeting on time. To fit the cliché, I had bigger fish to fry.

- **BONUS SIDE STORY: When Fish Have Beef With Bats (3****rd**** Person POV) -**

Sitting alone in the dark and empty chemistry lab that was serving as a campaign office was Yuu Kaito, the linguist, mouth-breather, and general Number 2 Guy on campus after his longtime rival. If not for the existence of one Shuiichi Minamino (aka Kurama, Youko) Yuu Kaito would be King of the School. At least in the area of academics, anyway.

Becoming Student Council President would be a way to pull away from the redhead's shadow and show the world (i.e. the population of Meiou High School) that Kaito could also be a bright, shining star. He knew he would enjoy taking charge of something his rival had never tried before and he knew he would enjoy distinguishing himself from that same rival, but that wasn't the real reason Kaito was running.

He really just hated Kuronue that much.

Kuronue, or Akatsuki Kuroji, as Kaito knew him, was a demon. Kaito didn't like demons (with very few exceptions). Not too long ago, demons tried to take over his hometown and they didn't end up being very friendly neighbors. The vast majority of demons he had met since his spiritual powers manifested were brash, rude, hot-headed, and foolish. They used their strength to boss others around. This did not sit well with Kaito. Anyone could tell by looking at him that he was all about brains over brawn.

The first youkai that Kaito had unofficially met was Kurama. After studying with him at the same school for years, it came as quite a shock to him when he learned that his rival could manipulate plants as well as he did complex mathematical equations. However, after losing a match of wits against that same demon, Kaito realized that Kurama was one of those few exceptions to his view of youkai. He figured that the redhead was just able to hold on to his human side after so many years of living beside them.

The second youkai that Kaito met were the demon bugs that were trying to take over his city, and as we've already established, Kaito really didn't like that.

The third youkai that Kaito met was Hiei, who fit his personal description of a demon to a T. In Kaito's opinion, Hiei was a stereotypical demon – he didn't help out others unless it benefitted him, he didn't work well with others when working with them, he never listened to his teammates, and he let his sword do the talking for him. His first encounter with Hiei at the mansion told him all of that, but he wasn't the worst demon that Kaito had ever met.

In his Junior year of high school, one Akatsuki Kuroji transferred in.

Kuroji was everything Kaito hated in a demon and more. Not only was he willing to use force to get what he wanted, he was also a womanizer. Kaito ignored the little voice in his head that mocked him at this point for never having an actual girlfriend.

Kuroji was far too wild and didn't think things through. Ever. Kaito's nose still twinged at the memory of that idiotic bat punching him in his sleep at the orientation assembly. And did the boy ever feel guilty about it? No, because he was a foolish youkai that lacked real emotions. Kuroji continued to demonstrate this over and over by tormenting Kaito every day. Kuroji was nothing but a bully. And he smelled funny too.

Then there was the fact that Kuroji actually believed he was better than Kaito at linguistics. Language was Kaito's area of expertise. He never let anyone (besides certain Youko incarnations) challenge him at that. Kuroji enrolling in several of Kaito's classes was the equivalent of challenging him to a duel. And that was unacceptable.

And the worst part of it all was that Kuroji was popular for being all of these things.

Kaito knew that he could never let someone like that run the school. He felt that he was much more suitable choice for presidency. The bookworm knew that he was superior to Kuroji in every aspect and was therefore the better choice. It didn't matter that Kaito didn't have silly things like Kuroji's charisma, stupid fliers, or a girlfriend – he had his brains, and with them he would crush Kuroji like the little bug he was…or at least that was what he told himself.

At this thought, Kaito chuckled to himself as he eagerly awaited the radio broadcast of his campaign over campus. He had used his position as a top student from a good family to pull a few strings and have the faculty broadcast another add for him over both the intercom system and the radio frequency the school had access to. It was a hassle to go over the Broadcasting Club and ask their superiors (i.e. the Vice Principal from Hell), but he didn't have time to go around asking students for help. That would be petty.

As it neared the time for his announcement to go off, Kaito tuned in the radio he had borrowed from his advisor. Soon presidency would be his…

"This time, Akatsuki…this time I'll win…"

The door creaked open and Maaya walked in. She had been running for secretary and was helping him out in exchange for some of his publicity. In this case, her name would also be mentioned in his radio broadcast. She looked a little uneasy as she entered the room.

"Kaito? What are you doing sitting by yourself in the dark?" she asked, more than a little confused.

"It doesn't matter," he replied. "What do you want?"

"Uh…you might want to turn on the TV."

"Huh?"

Before he could piece everything together, Maaya clicked on the TV and answered him.

"Akatsuki got the Broadcasting Club to help him."

An old school film countdown played out on the school's announcement channel and the commercial started with a loud, booming voice.

"_Attention Meiou High School! This is Yuu Kaito,"_ the narrarator proclaimed as an unflattering picture of Kaito was shown.

"What is this?" Kaito shouted angrily, practically jumping out of his chair.

Maaya shushed him and continued to watch the images flash across the TV.

"_He is not a master of persuasion…"_ continued the narrator as a clip of Kaito stuttering to say something was played. _"He doesn't understand the needs of other students…"_ this time several pictures of Kaito ignoring other students was shown. _"He cannot control sea creatures!"_ an altered version of Kaito and the Free Willy poster was shown following this statement.

"Ouch," winced Maaya.

"Who the hell cares about sea creatures?" Kaito shouted, unable to control his anger. "What is this?"

"_This is Kuroji Akatsuki,"_ the narrator said in a much happier tone while a photo that could only be described as 'smexy' was shown. _"He is a master of persuasion,"_ a clip was played of Kuroji talking his way out of a tardy mark. _"He understands your needs as students,"_ the narrator continued voicing over a slew of pictures involving the koumori taking requests and questions from a line of students.

After that point, the music picked up dramatically.

"_And unlike his fish-like opponent, he CAN control sea creatures!"_ the commercial finished up with a picture of a winking Kuroji holding a skewer of grilled fish with a grin. _"Vote Akatsuki and Minamino in the upcoming election!" _

Kaito was left to fume in the chemistry lab as the commercial overlapped with his own broadcast, effectively overpowering it. The volume of the school TVs were much louder than the intercom system, to the point that you'd have to be standing directly below the intercoms to even attempt to listen.

Kaito also failed to realize that he was the only one in the building that actually listened to the school's radio channel outside of class.

In a different classroom, Kuroji, Kurama, and the rest of their homeroom class celebrated. Several tagalong fans had also came to the classroom to see Kuroji themselves. One asked him what it felt like to film a commercial like that. His answer was simple.

"That was the most delicious commercial I ever made."

-**END: Chap. 18**

**::A/N::**

Kuro: Where'd that Bonus Story come from?

Neko: It's my apology to everyone who thought the stalker's identity would be revealed here. Turns out that's the next chapter. Sorry, guys!

Kuro: That's what happens when you don't consult the Great and Powerful Flashdrive.

Neko: Shut it, I was busy hijacking other people's computers and going from memory…I wasn't that far off, but I did feel bad about the couple of people who were told it was this chappie they'd meet the stalker.

Kuro: _(sarcastic)_ Yeah, I can hardly wait for that…

Neko: Oh and I think I had way too much fun writing Kurama more like Youko in this chapter. The best part is it kind of works, because one would expect Youko to be present more around Kuronue. Only natural, right?

Kuro: I think you just wanted another way to make fun of me.

Neko: Eh, maybe, but it fits within the story in this case. Plus it lets me write Shuiichi and Youko at the same time. Hurray for multiple personalities!

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a small child or a girl. Hazuki uses it with Kuro as a joke.


	21. Chapter 21

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: You wanted stalkers, you got stalkers!

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Neko: Thanks again to everyone who gave me support and feedback! It really helped motivate me during a time that could only be described as Meh…

Kuro: Oh, sure. You spend several months going 'Meh' I spend several months trying to get Caramell Dansen out of my head. That's fair.

Neko: Meh. And that was the reference to the O-O-Owah, Owah, **Hana4262.** That was my best attempt at sounding out the crazy nonsense word verse of the Caramell Dansen. Those who are familiar with the song should understand why Hiei fell to it so quickly.

Kuro: Don't. Mention. That. Song.

Neko: Nyah! **Death101 – Fox Version**, when "That Song" defeated Hiei, imagine it being blasted into your first, second, and (in Hiei's case) third sight cranked to maximum volume and sped up even more. That combined with cutesy anime characters dancing on an eternal loop, and you have yourself one helluva weapon. And **oOKnightOo**, I hope your PC didn't get the cord pulled!

OoOoOoOoOoO

Let me be completely honest for a minute here… I'm a generally nice guy. People like me. My personality is laid-back and blunt. I say what's on my mind, and people are usually better off for it. And when that fails, I can fall back on my incredible good looks (just ask my fan club). For these reasons, I'm not used to people NOT liking me. Granted there's a few exceptions to the rule like the fire-rat and Fishboy, but overall, I'm pretty damn well-liked.

Which is why the faculty room was considerably more uncomfortable this morning.

Stepping back a bit, Kurama and I had been notified to go there directly before homeroom today. Apparently, the staff wanted each student council candidate for president and vice-president to state why they felt they were the best choice for the job.

Normally, this wouldn't have been a problem for Kuronue, Master BSer, but today I could especially feel the radiation from the glares Fishy and his advisor shot at me. My so called 'rival' did this on a daily basis, but I didn't understand what his advisor's problem was. He was the chemistry teacher, so I never even spoke with him before. Hell, I'd only been in his room once or twice to—

I blinked.

So that was it….he had found out about the Exploding Frog Incident. This was going to be fun.

Luckily, I had Kurama on my side to help me out with the pitch to the teachers. We were able to use his status as the residing God of the School to our advantage and mention a few of the things that would affect teachers like involving them more in activities, meeting with them to brainstorm ideas to help the school, and do something about the parking lot. That was mostly Kurama. I just kept saying crap about being so fortunate to go to a school like this and how no other school I had ever been to was a welcoming, advanced, and successful. I don't know; I just kinda went with it.

After we had to listen to Fishy's lame defense (he clearly had not put any thought into doing things for the faculty) the meeting was over before I knew it.

"Can you believe that Fishboy kept trying to say that I was a bad omen that would bring horrible changes to the school if I was elected?" I asked Kurama on our way back to class. "He made me sound like some kind of cult."

"Yes, that was an interesting transfer student analogy…" Kurama replied, but seemed deep in thought.

"What's up, fox?"

"I was just trying to figure out why Kaito's advisor seemed especially hostile towards you in there…"

I gulped.

"You didn't happen to pull a prank in his room, did you?" the redhead asked me as if he already knew all about my mishap with the giant mutant space frogs…which he probably did.

"I didn't mean for them to explode, Kurama!" I explained. "I really didn't…"

"Tell that to the frogs, not me."

"I only wanted an army of giant mutant space frogs!" I argued my perfectly reasonable point. "What good are they to me in hundreds of pieces on the floor?"

"Why were they on the floor?"

"I kinda let them out when they started turning funny colors…then they ran."

"They ran on the floor?" Kurama asked, definitely not excited about the answer.

"The floor…the lab stations…the teacher's desk…"

As predicted, my kitsune friend shook his head and sighed, no doubt warding off another headache.

"I don't want to hear this…"

"But it was successful after all!"

"And how's that?"

"I learned pop rocks, random chemicals, and youki don't mix well together; especially when you throw frogs in there too."

OoOoOoOoOoO

The beginning of the morning went well, as it usually does, and then I found myself stuck in another one of Badger's business law spiral of death lectures. The signs were all there for another late to lunch lesson – time had slowed, Badger had begun to spew Badger drool all over the front row of students (he gets really excited when he gets to talk about recessions), and his lecture started to sound more and more like he copied and pasted it together from the textbook, a manic-depressive person's blog, and every post-apocalyptic movie script ever written. Yep, we're looking at 5 – 10 minutes late easy.

To take my mind off of the lack of subject matter, I reviewed all the clues I had about the creepy stalker I still had to deal with.

She has terrible handwriting.

She's seen me at the park at least once.

She has access to the Boy's Locker Room (or is very sneaky).

The line between admiring from afar and plotting to kidnap means nothing to her.

The line between fangirl and illegal does not exist for her.

She has several mental issues she really needs to work out.

Things were not looking promising.

I just didn't have enough to go on. I still continued to get the letters and they were getting progressively trashy romance. My stalker was now convinced that we were going to elope together and have many children on the coast of the Grenadines. And I don't even know where the hell that is! When I first read it, I thought my little over-obsessive fangirl just spelled 'grenades' wrong.

I won't even get started on the horrors of releasing a bunch of little Kuronues into the world. The thought alone freaks me out.

The only good thing about this whole ordeal is that it makes Kurama laugh, which makes him forget about minor lapses in good judgment I've made, such as set an annoying guy in Bio's homework on fire. I kept trying to tell him my eyes were naturally blue and that he was standing way too close to my Bunsen burner, but _noooo_ he just wouldn't listen. If Kurama was unable to detect my youki manipulating the wind to change directions, he wouldn't have known any different either. Maybe I'll get another one that I can use to help my friend overlook the Exploding Frog Incident.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Sure enough, there was another letter left for me in my locker as I stopped there before lunch.

_I will caress your hard body with tropical oils and dig my nails in just as you start to—_

Annnnd that's enough light reading for me. I didn't even want to finish that last letter for fear of losing my appetite.

Enough was enough. This imaginary life that my stalker was creating for me was sounding more and more like a bad fanfic. I had to figure out who was sending these stupid letters and stop them.

Running a few minutes late to Karate, I got my wish.

OoOoOoOoOoO

For whatever reason, Tachibana let us out of Novel Study a little late today and I had to hightail it back across half the school to get to the freaking gym. This is normally the part where I would start cursing Ms. Frizzle, but I honestly hadn't been paying enough attention in class to rip on whatever random pieces of literature she was botching. She could have been preaching the literary wonders of _Dora the Explorer: Finds A Sock_ and I wouldn't have known any different.

Anyway, deformed bilingual cartoon characters aside, I made it into the locker room later than everyone else, so most of the guys had already cleared out. Nobody ever wants to face the wrath of our super-lovable ogre of a teacher. I rounded the corner of the locker section that I used and stopped dead in my tracks.

There was my stalker caught in the act of stuffing another flower and freaky note into my locker.

It was the last person I would have ever suspected. The freak in front of me now was a skinny little white belt whose knobby little legs were now trembling against the locker frame. Creep-o's scraggly hair covered most of their face and was now drenched in sweat. I don't recall ever seeing this person before, but the scent of fear was heavy in the air….and oh, yeah—my stalker was a flipping _guy!_

"What in the name of hell are you doing?" I shouted, still hoping that I'd wake up from this nightmare of a situation.

"I-I-I-!" the twig of a kid stuttered. He had to be barely 13 years old.

"Is that what I think it is?" I cringed, pointing to the props in his hands.

"I-I-I c-couldn't help-p-p i-i-it…" he panted, still shaken up.

"Did somebody put you up to this?" I asked.

_Please tell me somebody put you up to this! _

"N-No!" the freak stammered. "I-I-I love you!"

Cue blank stare and major sweatdropping.

"E-Ever since I saw you beat up those bullies and help those two girls out at the park!" Mr. Stalker seemed to be regaining his confidence. "It-It was wonderful! I was swept off my feet! I had to have you!"

I felt a new wave of nausea coming over me.

"It took me forever to build up the courage to deliver my letters to you!" he paused. "The letters that conveyed my true feelings for you…"

He may be standing right here in front of me, but I still find it hard to believe that such a shy person could write such trashy letters.

"So…will you accept my feelings for you…Akatsuki-sama…?"

"NO."

It was heartless. It was mean. It was necessary.

Skinny's eyes began to well up with tears and he clutched his letter and flower to his chest.

"Sorry, man, but I'm straight," I got right to the point. "And I'm also turned off by stalkers."

"Stalkers? You had a stalker?" the white belt asked me, shocked.

"Yeah, you!" I replied. "Were you not aware that your methods were in any way stalkerish?"

Another blank look, this one coming from Skinny.

"Look, my advice is to go chase after somebody else who can return your…feelings," I held back a mental cringe. "And hold off on the love letters. You come off a little too strong in those…"

"R-Really?" he asked. "Are you sure that's how I can win someone over?"

"Trust me," I sweatdropped. "You stick to verbal communication and you'll definitely find somebody out there for you."

"Alright, Akatsuki-sama! I'll do just that!" beamed Skinny. "But call me if you change your mind about us. I can give you my number—"

"A-Actually, that's okay, I've really got to get going!" This time I was the one stammering. "Class is gonna start soon and all!"

My former stalker looked a little put out, but nodded and exited the doors to his class. One awkward conversation down, one to go.

"Akatsuki!" boomed Yukio's voice from the gym. "Move your ass! Class is starting in two minutes!"

Ah, Sensei. Right on time.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I practically flew through Karate class today. Partially because it was cut short due to an assembly at the end of the day, partially because at that assembly they would be announcing the next Student Council positions.

So, no pressure.

We all lined up by class before walking to the assembly hall, which meant no standing by Kurama. Instead, I depended on my extremely resourceful sign language skills passed down to me by watching altogether too many military movies.

Unsurprisingly, the fox didn't notice. However the guy standing in front of him saw my wildly flailing arms and tried to decipher what I was trying to say…to no avail. After he gave up, he tapped Kurama on the shoulder and motioned my way. I could of sworn I heard something sarcastic about "baseball gestures" and "steal second base."

The redhead was not terribly shocked by my impromptu attempt at sign language and waved back at me. This wasn't the reaction I was going for, so I redoubled my efforts to get the message across to him.

I…know…who…the…stalker…is!

All this seemed to do was confuse my friend before both lines started moving forward. Curses! Foiled again! I just hoped I got a chance to tell him before the assembly actually started. All candidates were instructed to meet in an adjoining classroom by the almighty intercom system. Maybe I would get the chance to talk to him there.

….Or not.

The classroom for the student council candidates was alive and buzzing with previous members and the current advisors. I barely got to thank the former secretary for his good luck wishes before the Hairwoman practically stiff-armed me in excitement. My neck would never be the same. Neither would my ego…the crazy lady practically dragged me off into a corner of the room, while giving me "helpful advice" about standing on the stage and saying nothing while the principal spoke. I was still waiting for her to tell me about the restrictions placed on my victory dance once Principal Gan announced me the winner and Fishboy the Fail. My daydream had just gotten to the part about me dancing circles around Fishface, who had collapsed to the floor in tears; when Kurama joined us in the Real Life Thing.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, only to be interrupted by one of the faculty members ordering us to line up. Figures. I was beginning to wonder if I would even get a chance to talk to my friend while they paraded us onto the stage. The heavy red curtains were still drawn on us and I could hear Principal Gan speaking to the audience from the other side about the exciting election we had this year. Everyone else looked equally bored back here (except for Fishy, who was struggling to hear every word), so I leaned over and whispered to Kurama.

"I found out who the stalker was."

"Oh, really? Who?" The fox whispered back.

"I…don't want to talk about it," I winced, realizing how ridiculous it would sound.

"I'm sure Bakana-kun would be very disappointed to hear that."

"H-How'd you—?" I asked, wide-eyed.

"Since yesterday, when I saw him come to Karate late with a petal stuck to his gi," the redhead grinned.

"You bastard, I—!"

I was cut off by the student applause as the curtain rose.

Instantly, Vice Principal Tree Up His Ass started hollering at the crowd to call them to order. To his right, Principal Gan seemed to enjoy the applause. Sure, it wasn't for him, but it was probably the most excited he'd seen the entire student body in a long time. I hadn't been listening to Gan's speech at all, so I can only assume they were cheering for us or for Gan's mercifully short speech.

Vice Principal Akusei barked at the students onstage next, ordering us to line up in accordance to Student Council position. This was a bummer because I now had to stand next to Fishface. Which is a lot like standing next to that kid in your class with the hairstyle that died in the 70's and the B.O. to match. On the plus side, he seemed too distracted by all the eyes fixed on our line-up to notice his mortal enemy standing beside him. He was lucky we didn't have to give any more speeches today or I think he would have fainted.

"May I have everyone's attention, please!" Principal Gan stated. "I will now be announcing our next Student Council members! When you hear your name called out, please step forward!"

The audience suddenly got very quiet, several students bouncing in their seats in excitement. You'd think they were at the Academy Awards or something. Only with a lot less dance numbers. If only they let us have more dance numbers…

"Our new Student Coordinator will be…..Nakamura Kohana!"

A loud applause came from the senior class as a small girl skipped forward and bowed. I almost did a double take – she looked about 10 years old! Hell, my little sister was taller than her! Was she some kind of child prodigy? Weird.

"Our new Treasurer will be…..Hisakawa Kuchinashi!"

This time the underclassmen gave the most applause as a somewhat cranky-looking freshman stood forward and bowed. He must be another transfer student, as he had blonde hair and brown eyes. I can imagine all the 'dye your hair, you delinquent' lectures he already got from Akusei.

"Our new Secretary will be…..Yugasa Ayame!"

A polite amount of applause from all the grade levels echoed as Ayame stepped in front of a livid Itchweed and bowed to the audience. Her rival was also clapping but you could see murder in her eyes and hear the grinding of her teeth from all the way over on my side of the stage. I started to feel bad for Ayame, but then recognized her as the arrogant megane chick who was giving me a hard time during Orientation Week. I almost couldn't believe I voted for her, but with Itchweed as the other candidate, I suppose there weren't many other options.

"Our new Vice President will be…..Minamino Shuiichi!"

Shocker.

And with that, the students almost tore the roof off the assembly hall with how loud they got. Vice Principal Akusei went ballistic trying to calm them down. Eventually, Kurama was able to with a wave of his hands when he had finished bowing. I laughed; you can't buy that kind of power.

"And finalllllly, the moment you've all been waiting for…" Gan tried to build up the dramatic tension, apparently not noticing the nasty look his second in command shot him. "Our new Student Council President will be…..Akatsuki Kuroji!"

Again with the loud applause. I grinned at the Fishboy and proceeded to do every Final Fantsy victory dance I could remember on my way up to the front of the stage. I grinned again, this time to my loyal supporters and bowed to them.

When I stood up, the rest of the newly-elected student council had joined me center stage. Kurama and Kohana looked completely at ease with the thunderous clapping and cheering, while Ayame and Kuchinashi seemed more hesitant and only politely waved. Gan joined in clapping for us all while Akusei had furiously jumped down the stairs to attempt to silence the chaos that had ensued.

I carefully eyed the three members of the Student Council that I didn't know as well. I realized I hadn't paid that much attention to the other campaigns, so I didn't know jack about the newcomers. As the clapping had started to fade in my ears, I briefly wondered what they were like (besides Ayame, who I was already not looking forward to working with), but then shook my head and focused back on the audience.

There would be plenty of time to get to know them later, first I planned on enjoying the moment.

Kuronue – 1

Fishboy – 0

-**END: Chap. 18**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Hope you enjoyed the election/stalker revelation chapter. Sorry it took so long! Things have been kinda crazy, but are starting to settle down again.

Kuro: Yeah, we'll see for how long.

Neko: Quiet, you. Hopefully, I'll get another Anem chapter out soon! Next time, we get to see how Kuro interprets how a Student Council President should act…..but for right now, I'm taking a much needed nap!

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a small child or a girl. Hazuki uses it with Kuro as a joke.

**Bakana** (Jap.) "That's silly" in Japanese. Technically not a last name, but I used it anyway for Kuro's stalker.

**Kohana Nakamura** (Jap.) "Little flower" and "Middle Village" respectively.

**Kuchinashi Hisakawa** (Jap.) "Gardenia" and "River" respectively. You can imagine the fun Kuro is going to have with his name.

**Ayame Yugasa** (Jap.) "Iris" and "Elegance" respectively. Ironically, all three of the Student Council members to join Kuro and Kurama have flower related names. This was unintentional at the time I developed them, I just kinda went with it.

**Megane** (Jap.) "glasses" this term can also be used to describe a person who wears glasses.


	22. Chapter 22

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: I'm glad the stalker's identity went over ok with everybody. Remember, it wasn't a hate crime, it was a 'let's put Kuro in an awkward situation and see what he does' crime.

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Neko: Look! Look! I updated faster for a change!

Kuro: There's one for the books.

Neko: Keep talking and there might be a recall.

Kuro: Followed by a revolution!

Neko: Followed by an assassination!

Kuro: _(sweatdrops)_ Er, what?

Neko: Nevermind, but here's a new chapter because…um…

Kuro: You were hopped up on Sweet Tea?

Neko: No! Er, because…**Pinball62** and **Chaos Dragon-Fox** asked nicely. Yeah, that's it.

Kuro: So they asked nicely and you were sugar high. Got it. Interesting writing method.

OoOoOoOoOoO

The halls were dark and dingy after being walked on by hundreds of people today. One light; dimmer than the rest, flickered on and off uncertainly, as if it was debating the meaning behind its existence? Was it really worth it? The sweet smell of muffins clung to the air, following me step by step. It was hope. Hope for me, hope for the oppressed, hope for the stressed….I heard there was a tough Algebra test coming up this week.

My name is Kuronue, and my job is to clean up these streets.

I would cast light where it was flickering out. I would give muffins to where students were dying in the hallways– bled dry by the teachers that added more and more equations and calculations to a suffering society. I would inspire students to dream again then gain new freedoms to carry those dreams out! I would make this school a better place….or die trying.

"Okay…" Ayame's sharp voice cut through my reverie. "But that still doesn't explain why you're late.

"Look," I smiled sheepishly. "I brought muffins."

At first there was silence, then….

"Yay! Muffins!" Student Coordinator Kohana cheered. She leapt from her chair and happily hopped over to the table I had set the box of muffins on. The seemingly 12-year-old girl grabbed a strawberry muffin and dug in.

Kurama followed suit with simple word of thanks (choosing walking over hopping) and helped himself to a blueberry muffin.

The secretary and treasurer just stood there with a mixture of confusion and uncertainty on their faces. Did they think I baked them myself? These were store-bought for Inari's sake! I wouldn't have given my mother a chance to poison them in our kitchen!

"Something wrong?" I asked, taking out a cinnamon muffin to prove they were edible.

"Why did you bring muffins?" Kuchinashi asked.

Before he could ask if I took it out of our budget too, I tried to explain it was a gesture of goodwill. Don't all elected officials bring their team treats for good luck? Geez, the one time I try to be nice…

The answer seemed good enough for Kuchinashi, who reluctantly took out an apple muffin and slowly began to eat it. He kept looking at me awkwardly, but at least he was eating the wonderful gift I had brought.

"Fine," my dear secretary's voice cut through the silence again. "You were late because you went to get muffins. That doesn't explain your choice of attire!"

She gestured to my elegant red satin sash that read "Emperor" in gold trim, fancy gold scepter, and gold crown embedded with rubies and diamonds….all furnished from our local Costco for only $7.99! Sure it took me awhile to track everything down in the store that sold anything from toilet seats to tiaras, but it was worth it in the end. I looked regal with a touch of politician….only more honest with my people.

"Don't all elected officials wear classy outfits like this to their first meet—"

"Ugh! I don't care!" Ayame interrupted me. "Let's just start the meeting, I have ballet class after this!"

"Ooh, how elegant!" I joked with an uppity voice, taking my seat at the table. "The Emperor calls this meeting to order!"

I banged my gold scepter against the table twice to get everyone's attention.

"You don't really expect me to call you 'The Emperor' in our meeting minutes, do you?" the megane-maniac replied stiffly.

"I expect you to do your job to the best of your—"

"And what's our first order of business?" asked Kurama from beside me.

"Well," I smiled, adjusting my crown. "We need code names."

"Code names?" Ayame responded incredulously, nearly dropping her pen. "You're serious?"

"Cool! I want a code name!" beamed Kohana.

"Why do we need code names?" asked the ½ Japanese, ½ English, 100% Buzz-kill across from her.

"Well, Kootchi, when liberating the school from the unjust nobles that run it, we need to be more careful about—"

"What did you just call me?"

"Kootchi…you know, like Kuchinashi, only shorter."

"I don't want you to give me any weird nicknames or code names!"

He was sitting next to Kurama, so I had no problem reaching over the redhead to ruffle the freshmen's hair.

"Aww, what's the matter? Kootchi-kootchi-koo!"

"Hey, knock it off!" the flustered freshman batted my hand away.

"Would you prefer Hootchi?"

"No."

"Back to the topic at hand…" my Vice President interrupted with a small cough.

"Ah, yes…thank you, Red Fox."

"I already told you, I'm not writing this down," snapped Ayame.

"Ooh! I want a code name, too!" cried Kohana ecstatically raising her hand.

"How about….Pink Panda?" I suggested, noticing the panda pins on her book bag. And odds seemed good that if she looked and acted like a 12-year-old, she'd like pink, right?

"Pink Panda…?" she thought about it carefully before smiling. "I love it, _nipah!_"

"Wonderful. See guys, code names aren't all bad."

"I just told you that I'm not writing this garbage down."

"That's such a disappointment….Blue Swan."

"Blue…Swan?"

Ok, this one I kinda pulled out of my ass. Her hair color is a deeper blue and ballet lessons makes me think of that one…with the swan…or something.

"…Blue Swan…" she repeated. I could've sworn her cheeks turned a little pink. "I suppose that one's not half-bad."

And with that, Code Names were golden for the rest of my reign.

"You guys can't be serious…" sighed Kootchi.

"Don't worry, buddy, we'd never leave you out!" I grinned. "We wouldn't forget our good friend, Rubber Ducky!"

"R-Rubber…Ducky…?"

Kohana laughed.

"Where the hell did you come up with Rubber Ducky?"

"Look at it this way, everyone else's code names relate to hair color and yours is yellowish-brown," I began. "And in the event that we later design color-coordinated uniforms for ourselves, yellow will look better than brown."

"So?"

"So, I decided 'Yellow' would be your color," I explained. "Next, your animal. You're a freshman, so you're brand new at this school, like a duckling to a pond."

"That makes no sense."

"Which gives us 'Yellow Ducky'…except that reminds me of 'Rubber Ducky" and that sounds a lot better."

"Ayame-senpai, you're not seriously going to write this down, right?"

"Is that Ducky with a 'y' or Duckie with an 'ie,' Akatsuki?"

"Just a 'y.'"

Kootchi slumped forward in his chair, defeated.

"Well, before we plan any activities, perhaps Hisakawa-kun should read us his treasury report so we know what we're working with?"

"Thanks, Minamino-senpai," Kootchi said, giving him a grateful smile.

"His name's Red Fox," I corrected him. "And mine is Black Bat."

"We currently have $340.13 in our budget and can expect another $500.00 coming in from the school for the start of this semester," read the freshman, shooting me daggers in between financial statements.

"Wait a minute!" I exclaimed. "How much did you say we had?"

"A total of $840.13 as of next Monday."

"We have $840?" I shouted. Everyone else looked confused. "$840!"

"And thirteen cents," added the treasurer, matter-of-factly.

"Guys, that's a LOT of money!"

"I suppose it's more than the majority of schools allot for their student council programs, yes…" Kurama tried to explain to me.

"Hells yeah, it is!" I responded as eloquently as possible.

"Silly boy," the icy secretary said snidely. "Here at Meiou High School, we believe that anything worth doing, is worth doing at our full potential. Or did you not notice that 90% of the school is made up of extremely wealthy families?"

I guess it just didn't hit me how much that factor effected everything until then. Holy shit, $840!

"Then we'll just have to blow everyone away this year!" I raised my fist. "The Emperor has spoken!"

"Good, keep in mind how much is expected of us, President Akatsuki," nodded Ayame as she continued scribbling down notes.

"What's our first event to plan, then?" I asked.

"The school's Cultural Festival!" cheered the resident child officer.

"Good, and when is that?"

"Saturday, October 14th, Nii-Nii!"

"Ok, so that gives us a while to plan it!"

"As long as we don't slack off," Kootchi-kun shot me another warning eye.

"I never said we would, Rubber Ducky," I gave an expression of mock shock. "My AP English paper – yes, but I would never procrastinate on planning a party! Emperor's honor."

Kootchi ignored me raising my right hand and swearing to this.

"You're still stuck on that whole 'Emperor' thing?"

"So we'll most likely look to you, Kohana-chan, for the preliminary student info," Kurama stated to help prevent yet another fight.

"Yes, as Student Coordinator, I will task a committee to supply student surveys to each homeroom class to be filled out and give us a better representation of what students want to see this year and what they liked and disliked from last year. These will then be tallied, analyzed, and presented to you all at our next meeting," said the little pink one.

We all just kinda….._stared_ for a moment.

"Nipah!" and chibi face had returned. "We should get a panda for the day!"

"Uh, that sounds great, Kohana!" I smiled. "Is there anything else you guys want to bring up today?"

Everyone shook their heads, still trying to figure out whether Kohana had been possessed by an evil god or just temporally brain-washed for a few seconds.

"Alrighty, then be sure to show up here at 7:30 tomorrow so we can walk around the school and answer any questions people have about us."

"Like a parade!" squealed Kohana.

"Exactly like a parade!" I agreed.

"That sounds good, but you're not going to show up like that again, right Kuroji?" Kurama asked, knowing he was the only one here I couldn't openly lie to.

"Uh…"

"Because that will create more questions than answer them," he added.

"Yeah, and _his majesty's_ 'royal scepter' looks more like a 'pimp cane," snickered Kootchi.

"Well…I shall consider your statement, Vice President Red Fox."

Everyone else either sweatdropped or groaned, knowing full and well what I would show up in tomorrow.

"Just remember that it's really important that you show up early so we have enough time to prepare," I told them.

"Prepare for what, exactly?" asked Ayame.

"You'll see tomorrow!" I waved. "Meeting adjourned!"

"I second it," Kurama said, raising a hand partway. He knew it was useless to try to get me to explain more. Nice having someone who knows me so well on the team.

The others muttered their farewells (with the exception of Kohana's "See you tomorrow, Nii-Nii!") and stood up slowly. Little did they know what was in store for them….Mwa, ha, ha.

OoOoOoOoOoO

The others departed shortly after the meeting was adjourned until only the kitsune and I were left. I had considered letting him in on the big surprise for tomorrow, but decided it would be more fun not to. Besides, this was Kurama, we're talking about; odds are good he already knew what was up.

"Not bad for a first meeting," I grinned, adjusting my crown. I noticed that one of my genuine oval cut rubies was a little loose and made a mental note to fix that later tonight. Some good old fashioned duct tape oughta do the trick. "How do you think it went, Kurama?"

"About as well as we could have hoped for."

"Hmm…yeah." I nodded in agreement, before getting lost in thought. "Hey, Kurama?"

"Yes?"

"What the hell does 'Nii-Nii' mean?"

- **BONUS: Student Council Interview (3****rd**** Person POV) -**

Interviewer: Thank you for joining us today, Minamino-san. It's not often we get to interview the Student Council to learn more about how the President helps run the school. The Broadcasting Committee appreciates your time.

Kurama: Not a problem at all.

Interviewer: Can you tell us a little about Kuroji-kun's leadership skills?

Kurama: Well, I've known him for awhile, so I'm used to his…out of the ordinary ways of doing things. He really does mean well deep down, he just shows it in strange ways.

Interviewer: You both grew up together, so you know him the best of all the Student Council members, do you think he's ready for the responsibility of Student Council President?

Kurama: I believe that Kuroji will prove to be a good president in the long run, and whenever he is struggling with the position, he'll have the other Student Council members and myself to support him.

Interviewer: We look forward to seeing the kind of president he becomes, thank you for your time, Minamino-san!

oOoOo

Kuchinashi: The guy is insane! I don't know how in the name of all that's magical he got elected! He doesn't seem to take his position very serious, so I'm actually a little worried…what did I get myself into?

Interviewer: _(sweatdrops)_ Sooo…you're feeling a little hesitant about Kuroji-kun's actions and responsibilities?

Kuchinasi: Hesitant about his actions, yes, but I don't think he even knows what the hell responsibility means! The guy showed up to our first meeting in a sash and crown! He insists on being called "the Emperor!" And don't get me started on how he thinks he can "clean up the streets" of Meiou High School in a similar fashion to Batman!

Interviewer: Er, _who_ is Batman?

Kuchinashi: _(sweatdrops)…._You know, _Batman_. The super hero! He fights crime!

Interviewer: Oh, like Ultraman?

Kuchinashi: _(sighs)_ Yes, like Ultraman. Look, I know they don't import everything from the West, but tell me you've at least _heard_ of freaking Batman….

Interviewer: _(confused)_ Why so serious about this topic?

Kuchinashi: Arrrrrrgh!

Interviewer: Thank you for your time, Kootchi-kun!

Kuchinashi: It's Kuchinashi! KUCHINASHI! Why is that so hard to understand? Did you get that stupid nickname from Akatsuki? Dammit, President!

oOoOo

Ayame: What do I think of President Akatsuki? Well, I'm not certain he was the right man for the job, but I guess we'll see. He managed to beat Kaito, but that doesn't mean he'll still live up to my expectations…

Interviewer: So you have high expectations for him, then?

Ayame: Of course. A person of my standing would never work with someone unworthy of my time. Akatsuki has yet to prove he meets the requirements for the position.

Interviewer: Then it will be interesting to see how he develops.

Ayame: _(adjusts glasses)_ Yes, we'll see if he can gain my interest.

Interviewer: Thank you for your time.

oOoOo

Kohana: _(giggles)_ I love Nii-Nii! He's going to be the best president ever! He brought muffins on our first meeting! It was really yummy!

Interviewer: So, ah, you're looking forward to working with him then?

Kohana: Yeah! There was strawberry, and blueberry, and banana, and um, apple! _(beams)_

Interviewer: Er, that sounds nice. Can you tell us what activities Kuroji-kun hopes to focus on in the future?

Kohana: He said we could get a panda bear for me at the next school festival! A real panda bear!

Interviewer: A…panda bear? Um, thank you for your time, Nakamura-san. (Is she really a senior?)

Kohana: _(eating candy) _You're welcome, nipah!

oOoOo

Interviewer: _(stops tape that was playing)_ So what do you have to say about all this, Kuroji-kun?

Kuro: _(eats more popcorn)_ I'm not crazy…..I'm just not normal.

-**END: Chap. 22**

**::A/N::**

Neko: The Bonus Chapter was added to give you more insight into how the rest of the Student Council views Kuro.

Kuro: What are you talking about, I'm awesome.

Neko: Yeeeeah. When writing Anem's usual 1st person POV, it's harder for me to develop the other characters because you don't often get into their heads as much, so hopefully this helped.

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-senpai** (Jap.) Honorific for "upperclassmen" or "senior" or "superior"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a small child or a girl. Hazuki uses it with Kuro as a joke.

**Megane** (Jap.) "glasses" this term can also be used to describe a person who wears glasses.

**Every word coming out of Kohana's** **mouth** (Jap.) Much of Kohana's random speech is taken from the series Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni (When They Cry/When the Cicadas Cry). Several of the characters in that horror series speak in cutesy sentences/suffixes. "Nipah!" is a nonsense word created to make Rika even more adorable. "Nii-Nii" is a more childish way to say "big brother" and Rena's "Kana? Kana?" translates to "I wonder? I wonder?" Don't worry if you haven't seen this series, it won't affect Anem any. I just wanted an excuse to use Higurashi-isms : P


	23. Chapter 23

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Today I listened to Bad Apple. I listened to Bad Apple 23 times. That's a lot. Now you have a new chapter.

(Apologies for the wait!)

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Neko: Thanks to everyone who asked nicely for me to update, but that was kind of embarrassing, so don't feel as though you need to ask nicely for new chapters. I enjoy writing crack like this just for the sake of writing…crack like this. And if people like it, all the better.

Kuro: So…You want them to bitch you out for new chapters?

Neko: No, just, nevermind. Looks like some people think there's even the slightest chance of you becoming a responsible person now that you're in any sort of a position of power? Heh…

OoOoOoOoOoO

The time was 7:36 A.M., the location was the Student Council Room, the plan…well, the plan was to not get yelled at for being late for the 7:30 meeting.

"What's up, A-Team?" I greeted everyone as I opened the door.

"You're late, President Akatsuki!"

"Oh, Ayame-san, your voice is so beautiful first thing in the morning…" I replied half-suavely half-sarcastically.

"You told us all to be here at 7:30 and then you have the nerve to show up late?" the blue-haired secretary continued coldly. "I thought this was supposed to be important!"

"Oh, it's important." I nodded. "It's very important. So important that I—"

"—Showed up to school in a tarp?" Kootchi finished.

I sighed. Only Kurama and Kohana were intelligent enough not to question my motives. They instead waited patiently for me to reveal my big surprise….though to be fair, Kohana seemed a hell of a lot more excited about it.

"He's hiding the surprise!" the young pink officer exclaimed with glee.

"Thank you, Kohana-chan," I beamed. "You're exactly right, I'm wearing a tarp to hide the super mega ultra surprise."

"Why?" Kootchi and Ayame asked in unison.

"So I can tear it off in a dramatic fashion and reveal my top secret plot to you all!"

And I did just that – I leapt into the air, did a half-flip while ripping off my tarp in the process, and landing on the nearest table for all to see. Kootchi and Ayame stared at me with blank expressions on their faces. Kurama and Kohana held up papers that said "8" and "9.5" respectively. I'm not sure where they got the paper, but decided not to ask.

"Y-You really showed up in that crazy outfit again…" stammered the treasurer, still staring in disbelief.

"Pimp cane and all, baby!" I grinned, twirling the royal scepter.

"I thought we were supposed to present ourselves to the student body," Ayame sighed, readjusting her glasses. "You really want to make a fool of yourself this early in your presidency?"

"I'm not making a fool of myself, and I think you guys are missing the point…" I argued.

"Is that…the new uniform?" asked my former partner in crime.

"Ding, ding, ding! One million points to Red Fox!" I cheered. "This…is the draft for the new uniform! The Fashion Club just finished them yesterday!"

It was an awesome uniform, made even more awesome by the fact that I was the one wearing it. Just like in the previous drafts posted onto all of our posters and fliers, it was primarily black, with red trim and featured the school crest on the shoulder. Best of all, they used some kind of fabric that made it comfortable to wear unlike the usual itchy new clothes feel. It dominated the other uniform in every way. It kicked it's ass. It pwn'd it like a noob. It rocked it like Hurricane Kuronue through Fishboy's lame excuse of a presidential campaign.

"I hate to say it, but cheap emperor accessories aside, it actually looks kind of cool," smiled Kootchi. "You did good work getting the Fashion Club to help out."

"Thanks, Rubber Ducky, it is pretty sweet isn't – Hey! What do you mean 'cheap emperor accessories?' These bring the outfit together!"

"Kuroji…"

"Yeah, Kurama?"

"When you said 'The Fashion Club finished _them_ yesterday…'"

"See? This is why you're my VP," I chuckled and opened the closet door, revealing four more sets of the new uniforms. "Taa-Dah! Suit up, everybody!"

"Whoa…" Kootchi uttered, holding out his uniform.

"Yay! New clothes!" the Panda-lover spun around with hers. "Thanks, Nii-Nii!"

"How did you know what size to get us?" Ayame asked, inspecting her uniform.

"I may or may not have illegally accessed your school medical records."

"He's kidding, right?" Rubber Ducky whispered to Kurama.

"It's usually best not to ask," came his reply.

"Alright people, let's change and get out there to remind people why they elected us in the first place!"

I think they all cheered except for Ayame.

OoOoOoOoOoO

As expected, the sample uniforms were a huge hit. In fact, they were so effective, that neither Ayame or Kootchi tried to rip on my sash, scepter, or crown after the first crowd had spotted us. A few members of the Fashion Club even tailed us for a bit to answer specific questions about the new uniforms and bask in their 5 suits in 5 days glory.

It was to be expected that the teachers had mixed reviews about the new uniforms. Vice Principal Akusei just stared at us with his mouth dropped for a few seconds then ran back into the office. The chemistry teacher that hated me after "The Exploding Frog Incident" and his science-y cronies also scowled at us a bit and returned to their conversations. But hey, the important thing was that the majority of the staff seemed to like the change and Principal Gan loved them. Do I sense a change coming soon? Eat it, Meiou-Maroon Monkey Suit!

The best part was that Gan let us continue to wear them for the rest of the day. Although, for reasons I cannot understand he asked me to take of the crown and bonus items. I can only assume it was for the same reason as the ban on hats – damn gang related accessories! Yup, overall things were going great, until I was on my way to 2nd hour AP English…and I ran into Fishface. I tried my best to be 'civil' but….

"Hello, Akatsuki."

"Hello, Fi—Kaito."

"You smell like muffins," and he wrinkled his nose.

"You smell like laundromat."

"I see even your fake manners haven't improved."

Gods, what I would give to still have my pimp cane on my person. This is the very situation that you're supposed to 'Smack a Bitch.'

"Maybe, but my 'fake manners' still kick the crap out of your 'standard manners' any day," I tipped my imaginary hat. "I bid you good day, sir."

He clenched his teeth and muttered something about my head and where I should stuff it on his way into the classroom.

And that is why we'll never get along.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I had planned on meeting up with Kurama after school today, but first had to run home to drop some things off and pick some video games up. Or at least that's what I told myself. I had told Kurama that I was going to pick up my notes on the weird flower incident that had been going on in the park. He just didn't know that these notes consisted of unfinished video games because that stupid flower had this awful habit of eating up my free time.

Before I walked through the front door of my home, I did a quick scan of all the energy signatures. Two average reiki levels flickered to life in the kitchen – Mom and Hiro most likely, while I could sense The Source of All Evil's aura weighing heavily down on the upper levels of the house. Noted. Avoid upstairs for now.

"I'm home!" I said loud enough to be heard from the kitchen, but not loud enough to give myself away to the terror that lurked upstairs.

"Welcome home, honey!" my mother greeted me. "I made cookies!"

I glanced at Hiro who gave me the gesture for 'bought at store.'

"They look great, thanks!" I smiled and popped one of the M&M cookies into my mouth.

"You're in a good mood," grinned Hazuki. "Did you get asked out by some cute young honey?"

"I'm always getting asked out by cute young honeys," I grinned back. "But I did get elected Student Council President, effective yesterday."

Hiro and Hazuki glanced at each other, glanced at me, then at each other again.

"No, really, Sweetie. What'd you do?"

"I bet he got into a fight again and is just trying to cover it up!"

"Funny, family," I tried to cover up my frown with a smile. "But I did actually get elected Student Council President. That's why I'm wearing a different uniform. It was part of the campaign."

They proceeded to laugh and nearly choke on cookies.

"I'm serious! Look, do I need to get a copy of the school paper to prove it?"

This was getting ridiculous! Where was Hana when I needed her. She'd always take her poor big brother's side….well, unless she was mad at me. Which was usually Iro's fault anyway. Was she mad at me today….?

"Fine! I'll wait 'til Hana gets home because I'm pretty sure she's not mad at me today, so she'll back me up!"

Hard to believe that most family arguments were solved by whom was in the little sister's good graces, but true. So very true.

"Ok, ok, say we believe you," Mom tried her best to stop laughing. "Can I have your pink uniform when you're done with it?"

"Sure, why?" I asked, puzzled.

"I have a big presentation coming up and could really use it as a sample of what colors and fabrics shouldn't be worn next season."

"Forget it, I'm going back to the original plan of burning it in the back yard next to that casserole Mrs. Kuwabara gave us."

Hazuki quickly made the sign of the cross.

"That's too bad, I was just getting used to that color on you…" snickered Hiro. "Sure am gonna miss it…"

"Then we'll just have to check you into therapy," I said from the doorway. "You're long overdue for a good check-up anyway."

He looked like he was about to say something, but I was faster.

"Whoops, hold the witty retort," I held up my hand. "I have video games to retrieve."

"Headed over to a friend's house?" asked Mom.

"Yep. Kurama's."

"Have fun!" she called out as I headed up the stairs. "Don't forget to bring back his autograph!"

OoOoOoOoOoO

I arrived at the Fox's house about 15 minutes after. I would have gotten there sooner, but had a staredown with the Spawn of Satan over who got to enter my room. Luckily, Hana arrived home and he had to retreat…for now.

I rang the doorbell and waited patiently for someone to answer. Well, about as patiently as someone itching to get through the rest of the missions on L.A. Noire could be.

Kurama answered the door a moment later with his cell phone in one ear. He waved me in as he finished up his conversation.

"Alright, Yusuke. I'll call you if I hear anything."

A flip of the phone later and he redirected his eyes to me.

"Sorry, about that, Kuroji. /Mission./" he apologized, saying the last word in Makaiin. His mom was probably home and I knew he didn't want to get her involved with the Spirit World's latest crisis.

"No worries," I smiled. "Look, I brought my research."

He raised an eyebrow at the bag containing several video games in them.

"Is that what they call it nowadays?"

"Shuiichi?" a softer voice called out. "Is someone here?"

"Kuroji," he replied. "A friend from school."

Kurama's mom popped her head out of the doorway.

"Welcome, Kuroji-kun, I've heard a lot about you from Shuiichi." she greeted me warmly. "I'm Shiori Minamino. Please make yourself at home."

"Nice to meet you," I bowed. "Kuroji Akatsuki."

Before long, Shiori ushered us into the living room and excused herself to make tea. She seemed very sweet and kind-hearted. I briefly wondered if all moms were supposed to be like this and where I could get a refund.

"Glad to see you took the research thing seriously," Kurama smirked from his place on the couch. He glanced down to notice he had absentmindedly been scratching the back of Ekichi's ears. Smiling, he got up to get a cat treat for him.

I had heard from Kurama that after Hiei had seen Kuwabara have to pry the distraught kitten from the fox's shirt, that he had taken pity on the small creature and 'secretly liberated' it. Now Ekichi lived happily with Kurama and his mother, but no one ever talked about that.

"Hey, you know as well as I do that research is your area of expertise, not mine," I huffed. "Besides, this one game I brought over will completely change the way you look at video games forever!"

"Yusuke and Kuwabara tell me that every time too."

"But this is different!" I argued.

"How so?"

"I have taste."

"We'll see if we have time after we've talked more about that flower," he chuckled.

This translates to 'first we'll talk about the really important thing until you get too annoying and I need to figure out a way to shut you up.'

"I hope jasmine tea is alright?" Shiori asked as she re-entered the room with a tray of steaming tea and cookies.

"That sounds great," I smiled appreciatively. "Thank you."

I caught Kurama rolling his eyes a little. He knows I hate jasmine tea. Always have ever since one of our old guild members spiked my cup of jasmine tea with dill weed. Blech.

I still took the cup of tea offered to me. Contrary to what Fishboy may believe, I could be very polite and charming when the situation called for it. Besides, Shiori's version of jasmine tea smelled pretty good. Maybe I'd even try a little of it…maybe.

As we sat around the living room, we talked about what would be considered "normal family topics" by most people's standards. For example, Kurama's mom believed me the first time I mentioned being elected Student Council President. She even congratulated me. This was something I was unused to. Talking about what happened during my day and not having to test the snack food for poison. Weird. I was starting to think all families talked about picking fights with annoying people and stupid talk shows.

"I'm very proud of both of you for being elected. That's a big role to fill at school," Shiori went on.

"We'll be ok," I grinned. "Me and Shuiichi make a good team!"

In case anyone noticed, yes I did remember to call Kurama by his human name. Am I an awesome friend or what?

"That's great to hear," Shiori smiled serenely.

Not thinking about it, I took a sip of the tea. I immediately was dreading it, but after the first initial sips, decided it was pretty good. I may not take up drinking the stuff in other places, but could definitely knock back a few more cups here. Ignoring Kurama's knowing smile, I continued slurping it up. Hurray for no dill weed!

Shiori checked her watch and stood up.

"Well, I have to be getting to work now, I'll probably be back late tonight," she walked over to Kurama and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "It was very nice meeting you, Kuroji. Please feel free to come visit anytime."

"That's very kind of you, thanks."

"Have fun, boys," she waved and headed out the door.

I immediately turned to my red-haired friend.

"Is your Mom aware that she could quit her job today, and retire off the proceeds you got from selling that African diamond to the mafia?"

Kurama shrugged at this.

"What do you tell her anyway? She has to have seen your bank statements."

"I tell her that it's from the stock market," said the fox with a grin.

"Yeah, I'd invest in Youko too."

OoOoOoOoOoO

After Kurama's mom had headed off to work, we started off for the park. After much whining on my part about wanting to play video games and not get KO'd by some stupid plant, of course. You know, typical guy stuff.

We got to the gateway before the park closed, so there was no need to jump it this time. As we started on the path towards the Red Flower of Doom, Kurama kept an eye out for anything suspicious. I kept an eye out for that skinny stalker guy. One can never be to careful…

About ten minutes into our walk (we took our time to not raise anyone's suspicions) we arrived at the grove containing the Creepy Flower. Or the Anemone. Depends on which Youkai was describing it.

"Let's go over what we know about it already…" Kurama started, pulling out the amulet identical to my own. "You've come here a few times before and usually end up having a nightmare about the past."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I also found my pendent inside the Windflower thing, but you already kept my pendent from our time in Makai…"

This was the part where I always got confused.

"And you're certain that both pendants are the same?"

"No doubt about it," I replied. "I have no idea how, but they're definitely the same pendant down to the stone and scent."

"Alright. We also know that somehow my aura is involved with that flower too, we just don't know how…" mused the former thief.

"Right, every time I would start to drift off or get stuck in that weird red tornado, I could've sworn I felt your ki and smelled your scent. It was faint, but I know it was yours."

"And I confirmed the youki to match mine the last time we were here…" Kurama added.

"But before that, you haven't been in the park since you were a kid and too young to cast that kind of spell on plants…" I frowned. "What the hell are we missing here?"

I was starting to get frustrated. We just didn't have enough to go on. Whatever caused the flower to send me my pendant and weird dreams seemed to have our best interest in mind, but it all kept pointing to Kurama….who's youki was the primary source inside the flower, but he wouldn't have been able to do anything since he hasn't visited this park in years! The last time he had been here, it would have been impossible for him to cast anything so complex.

I also didn't understand the point of having two pendants. They were one in the same, but even if Kurama somehow magic'd the flower to give me one, what's the point if he still had the original? The kitsune was legitimately shocked to find me with an identical pendant the first time he saw mine. That would defeat the purpose of intentionally manipulating the anemone flower to give me one.

"Wait, wasn't there another faint trace of spiritual energy the last time we were here?" the redhead asked.

"Now that you mention it, I think you said you sensed something the last time…"

He gave me a look.

"Aw, c'mon! I don't want to get near that thing again!" I complained. "Just 'cause it didn't send us to Dream Land last time, doesn't mean it won't this time!"

"No choice," the fox sighed. "We don't have any other clues to go on…"

"Fine," I pouted. "But if you fall asleep, I'm not going to hold back with drawing silly pictures on your face with a permanent marker…"

"I would expect no less from you," Kurama smiled.

Slowly, we crept over to the red flower. I could feel a slight breeze, but chose to ignore it. Then I felt Kurama's ki flowing from two sources – the person standing next to me and the flower in front of me. I opened my mouth to say something, but suddenly felt too heavy to talk. Everything started getting hazy and the wind picked up around us. The last thing I remember before falling into darkness was the brief flash of someone's reiki and then being surrounded by hundreds of red petals in the wind. I think I reached out to grab Kurama before passing out into nothingness.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I woke up later in a Makaiin field. I recognized it as one about 2 miles away from our old base of operations. Shaking my head to clear it was a terrible idea, as everything got hazy again and it took several seconds to bring the field back into focus.

When I could stand again, I looked around for Kurama, but couldn't find him. I tried reaching out with my mind, but had difficulty sensing anything. Normally, my spiritual awareness is pretty damned good, but right now it felt like I was sensing everything through a thick fog. Very annoying.

_/About time you got here…/_

And now I was hearing voices on top of things. Wonderful.

_/Don't act like you can't hear me, boy!/_

"Who are you calling 'boy' you stupid disembodied voice?"

/Who are you calling a 'stupid disembodied voice?/

"Then embody yourself, come out here and say that!" I spat back. I really didn't need to be hearing strange voices too.

_/I am unable to in the current situation./_

"Why not?"

_/Reasons beyond your comprehension…/_

"Don't play omniscient god with me!" I yelled in no particular direction. It sounded like the voice was coming from everywhere. "What are you?"

_/I'm…a friend./_

I briefly wondered if this voice was the source of the reiki I sensed right before I passed out. Not like it mattered a hell of a lot, I doubted I would get any straight answers out of this guy any time soon.

"Well, _friend_, do you have a name?"

_/Just call me…Bob./_

"Bob?"

_/Yes./_

"Fantastic."

I started walking around a bit to reacquaint myself with my surroundings. At the same time, I tried to place Bob's voice. It sounded a little unfamiliar to me, but somehow I knew it. I must know Bob from somewhere, I just have to figure out the 'where' part.

"Any idea where I am, Bob?"

_/You should be very familiar with this place…/_

I remembered that all of my previous dreams took place in the past. Not that this felt anything like a dream, but who knows with the way things have been going lately.

"Any idea _when_ I am, Bob?

_/There is no true measure of time in this world./_

"Any idea why I'm here, Bob?" I was starting to get frustrated with the lack of support my supposed 'friend' was providing me. Not being able to place how I knew that voice was also driving me slightly crazy.

_/You have been given a second chance to set things right./_

"What'd you say?"

_/I used my powers to give you a second chance to save—/_

"Get the hell outta my waaaaaay!" an all too familiar voice screamed at me.

"Isn't that–"

I had started to turn, but it was too late. I had collided with some hotshot koumori running for his life from a very pissed off leader. He may have been incredibly handsome and had a fashion sense well beyond his time, but he was desperate. Desperate and eager to escape the shithole he had dug himself in. I knew his problems well; I just couldn't place the one he was trying to get out of at the moment.

"So did you spill hot tea on Youko or accidently eat one of his pet plants again?

My former body looked me straight in the eye.

"Either way, you weren't running fast enough," I sighed.

The full-blooded koumori in front of me pulled himself to his feet and continued watching me curiously.

"Neither," he finally said. "I threw one of his books at the Venus Fly Trap he _insisted_ keeping in the Study. I don't know the final fate of either."

I remembered that one. It happened about a week before what would turn out to be my final raid in Makai. This one kind of sucked. Kurama had grown a horde of Venus Fly Traps to track me down. He even threatened to feed my hat to one of them and you DO NOT mess with The Hat.

"There," he smirked. I smirked? I'm not really sure, but it was Koumori Kuronue doing the smirking. "I answered your question, now you answer mine….who the hell are you?"

"Fair enough," I sweatdropped. "But I doubt you'll believe me…"

"Try me," insisted Original Kuronue.

_/Tell him the truth…/_ encouraged Bob

"Well, I'd hate to get too Back to the Future on you…" I had said it before I realized Past Me wouldn't catch the reference. "But I'm you…or at least I'm the future you."

The other me stared in disbelief for a few moments, then laughed and drew his sythes.

"You're right, I don't believe you," He/me/us grinned. "Now tell me who you really are or I might lose what's left of my cheery demeanor."

I drew my sythes in response. Gods, I miss That Hat!

"Yeah, like I didn't see that coming," I smirked. "Sometimes even we can be a little too predictable…"

"So you even went to the trouble of tracking down the same weapons as me…nice touch, human."

"Hey, do you not sense the youki pouring out of me?" I shouted back, taking offense to the human comment. "Open your eyes, idiot!"

Original Kuronue chose not to answer and chucked a sythe my way. I knew he was probably struggling to figure out the weird yet familiar aura coming off me. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting your past self in a similar fun and happy situation like this, take my word for it that it's some of the weirdest shit you will ever do.

So, anyway, I dodged his/our standard warning attack with ease.

"In case you've already forgotten, I said I'm from the future not the past!" I couldn't help but laugh. "I've done that strike a million times already!"

_/You must take care not to harm your past self in any way!/_

"Shut up, Bob! I kind of figured that one out on my own!" I yelled up at the sky again.

Past Me sweatdropped.

"Now who are you talking to?" he asked.

"Strange disembodied voice by the name of Bob…" I answered, realizing how bizarre the whole thing must have looked. "Ring any bells?"

"None that I'm aware of…"

"Figures."

"So how long since your escape from the looney bin, then?" Koumori Kuronue asked with our trademarked crooked grin.

"I already told you I'm you, dammit!"

Then it hit me. The only way I could possibly prove my story. I took out my…er, our pendant and waved it in front of his face.

"See this, genius?" I asked, still frustrated with my past self. "It's the pendant given to me or us or whoever by our mother right before she died! Her last words were 'It's ok, baby…please, run…'"

The last part of the sentence seemed to affect both of us strongly. I just kind of blurted it out without thinking about it. Hell, I hadn't even thought about that day in years…but now wasn't the time to get choked up.

_/Good work./_ said Bob, interrupting my trip down memory lane.

"How could you have possibly known that…" Original Kuronue finally replied and reached to his chest to find it wasn't there. "Y-You thief! You fucking thief!"

Past self continued to call me a string of things in Makaiin that translate to 'generally not good person.' I suppose there have been very few occasions were things of that importance have been stolen from me. This was not one of those times.

"If you're done hollering at me, then check your left belt." I yelled back. "Apparently you already forgot that you moved it there yesterday because you thought it looked cooler."

The former me checked that spot and pulled out his pendant, identical to the one I was holding up, because…well, you get the idea.

"You would decide to move it back two days after today, because you missed having it around your neck. Not that you would ever admit that," I sweatdropped for both of us. "You're excuse was that it looks cool no matter where you wear it because you're just that awesome."

"O-Oh," he tried to shrug it off, but was too flustered to completely save face.

Ugh…was I really that stupid back then? No! No, it was just because of the situation. Anyone would have reacted like that. Even Youko would have had some trouble believing…oh, shit.

"Oh shit…" muttered Koumori Kuronue.

During our heart to heart little squabble, neither of us noticed the powerful youki slipping up on us until it flared up again just over the ditch that we ended up in. We really should have known better, but had been too distracted to think straight, I guess. Closing my eyes briefly, I did my best to ignore that little voice inside of me (no, not Bob) that told me I was about to get wrecked. I didn't need to look up at the source of the angry energy to confirm my sense of dread, but I did anyway.

And there in front of me was none other than Youko Kurama.

-**END: Chap. 23**

**::A/N::**

Neko: That's right, we go from daily school life to straight up trippy in less than one chapter. Because I can…I LOVE 4 DAY WEEKENDS!

Kuro: _(sweatdrops)_ I think I like the stressed-out schoolgirl you better… I seem to end up in less trouble when that Neko writes.

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-senpai** (Jap.) Honorific for "upperclassmen" or "senior" or "superior"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a small child or a girl. Hazuki uses it with Kuro as a joke.

**Megane** (Jap.) "glasses" this term can also be used to describe a person who wears glasses.

**Every word coming out of Kohana's** **mouth** (Jap.) Higurashi-isms. See Chapter 22 for more details.


	24. Chapter 24

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: My goal was to not leave you hanging another 6 months for this chapter. Mission accomplished!

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Neko: Thanks to everybody for the feedback. I don't often write about "going back in time" so I like your opinions on it. Reading the ideas you have about what the hell is going on was fun too.

Kuro: Do _you_ even know what the hell is going on?

Neko: Actually, yes. Some parts of the story (IHOP, student council code names, etc.) are random and thrown in for the hell of it at the last second, but I planned the connection between the place Kuro's in now and the "regular" world ahead of time so events and people would connect better.

Kuro: Whatever. I still want my pimp cane back.

Neko: And for whatever reason, it's hilarious writing Kuroji and Kuronue's character/s in the same scene. They started out being the same person, but ended up very different than I realized until I wrote this and the last chapter. Oh, well. There's not much cannon material to keep Kuronue IN character to begin with…

OoOoOoOoOoO

"I assume you were the idiot that decided it would be a good idea to throw a rare book written by a top-ranked, war strategist at a plant that contained 80% acidic fluids?" asked Youko in an icy tone.

"If I said no…" Past Kuronue grinned sheepishly before getting cut off.

"—I wouldn't believe you."

"What if I told you he did it?" the bat grinned again, pointing to me.

"Hey, don't drag me into this!" I exclaimed. There was no way in hell my human body could handle the punishment Youko was capable of dealing out.

Youko raised an eyebrow.

"Y-Yeah!" Past Me continued. "He claims he's another me. I caught him running out of the library and chased him down for you."

"You suck!" I snarled. "I can't believe I was such a dick!"

The other me gave me a look. It was a mix of 'You asked for it' and 'Better you than me.'

Youko finally sighed.

"Blaming your actions on imaginary friends is a pathetic excuse, Kuronue. Even for you."

"H-Huh?" both of us responded in unison. "What do you mean 'imaginary friend?'"

"When you decide to stop talking to yourself in the woods and return to the base, I'll have Ringo waiting for you with a toothbrush."

"A toothbrush?" Past Kuronue responded, now too confused with that instead of the invisible friend comment.

"Yes, I expect you to clean the entire fort with it."

"What?" both koumori shrieked in horror. I couldn't help it. Even I thought that was harsh, and I've had to reorganize the entire treasure vault on three separate occasions.

"I really liked that book," the kitsune responded nonchalantly. "Now try not to lose the argument you're having with yourself and get back to our fort. It's been looking a little muddy these past few days."

And with that, he left.

"Amazing!" I said. "I've never been let off the hook like that before! Last time I chucked that book at that stupid plant, he nearly fed The Hat to his stupid army of Venus Fly Traps!"

The other me responded by shuddering at the thought of The Hat being fed to a bunch of acid-spewing flowers, then remembered he was mad at me.

"Why didn't he see you?" Original-brand Kuronue hissed. "I _know_ that fox has top rate spiritual vision and he didn't even bat an eyelash at you!"

"I'm not really sure myself," I responded hesitantly. "Hell, I'm not even sure how I got here. I'm not exactly Doctor Who, y'know."

"Doctor….who?"

"Exactly," I grinned in spite of myself.

_/I already explained that I was the one who brought you here./_ said Bob. _/You really have the attention span of a gnat./_

"Shut up, Bob!" I growled. "You're not helping!"

"And Youko thinks _I'm_ the one with an imaginary friend?" sweatdropped former me.

"Look," I sighed, letting that last jab at my delicate ego slide. "I don't really know why I'm here or how I got here, but it seems like you're the only one who can see and hear me."

"Lucky me."

"My point is that until the stupid disembodied voice in my head tells me something useful, I'm stuck here thanking the gods that I'm not the one that has to clean the fort with a freaking toothbrush."

"Fine. Come on, then," sighed the other Kuronue, noting the surprised look I gave him. "You're gonna stalk me either way, right?"

I got back to my feet and followed him to the main base. We walked together in an awkward silence. I think he was starting to believe me, but I had nothing to go on to complete it.

_/Ahem./_

(Yes, Voice in My Head?) I responded internally. (You wanted to say something else cryptic and vague?)

/_And here I was going to tell you why I brought you here,/_ Bob retorted, a little offended.

(Shoot.)

_/I wanted to give you another chance to live./_ Bob responded with complete seriousness. _/I know what you went through and wanted to give you the opportunity to go back to the way things were before…..Provided you don't screw the future up __**too**__ much./_

(Wait, what do you mean you know what I went through?) I asked, confused. (How exactly do I know you?)

Bob didn't answer.

(Ok, well what am I supposed to do here? Nobody can see me besides my past self.)

_/Sometimes you only need one person to hear you to save a life./_

(Yeah, I know. I've seen HetaOni.) I replied sarcastically. (Are you saying I should tell the other me to avoid bamboo spears in a week or so, because I'm pretty sure that violates a few Time Travel Laws or something.)

_/You're content to watch yourself die and see your friend suffer?/_

(I still say this whole thing screams 'Time Parodox,' but I'll think about it.)

And that was that. I became lost in my thoughts and Bob resumed radio silence until we got back to the Lair, in all its glory. It was formerly a tree that Youko grew a hundred feet tall and hollowed portions out for people to live in. It was covered with a healthy supply of ivy, leaves, and sakura petals….or "ammunition" as Kurama liked to call them. Several of my former comrades were walking about on patrol and there was a faint smell of someone burning something in the kitchen again.

"Well, this brings back memories…"

"I'm sure it does," the other Kuro said under his breath as he grimaced at the sight of Ringo looking positively devious at the main doors. In his…oops, _her_ hand was a disgusting looking toothbrush. I'm not sure what color it was originally, but now it was settling on a grayish-green.

"Oh, Kurooooo," the tranny said in a sing-song voice. "I've got a miiiiiission for you."

"Do you now?" Past-Kuronue glared at him/her. "Because I think you have a better use for that toothbrush."

"As much as I'd like to shove it up that old creeper of a duke from the last raid's ass, I think I'll enjoy it more to watch you scrub the bathroom floors."

"C'mon, you can do this," I tried to cheer on my past life. Kuronue the Awesome does not clean bathrooms, he cleans out safes. I refuse to let that part of history change. "Ringo doesn't hate you for the most part. She hates Umeko."

The soon to be house-elf gave me the slightest of nods.

"You may like that, but you'll _love_ my plan," past me grinned.

"And what's that?" Ringo asked with curiosity.

"Share some booze with Umeko tonight so that she's still a little out of it when she goes to bed. The beauty queen's vanity will get the best of her and she'll want to brush her teeth," Original Kuro smirked. "I bet you would love to see her brush her teeth with that moldy piece of crap than watch me scrub floors with it."

"Hmm, you have my attention…" replied Ringo with an evil grin.

"Also, there are only so many maid nicknames you could give me, but the possibilities for Umeko's nasty garbage teeth are endless…"

"Sold!" laughed Ringo.

"Atta, boy! Er…girl!" my past self stumbled on his words, but the drag queen didn't seem to notice. S/He was too busy running off to get her rival for Kurama's attention drunk off her ass. Poor Kurama, even in this life he was surrounded by crazy fangirls.

"Oh! And if Youko asks, I gave this to you!" the boy-girl called off from the main gates. "Seeya!"

The former me gave a sigh of relief and I clapped him on the back.

"See? Are we awesome or what?" I laughed.

"We?" he asked. "I'm the one that did all the work, you're just the ghost that nobody can see except for me."

"Ghost?" I frowned. "I'm the _future_ you, idiot! _You_ become _me_, not the other way around!"

"Something to look forward to…"

I forget what a sarcastic bastard I can be.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Over the next few days, I learned a few new things about the situation I was in.

1. Nobody could see me, so I decided to play Ninja Kuronue. I was the perfect spy. I learned that Ringo kept more than his sexual preference in the closet, one of our tough guy members slept with a blankie, another had a surprisingly large panty collection, and that Youko had a secret stash of sake for when his guild members (but definitely not _me_) got too annoying.

2. I could not interact with any of the physical things around me, I would just pass through them….like a ghost.

3. Irony is a bitch.

4. Nobody besides my past self could hear me no matter how loud I yelled in their face.

5. My past self did not appreciate it when I yelled in his face.

6. My past self was still convinced that I was an evil spirit sent to annoy him. He kept blaming it all on karma getting back at him for all those pranks he'd pulled on other people.

7. Karma is a bitch.

8. I still had no clue in hell how I got here and was beginning to get worried about how much time had gone by in the "real world." I knew Kurama would cover for me, but didn't want him or my family to worry.

Bob remained surprisingly quiet for most of the time. I was really expecting him to play Angel and Devil on my shoulder about telling my past self about what would happen on the next raid, but he didn't press anything.

I tried to entertain myself by digging up as much blackmail on my old comrades as possible, but even that couldn't distract me from the big question of do I warn my past self about the trap that would take his life or not? Hell I could even be as subtle as suggesting to the Original Kuronue to put his amulet in his pocket for safe keeping.

All in all I was getting one big headache and the day of my final raid was here.

It was all going as I remembered it….down to the final weapons check and Youko going over the plan with me one last time.

"Are you sure you have all the guard routines and routes memorized, Kuronue? Security will be heavy this time."

"Of course I do, Youko. It'll take a lot more than a few pissy soldiers with sticks to stop us." Kuronue said happily.

I said his words with him under my breath.

"I made sure to take a look at the scout's layout for traps too," we said together. "Nothing can keep us from adding that priceless gold artifact to our collection of other priceless gold artifacts."

Too bad the scout hadn't accounted for traps set earlier that morning.

"Then let's move out," Youko Kurama smirked as he exited the room.

"I was waiting on you!" Both of us replied, but with a different emotion in our voices.

It was right around there that I couldn't take it anymore. My throat was tight, I felt like I was choking on air. I didn't think I could stand reliving this for much longer; it was tearing me apart.

"H-Hey, Kuronue…." I said, gathering my courage.

"Yeah, Ghost?" Past Me replied with a grin. "Make it quick, I'm on a tight schedule to rob some douchebag blind."

"I just wanted to say….good luck."

"Good luck?"

"Yeah," I said with what had to be the strangest expression of grief, regret, and hope on my face. "Good luck out there."

"Thanks!" my former self said, regaining his spark. "I'm outta here!"

I watched him as he took off after his best friend to rally the troops.

"Yeah…I know."

OoOoOoOoOoO

I couldn't even follow them inside the temple. I just waited outside by the trap that was about to change everything.

_/You didn't tell him./_ Bob finally spoke up.

"How observant of you," I replied without my usual wit.

_/Why?/_

"Because that isn't what I'm supposed to do."

_/What do you mean?/_

"Hey, don't get me wrong. I feel bad for you and all the Powers that Be that went to the trouble of arranging this for me, but…" I trailed off. "It's not what I'm supposed to do."

_/….And what are you supposed to do, then?/_

"I'm supposed to fuck this up and die. I'm supposed to wish with all my might that I hadn't. I'm supposed to use all that regret and rage and hope to burn a whole through Makai and the Ningenkai…" I trailed off. "I'm supposed to be reborn as Kuroji Akatsuki and make my Mom laugh. I'm supposed to throw a casserole plate at an Orange Beast Spawn to save my little brother. I'm supposed to scare the hell out of the bully at my sister's school when he calls her ugly. I'm supposed to introduce the Kappas at the construction site to the pavement when they try to attack my best friend. I'm supposed to support all of those people in the Ningenkai when they need me…I'm…I'm supposed to become Kuroji Akatsuki."

/…./

"I'm sorry, was that a little too heavy for you?" I forced myself to laugh. "I'm usually not that sentimental. Either way, sorry about screwing up you master plan to—"

_/….I'm very proud of you./_ was all Bob said before everything felt cold.

"Uh…what?" I asked. "That really wasn't the reaction I was expecting."

I looked around, knowing it wouldn't do any good because Bob was inside my head, but made me feel better regardless.

"….Bob?"

I heard the faint snapping of twigs under someone's footsteps. They were close. Youko and I were headed this way. Their world was about to turn upside down.

Kurama ran past me first, the kitsune always was just a little faster than I was, but I'd never tell him that. He paused and held up the gleaming artifact under his arm. Past Me gave him a grin – our plan had been perfect.

Alarms could be heard in the distance along with the thunder of 100 guards' footsteps – they weren't far behind. The kitsune and koumori sprung back into a sprint just before everything went wrong.

SNAP.

It was the sound of chain breaking. It was only a necklace, but it sounded like a gunshot to me.

There was nothing Youko could do as his best friend leapt off a branch and went back for his beloved amulet.

"Kuronue, don't!"

The words really stung this time.

"I need it!" my past self called back.

And it was done.

The second he picked up his amulet, dozens of bamboo spears fell from the sky and pierced him. There was blood everywhere. Kuronue had minutes to live.

"Kuronue!" Youko screamed. It was the first time I'd ever seen fear in his eyes.

"Get outta here! Save yourself, Youko!" My past self shouted, using his last few breaths to talk some sense into his friend. "Go!"

Then, with what I imagine had to be the hardest thing Kurama has ever done, he turned back and ran to safety as his best friend began to slip into the darkness. He didn't say another word. He couldn't say another word. He could only carry out my last request….and hate himself for it the entire way.

"Th-Thank you…." I heard the other me say. He would be gone in seconds.

I walked over to him, unsure of what to say, but figured I could at least be there so he didn't die alone.

"G-Ghost?" Past-Kuro said uncertainly, his eyes getting heavy.

"I'm here."

"F-Follow him….give…give him some peace…" he managed to say before a coughing fit struck.

"Already planned on it," I said somberly, tipping my invisible version of The Hat out of habit. "And just so you know….you'll meet each other again. It'll take awhile, but you _will_ find each other again and it'll be just like old times."

My past self smiled and his eyes closed as Kuronue for the last time.

OoOoOoOoOoO

When I finally got back to the hideout, it was a mess. Some of the lower-ranking members were buzzing around the main floor trying to figure out what was going on. The previous 3rd-in-command, just received his unofficial promotion to my 2nd-in-command rank, but didn't look nearly as happy as I'd pictured it as he gave the news to some of the higher-ups. Umeko and Ringo were actually crying. So were a few others. Youko was nowhere to be seen.

Since I could pass through solid objects, I just walked right through his locked door. The artifact that I had lost my life stealing was tossed haphazardly on the table. Youko himself was on his balcony, looking outside with an unreadable expression on his face. He was gripping the railing so tight, his knuckles were white; any harder and he'd probably cause it to crumble. His breathing wasn't quite even and his body was shaking under the stress. The guy was a mess.

"Youko…?" I called out, knowing it would be useless.

It was.

All I could do was watch my best friend stand in the same place for hours, mentally cursing himself for failing me. I think that was the worst part. Neither of us could say anything.

OoOoOoOoOoO

The next few days where hell on Earth for Youko. He was the leader of the strongest thieves guild in all of Makai, he wasn't allowed to be weak. He wasn't allowed to mourn. So, Youko continued carrying out his responsibilities with a front so cold, you'd think he was descended from the Koorime. Nobody went near him if they could help it. They were afraid they'd turn to ice if they did.

I felt terrible. I couldn't stand to watch my best friend refuse to eat, spend most of his time alone, and barely sleep. The few times I did see him sleep, he was captured by nightmares. Hell, I don't even know if they were nightmares or if he was just reliving the moment I died in front of him. Either way, both of us had never felt misery like that.

I tried calling out to him until my throat was raw. Nothing happened. How was I supposed to give him peace if he couldn't hear me? I was starting to lose hope. So was Youko.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I had finally had it several days later when I overheard some of the minions talking. They were afraid of what was to become of the Guild. After my death, Youko was completely frozen. He barely spoke with anyone unless he had to. Anyone who got close to him felt like they were talking to a ghost. People were afraid of him, but for completely different reasons now. The group I had been around were mentioning how reckless he had become, going on raids on his own and not even close to in his right mind. He used to carefully plan out each intricate detail of his raids before going on them solo or in a group. Now he just went after whatever he felt like whenever he felt like. No planning ahead. The minions were questioning how long he would last like that.

By that point I had lost it. I took off down the hallway and barreled through Youko's locked door screaming.

"KURAMA, YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME OR I WILL CALL YOU FLUFFYKINS McSPARKLE TAILS FOR THE REST OF YOUR ENTIRE EXISTANCE!"

I didn't expect it to work, but hey, I was pissed.

"….Kuronue?" Youko asked, astonished.

Holy shit it worked.

"Kuronue?" he asked again, glancing around.

"Kurama!" I exclaimed excitedly. "Kurama, can you really hear me?"

"…"

"Stop thinking that you're hearing things and that this is all in your head, because that would REALLY piss me off!" I snarled, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"How is this possible…?" the kitsune asked. "You're….gone."

"Well, actually, it's a little hard to explain, but I don't know how long I have until you really can't hear me anymore, so don't worry about that right now." I rambled on, taking note to my feet beginning to fade in and out of transparency.

He gave me a blank look.

"Anyway!" I interjected with a cheerful tone. "You're an idiot!"

"…."

"You think I wanted you to be miserable for all eternity? Forget it! There was absolutely nothing you could have done in that situation, and had the roles been reversed, I would have done the same as you." I said matter-of-factly. "I've been watching you these last couple days in a completely non-stalker fashion, and you're making me depressed, which, as you know, is quite the accomplishment."

If you haven't figured it out by now, when I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I ramble.

"I don't want you to go on this way," I said with all seriousness, as I knelt beside the fox. "You're my best friend, and it really hurts to see you suffering like this, especially when I know I'm the one who caused it."

"You didn't cause anything, Kuronue!" Youko exclaimed. "It was my fault I….I let you die…"

"Remember what I said I'd call you if you didn't listen to me?" I glared at him. "You are 2 steps closer to Fluffykins McSparkle Tails."

Youko looked towards where he heard my voice coming from, but didn't say anything.

"And since you can't see me, I want you to know that I'm glaring at you right now."

"I imagined so," he replied.

"Look, I'm about to tell you something that could possibly alter the future, but I'm only gonna tell you if you promise me something," I said is my usual carefree tone.

"Alright."

"For the love of Inari, shiny things, and all the sake in the world, STOP blaming yourself for my death. Got it?"

"I'll try."

I gave him a verbal glare.

"I promise."

"Ok, then….Somewhere off in the future, we're gonna meet again and cause all kinds of chaos." I smiled. "Well, I'm gonna cause all kinds of chaos. You're mostly there to help bail me out and keep me from getting arrested. But it's still going to be a blast! You won't admit it, but you're really enjoying yourself! Just like the old times!"

"Just like…old times?"

"Yes, only we get to wear awesome uniforms designed by _me_ in the future."

"Not a chance," Youko said with the beginnings of a smile on his face.

"Oh, well I guess you better suck it up and come find out one day then!" I laughed in response.

"And if you're wrong, you owe me a drink," said my comrade.

"OK, fine, and if I'm right, you owe _me_ a drink."

"It's a deal."

I could see my hand start to fade.

"I'll see you later, Kurama."

"See you then…Kuronue."

From there on out, the world around me faded and I was blinded by a bright light, commonly referred to as the sun.

"Kuronue?" Someone called my name.

I mumbled something along the lines of 'five more minutes.' My body felt exhausted. I could barely move, I felt so tired. Even my eyelids felt like they weighed two tons each.

"Kuronue!" the same voice called to me.

"Stop yelling at me….You can't prove I did it….and please turn the fucking sun down."

"Just open your eyes," the voice commanded me.

I blinked a few times, adjusting the unforgiving ultraviolent lights. I was under a tree and Kurama was next to me. But it was Red Kurama, not Silver Kurama. He looked relieved about something, I just wasn't sure what. All I knew for sure was that I had never wanted the sun to explode more in my entire life.

"You finally woke up," the redhead said.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"The anemone knocked us both out for awhile, but I woke up first. You've been out for about 20 minutes."

"Ugh…felt a lot longer than that," I complained, rubbing my head. "I think I have sunstroke."

"I think you're delirious."

"Maybe, but now I know why the Creepy Flower was put here."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do, but..."

"But…?"

"But more importantly, you owe me a drink!"

-**END: Chap. 24**

**::A/N::**

Neko: Wow, when did this become so angsty? Good thing it won't last.

Kuro: _(frowns)_ You got my lines wrong.

Neko: The ones from the movie?

Kuro: _(nods)_

Neko: Funny story. I didn't have access to my copy of the movie at the time I wrote this, so I did everything minus your final line from memory. Then I couldn't remember the exact wording, so I looked it up online and FAIL. Every clip of the movie I watched either played music over the line being said or ended before the "true memory" scene came on. I was _pissed_.

Kuro: So?

Neko: So I made it up. I know it was something similar, so…nyah.

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-senpai** (Jap.) Honorific for "upperclassmen" or "senior" or "superior"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a small child or a girl. Hazuki uses it with Kuro as a joke.

**Sake** (Jap.) Rice wine. Best served boiling.

**Ringo, Umeko** (Jap.) "Apple" and "Plum Blossom Child" respectively. They are OC's I created for Anem and Shallow Sleep so I didn't have to say "Random Thief Lackey 1" and "Random Thief Lackey 2."


	25. Chapter 25

**Anemone**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer:** Me no own, you no sue.

**Warnings:** OOCness, Maaya-bashing, AU-ish, mild language, and flirty bats.

Neko: Chapter 25! With a lot more funny and a lot less angst!

**-Respose To Reviewers-**

Neko: Thanks to everybody for the feedback. I don't often write about "going back in time" so I like your opinions on it. Reading the ideas you have about what the hell is going on was fun too.

Kuro: _(rolls eyes)_ I'm more amazed _you_ know what the hell is going on.

Neko: _(ignores)_ Sorry again for the angst/cliché/depressing last chapter. I had to get it out of the way in order for the plot to make sense later. To make up for it, there will be 80% more pandas in this and the next chapter.

Kuro: Pandas?

Neko: _(ignores)_ Unfortunately, there are times where the plot/direction of the story calls for Kuro to be serious, but don't worry, he's the same loveable idiot for the other ¾ of the fic.

Kuro: Who are you calling an idiot?!

Neko: I feel that using a character like him for anything other than humor and snappy comebacks is a waste (unless done really, _really_ well) so that's why I portray him the way I do and put him through the most random crap imaginable. So, on with the fic! (And props to the couple of reviewers that caught the Hetaoni reference last time! See how many ridiculous anime references you catch this time.)

OoOoOoOoOoO

"But more importantly, you owe me a drink!"

The redhead stared at me for a moment, head slightly tilted.

"You want some water?"

"Water?" I laughed. "I want some of the top-tier sake you kept stashed away in the Lair for when the rest of the guild got too obnoxious!"

The redhead got the strangest mixture of confusion, surprise, and suspicion on his face before going on the defensive.

"I'm sure I'll regret asking, but how do you know about that?"

"I spent a week in our old hideout being a Super Ninja," I grinned. "I know _everything_ about _everyone_!"

"….Maybe you're right. You _do_ have sunstroke."

"Hey, hear me out, will ya?!"

And so my best friend listened to my rants, raves, and derogatory remarks. He nodded in understanding when I told him I was in a dream or illusion or something involving our old hideout during the end of the Golden Age (I assume he's had plenty of dreams about those days as well). He inclined his head when I tried to explain how there were two of me there, but only my past life could see/hear me. And he agreed a little too quickly when I remarked how past-me was a total prick.

Feeling a lot more confident in my survival ratio while he was in his reincarnated form (i.e. not going to summon any horrible plants from Makai to tear off my head at the moment) I punched him in the arm to express my fragile feelings being hurt.

Ignoring my rants about how insensitive both his forms are, he urged me to get back to the vision I saw.

I told him about how Bob was the only other one able to talk to me, even though I didn't know where his crazy disembodied voice was coming from – Kurama just shrugged, having heard stranger stories from me. Then I told him Bob was playing god and told me I was getting a chance to change part of the past, provided I didn't mess up the future too much (like telling Youko that we'd pay for our sins by wearing horrific pink school uniforms) – Kurama nodded, trying to process the information from my Yohji Yamamoto-like fashion sense. Of course, when I told him about how I talked myself out of cleaning the entire Lair with an old toothbrush, he burst out laughing. He then told me that he now finally understood why Ringo could say the word "toothbrush" around Umeko and make the latter turn green.

I joined in on the laughing until I realized something – that wasn't supposed to have happened in the original timeline and yet Kurama remembered it. That made it one of his legitimate memories. My head began reeling at that point. Had I actually just screwed with the past? Did I really go and change something that was never supposed to happen? What else did I change while playing Ghost Guide to my past life?!

"Kurama! Kurama! Everything's been destroyed! It's the butterfly effect to the demon degree! There's gonna be tsunamis the size of Fish Face's ego!" I exclaimed, shaking his shoulders. "What else did I fuck up?! There's still video games, right?! And pizza? Tell me there's pizza! Have the aliens landed?! Oh, gods, Itchweed's not the Student Council President, is she?! Cthulu is going to rise with her running the school!"

"First of all, calm down," insisted the redhead. "The world is not in any mortal peril at the moment, pizza is still around, and you're still President."

"Oh, thank god…"

"But…" he asked in a confused tone. "What's a video game?"

I stared at him in horror, but before I could start screaming—

"I'm joking, Kuronue."

"You evil bastard!" I nearly screeched. "I almost believed you! This is serious, dammit!"

The mischievous fox with no morals chuckled for a moment, then asked me to continue my story. I asked him if there was something else he remembered being different.

"Being different?" asked the kitsune. "Kuronue, I don't remember there being two different timelines to begin with. This is all you."

I blinked and my throat went dry.

"Does this mean…I went back in time and changed the future? I completely destroyed one timeline in favor for a better one?" I nearly whispered, then jumped up. "I'm Doctor-freaking-Who!"

Kurama sweatdropped as I returned to sitting down.

"Alrighty then, looks like _I_ have to give _you_ a history lesson," I smirked, enjoying the fact that for once I knew something that he didn't. "When I fished you out of the river as a young kitsune pup, you were crying and whimpering because sharks were attacking, so I roundhouse kic—"

"I meant the real story, not the delusion you perceive around you."

"Fine," I snorted, ignoring his annoyed expression. "But had I known I could change the past, I would've done so much more…"

I glanced over at the anemone flower beneath the tree that served as my temporary Tardis. It looked like any other flower now. I didn't have to be Kurama to sense that it lost most of its magic. I guess that means there's no going back and hitting the reset button until I was happy with the result. That made me both disappointed and freakishly relieved.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"And the blackmail! Oh my dear little kitsune, you would not _believe_ the insane amounts of blackmail I have on everybody! I have half a mind to go back to Makai right now just to exploit it all!" I laughed maniacally.

I noticed the look the King of Thieves was giving me and cut to the chase.

"The biggest difference is that I had the chance to stop myself from getting killed that night…" I trailed off. "I think that was the reason that Bob or whoever brought me back to that point; to give me the chance to alter that point in history, change it or leave it."

"And you chose to leave it?"

"Yeah…"

"Why?"

It was a simple question, but an involved answer.

"I knew I had pancakes and video games to look forward to, so—"

Now it was my turn to get punched in the arm.

"Ok, ok! To spare you the sentimental speech, I just figured that it was supposed to happen that way. Sure it sucked for everybody, but I felt like I was supposed to let it happen so I'd be brought here and meet you and the others just like I did."

"That's very intuitive for you, Kuronue. I'm so proud," smirked the kitsune, half-joking, half-serious.

For a moment, I recalled Bob the Bastard tell me something similar…My brain being what it is wouldn't let it go that I felt like I should know him, but couldn't place him for the life of me. He definitely wasn't Kurama or one of the other members of our Thief's Guild and I didn't know many humans empowered enough to pull off the dimension-ripping skills of whoever or whatever Bob is. I kept drawing a blank and kept getting more frustrated, especially since my only other clue was a flower that no longer carried any deep power. None of that was helping, so I decided to focus on something slightly more important.

"But hey…I'm sorry," I said, patting my old friend on the back. "After I watched myself die, I was still stuck in that world…I saw you going through hell and back again."

"It's ok, I wasn't the only one who was in turmoil."

"Yeah, but…I just, I felt terrible. I couldn't even do anything for you until just before I came back here." I admitted. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't heard my voice just before I—"

"I heard your voice?" he asked, surprised.

"Who the hell did you think you were talking to?!" I snapped, a little hurt.

He ignored me of course and nodded, a smile beginning to form on his face again.

"Then it really was you."

"I _told_ you not to think it was your mind playing tricks on you! Dammit, Kurama, I _told_ you!"

"You have a different voice now than you did then," the redhead defended himself. "It was a little confusing."

"Oh, right…" I sweatdropped. "I hadn't thought of that."

Suddenly the redhead smiled like somebody just gave him an all-access pass to any art museum of his choosing, security cameras disabled, curators corrupt, guards incompetent, artifacts priceless, street cred limitless, option to put a full-scale model skeleton of a T-Rex in your backyard possible…eh, you get the idea.

"What?" I asked.

"Thank you."

"For what? Messing with your head?"

"For your words," he said. "They were very comforting."

"I have a way with words," I grinned. Then it dawned on me. "And you still owe me that drink!"

"Really?" he asked. "That's what you're taking away from your life-altering experience?"

"Damn straight!" I pulled him up and ushered him in the direction of his human house. "I want sake. The good stuff. The kind you kept hidden in the Lair for days you dealt with annoying underlings!"

"Yes," he mused. "It's a wonder you didn't give me a drinking problem…"

We continued arguing like that the rest of the trip back.

OoOoOoOoOoO

The next day came too quickly. Even worse was that it was a Tuesday, which are almost as bad as Mondays, but still proof that the universe is fucking with you. On Tuesdays, the great powers above stand back, laughing at all of us poor souls dragging their asses to school thinking '_Tomorrow isn't Friday…hell, the day after tomorrow _still _isn't Friday…_'

To be fair, I was probably still recovering from the previous day.

Y'know, that time I _changed the future_. No big deal.

On this particular day, several students honed in on my complete disregard for anything breathing, and ignored it whether they intended to or not. As Student Council President, I should really create a law about talking to me before 9 AM on Tuesdays….and every other day of the week. Functioning on 2 Pop-tarts and a bad attitude really isn't functioning.

"Are you sure you don't want to join the Track team, Akatsuki?" asked Track Guy. I'm not really sure what his name was…

"Positive."

"Lots of cute girls in shorts…"

"Hmm, tempting, but no. I'm a busy guy." I grinned at him, so he wouldn't take it personally.

"I guess so…" he said, rubbing his head. "Being the President and all…"

"You got it."

That and spending the rest of my time avoiding homework like hexes and filling in the gaps with pranks, plots, fighting, and video games. Thankfully, the Track Guy realized the end of our conversation and headed off to meet somebody else, probably to give them the same recruitment speech. Still, I made a mental note to learn his name at some point. I appreciate it when people don't overstay their welcome, which is a lesson the next person to run up to me clearly never learned.

"Yoohooo! Kuroji-kun!" came a sugar-coated voice.

"Yes?" I replied as cheerfully as I could. After all there was a chance that voice could belong to a beautiful girl. A very slim chance, but I don't take chances when it comes to – oh godammit, it was one of the crazies from that stalker club.

"I made you a lifelike chibi replica of you in all your princely glory to bedazzle your book bag!" the otaku girl cooed, holding up a surprisingly well-made voodoo doll, er, I mean chibi…thing. I chose to ignore the paradoxal question of how it could be both lifelike and super-deformed at the same time. Schrödinger's chibi anyone?

"Aw, you shouldn't have…" I managed to grin/wince. You really, _really_ shouldn't have.

"I hope you don it every day and think of me fondly."

"That would be difficult," I said apologetically.

"Wh-What?" she asked, crocodile tears ready to gush waterfalls of fake sadness and despair at a moment's notice. She gripped my wrists with a surprising amount of strength.

_I don't even know your name, crazy one, because if I did, you can bet it'd be written in one of two places – a restraining order or a Death Note. _

"Yes," I nodded with mock sadness in my voice. "You see, my little sister had made me something similar when we were kids that I kept on my school bag. It lasted me throughout most of elementary and middle school, but broke shortly after I passed my entrance exams to Meiou…"

"What happened to it?" my captive audience asked curiously.

"Nobody knows," I shrugged. "Ever since it went missing, my little sister's been hard at work on making a charm that lives up to the old one. I promised her that until then I would hold off on buying or accepting any other charms. To do so would break her little heart…"

"Omigawd, really?"

"Yes," I nodded with as much seriousness as I could muster at 7:30 in the morning. "I've turned down every doll and charm offer since, so I could keep my promise to my little sister."

"That's…it's…how noble of you, Kuroji-kun!" the girl's eyes glittered with tears and hid what I assumed to be a nasty yandere side. If she goes after Hana with a hatchet I'll know I was right.

"Thank you for understanding," I smiled. "I really appreciate it…for my sister's sake."

After that last line of bullshit, I waved and walked off. Anymore and I would probably burst out laughing and give myself away.

"He's so sweet…!" I heard her mutter into the breeze.

_Any sweeter and I'd need an insulin shot._

As if that wasn't enough, another person mobbed me before I even got to my locker.

"Excuse me, Akatsuki, but have you seen Maaya-san?"

Why they would ask me that, I had no idea. I think the first day at school combined with the presidential race made it pretty clear that there was nothing short of vile, uninhibited hate between the two of us. Better clear that up for this dunce.

"Maaya Itchweed is the reason why school is more torturous than educational, she's the reason why annoying has so many adjectives, she's the reason why Akusei doesn't need to beat students to make them miserable, and is the reason why Waldo is still hiding."

"But have you seen her recently?"

" Nope. She must be off shedding her skin somewhere. I hear she has to do that a few times a year…"

The underclassmen sighed and walked off, probably in search of a snake charmer to find Itchweed. Or an exorcist.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Afterschool couldn't come fast enough. Not only did it get me out of the classroom, but I had a Student Council meeting to run. I had high hopes for turning the room into the cockpit of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann in order to promote teamwork and glorious mechas. If I planned on piercing the over-restricting school rules put into place by the evil vice principal (who I'm pretty sure is part Anti-Spiral to begin with), I needed no less than the tools that could pierce the heavens.

"Hello, my idolizing teammates, your fearless President is here!" I exclaimed, opening the door. "Are you ready to pierce the heavens today?"

"Are you serious?" snorted Ayame, resident megane-bitch.

"If you're referring to those stupid computers you rented, I returned them to the library," Kootchi added, typing away at his own laptop.

"You what?!" I complained, with fake tears. "How could you? Those were our secret weapons in winning back the school in the name of justice!"

"No," the boy sighed. "Those were the result of your stupid idea to shove drills into computers that you borrowed from the school to begin with! Do you have any idea how difficult that was to explain to the media center teacher?"

"You should have told her that Akatsuki is clinically insane, so it's hardly your fault," the ice queen added coldly.

"It's ok, Nii-nii," the pink-haired, childlike senior of our group said comfortingly. "I got them back!"

And she whipped off the covers of my 5 beautiful school laptops that I outfitted with drill bits in hopes of instilling them with the hope of humanity and extremely large sunglasses.

"You _what_?!" wailed Kootchi.

"You _rock_!" I exclaimed, giving Kohana a high-five. "You have shown great bravery against bitchy odds, my friend!"

"Nii-nii, is so funny!" the shorter girl laughed.

"Sorry, for being late. I was…detained." Kurama stated as he entered the classroom. I immediately recognized this as Bro Code for 'I had to lose the fangirls first.' "Did I miss anything?"

"Not at all, Minamino," Ayame said simply. "President Akatsuki hasn't called the meeting to order or said anything of great importance just yet."

"Oi, everything I say is important!" I argued. "The words tumbling out of my mouth ever so gracefully are nothing short of poetry and power in motion. I speak and the languages of near and far bow to me, semantics and pragmatics dancing in the wind of my speeches! My words are heroic and inspiring!"

"I would have gone with 'bizarre' and 'video game references,'" the fox smirked, taking his seat.

"Watch it, fluffytails!" I retorted, taking mine as well. "But I'll give you the video game references part."

"Would you please call the meeting to order already?" Ayame asked impatiently. "Some of us have things to do after this."

"I will when I'm done tying my cape," I explained while tying the red cloak on. "Obviously."

"I thought I got rid of all your stupid accessories…" Kootchi mumbled in disbelief.

"Oh, Kootchi, Kootchi, Coo…you don't know me well enough to foil _half_ my schemes yet."

"I told you not to call me that! My name is _Kuchinashi_! Why is that so hard for you to remember?!"

"I call this meeting to order in the name of All that is Righteous!" I exclaimed, whacking the desk with my little gavel.

"Don't use Student Council affairs to change the subject!"

"Kootchi-kun, how dare you interrupt," I mock-scolded, pointing the toy hammer at him. "Don't you know that Ayame-sama here has places to be? We need to begin immediately."

"Thank you," she replied icily.

"Right, so then…" I looked to my right. "Kurama, what the hell are we doing?"

"We're finalizing our budget and list of expenses for the upcoming school festival," came his response, without missing a beat. Have I mentioned how handy it is to be working with your best friend? Especially, your genius best friend that nobody can discredit or argue with?

"Gotcha. Ok, so I'm thinking 'Battle Royale' for the theme!" I grinned.

"You want us to distribute guns and encourage students to go out and kill each other?" Ayame snorted. "That'll go over well with the faculty."

"As amazed as I am that you drew that reference, no." I said with a little respect in my voice. "I was going with giant, no holds barred fighting match in the middle of the school's courtyard….but your idea has potential too."

Ayame huffed and turned her head away in annoyance/trying to hide her embarrassment. Battle Royale is a pretty gruesome anime/novel after all. Not befitting of the Ice Princess's lineage at all. I'm willing to bet she'll omit that statement from the Meeting Notes. Actually, I'm willing to bet she'll omit a lot of what I say from the Meeting Notes.

"I pulled up the information from last year's festival." Kurama cut in, passing out copies of a packet. "Perhaps we could start by looking them over and making changes where we see fit."

"Good idea," I agreed. "This draft has nowhere near the amount of giant mecha that I was expecting out of our very first festival of the year."

Several more exasperated sighs escaped the mouths of the annoyed Secretary and Treasurer. The Student Coordinator was preoccupied with her pocky while the Vice President expected nothing less from me.

At least I wasn't the only one arguing at the meeting. Kootchi and the Ice Queen got into a pretty heated debate over the type of cuisine to offer – sushi or tempura. I was actually hoping they'd get into a fist fight over yellowtail and tuna before Kurama interrupted and suggested a "traditional" menu, so both of their ideas could be incorporated. Whatever. I wasn't even going to give them my awesome idea of cookies shaped like a Gundam's head. My standards were clearly too high for them at the moment.

"What about pandas?"

We all turned to face Kohana. It was the first request she'd made during the entire meeting and she'd done it in a surprisingly meek tone. Very odd for the typically hyper, genki-to-a-fault, upperclassman.

"Pandas?" Kootchi repeated. He'd wanted to make sure he understood her properly.

She nodded vigorously. We sweatdropped more.

"You want us to bring in a panda for the festival?" I asked.

"Y-Yeah."

"Let's do it," I grinned. "Koochi-kun, add 'Panda Petting Zoo' to our expense list."

"Er, don't we have to vote on it?" He asked uncertainly.

"I don't think that's necessary," Kurama smiled.

"Just write it down, Kuchinashi-kun," agreed Glasses.

"Yaaaaay!" squealed the pink-haired girl, leaping out of her seat. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"I'm sure it'll be a hit," I grinned.

Kohana was _beaming_ by the end of the meeting. I had no idea she liked pandas so much. I guess it's the little things in life…

As I parted ways from my fellow student council members, I began my secret plots to save the school festival. I'll be damned if I let a little thing like "school regulations" or "Ayame's fist down my throat" get in the way of offering free experimental Knightmare Frame mecha rides.

-**END: Chap. 25**

**::A/N::**

Neko: I can't believe I've written 25 chapters of this already…Crazy. I hope to keep them coming (and at a more reasonable rate)!

**Translation Corner-**

I tend to include foreign words in my fics, so you can see definitions here. If you see something that's wrong or that you want to add on, let me know so I can fix it. (To shorten this, most of the character names that appeared and were defined in previous chapters, were left out.)

**Koumori** (Jap.) "Bat"

**Kitsune** (Jap.) "Fox"

**Youkai** (Jap.) "Demon"

**Youki** (Jap.) "Demon Energy"

**Ki **(Jap.) "Energy"

**Makai **(Jap.) "Demon World"

**Ningen** (Jap.) "Human"

**Ningenkai** (Jap.) "Human World"

**Reikai** (Jap.) "Spirit World"

**Reiki** (Jap.) "Spirit Energy"

**-sensei** (Jap.) Honorific for "teacher"

**-senpai** (Jap.) Honorific for "upperclassmen" or "senior" or "superior"

**-kun** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a boy.

**-chan** (Jap.) Honorific to show familiarity with a small child or a girl. Hazuki uses it with Kuro as a joke.

**Sake** (Jap.) Rice wine. Best served boiling.

**Megane **(Jap.) "Glasses"


End file.
